.
The tinge of my eyes is familiar
.

When Quinn pulls up to Rachel's house on Friday, Santana and Brittany are already squeezed into the backseat, holding hands and whispering and giggling. Quinn would be irritated to be the chauffer that they aren't even talking to if she wasn't so used to it, and a glance in her rearview mirror shows Santana wearing a face-splitting smile as she regards Brittany, which softens Quinn's own expression.

She's about to get out of the car to ring Rachel's doorbell when the front door opens and Rachel comes walking briskly out. Quinn stares, and momentarily realizes she's not the only one when the whispers in the backseat cease.

She's wearing a tight black strapless dress that stops at mid-thigh and two-inch heels, while carrying a little black clutch. A wispy, short-sleeved black cardigan completes the look, but Quinn knows the cardigan won't stay on long with the hot throngs of people at Puck's. Quinn feels underdressed, but at least she's wearing a dress (a pale pink knee-length one that ties around the waist); Santana and Brittany are in a short-sleeved button down and jeans, and a v-neck, jean shorts and suspenders, respectively.

Rachel opens the passenger door and smiles widely at Quinn, "Hello, Quinn, Santana, Brittany."

"Damn, Berry," Santana drawls, "Showing Finnept what he'll be missing?"

Rachel purses her lips and ducks her head, while Brittany says quizzically, "Rachel, I think your legs might be the same length as mine, which is confusing because you're like, tiny. Oh, you're like, the opposite of those miniature horses."

Quinn puts the car into drive and tries to swallow the lump in her throat. "You do look nice, Rach. You're definitely going to turn heads." Rachel murmurs her thanks, her head still ducked, and Quinn pulls away from the curb slowly. On the drive to Puck's both hands never leave the wheel and she drives exactly the speed limit, but her mind is racing. Little Black Dress could mean spiting one's ex, sure, or winning him back. It's been an irrational terror in the back of her mind since Rachel decided to go to the party. They were finished…right?

.
I know this goddamn life too well
.

It's about an hour into the party, and Rachel has definitely been turning heads. In fact, as soon as she had arrived, she had garnered a lewd comment from Puck, which had earned him a slap on the arm and a laugh. Quinn sips on her Sprite and surveys the room, Sam having just excused himself from their conversation. The guests consist of the Glee club as well as some of the football players, basketball players and cheerleaders, but Quinn finds it funny that even after graduation, everyone pretty much stays in their cliques.

She's been mostly keeping an eye on Rachel, due to the obvious interest in her appearance, though she is looking after Brittany and Santana, too; the latter two are currently wrapped up in each other on an armchair, kissing languidly. She's also been occasionally getting visual confirmation of the other women in Glee club who are in attendance. At this moment, Rachel, who has most recently been catching up with Mercedes and Tina, catches her eye and grins, walking over to her. Quinn arches an eyebrow as Rachel wobbles slightly, "Are you sure those heels are going to be a good idea in another, oh, twenty minutes?"

Rachel chuckles and hands Quinn her drink, then rests a hand on Quinn's shoulder to pull the heels off, "I think you may be right, Quinn, though they do make my legs look amazing." Quinn makes a noise of agreement that sounds like a "heh" that got caught in the back of her throat, but doesn't actually say anything. She then smiles and hands Rachel her drink back once she's set her shoes aside.

"So what is your reason for refraining from drinking at Noah's?" Rachel asks, bluntly.

Quinn can't conceal her surprise, and the eyebrow bounces up again. "I'd think that would be obvious."

Rachel frowns, "You're afraid you'll become intoxicated and engage in unprotected sex with Noah again? I doubt either of you would let that happen."

Quinn shakes her head, "No. I know for a fact that I will never sleep with Puck again, drunk or no." Rachel's expression shifts into something between surprise and confusion, but Quinn continues on the original topic, "I do it so I can keep an eye on people I care about. Puck's parties are infamous for hookups, moreso than anyone else's. I just don't want anyone I know to make the kind of mistake I did—even if I don't think Puck could ever make that mistake again, considering he got snipped and is also, I think, more careful in general, some other guy and some other girl might."

"It's very noble of you," Rachel says, warmly, leaning into her. Quinn chuckles. Rachel continues on somewhat blithely, "I wonder if it's also because you don't enjoy yourself when you drink. Finn says you're a rather angry drunk."

Quinn scowls, "That is…ugh. Fine, occasionally, probably, that may be true. But why Finn felt the need to share this with you, I can't imagine."

That's when Rachel frowns, "Oh. Well, actually, I guess he was trying to make the point that I was an annoying, needy drunk," she says quietly, leaning into Quinn a little more. Quinn automatically slips an arm around her to steady her. "Which may explain why I have been invading your personal space without any particular intention to do so, Quinn, I do apologize."

"Don't apologize," Quinn says firmly, "This is neither annoying nor needy," She smiles down at Rachel, but internally, she's still angry at Finn's words. What gave him the right to call her that? To call either of them what he did? Quinn fumbles, "If anything, I'd say you're more of an affectionate drunk, and that's certainly not a bad thing."

"Well, I suppose it could be if said affectionee did not wish to receive it."

"Is that even a word?" Quinn chuckles. "Besides, you can't be very drunk yet."

"No," Rachel agrees, "I'm not. I guess it doesn't take much for me to get affectionate, or clingy, depending on who you ask."

Quinn forces a smile, realizing she's put herself into the affectionate camp already, which means she is an "affectionee" that does wish to receive Rachel's affection. Which…well, aside from making her head hurt, is hard to explain. "And for you to lose your filter, or what amounts to your filter, anyway" she grins, downing her Sprite. "I'm going to get more soda. Do you want another drink? You're getting low."

"Please! Vodka cranberry?" Rachel requests, beaming.

Quinn smiles indulgently, "Alright, but next you're drinking a water," she points a parental finger at her, then takes Rachel's cup and walks toward the kitchen.

Rachel watches Quinn go and then turns to see Kurt looking at her. Their eyes meet and he gives her a small smile, which she takes as the invitation it is and approaches him. Her eyes dart around automatically for Blaine, and spot him a few feet away, talking animatedly with Sam and Artie, while Mercedes looks on with a slightly horrified expression.

"Hello, Kurt," she says softly.

Kurt smiles again, but it doesn't quite reach his eyes, "Hello, Rachel. I…well." He rubs at the wrist of the hand that is holding his drink. "I'm sorry that things are weird," he says quietly.

"Me, too." It's all she can think of to say.

Kurt takes a deep breath, "Alright. Yes. I'm jealous you got into NYADA and I didn't. And I don't think it's at all fair that you choked on your first audition but then got to have a second one by badgering the hell out of Carmen Tibideaux. And right, maybe I should have done something different with my application, I could've put my time on the football team and the Cheerios on there, but I was too afraid the fact that I wasn't on those teams long would make me look like a quitter. But still. I'm jealous and a little angry."

"I understand," Rachel says, her voice low, as she tries to mask her hurt, "I was, frankly, shocked. Your audition was brilliant."

Kurt smiles faintly at this, and it does reach his eyes. "I know," he says, without a hint of false modesty. At this moment, Quinn comes by with Rachel's drink. She senses the awkwardness immediately and meets Rachel's eye with obvious concern. Rachel smiles reassuringly and Quinn returns the smile, squeezing Rachel's shoulder. She then turns to Kurt and gives him a very…sisterly smile, are the only words Rachel can think of to describe it, and Kurt returns it with that same undertone of familiarity. Quinn's hand moves to squeeze his shoulder, and she wanders off.

Eyes shifting back to Rachel, Kurt sighs again, "And the fact that your engagement is off…I know you must understand it puts me in a weird place. You…you know I never really chose sides, don't you?"

Rachel shakes her head quickly, "No, no, I do understand, Kurt. Finn needed you more than I did. He's your brother."

Her use of past tense doesn't escape his notice, but he doesn't comment on it. "Yes, he is. My idiot brother who I am terrified is going to go and get himself blown up." Kurt's eyes become distant.

"I'm scared of that, too," Rachel says, which is the only thing she can think of to say again. Talking to Kurt hasn't been this disorienting for at least a year now.

"Carole is freaking out," Kurt confides quietly, "and of course my dad has Washington coming up, so we're all kind of freaking out about that, too. It's a mess. A hot, gay mess. It's just…my family needs me right now, Rachel."

Rachel nods dumbly, keeping her expression tender and understanding, but she's not quite sure what Kurt's getting at.

"So. I want you to know that we're still friends. You're still one of my best friends, in fact. I'm just not going to be able to act like it anytime soon. I barely have time for Blaine. And I'm sad to say I've been neglecting Mercedes, too. But it's also probably a good thing, because I may still need time to stop being so flamingly jealous of you. But we'll get there, Rachel. I still love you."

Her smile threatens to halve her face, but she can't stop her eyes from tearing up. Kurt's eyes are threatening the same, and he shakes his head. "None of that. Our mascara will run."

"I'm going to hug you now," she murmurs, and he actually titters and opens his arms.

Quinn stands next to Santana and Brittany's armchair, though the two are still pretty well wrapped up in each other and haven't done much more than greet her with grunts—at least, she thinks those were greetings—since she came over to them. So she watches Rachel's exchange with Kurt, attempting to sooth the worry in her gut that rose when she saw their troubled expressions and hasn't quite gone away, even with their assurances. She barely notices when Brittany and Santana get up to get more drinks and possibly to pay a visit to the laundry room (she dimly registers Brittany mentioning the "vibrating dryer.")

A "Sup, baby mama" interrupts her blatant staring and she turns and gives Puck a tight smile. "Hi, Puck."

He smiles genuinely, an expression so unusual on his perpetually smirking face that Quinn is momentarily taken aback, and the twisting in her gut returns. She gropes for something to say. "So why is it this party is like a month early? It's not like you've ever needed an excuse to throw one before."

"Ah, that." Puck's grin turns slightly sheepish, "Well, it's a party for me and Finn both, actually."

Quinn's mouth drops open, "Tell me you are not a big enough moron to join the army, Puckerman!" she pokes his chest hard with a finger.

Puck holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender, "Hold up, Q. No way. I wouldn't last a week, the Puckasaurus doesn't take kindly to anyone telling him what to do…unless they're wearing a corset and holding a cat-o-nine tails, of course."

Quinn rubs at her face, fully aware that she's blushing, and rolls her eyes, "Then what the hell?" she cuts to the chase, her HBIC voice making a cameo.

Rolling his shoulders, Puck says, "Well, we've been neglecting our friendship for years now. There was that whole me knocking you up thing, and letting Rachel cheat on him with me, and then he's been so wrapped up in that engagement, that we just haven't hung out. We need to rekindle our bromance."

Wrinkling her nose, Quinn mutters, "Ew."

Puck snorts, then continues, "So we're gonna take a road trip out to California together. And I'm gonna see if there's anything out there that makes me want to stay."

"What?!" Quinn grabs Puck by the ear and drags him a few feet away, just because she can, "Again, I ask, are you a moron?! You can't just up and move across the country like that!"

"Chill out!" He rubs his ear, "S'not like there's much tying me here."

Quinn rolls her eyes, "Right, it's not like you mom and sister live here. Not like your mom works insane hours, like right freaking now, and occasionally needs some help with your sister."

"I've just gotta do this, okay? Find out. Make sure. I'll probably be back in Lima before the end of July."

"Right," Quinn concedes, forcing herself to calm down. "You're right. It's irrational, really. I guess I just felt like with me and you both leaving, no one will be nearby if Beth needs us. For whatever reason."

Puck nods, then hesitates, "That's the only reason?" he asks, with a hint of skepticism in his voice, and Quinn's stomach drops. It's in this moment that she regrets ever telling him she loved him. It had seemed exactly the right thing to do at the time; if there was anything McKinley High School had taught her, it was how to manipulate, and she knew just how to manipulate a guy like Puck to boost his confidence. But she hadn't been lying to Rachel when she'd told her that ship had long since sailed (if it had even left the port), though she had to admit the idea had been inspired by Rachel. She thought Rachel was absolutely wrong, of course, because she hadn't been able to see the inside of her quasi-relationship with Puck, with all the bullshit he put her through after knocking her up, no less. Quinn personally thought he had been at his best with Lauren Zizes, who simply did not take Puck's shit—something Quinn assumes she might have done herself had she cared and had her life not been in a spiral every time she and Puck danced around the concept of a relationship.

There is also a part of her that's irritated that Puck hadn't been able to, in retrospect, figure out that she was lying. For the love of God, she had told him she'd fallen in love with him because he had been a good football player. Anyone could see that she was in Cheerios for the sport and status, not because she gave a damn about football. He really was a moron sometimes.

So she just regards him gravely and says, "Yeah, Puck. That's all. Look, you'll always have a piece of my heart, but that's because Beth will always have a piece of my heart, and she is half you. We'll always be bonded together, and I'll always care about you." That part she had told him was the absolute truth; she knew they were bonded for life, and had no desire to change that. "But that's it. We're friends. In some ways, the closest friends either of us will ever have." He nods thoughtfully, his eyes shooting away. She knows he's no longer in love with her, but hearing her tell him she's not in love with him still must be a blow to his ego. So she grins and goes on, "So that's why you're always going to tell me exactly where you are in the world. Daily texts on this roadtrip, Puckerman. Daily."

This time he does smirk, and Quinn is relieved. "Alright, baby mama. I guess you looking over my shoulder all my life won't cramp my style too much. But just know that if you remain on the top of my text or call lists, you're gonna be the one to get my drunk dials."

An honest-to-God snort escapes her, and she covers her nose in embarrassment. "I look forward to it."

Giving her shoulder a playful nudge, Puck wanders over to the stereo and turns it down, then hollers, "HUDSON! Get your ass in here so I can make a toast!"

Everyone cheers at this, and Finn comes loping into the living room from the kitchen, where he'd been playing drinking games with the football and basketball team for most of the night (Quinn suspects that he's been avoiding the Glee club congregated in the living room, which obviously contains Rachel). His cheeks are flushed and he's grinning, and he slaps Puck on the back, hard, when he sidles up next to him. Puck responds by punching his shoulder just as hard, and Finn slops a bit of beer out of his cup. The two boys lock eyes and then laugh.

Puck grins broadly and raises his own Solo cup, with enough force that he loses some of his own beer. "The man of the hour, Private Finn Hudson!" he shouts, "A braver man than me, that's for sure!"

There are cheers, and everyone drinks. Quinn's eyes dart around, suddenly realizing how distracted she had gotten. She's sees Tina leaning into Mike and laughing, Sugar pouring some beer down Artie's throat, she even sees a few people she hadn't realized were there; Lauren Zizes is leaning against the wall with her arms folded and her trademark smirk directed at Puck, Karofsky stands with his hands in his pockets just beside a crowd of football players, and Quinn doesn't miss the fact that his eyes are trained on Kurt instead of on Puck and Finn, and even Becky is there, holding a deck of cards in her small hands and eyeing Puck in a predatory way that makes Quinn almost worried for him. She glances around more. Brittany and Santana are close behind her; Brittany's head is tilted in that disapproving way she mastered early on as a Cheerio as she regards the boys, and Santana wears a self-satisfied smirk, her arm around Brittany. Mercedes is just past them, leaning slightly into Sam, who is watching Mercedes's ex-boyfriend instead of the boys. And there is Rachel, just next to Mercedes. Quinn makes a beeline for her and stands next to her. Rachel gives her a slight smile and leans into her, and just like before, Quinn's arm wraps around her automatically. Mercedes sees her approach and gives her a genuine, if slightly inebriated, smile, before jerking her head toward Puck and Finn and muttering, "How did these two idiots ever graduate?"

Quinn fights a laugh and says, "I hear it was by the skin of their teeth."

"Be nice," Rachel chastises lightly, wrapping her own arm around Quinn to squeeze her to emphasize her point, and Mercedes smirks at Quinn and they both roll their eyes and giggle.

Puck holds up his cup again and the cheers die down, "Now's the time to admit that this is kinda a party for me, too. Me and Finn are gonna head out to California for a road trip before he goes off to boot camp. So maybe I'll see you guys later this summer, but maybe not. Either way, stay hot, McKinley girls!" Rachel can't help but laugh at this, and gazes fondly at Puck. She did always have a soft spot for her fellow Jew.

Everyone cheers again, and Puck and Finn are encased in a mass of men, all back-slapping and howling a mixture of laughter and, for the drunkest among them, tears at the prospect of their upcoming adventure. As Sam leaves Mercedes's side, with a kiss to her temple, to go offer his own well-wishes, Mercedes turns back to Quinn and Rachel, "Alright, I know they say they're best friends, but I really think they're gonna kill each other before they get to Cali."

"Puck says they're rekindling their bromance," Quinn responds, with obvious mockery in her voice. Rachel and Mercedes both laugh.

Her chuckles trailing off, Rachel offers, "While I admire their desire to reconnect as friends, I must admit Mercedes may have a valid concern. They're both such sweet boys" (at this, Mercedes and Quinn trade half-amused, half-incredulous looks) "but they have a lot of growing up to do. I hope the hardships of their travels will bring them home mature men, worthy of the affections of good women." She looks up at Quinn with a bright smile that makes Quinn's heart somehow both sink to her stomach and rise to her throat simultaneously, then nestles her head on Quinn's shoulder. Mercedes's half-amused, half-incredulous look returns, but this time, Quinn can't offer her own.

Puck has made his way out of the crowd of overly-excited teenage boys, which seems to be dispersing, and someone has turned the stereo back up. He grins at Rachel, and shoves his hands in his pockets, "Hey there, second hottest Jew in the building!"

Rachel snorts, "I think I'd like to contest the 'second' part," she says as she regards Puck's casual appearance—torn jeans and a thin wife beater, "Objectively, I think I qualify as hotter than you tonight." Mercedes nods and "mm-hmm!"s her agreement at this, but Quinn stays quiet.

"Ouch! Burn, hot Jew," Puck holds his hands up to his heart. His expression sobers. "Hudson's waiting for you, out back. Will you go talk to him?"

Quinn sees the trepidation flash across Rachel's face and finds her arm holding her tighter. Then Rachel takes a deep breath and composes herself. "Okay," she says quietly, and her arm slips from around Quinn and Quinn is forced to release her. Puck pulls Rachel into a hug, and Quinn hears Rachel murmur, "Thank you, Noah," into his shoulder, before she shoots a forced smile at Quinn and Mercedes and wanders off. Puck lifts a hand in a small wave and wanders off himself, but Quinn is watching Rachel make her way through the crowd.

"Well, here's hoping they're able to move on from all the crap they've put each other through," Mercedes grumbles, and Quinn's stare shifts to Mercedes. But before she can ask what that means, Mercedes is smiling a goodbye and meeting Sam halfway as he approaches her with a fresh drink.

Quinn finds herself wandering Puck's house, completely distracted, after Rachel has gone outside. She's fighting with herself to not watch Rachel and Finn in the backyard. Thankfully, part of her temptation is quashed when Puck's sister Sarah's room is locked—which she remembers is the general rule for Puck parties, no hooking up in Sarah's room, and is hopefully locked as a precaution. His room is fair game, and his mother's room is available for those brave enough to not get completely creeped out by it. Most people use the nooks and crannies in the basement that's half storage and half what had been Puck's Nana's living quarters for the last years of her life when she hadn't been able to live alone, still preserved out of misery (most people are squicked out enough to avoid the old woman's bed, though), or the laundry room, as Brittany and Santana no doubt had done earlier in the evening.

She wants to try the door to Puck's room to try to see out back, but forces herself not to. So she paces. She back to the living room and watches Artie perform along to a Cure song—it's not karaoke, but Artie manages to make himself heard while still channeling Robert Smith—while Mike dances. She's struck again by the power behind Artie's vocals and remembers something Tina had said once—if Artie had been able-bodied, he'd definitely be the male lead. Quinn feels a flash of hurt and anger on his behalf, and sudden bitter, disgusted thoughts cross her mind as she remembers Finn's flailing dancing and the way his voice (and face) would strain on either end of his limited range. She shakes her head, she doesn't want to hate Finn. She doesn't hate him. He's just frustrating, but then, he is a young male.

She approaches Brittany and Santana, who are laughing with Tina and Mercedes; those two have apparently had enough to drink that they are hanging on each other, much like they did at Rachel's party. She glances over; Puck and Sam seem to be having a very serious, hushed conversation together, which is just weird. She sees Kurt watching them, too, and he meets her eye and quirks an eyebrow when he sees she's noticed. She quirks one right back and shrugs. Damned if she knows what they're talking about.

She turns back to the laughing girls and sees Brittany watching her. Brittany's brow knits in concern, "Q, you look like Sophomore year," she states. This time both Quinn's eyebrows rise, and the other girls look at her.

"She means you look sad as fuck," Santana supplies, "Um, right, B? Cause Q sure doesn't look preggers to me."

Brittany nods fervently, and Tina, a little too drunk to keep the smile off her face and out of her voice, says, "What's eating you, Quinn?"

Quinn looks away from all of their concerned gazes and feels herself flushing. She's never known how to deal with this kind of attention. "I dunno. Just not feeling well, I guess."

Mercedes reaches over to feel her forehead and she closes her eyes and lets her, reflecting that Mercedes might be the only person she would allow this kind of attention from. She'd seen her at her very worst, after all, and had been part-caretaker, mostly-friend when Quinn had lived with her. "You're a lil' warm," Mercedes assesses, though her glassy eyes make Quinn doubt any diagnosis she could give at that moment.

But she smiles her thanks, "I think I'm okay, Mercedes. Really. Thanks."

Tina's attention has returned to the impromptu performance, and she grabs Mercedes to point out Mike's moves. She pats Quinn's arm, "I hope you feel better," she says as sincerely as she can with her level of intoxication, and drags Mercedes over to watch.

Following Tina's trajectory, Brittany's eyes light up and she kisses Santana swiftly and speeds over to join Mike. Santana watches her go with a smile and then turns to Quinn, "Seriously, Q, I don't know what's got you down, but if you want to leave, I'm good, I gots my fuck on already. I'm sure Britts wouldn't have a problem. Berry, either, though she'll probably like shove ibuprofen down your throat or something."

Quinn swallows, "Yeah. I don't know. I don't want to ruin your guys' time. I'll go see if I can find Rachel, see how she's doing."

Santana barely seems to hear her, and a glance tells Quinn that it's because Brittany has just stripped off her shirt. A whoop issues loudly from Santana, who then starts shouting proudly, "That's my girl! Go, Britts! Fucking hot, baby!"

Moving through the cluster of people watching the mini-Glee performance (Blaine has joined Artie to harmonize on the vocals, and they're managing to drown out The Killers on stereo pretty well together) Quinn heads for the mudroom that leads to the back door. She peers out and her stomach sinks so hard she really does think she might get sick.

Rachel and Finn are hugging, but it does not look like a friendly hug. He's holding her so tightly that her feet don't even seem to be touching the ground, and all she can see is Finn's face, which wears such a relieved smile…

Quinn feels like she's choking, and at that moment, the entire house seems too small. She's occasionally claustrophobic, but it's been awhile since she had such an attack—since the Nationals trip to New York, probably, when she tried to cope by hiding in her, Santana and Brittany's bathroom—which, not surprisingly, didn't work well because it was small, but she hadn't wanted anyone to see her break down. Of course, it hadn't only been claustrophobia that had forced her to hide, but it often struck when she was already emotionally vulnerable. And before that, it was probably when she was living with Puck, trying to share his bedroom while she felt herself growing larger and larger and everything around her began to feel smaller and smaller—this was part of why she'd spent so many sleepless nights in the living room. Quinn again tries to cope by hiding, this time in the small half-bath near the back door. She clutches the sink, her hands shaking, and tries to breathe normally, closing her eyes and imagining open spaces, visualizing clean air entering her lungs. At least with the mirror the room doesn't feel as small as it really is when she experimentally opens her eyes a few times. Through the door, she can hear what sounds like the entire Glee club join in on the song, bringing in a ton of raucous harmony, and she stays concentrating on her breathing until she can hear Artie and Blaine finishing off the song with, "If you can hold on, if you can hold on…"

It's counterproductive, being as proud as she is and trying to deal with this. But groups of people definitely make the situation worse and she would have to push through them to get outside unless she wanted to interrupt Rachel and Finn's moment. She breathes through her nose as deeply as she can, and gradually begins to calm down, but the desire to leave is stronger than ever. At least now she thinks she can face the crowd.

She leaves the bathroom after several minutes and pushes back through to Santana, who is kissing a topless Brittany deeply and running her hands over the exposed skin. Feeling rude, Quinn approaches and stands there awkwardly without looking at them for a few moments until Santana detaches her mouth enough to mutter, "What, Fabgay?"

Brittany turns her head to shoot a warm, happy-drunk smile at Quinn then, not seeming at all upset at being interrupted. "Oh, sorry, were you trying to watch our lady kisses? I know we're really hot," and starts to lean back in.

"I just wanted to let you guys know that I couldn't find Rachel, but I need some air. I'm going to head out front. If you find Rachel and you guys are ready to leave, come find me outside." Quinn says tonelessly.

Santana rolls her eyes, "Whatever, Q, next time you want to watch us for pointers, all you have to do is ask."

When Quinn sighs in frustration, Brittany says, "We'll look for Rachel, Quinn. Don't worry. I'm sorry you feel so Sophomore. We'll leave soon, I promise."

Nodding, even though they can't see her with their lips re-adhered, Quinn heads outside. She does feel better as soon as the balmy summer air hits her face and her lungs. She thinks back to what Mercedes had said. Rachel had been talking to Mercedes a lot that night. Maybe she's told Mercedes she was hoping to win Finn back? But Quinn had thought it might mean that maybe Rachel and Finn would finally move on from each other. But she hadn't been sure, and the fear that had been gnawing at her told her it probably meant something else. And now here was proof, the two ex-fiancés hugging, and Finn wearing that relieved, overjoyed expression…

In the twenty minutes it takes for Santana, Brittany and Rachel to leave the party, Quinn has had to find something else to do aside from pacing Puck's front yard. She's been bored enough to automatically start weeding the front flower bed, something she had done a lot as a child when her parents kept care of the garden themselves, before they began hiring a gardener and landscaper. She's pulling weeds out from around the Puckerman mailbox when the door opens, and Rachel hurries to her, seeming to have sobered a bit out of concern, "Quinn, I apologize profusely. They only just found me. They said you weren't feeling well, and I'm so sorry you had to wait for me!"

Straightening, Quinn just shakes her head and mutters, "It's not your fault," refusing to meet Rachel's eyes. She brushes the dirt off her hands and registers that Rachel is reaching out to brush her hair out of her eyes, so she pretends not to see and turns around to unlock the car. The drive back is mostly silent. Santana and Brittany snuggle contently, though she catches both their concerned gazes in her rearview mirror occasionally, and Rachel's eyes burn into her from the passenger's seat. It makes her feel claustrophobic again, so she drops them off without saying much other than, "I'm fine, have a good night."

A/N: Chapter titles from Purity Ring, "Ungirthed" and Janis Joplin with Big Brother and the Holding Company's "Turtle Blues." I've discovered a lot of new music through the Faberry fandom, and will gladly credit those I remember the source of. So I would like to thank thememoriesfire for introducing me to Purity Ring through the masterpiece that is "These Strange Steps." Their debut album is the best I've heard in awhile. Other song mentioned is The Killers, "All These Things That I've Done."