"The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them."
― Ernest Hemingway
Willow is only downstairs for ten minutes, tops, when it happens. Fred is asleep, and she needs a break. She needs to breathe, because the last thing she wants is to think she's mad at Fred, when actually, she's mad at Gunn, even a week later. She's mad at Angel, even though she knows it's not really him.
She's mad at herself.
She grabs a glass from the cupboard and fills it with water, taking a sip. She needs to distract herself. Gunn is long gone now, probably back in LA, telling them all what Angelus really did to Fred. That suits her just fine, because if she ever sees him again, it isn't Buffy he'll have to worry about.
She jumps at the sound of the doorbell, causing some of the water from her cup to slosh onto her jeans. Her heart races as she slowly moves to the door. The thought that Gunn has returned runs through her mind and has her on edge, her hands trembling as she opens the door.
"Willow." Giles stands in front of her, taking her in. He can see she's lost weight, and the bags under her eyes tell him she hasn't been sleeping. He suddenly feels as though he's made a mistake coming here. But then, he thinks, this is something he needs to do. This is life or death.
"Giles." Willow breathes, as if he's not really here, standing in front of her. So many times she thought about picking up the phone and calling him, telling him everything and begging him to tell her what to do, how to help Fred. Now, here he was. She moves to hug him, to feel his arms around her, because as bad as everything gets, Giles is always safe.
"Nice place. Bit of a mess."
Willow steps out of the way just before a girl, around Dawn's age, lets herself in. She's tall, British, and someone Willow definitely hasn't seen before. Then another girl follows. And another. She looks at the girls, making themselves at home.
"Sorry to barge in." Giles' voice brought her back to him. "I'm afraid we have a slight…apocalypse."
As the others pile in, Willow steps into action. She realizes that this can't happen. Fred can barely handle two other people in the house, let alone three. She looks at Giles, torn. She has to get back to Fred, to relieve Buffy watching over her, but she's not about to leave a bunch of strangers alone in the house, Giles or no Giles.
"Willow?" Buffy's voice comes from the top of the stairs. Willow turns to face her. "I think Fred needs you." She sees Giles and ventures down the stairs. "Giles."
Willow's frustration swells, feeling like an invisible pressure building inside her. She wants to scream, to demand answers from both Buffy and Giles, but she knows that won't solve anything. Taking a deep breath, she tries to regain control of her emotions. "I'll be upstairs. We have visitors." She tells Buffy, climbing the stairs and clearing herself from the situation.
As she pushes open her bedroom door and sees Fred curled up under the covers, sobbing quietly with her eyes closed tightly, Willow knows where her priorities lay. Apocalypse or not, Fred's safety and wellbeing is what matters. "Fred. It's okay, sweetie. I'm here."
Fred gasps, her eyes shooting open and darting around the room. She sees Willow, and reaches out for her with trembling hands. She grabs her shirt, trying to find purchase, to ground her back to reality. "W…illow." She sobs. "I…th…ought you le…ft."
Willow climbs into the bed beside Fred, pulling her close. "No, sweetie. I would never do that. I'm here now, okay? It's okay."
Fred clings to Willow's touch, her head resting on her chest as Willow's fingers trace patterns on her back. Is this how it's going to be from now on? Will she ever be able to function without Willow right beside her? This, she thinks, isn't fair to anyone. Not to her, who can't even breathe if Willow isn't holding her. Not to Buffy, who was just trying to help her, but the panic was all-consuming when she woke up and saw that Willow was gone so she damn near bit Buffy's head off. And certainly not to Willow, who just needed a few minutes to herself. Who can blame her? Fred would kill to be normal again.
"They can't stay here." Dawn says, her arms crossed over her chest as she eyes the girls in their living room. "We don't have the room. And what about Fred?"
Buffy exhales, her weariness evident in the heaviness of her sigh. She knows Dawn is right. There's no room for one more guest, let alone thirty. And Fred is barely holding on. Her emotional stability takes precedence over everything, and Willow will certainly not hesitate to walk away if she thinks Fred can't cope. "I know. I'll talk to Giles, okay? You just worry about staying inside after dark and keeping up with your school work. Understand?"
"Can I hang out with Willow and Fred upstairs?"
Buffy thinks about this. When she saw Fred last, she most certainly wasn't up for visitors. She's almost certain Fred doesn't want Dawn to see her like that, but Dawn understands that Fred isn't herself. Still, it's probably better to play it safe. "I could use you down here. Keep an eye on the girls while I talk to Giles? I need to check on Spike in the basement after that, then you can see them, okay?"
As if she wasn't stretched thin enough, Buffy has recently discovered Spike's chip is malfunctioning, being controlled by something and forcing him to kill again. Still, Buffy knows that it's not him - not really - and, despite everyone's protests, she has chained him to a makeshift cot in her basement until she finds out whatever is doing it to him and makes it suffer.
"Promise?"
"I promise, Dawnie." Buffy tells her, watching as she crosses into the living room. Buffy is left alone to regroup for only a few seconds before she feels a hand on her shoulder. She jumps and whirls around, seeing Giles standing in front of her. She still can't handle people touching her, especially when she can't see them coming. It's funny, she thinks, how Spike's touch pales in comparison to everyone else's. How his hands are the only ones she can handle without feeling the need to be sick. Then, she thinks, it explains so much about Fred's attachment to Willow. "Giles. Sorry. It's just been…" She trails off, unable to find the right word. "Angelus is back."
"I know." Giles says, solemn. "That's why I'm here. Buffy, these girls may not be Slayers, but they have it in them. Something big is coming. With the potential to destroy the world. And I have reason to believe Angelus is working with it." He looks at Buffy - really looks at her - and realizes that perhaps Willow isn't the only one who he should be concerned about. "Buffy, what on Earth is going around here?"
"Angel's friends removed his soul. They weren't watching him and one of them got hurt. Willow's been taking care of her, but…Giles, it's bad. Normally, Willow would restore his soul, but we don't even know where he is, and she's been…I can't ask her to do something so magic-heavy. Not now."
Giles doesn't need Buffy to tell him any more. He has read the texts, he has been there through Angelus' reign of terror. While, thankfully, none of them had experienced his true brutality - he had let Jenny off easy by simply killing her - he is well aware of what he's capable of. His heart drops at the thought. "Dear Lord."
"She's barely hanging on, Giles. I don't…we can't help her." Buffy tells him. "You said something is coming. Is it Angelus?"
"No, no. Much worse, I'm afraid." Though, from what Buffy has told him, he's unsure how it can get much worse. "It's The First."
They're all gathered in the living room, because Buffy refuses to let them out of her sight, even for one second.
Willow sits in the armchair, with Fred in her lap, because there are far too many people, even by Buffy's standards, so she can't even imagine how Fred is feeling.
She clings to Willow like a second skin, Buffy notices. She also doesn't miss the looks one of the other girls - she thinks her name might be Kennedy - is giving Willow. She can only hope she won't give Fred any trouble.
"They're all Slayers?" Dawn asks, her voice quiet as she sits on the floor by the chair. Her hand rests on the arm, in case Fred wants to hold it. It happened once. Dawn thinks it was more for her benefit than Fred's, and she almost had a panic attack when their hands touched, but still. Dawn wants to be there.
"Potential Slayers." Giles corrects, removing his glasses. It was bad, Buffy told him, but nothing could have prepared him for what he had seen when Willow came downstairs, practically carrying Fred. "All of them waiting for one to be called."
"You mean for Buffy to die." Dawn says, her voice still as soft, but her eyes blazing. "Right?"
"We won't let that happen, Dawnie." Willow tells her, but even as she squeezes Dawn's hand, she wonders if that's how this will end. These girls, innocent as they may be, are waiting around for the Slayer to die. It happened with Buffy. And Kendra, and Faith. She wonders if the reason so many of them ended up here is because this is The First's plan. To kill Buffy. It's already messing with Spike, they've deduced. What isn't it capable of?
"Well, what about this Angelus guy?" Kennedy asks, and Fred tenses in Willow's arms. "Do we have to worry about him too?" She turns to Giles, her arms crossed over her chest. "Didn't you say they're working together?"
Fred's chest feels heavy as she listens to Giles and Buffy prepare them for whatever they're up against. It hits her, not for the first time, that this is partly her fault. She was there when they took Angel's soul. She was a part of it. And now, she's sitting here, barely functioning as a human, while the others have to fight to clean up the mess she and her friends made. She feels sick at the thought.
"How'd this guy even get out, anyway?" Kennedy asks again, and Fred swears it's like she's looking right through her, judging her. She wants to hide away until this feeling stops, but she doesn't think it ever will.
"Me." Fred manages, clutching onto Willow. "It…was…my…fa…ult." She looks at Buffy, her pain threatening to swallow her whole. "I'm…s…or…ry."
No." Buffy says, her voice soft but determined. "It wasn't your fault, Fred, okay? He had no right…"
Anya, from her spot on the couch beside Xander, raises her hand. "That's not entirely true." She says. "I mean, they did remove his soul. Don't get me wrong, he was way out of line by…"
"Anya." Willow's voice is sharp, laced with an unspoken threat that stops Anya in her tracks.
"I'm just saying, if we wanna place blame.." She mutters. It's not like she means anything by it, but everyone wants answers, and no one is speaking the truth. Everyone's different now, like they're walking on eggshells, and Anya doesn't know how to cope with it.
"An, for the love of God." Xander speaks up. "Stop talking." He looks at Fred apologetically. It's the first time he's seen her since Buffy told him and Anya about Angelus, and the worst case scenario he had planned in his head isn't bad enough for what he's seeing now. It makes him want to find Angelus himself and end the chaos once and for all.
"How do we know it wasn't her fault?" Kennedy asks, eyes blazing. "I mean, if she…"
"It wasn't." Dawn stands and crosses to Kennedy so she's in her face. Kennedy stands too. Neither of them back down.
"Okay." Buffy steps in front of Dawn. "Look, this wasn't anyone's fault, okay? Least of all Fred's. So if you have any questions or concerns, from now on, they go through me. And only me."
Even as Buffy speaks the words, Fred can't shake the nagging feeling set in her bones. The heavy pounding in her chest, that seems to beat with the same two words.
Your fault.
"Dawnie, why don't you go upstairs and get the linens? We need to figure out some sleeping arrangements." Buffy suggests, and Dawn steps away, shooting one last glare at Kennedy.
"We should put her in the basement with Spike."
Buffy sighs, ready to scream. "Dawn." She says, her tone a warning. "Linens."
Dawn goes upstairs, returning a few seconds later with fresh sheets. She hands them to Buffy.
"Annabelle and Molly are in my room." Buffy says, handing both the girls their bedding. She's been sleeping in the basement with Spike since they found out he's been killing people again anyway. May as well put it to use. "Kennedy, you can sleep in Dawn's room."
"No way." Dawn says. "I'm not sleeping with her."
"Okay, then. Annabelle and Molly can sleep in Dawn's room…"
"Bad idea." Kennedy cuts Buffy off. "Annabelle snores. And Molly'll talk her ear off."
Buffy wants to cry. "Do you wanna make the sleeping arrangements?" Her voice comes out harsher than intended, but Kennedy doesn't seem bothered.
"Okay." She looks at Willow, still sitting in the armchair with Fred. "Hope she doesn't hog the covers."
Buffy watches as Willow talks softly to Fred. She shakes her head. "Sorry, Kennedy. Willow's room is off limits."
"Can I sleep in Willow's room?" Dawn asks. It's not like she doesn't end up in there almost every night anyway. It's become a habit for Dawn to take her blanket and pillow and curl up on the floor beside the bed.
"Why don't you ask Willow and Fred, okay?" She suggests, because Buffy doesn't see the harm in letting Dawn sleep somewhere familiar, but it's ultimately up to how Fred will handle it.
"That's not fair." Kennedy says, watching as Dawn joins Willow and Fred. "You said I could pick."
Buffy is about to respond, to tell Kennedy that there are extenuating circumstances, but Giles steps forward, taking charge. Thank God for this man, Buffy thinks to herself.
"This is Buffy's house, so we follow Buffy's rules. Now, Dawn lives here as well, so she gets first choice and she has chosen to sleep in Willow's room. Perhaps you can sleep in Buffy's room, and Molly and Annabelle can take Dawn's." He looks at Buffy, as if he's asking her if this is okay.
"Fine." Kennedy groans, taking the bedding from Buffy and climbing the stairs.
Xander stands, and follows Kennedy. "I'll make sure she gets settled in, Buff." He tells Buffy before following after Kennedy.
Buffy wonders how she's going to make it out of this.
When she was told she has a visitor, Buffy was the last person she expected to see. Especially looking the way she does. Like she hasn't slept in a week and a half. Faith steps forward and takes a seat at the table, picking up the phone. "B. Gotta say, I would've expected a lot of people to come here before you."
"How are you, Faith?" Buffy asks, and she really means it. She's done holding grudges. She's done taking relationships for granted. She knows now, how quickly things can change. How quickly a person's life can be shattered beyond repair.
"Surviving." Faith responds, twirling the phone cord around her finger. "You good, B? You're lookin' a little…sleep-deprived."
"That's putting it lightly." Buffy mumbles, low and resigned. "I need your help."
Faith raises an eyebrow at Buffy. "In case you weren't paying attention, I'm a little locked up right now. Might wanna check back in fifty years or so. You need manpower? Try Angel. I hear he's still fightin' for the good guys."
"He's not." Buffy tells her. Her voice is tense and tight, a wire stretched to its breaking point. Her eyes flicker with rage. She's only mildly surprised that no one let Faith know that two sadistic killers who know where she is and how to get to her are out there. "Faith, Angel's gone. Angelus is back. He's working with The First."
Faith realizes then how serious the situation is. If Buffy is here, reaching out for help, the worst of the worst must have happened. Someone must have… "Who died?"
"No one. Yet. Aside from a bunch of potentials The First took out. But one of Willow's friends was hurt. Bad. And if I know Angelus, which I do, he's waiting to make his move. Planning his next attack. Faith, I've only got one other person that's able to take him down here, and I could really use the muscle when it comes time."
"Step away from the glass." Faith says quietly.
Buffy does. Faith rolls through the window, the noise of the glass shattering catching the guards' attention. Buffy quickly helps Faith to her feet, grabs her hand, and hauls ass.
The guards are after them, but they're out of the building before anyone can stop them. Buffy, not for the first time, is thankful beyond the telling of it for their supernatural speed. As they jump out the window and land on a parked car below, she quickly stands and dusts herself off. "You okay?"
"Five by five." Faith tells her, following Buffy to her car. "So what's the plan here, B? Wait 'til he comes to us? 'Cause, gotta say, in terms of good ideas, that's not one."
"I know." She agrees, sliding into the driver's seat. They should be back by sundown, which means that there's not a chance she's leaving them there to drown. "But right now, it's all we have. Willow is, more or less, still out of commission. Dawn is not getting close enough to even see either one of them, let alone try to fight, and Xander's just not strong enough to make it fair. Anya can't fight either, since she's human now. Giles is back home, in Sunnydale with some of the surviving potentials, but they're not trained enough to fight like this, which leaves me and Spike."
"Spike? Like…Spike?"
"He has a soul now. He's good, Faith."
"Huh." Faith says. "You think you know a guy." She watches a cop car race down the street in front of them. She's sure its for them, but no way is she going back there. Not now. "So this friend of Red's. What do I gotta expect? We talkin' missing limbs, deformities...what?"
"Broken jaw. Sprained wrist, but that should be healed in a few days. Some broken ribs. Bruising everywhere. And I mean everywhere. She can't talk for long periods of time, and she can barely walk." Buffy grips the steering wheel so tight that her knuckles turn white. "She was raped. So touching is pretty much out of the question. She's jumpy, so try to be as quiet as you can, especially when you're in the same room as her, and…"
"Hey, I know the deal, okay?" Faith says, and her voice carries a hint of her own past trauma. "It's not the first time I've…" She trails off. "Let's just say I know what to expect."
Buffy glances at Faith, then focuses on the road in front of her again. She realizes belatedly that, while she knows barely a thing about Faith's past, she knows her home life wasn't great and her father was to blame. Her heart clenches at the thought of Faith having to go through that alone, as a kid, while her mother did nothing to stop it. It explains a lot about her, she thinks, but so little all at the same time. "I'm sorry, Faith. I didn't…"
"Hey, it's cool. I'm over it. I can hold my own now, right? No big."
"It is a big deal. It shouldn't have happened to you and I'm sorry it did." I'm sorry I didn't realize it when you needed me to, she thinks. "If it's too much for you…"
"No." Faith says sharply. "I got it, B. Swear. I'll let you know if things get too hectic."
Buffy hopes she does.
As Faith enters the house, she's struck with a serious case of deja vu. Everything, from the couch to the decor is exactly the same. It makes her feel oddly comforted. "Whoa! Memory lane. Same old house."
"What can I say? I hate change." Buffy quips, her eyes landing on Willow, Fred and Dawn curled up together in the living room, watching a movie. 10 Thing I Hate About You, she deduces quickly, and it suits her just fine that she's missing it because Dawn has made her - and Spike - suffer through the rom-com more times than she can count.
Dawn sits beside Fred, her head lazily resting on her shoulder. Fred is sound asleep, her cheek resting on the crown of Dawn's head. Willow looks like she might be runner-up in the falling asleep category, her arms secure around Fred's waist as the movie plays.
Buffy is reluctant to disturb the scene, their moment of peace amidst the chaos. She trails into the living room, Faith close behind, and Dawn pauses the movie. She stands quickly, jolting Willow awake.
"We have a new houseguest." Buffy tells them.
"Hey." Her voice is softer now, and Buffy doesn't know why she's surprised at the tone. "Got any extra room for a wanted fugitive?"
Willow looks at Buffy, her arms tightening around Fred. Instinctively. Protectively. "Hey, Faith." She greets, but her voice isn't nearly as welcoming as her words.
"Huh. Guess 'wanted' wasn't so accurate."
Dawn looks Faith up and down. She's beyond mad at her still, but somehow not surprised to see her. "Does she have to stay here? 'Cause there's some real nice hotels for tried-to-kill-your-sister types."
"Check it out. Brat's all woman-sized." Faith says, and even though the distrusting looks from both Willow and Dawn make her stomach twist with regret, she's careful to keep her distance.
"Guys." Buffy says, looking between Dawn and Willow. "Faith won't cause any trouble. I need the extra help around here, especially if Angelus and The First make their move."
"Buffy…" Willow starts, looking at Fred. She can't afford to forgive and forget anymore, not while Fred is still barely able to take care of herself. "If she hurts Fred…"
"She won't." Buffy assures Willow, and her voice leaves no room for arguments. "I wouldn't bring her here if I didn't trust her completely, you guys. Okay?"
"Yeah." Willow says, her voice still tinged with caution. "Okay. Welcome back, Faith."
"Fine." Dawn says, unconvinced. She crosses her arms over her chest, glaring at Faith. "But this is my house too. If she hurts anyone…"
Hey, like big sis already said, I'm reformed." Faith tells Dawn, but really, who can blame her for not trusting her after what she did?
"I have to go downstairs to check on Spike." Buffy tells Willow. She doesn't, really. She checked on him before she left, and he was sound asleep. She doubts he's even woken up yet. But he's the only person she can stand to be around right now, as selfish as that may sound. "Keep an eye on things up here?"
"Sure, Buff. Giles is getting the girls set up and Xander and Anya are patrolling, so it's just us. But, we'll shout if we need you."
Buffy shoots Willow a small, thankful smile and crosses to the basement. When she reaches the bottom of the stairs, she sees that Spike has not only woken up, but he's sitting up on the bed, smoking a cigarette. Before she can lecture him about smoking in the house, he puts it out in a nearby dish. From what Buffy can see, he's been using it as an ashtray for a while. "Okay if I join you?"
"Your house, love." He tells her. "Wouldn't get too close, though. Never know these days, right?"
Buffy gently pushes his legs over so she can join him on the bed. "Wrong. I know you'd never hurt me, Spike. I trust you." The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them, but the look on his face tells her it was the right thing to say.
"How's the slumber party?" He asks, shifting on the bed to make more room for Buffy. It's clear she's not going anywhere.
"No one's killed anyone yet." She shrugs, taking off her shoes and laying down beside him. "I'd say that's the best case scenario, given our current situation." Her head falls onto his chest, and she closes her eyes, taking him in.
He slowly reaches out, his fingertips grazing her arm, giving her time to protest. When she just snuggles deeper into him, he wraps his arms around her and pulls her closer. "And what about you, pet?" He whispers into her hair. "You doin' alright?"
The only response he gets is Buffy's slow, even breathing, signaling she has fallen asleep.
When Willow wakes up the next morning, it's not to one of Fred's nightmare, but a shuffling beside the bed. She instinctively pulls Fred closer, then she remembers that Dawn is sleeping in her room with them until the potentials leave. She sees her, just waking up and making herself comfortable on the floor beside them.
"Sorry." Dawn whispers, twisting her hands together in her lap.
"It's fine." Willow whispers, her hand running through Fred's hair. "You okay?"
Dawn nods. "I'm fine." She tells her, but she's not really. She can't stop thinking about everything. How scared they all are. How Angel or Angelus or whatever his name is can get to them whenever he wants with The First, and if they're going to try to kill everyone, why don't they just get it over with already?
She hears Willow shift on the bed and she looks up quick. She doesn't want her to wake Fred up - she needs her sleep - but Fred doesn't move. She thinks Willow must have found a way to move around so that Fred stays asleep. "You can talk to me, you know. I'm still here for you, too."
Dawn sighs. She can't talk to Willow. Not about this, because she's worried Fred will get triggered or something. And Willow gets really angry when someone talks about Angelus now. She tries to hide it when Dawn's around, but she can tell. And how lame is it anyway that she's sitting here scared out of her mind when Fred is the one who got hurt? "I know." That's all she can manage to say.
"Maybe we can watch another movie. Take your mind off things." Willow suggests, reaching out and squeezing Dawn's shoulder with her free hand.
"Really?" Dawn looks up at Willow. "What about Fred? Shouldn't you, like, be with her?"
"I can wake her up. I can't guarantee she'll make it past the opening scene, though. Her meds kinda tucker her out." Willow tells her. "And you should eat something anyway."
Dawn scoffs, and it's almost like it's normal. "So should you." It's one of those moments where they all think that just because she's a kid, she doesn't notice stuff. But she notices. Willow's never out of her room long enough to eat with her and Buffy. And the few times that Dawn has taken food to her, it's gone untouched. Xander told her it's because she's working herself crazy taking care of Fred. Dawn doesn't know why she can't take care of herself too.
"Why don't we see what we can find?" Willow says, gently shaking Fred's shoulder. Fred's eyes shoot open and dart around the room. Dawn wonders how long it's gonna take her to not wake up afraid. "Hey, sweetie." Willow whispers, her hand slowly rubbing her back. "Dawnie and I were gonna watch a movie. Wanna join us?"
Fred just nods, slowly moving off the bed with a lot of help from Willow. She sees Dawn watching her, hesitant. Like she's afraid Fred can't make it through a simple movie without a breakdown. If Fred is being honest, she's scared of that herself.
Still, she reaches her hand out for Dawn's - the hand that's not gripping Willow's shirt tightly so she doesn't fall over - and squeezes. "It's…o…kay, swe…etie."
It's not okay, not when she feels his hand instead of Dawn's. Not when she wants to be sick when she sees his face, ready to finish the job. But it only lasts a few seconds, and then she's back. It's Dawn. It's Dawn. She can do this.
They make it out of the room, as fast as Fred can manage. Fred listens as Dawn tells her about a boy Willow told her she has a crush on, and she appreciates the fact that Dawn is trying. The sense of normalcy is what keeps her going down the stairs and into the kitchen.
Willow guesses everyone else is asleep, because the kitchen is completely empty. She sees Dawn and Fred take a seat at the island, Dawn lazily flipping through an old magazine. "What do you want to eat? Cereal? Pancakes?"
Dawn's head snaps up and she stands. "I can get it." She tells Willow, reaching for two bowls. "You should rest."
"I've rested enough. It's okay, Dawnie." Willow says. She needs something in her life to be normal again. Making breakfast for Dawn while Buffy sleeps - that's doable.
Dawn nods slowly, as if she still doesn't trust that it's really okay. Then she sits back down. "You remind me of Tara." Dawn whispers to Fred so that Willow doesn't hear. The name still pulls at her heart a little, so she doesn't like talking about her all that much. And no one has said her name around Willow since she died.
"Oh." Fred whispers back, watching as Willow pours some cereal into three bowls. "Thanks. I…th…ink." Willow crosses to the fridge for the milk.
"It's a compliment." Dawn assures her. "Willow really likes you, you know. Like she did with Tara."
Fred pauses, unsure of what to say. Did Dawn just unintentionally tell her that Willow is in love with her? It's a revelation that both surprises and resonates with Fred, stirring up memories and emotions she thought she had buried beneath the weight of recent events. She didn't even know she liked women, until she met Willow. Then her heart started doing that weird fluttery, skip-a-beat thing whenever she talked to her, and when she wasn't talking to her, she found herself wishing she was. She found herself wanting to see Willow all the time.
And, Fred thinks, it's a two-way-street because she remembers when they first met and Willow was grieving Buffy's death, it was her that she would call in the middle of the night. Fred would listen to Willow grieve over Buffy, and Willow would simultaneously help Fred stop thinking about Pylea.
Then she got to know Charles and, while it wasn't the same feeling as she got around Willow - that all-encompassing feeling of safety and familiarity - it was something different. But, Fred thinks, it certainly wasn't the best.
Fred watches as Willow continues making their breakfast. "I, um…" She stumbles over her words, and not just because of her jaw.
"I'm glad you're here." Dawn says, oblivious to the fact that she has just turned all of Fred's perceived feelings on their head.