Monday 2/6

It was 7pm and Liv was sitting at her desk reading through an email from McGrath for the sixth time and still not believing it and feeling her migraine steadily increasing in strength behind her left eye, when there was a knock at her office door. She gripped the edge of the desk and thought, "If this is McGrath, I swear, only one of us is making it out alive." Then she took three slow steadying breaths, stood, straightened her jacket and walked over and unlocked the door.

"Hi." The shy voice said. "Is it ok that I'm here?"

"Of course, come in." Liv said holding open the door feeling shocked. "Are you ok?" Liv's voice changed as she asked this in her listening voice that she'd learned from observing trauma counselors.

A small smile crossed Lizzie's face as she thought about how comforting it must be to be able to have someone like Liv in your corner at the worst moment of your life. Then she realized, she always had and smiled a little more. "Yes. Well, no, but not in that way. I mean…." Lizzie stopped to gather her thoughts.

Liv shut the door and picked up 2 bottles of water from the mini fridge in her office and then indicated the couch. "Lizzie, what is it?" she asked very softly, knowing this young woman's demeanor and bearing nearly as well as Noah's.

"It's Dad. You and Dad." She paused and then added almost as an afterthought, "and Mom."

Liv nodded but didn't say anything, she'd been expecting questions like this from Lizzie, Maureen and Eli and figured it was best to let her say her peace first.

"My god, I sound like one of my first graders." Lizzie said and laughed embarrassedly.

"No you don't. You sound like a daughter who's trying to understand the dynamics of her changing family. Ask me anything. As long as I'm able to I will tell you, honestly and completely and if I can't I'll tell you that too."

"That I knew." Lizzie said and breathed slowly, "Did you and Dad ever date …. before?"

"No. In fact the only time we've ever even really had any type of physical contact has been work related. Also, we're not dating now."

Lizzie blinked twice and Liv watched as a tear slid down her cheek. "Mom always believed…" Lizzie stopped. "Do you want to date him?"

Liv paused and thought back to the Elliot Stabler she met 23 years ago with four children and a temper that he fought to control to the partner who promised to always be with her to the man who abandoned her and now was back in her life, a widow with 5 children all nearly grown and working on himself. She smiled at the memories that flashed across her minds eye. "I don't know." She saw Lizzie start to respond and put a hand up, "Hear me out, this is complicated."

Liv took a breath and then said, "When your dad and I first met, we were partners. Partners get very close, very fast. They literally have to be able to trust the other with their lives. Trust like that is something that is hard or at least was back then for both your dad and I. Yet, somehow we knew when we met that this was going to work. He was my best friend. We saw each other through some horrible things that I won't talk to you about, for the same reason you dad wouldn't talk to your mom about them. We had each other for those talks. Then he left, suddenly, and it broke my heart. I felt abandoned, angry and hurt. But, time heals a lot of things and your dad and I are working on rebuilding our trust and our friendship. He's beginning to learn what happened back here, while he was healing, saving his marriage, and all of the other things that he needed to do in order to grow and become who he is now. However, to go from all of that to something more, especially after he lost your mother, a wonderful woman whom he dedicated himself to for 40 years, I'm not sure he's able. I'm not sure it's right. For now, I just want us, all of us, to be friends, to feel safe and be ok."

"I wish mom knew how much you loved all of us. Not just dad." Lizzie said softly. "She could have been so much happier if she hadn't been so scared of you." Tears began to slip freely from the young woman's eyes. "He loves you, always has. He wouldn't say it. He's afraid of that emotion." Lizzie sniffed as she spoke and Liv handed her a tissue, "It's why mom was sure something was going on. Why she was always afraid of you on our lives."

"I can understand her fear. It makes sense. But I want you to know, I never, nor did your father ever, disrespect your mother and we are not going to start now."

"Thank you." Lizzie said softly as she wiped her eyes. She swallowed and took a slow steadying breath. "I know you've had to tell all this to Richard before but I had to know, especially now that everything is so different."

Olivia simply nodded her understanding and watched as the young woman gathered herself and her thoughts together.

"Please tell me that you and Noah are coming on the ski trip. Dad won't have half as much fun if you aren't there."

"I don't want to intrude on family time. Vacations, especially right now, those are special. Noah and I are fine to stay in the city."

"We've all talked about it. We want you to come. Actually I was the last one to have any reservations, it's why I stopped by. I don't know why but in my head I thought this talk would be so much…." Liz paused and searched for the right word, "more."

Liv nodded understanding what she meant. "Asking the questions we've kept hidden especially from ourselves can feel like they'll be a very large moment only to turn out to be something quite simple and you are surprised at how less dramatic everything was than you expected it to be."

"Exactly." Lizzie said and reached over and squeezed Liv's hand in gratitude.

"If you're certain then I'll put in for the time off first thing in the morning. How about I walk you out I think it's time we both head on home." Liv said standing.

Lizzie nodded and then impulsively stepped forward and gave Liv a shy hug. "Thanks Liv."

Liv just smiled and hugged back.

SVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVUSVU

A few hours later Liv lay on her sofa watching Noah's reading lamp to see if it actually went off when he promised it would, while she watched brainless tv in the hopes of distracting herself. Instead, she picked up her phone and texted El.

L: Never guess who I talked with today.

E:Who?

L:Your youngest daughter.

E: Lizzie?

L: LOL….Do you have more kids that I don't know about Stabler?

E: Ha Ha very funny

What were you and Lizzie talking about?

L: Same thing all your kids like to talk to me about…..You.

E: I quit

L: Can't they're yours for life.

E: Gee thanks Partner

L: Haven't been that in a few years

E: Yeah about that…..

L: No….You can't come back to SVU…stay in OCCB

E: Ha Ha

I told Ayanna about your tip. She was hoping you could come in so we could chat.

L: Tomorrow?

E: after hours to be safe

L: see you then….partner

E: Why do I want to tell you to flash your lights?

Liv looked at the message on her phone and smiled as she touched her heart. Instead of responding though she got up and looked in on Noah, who had fallen asleep with his book on his chest, his light on and one bare foot on the floor. Smiling Liv walked over and closed his book, tucked him in, kissed his soft curls, turned out his light, and walked back to the door. "Sleep well sweet boy. I love you." She whispered as she shut the door behind her.

As she stepped back to the living room the light switch caught her eye. Smiling she walked over and took a picture of her hand on the switch and sent it to Elliot. With the message, "Don't let me catch you sitting in your car under my window."