Trying To Move On…And Up

Sara contacts someone from her past and Tegan takes care of business

When Sara woke up the next morning her bed was empty. She panicked for a second before she saw the note. 'I'm having coffee with Chris Walla. I called him and he said we could get some details done over coffee. I'll be back around 11:30.' Sara looked at the clock. It was ten thirty. Her mind wandered back to her memory from the night before. She reached for her phone and dialed the all too familiar numbers that she hadn't called for several months. She worked her breathing to keep herself calm.

"Hello?" The now familiar comforting voice answered after a few rings.

"Hello. Is this Courtney?" She knew the answer, but she thought it would be polite to make sure.

"Yes, this is he." His soothing voice responded, "Who is this?"

"It's Sara."

"Sara?" She could hear his shock, "How've you been? I haven't heard from you in months!"

"I've been doing well, actually. I'm sorry it's been so long. But I'm sure you've been okay with a break from me crying and screaming at you." She smiled even though she had tears in her eyes. She had missed calling him.

"I could never miss that Sara." She didn't know how he did it, but he never got mad at her. Even when she accused him of being at fault in Jessie's death, he took it all in stride and just listened as she cried, "It was better me than Shaun. I don't think he could have taken the blame on that. Not well at least."

"I just wanted to thank you for helping me through the toughest years of my life."

"It was my pleasure Sara." She knew it had been, she knew that he was okay with how she had treated him.

"I met someone." She smiled her pain leaving momentarily.

"Oh? Is she good for you?" Somewhere in their relationship he had become protective of her, making sure she didn't put herself in bad relationships and jobs.

"She's fantastic for me." She smiled again, "Her name's Tegan. She's a musician."

"Is she the Tegan?" She had told him a lot about her during her pain, Tegan's music had been a security blanket for her.

"Yes. And she's absolutely incredible."

"Well that's awesome!" She could hear the sincere joy he felt at this news.

"Yeah, and we're going to record an album together."

"So you finally picked your guitar back up?" She could tell he was on the verge of tears at this news, not sad tears, no, but happy, joy filled tears.

"Yes." A few happy tears ran down her cheeks, "And it's been wonderful. I performed at the bar I work at, and people loved it."

"So I was right?" He joked with her, "I always told you that you star potential."

"You did, yes." She laughed at the memories, "But that was because you were afraid I'd get too depressed without positive re-enforcement."

"And I was right about that too." He sounded serious, soothing, and strong. The way he had always sounded after the first few weeks of calls.

"You probably were."

"Where do you live now?"

"Vancouver."

"All the way across country, eh?" He chuckled, "You ran all the way across the country and found love? Not many people have done that."

"No, I suppose they haven't." There was brief silence, "I'm sorry again…for all that time, all the shouting and all the blame."

"I forgive you Sara. But only if you promise me that you're done blaming yourself." He sounded just like he used to.

"Then who do I blame?" The emotions inside her were on a rollercoaster ride. Unfortunately, it was a ride that spent most of the time going down.

"No one Sara, you blame no one." He gave her a moment to let the words sink in, "It was alcohol. It impaired her decision making, no one is at fault."

"Are you sure?" She didn't know how to respond, "I've been blaming myself and Shaun ever since it happened. Are you sure?"

"I'm sure Sara. It's not healthy to blame yourself. You can't change what happened. And your decision to have a fun night did not cause it. Got it?" He was calm and very sure of what he said.

"Thank you Courtney, I need to hear that every once in a while."

"A lot of people do." He would know, in his line of work there were a lot of people blaming themselves for injury, death, and even illness.

"How's work been?"

"It's never been as bad as that night." He honestly meant that, and it was good to hear that he hadn't had to deal with anything as painful as that night, "That was the only time I ever delivered news as shocking and sudden as that. But if it happens again, God forbid, I know how to handle it. You helped me with that."

"I'm glad things have been better." No one should have to deliver that kind of news, especially not a recent med school graduate who was working his first night in ER. He usually worked on one of the top floors, and nothing had prepared him for the ER that night, "I'll call you again soon. And not to yell, I'm done doing that. But I'd love to know how everything's going."

"And I would like to have some more details of how life is like in the West."

"Bye Courtney, keep your head up, don't get surprised by anything, and stay as strong as you have always been for me."

"I will Sara. You know I will. And don't you go blaming yourself or Shaun anymore. And be happy with Tegan. I'll talk to you soon." She smiled and thanked him yet again before hanging up.

Tegan walked into Bold Brews and quickly went up to the counter.

"Alone today, that's different." Lindsey smiled at her and batted her eyes.

"I have a business meeting."

"What kind of 'business'?" Lindsey was completely intrigued.

"If it goes as planned I'll let you know what it's about." She smiled and ordered a mocha.

"I'll want details!" Lindsey called out as Tegan walked to the barista's side of the counter.

"Hey, if you won't let Emy give me details why would I give you details?" Tegan responded with a grin.

"Not those kind of details!" Lindsey blushed and helped the next person in line.

Tegan chuckled to herself over her own quick wit and sat down at her corner table. She impatiently checked her phone for the time several times before Chris finally walked into the little café.

"Hey Chris." She waved in greeting and motioned for him to come over to her.

"Hello Tegan." He smiled, "What is it that you want to talk about?"

"Is Friday too soon?"

"For recording?" He took a minute to think things over, "No, that should be fine."

"And what are the terms of our recording session?" She didn't want any false promises.

"Record as long as you want on Friday, up until midnight, and if I'm pleased with how things are going, you can record Saturday as well." She let the words sink in before letting a grin plaster on her face, "If I still like you by midnight Saturday, I will sign you, and let you record the full album. If sails go as well as I think they might, I'll give you guys another chance to make an album. How's that sound?" He tried to pass the offer off as casually as possible.

"That sounds incredible!" She sat with her mouth hanging open, "I need to quickly check with Sara though."

"Go ahead, I'm just going to go get some coffee." He smiled as he stood up, then we walked to the line of people.

Tegan pulled out her phone and quickly dialed Sara's number.

"Hi Tegan!" Sara answered immediately, "I just got off the phone with an old friend, how are things going with Chris?"

"Well," She tried not to sound too excited, "I just talked to him, and if we come down to Seattle and record this coming Friday and Saturday, and he still likes us by the end of Saturday, he'll let us record a full album!"

"Holy Shit!" Sara was in shock, "Are you serious?"

"Yes!" Tegan smiled widely, "So, do you think you can get enough songs to try out for this weekend? Cause I have a lot and can just record whatever will sound best with your songs."

"Yeah, I think I can find a few of my old notebooks of lyrics and get a couple of good enough ones to try at the studio." Sara was so beyond cloud nine, she didn't even think it was possible to have that much joy at one time, "Today has been a good day so far!"

"Yeah?" Tegan was glad that Sara had agreed to her and Chris' terms, "You said you called a friend, right?"

"Yeah," And she was glad she had, it was the extra comfort she needed after last night, "He was there for me all the times I needed someone after Jessie's accident. I hadn't talked to him in months, but it was just what I needed. That, coupled with this news, makes today one of the best days of my life!"

"Oh, which ones have been better?" Tegan smiled, glad that her girlfriend was finally truly happy.

"Well, the day that Jessie came out and seeing the way everyone respected her still is probably my second favorite day so far," She smiled, briefly letting her mind drift back, "But my favorite day was the day I met you. You're turning my life back around."

"You have no idea how happy I am to hear that! Anyway, I've got to go and finish some stuff up with Chris Walla. I'll see you in a bit." They said goodbye and Tegan hung up.

"So is she on board?" Chris seemed nervous, almost like he thought he had to convince them to record for him.

"Yes. She said this weekend will work fine." Tegan smiled and Chris let out a sigh of relief, "Is there some sort of official paper to sign?"

"Yeah," Chris pulled an official looking paper out of his jacket, "It just says that you'll be there on Friday, anywhere between six am and midnight. It's more of an appointment book, really." He smiled at her and she quickly wrote her name down at the bottom. She was moving up in the world, and it felt so damn good!

Sara pulled her leather jacket over her gray v neck and got in her car. She decided not to wait for Tegan to get back; she wanted to join in the conversation at the coffee shop. Well, hopefully that's where Tegan went it's where she usually goes.

Sara walked through the door and immediately saw Tegan sitting in the corner talking to Chris.

"Sara, what are you doing here?" Tegan smiled and patter her lap.

Sara sat down on Tegan's legs and gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, "I was too excited to stay at my place."

"We were just going over the final details of how things would work in the studio."

"Yeah, basically," Chris continued the conversation that Sara had missed out on, "You don't have to worry about how good you sound vocally, I only really need to get a feel for your lyric writing, song style, and how natural things like harmony are for you. And like I said, if I like you guys I'll really work hard on getting it to sound good. I know a lot of talented musicians, so if you need anyone to record an instrument for you, I can find someone. And if any of your songs need bass or electric guitar for the testing phase, I can play that for you. Any questions?"

"Yeah," Sara spoke up, her happiness spilling out of her, "Do you want us to come with demos or something?"

"Well, I've heard one of Tegan's EPs," He smiled, showing that he had liked it, "And I saw both of you play live, so I don't think demos will be necessary at this stage."

"Okay. Then I just need to find one of my old song notebooks and I'm ready for Friday!" Sara looked down at Tegan and the both smiled. She gave her a quick kiss then hugged her tightly, "This is such an incredible opportunity, thank you."

"It's not a problem," He smiled at the two of them, "I'm just glad I found you guys before someone else did."

"So am I." Tegan took him a bit by surprise by this, "I love Death Cab, and now I get to work for Chris Walla….from Death Cab For Cutie. It's literally a dream come true!"

After exchanging a lot of thank yous, they said goodbye to Chris and just sat together in the arm chair. They stayed in the coffee shop for over an hour a mix of shock and joy running through each of their bodies. Tegan couldn't believe after all those years of putting out EPs and playing in bars someone had actually taken interest in her music. And Sara couldn't believe that anyone had liked her rusty guitar playing skills and four year old songs. They ghosted through the rest of the day, watching TV in Tegan's apartment, eating meals, cuddling in bed, and for Sara, even going to work felt somehow dream like. Almost as if it wasn't even her job, like it was something she did just to keep herself busy. She told Ted about how they were going to record on the weekend, and he immediately gave her the weekend off, saying that he could call one of the other employees and have them work. Tegan called Lindsey and told her about what had happened, she could hear her yelling for Emy, and then both of them yelling in excitement. Tegan and Sara couldn't wait for the weekend. They finally curled up together in bed, and slept, peacefully. The worries of the day before completely forgotten in the excitement.