Chapter Forty - Occlumency

The following weeks Harry was working hard on his occlumency lessons. In the summer holiday Sirius had made a start, focussing on learning Harry how to meditate. Snape had taken over since Hogwarts started and took on a different method. It hurt going through all his memories over and over again, but with Sirius' meditating basics and Snape teaching him the practical side, he had gotten a lot better throughout the weeks. A maze within an imaginary forest had started to build in Harry's mind and sometimes, only sometimes, even Snape could not get through it.

Unfortunately, tonight was not one of those nights. Snape had been attempting to examine the dark corridors and the closed door that haunted Harry's dreams. Unexplainable shivers ran through him whenever he was forced to look at the door, an unshakeable sense of dread enveloping his being. All Harry knew, was that he did not want to know what was behind it. Yet, in his nightmares, he was relentlessly pushed towards it, haunted by whispers urging him to open it.

Snape had eventually moved on and delved deeper into Harry's memories, finding those that Harry had worked so hard on to bury and forget. He had pushed them far to the back of his mind, and while he had talked about it with Sirius over the summer once, he still felt no relief. The pain was still too sharp, and even though he could now view them from a more detached perspective, it didn't make them any less agonising.

Snape had understood the moment he had picked up on the memory and stopped the legilimence, but the damage had been done. Harry has a faint recollection of Snape administering multiple relaxation potions to him, however, his memory of the specific details was hazy at best. The potions seemed to have had an effect on him, leaving him in a state of blurred recollection and limited awareness, as he passed out not long after.

Harry woke in an unknown bed and sore muscles, the physical toll becoming more evident as he tried to move, feeling the discomfort and stiffness in his body. His sleep had been dreamless, but the moment he woke up, his memories were still as clear as day. After a couple of minutes of trying to centre himself he heard Snape's soft voice "lay down Mr. Potter, just for once, don't you make a habit of this now." He knew the memories were not new, that they would not happen again, that he had a family now and friends that took care of him. Harry focussed on his breath and tried to relax his muscles. He was here, he was safe and loved.

As Harry's thoughts began to settle, he instinctively reached for a glass of water that stood on the bedside table, seeking peace in its refreshing coolness. Wait, hold on... This was Snape's personal quarter? Why on earth were there flowers and pillows, and …. oh my goodness, there was a terrarium! He had learnt Snape was not the terrible person from the previous school years, but never in his wildest dreams would Harry have imagined Snape having a pet. A smile crossed his face again as he found himself enjoying the cold glass of water on a surprisingly, or perhaps not surprising anymore, soft couch. Harry continued to gaze around the room, lost in his thoughts, yet unable to discern any specific thought process. In that moment, he simply existed.

The creek of a door shook Harry to the present as he saw a stunned Draco in the doorway. Flashbacks from the last evenings at Hogwarts came back, and the quiet, peaceful feeling he had experienced. Why Draco was once again awake he did not entirely know, nor was he sure Draco would be accepting of him in this vulnerable state within his Godfather's chambers. Still, Draco was here, and he couldn't help but feel surge of warmth going through him. And so, Harry grabbed on to those thoughts, actually feeling a little relieved. It must have shown on his face as Draco then decided that he could enter the room. Both of them being in Snape's private chambers felt even more strange then him sitting there alone, but Draco shook away his first shock quickly and immediately elegantly set himself down next to Harry, clearly claiming three quarters of the couch as his own. It actually made Harry smile slightly, feeling warmth inside him because of the simple gesture and the meaning behind it. This night was to continue here, instead of at the lake, in Snape's sitting room, with surprisingly many cushions and a comfortable fire.

If Snape had put him in his spare bed and left him there to rest, it meant Snape had gone soft. Thus, Harry could afford to stay here for the night. And perhaps leave some extra tea.

Strangely enough, the next time Harry found himself being led to Snapes' personal quarters after an exhausting occlumency lesson, Harry found Malfoy already in the sitting room, claiming the couch completely for himself. Honestly, he had never seen him so comfortable, so relaxed. Draco was spread out comfortably with a hand under his head, staring at the painting of a snake and a kitten playing with each other. His feet were leaning on the other side of the couch, while he was hugging a pillow with his other arm. A small smile lay easily on his face. It was beautiful.

Harry quickly shook his thoughts away as he realised what he was thinking about. He moved away from the doorpost and took a seat in the big leather arm chair, with, once again, a surprising amount of cushions for a place where Snape lived. Getting comfortable himself, his eyes followed Draco's gaze, as the white kitten was now being tickled by the snake in its ear while the kitten could not find the tickling origin. Looking back at Draco he saw that he was back to his masked emotional shield, but still laying comfortably on the couch. Harry could almost forgive him for stealing the whole couch for himself, the git.

"Severus would not be happy to find you not sleeping during the nights. It is not good for your healing process you know." Draco's monotome words interrupted his thoughts.

"I didn't know you cared, how kind of you to be so concerned about my wellbeing, Malfoy," he replied quickly, tone emphasising the Malfoy.

"Tsk tsk. You wish, Potter. Unfortunately for me, Severus would be extremely annoyed, which is something extremely annoying to deal with, you know."

Harry actually had to laugh out loud for that one and saw Draco raising a surprised eyebrow "I really do know how difficult Snape is to cope with when he is annoyed, or have you suddenly forgotten every single potions class we have shared the last four years?"

Draco actually huffed, HUFFED, at that one before he reacted "No I have not, how could I? My most beautiful memories are you blowing up your cauldron and Severus deducting points from Gryffindor house. The everyday setting of beautiful dreams."

"Haha very funny. While I would like to keep Snape from getting annoyed, it is the only Snape I know, and frankly I don't care about your dealings with Snape. So I think I will stay in this extremely comfortable chair with an insane amount of pillows, thank you very much."

Draco snorted and a corner of his mouth itched upwards "Sev really does have a surpising amount of pillows in his house doesn't he? It has always been a strange strange obsession or something. Who knows what he is compensating for… So don't you dare say anything to Sev about this."

Harry laughed out loud, slowly raised his hands in faint surrender and said "Sir yes sir."

This time Draco smirked and nodded to him. "At ease soldier," he said in a stern voice, and went to lay back on the couch, smiling softly.

As Harry watched him a few moments more, he felt more content than he had felt since he stepped onto the Hogwarts Express back at home. They talked a bit more that night, drank tea, had Dobby bring them some strawberries with chocolate, and Harry let Draco gossip about Blaise's many love relations. Draco had fallen asleep somewhere in Harry's story about Luna's travels to Norway. Slowly he closed his eyes and enjoyed the peace and quiet. Before falling asleep to dream of the dark corridors and demanding door once again.