Disclaimer: A nod to the genius Robert Kirkman for creating this wonderfully dark, post-apocalyptic world. I do not own or have rights to any of the characters/plot of this series. I'm simply a fan indulging in my post-apocalyptic fantasies.

Thank you Nicole137137 for the lovely editing! You saved my tired brain on this one!

I HAVE FANART! In case you missed my post on the last chapter, Spaceshipdear made me some awesome fanart! Check out my profile for the link! XOXO

...

Beth awoke with a start. She found herself sitting straight up in a cot, the sheets having fallen around her waist, in the room she had taken as her own. Her hand came up to her cheeks and she felt dampness on her fingertips.

For the past week she had been unable to sleep soundly. Every night she would wake from horrendous nightmares where she would relive the horrors of Terminus. She had kept her nightmare to herself, not wanting anyone to make a fuss over her when they had more important things to worry about, but she had the feeling she wasn't the only one having bad dreams. No one looked as rested as they should; being behind the safety of Terminus' walls. On more than one occasion, Beth had heard screaming from another room after she had awoken from her own personal darkness.

Sliding out of the bed, knowing she would sleep no more, she glanced around her humble abode. The prior tenants had set up living quarters in one of the old buildings and with their small group, everyone afforded their own room.

She had chosen a room at the end of the hallway, slightly obscure from the others so that the nights she kept Judith, the baby wouldn't wake everyone with her cries. That had been her excuse anyway. Really she had just wanted privacy. She didn't want someone coming in and checking on her any time she made a noise in the night. She needed a safe haven like she'd had in her utility closet. The tiny room hadn't been much, but it had been enough.

Shuffling across the room, she pulled off her thin night shirt, and replaced it with the thick flannel shirt she had been given when she awoke. She had suspected who the shirt had belonged to, it was a man's sized shirt, but hadn't voiced her thoughts. The shirt still had its sleeves, but the scent of who had been carrying it around had been very distinct. She was almost saddened when she could no longer smell pine and oil on the material.

Shrugging on her brown coat, she picked up her crossbow, and then left the room. She tiptoed down the hallway, careful to keep the echo of her boots to a minimum, and eased open the door to the exit. The cool, crisp morning air felt like needles against her cheeks and she could see the exhale of her breath. Winter still lingered in the early mornings. The weather would warm soon, but the chill of the cold weather would last for several more weeks. They had more mouths to feed and the stockpiles in Terminus would only last so long. They needed to find things for Judith as well. She was finally at the age that they could supplement baby food along with milk, but she still needed formula. Warmer clothes were also always a necessity.

It was still dark outside, the sun just beginning to rise, providing only a little light to travel by. Beth walked across the courtyard to the farthest building from their 'apartment complex.' It provided a lookout position for the back side of Terminus. It was a more isolated location, being up on the roof, and it had become a place Beth found herself more often than not.

Carefully stepping up the ladder, she pulled herself over the ledge and climbed onto the roof. The roof was bare, save a plastic fold out chair, and an umbrella for the summer months. Beth would usually come up and relieve the person on duty when she had nothing else to do and couldn't go back to sleep. She had started recognizing faces, but names still eluded her. Trying to remember a person's name wouldn't be an issue this morning, for she immediately recognized the set of angel wings resting against black leather.

"You couldn't sleep either?" Beth asked as she moved to stand beside him.

Walkers were dotted along the fence line. It was nothing in comparison to what they had witnessed at the prison, but they knew what happened when walkers piled up.

"Woke up early," Daryl murmured.

Beth glanced up at him. From the dark circles under his eyes, it didn't look like he'd been sleeping much at all.

"I couldn't either," Beth replied, ignoring his excuse.

They fell into silence and Beth scanned the area once more. A majority of people were still asleep, but there were a few bustling about, preparing for the day.

"Think they'll figure out what to do with the people in the rail car today?" Beth asked absently.

"Doubt it," Daryl huffed.

They had been debating the past few days on whether to 'banish' them from Terminus, try to reinstate them in society, or a third option that Beth couldn't even fathom. She agreed that they were dangerous. That given the chance, they may create a new scheme somewhere else to lure innocent survivors in and imprison them for their own selfish needs, but she couldn't accept the idea of killing based on theories. She didn't trust them to be allowed to stay in Terminus either. Not with Judith here. Not with her family.

"Should jus' kill the psychos and be done with 'em," Daryl sneered.

"Daryl," Beth sighed, "You don't mean that."

"The hell I don't," Daryl looked at her, "Those pieces of shit locked us up. Locked up tons 'ah others too. You seen the cage full'a bones. You know what they were doin'. They're sick and they deserve t'be put down like the animals they are!" Daryl was more hostile than Beth had seen him since their argument a week ago.

She turned to fully face him, "What's wrong?"

"Ain't nothin' wrong," Daryl defended.

"You're lyin'," Beth kept her voice even.

"Nothin's wrong," Daryl repeated.

Beth placed her crossbow on her back and crossed her arms over her chest. She didn't rise to his bait. He was looking for an argument so he could vent whatever anger he had and she wasn't his punching bag. Instead, she calmly looked at him and waited for him to tell her what was on his mind.

Daryl stared at her for several minutes before scratching the back of his head in annoyance. Beth noticed him chewing on his bottom lip and his nervous habit spurred her into action. Stepping forward, she uncrossed her arms and cupped his face with her hands. Gently turning his face to look at her, she gave him a small smile.

"Talk to me," she whispered.

Daryl stared at her for a great length of time before he sighed and gave in to her request.

"Winter's still hangin' 'round and we got more people t'care for," his voice sounded rough.

"I know," Beth said with a nod, finding it somewhat ironic that she had just shared the same concern a few moments ago.

"We don't have enough supplies for everyone," Daryl hissed.

Beth dropped her hands to his and held them tightly.

"So what are we gonna' do about it?" Beth inquired.

"Sasha and Michonne found some blankets. Few warm things for people t'wear, but we got more people here than what Terminus had," he informed her, referring to the people living in Terminus before they had been overthrown.

"We need some stuff for Judith too. I made her a bottle last night an' noticed there's only about a fourth of the container left," Beth pointed out.

Daryl nodded.

"Food will be an issue too. We have a lot of mouths to feed and we definitely do not share the same appetite as they did," Beth inwardly cringed.

"Need to scout 'round. See if there's anythin' nearby worth checkin' out," Daryl spread his fingers and laced them between hers.

Beth felt warm, despite the cold morning, from this small gesture. She smiled at him, but otherwise gave no indication that she had recognized what he had done.

"So when do we leave?" Beth cut to the point.

"I'll talk t'Rick. I'd like to go later today if we can manage it," Daryl answered.

"Sounds good," Beth agreed.

Beth gave his hands a squeeze, in which Daryl returned, and then she let go of his hands. She looked out over the wooded area several feet away and suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to ask him something that had been weighing on her mind.

"Daryl?" She said softly, not meeting his gaze.

"Yeah?" She could feel his eyes on her.

"How do you deal with…ya' know…" Beth couldn't bring herself to finish her thought aloud.

"What?" Daryl glanced at her from under his bangs.

"When you…." Beth bit her bottom lip, "When you take someone's life. How do you deal with it?"

Daryl got quiet and Beth waited. She could see his jaw working as he processed her question. She wasn't sure how taking the life of another affected Daryl. Everyone was different. However, she knew Daryl. She knew that even though he may act like he didn't have a care in the world, deep down he was always listening and taking what people said to heart. That he wasn't numb to his emotions and taking a person's life would weigh just as heavy on his heart as it did hers.

"You jus' don't think about it," Daryl settled for answering.

"What about the nightmares?" Beth kept her eyes forward when she asked, but she could feel him turn sharply to look at her.

"I keep replaying every…single…one of them. Every time I close my eyes," Beth admitted somberly.

She heard Daryl exhale, his breath a mist in front of him, while Beth peeked at him from the corner of her eye.

"Back on tha' farm. Before the herd. You remember that old man? One always goin' on about what was moral and all that shit," Daryl glanced at her.

"Dale? Was that his name?" Beth tilted her head to the side in thought.

"Yeah," Daryl nodded.

She watched him and waited for him to continue.

"I was the first one there, but I was too late. Walker'd already ripped into 'em. I looked him 'n the eyes when I pulled the trigger," Daryl's voice was soft, as if he was reliving the experience as he spoke to her.

She reached over and reclaimed his hand, interlacing their fingers in silent support.

"When it's quiet. When I get too much time t'think. I see Dale," Daryl mumbled.

She knew he was, in a roundabout way, saying he understood how she felt. That he too had nightmares. That he felt the same guilt she felt. He understood and that meant more than anything anyone could say to her.

"Think it'll ever go away?" Beth asked in naïve hope.

"Changes ya'," Daryl replied.

Beth knew this. She knew it would never go away. Maggie would have told her that 'in time things would get better,' but Daryl had always been honest with her. He was blunt, straight-to-the-point, and she respected him all the more for that.

"Two ah' yours shoulda' been on my hands," Daryl hissed.

"What?" Beth was confused, "What do ya' mean two of them should be on your hands?"

"That fucker in the armory. Then when we first got on the roof," Daryl didn't elaborate.

Beth fought the wave of nausea that took hold when she thought back to the man she had mercilessly stabbed in the face. It had been in the heat of the moment, but she hadn't dared chancing that Daryl might not have needed the help. If they had spotted him, he may have been able to take them out first, but there had been two of them and Daryl had been vulnerable to them where he had been hiding.

"I know you weren't in danger on the roof. Not the first time, but you know as well as I do that hesitating in this day an' age gets you killed. You probably woulda' gotten yourself outta' trouble when I helped you after we split up, when I got off the roof of that other building, but tha' guy in the armory…there was no way of knowin' someone was in there and we needed those guns," Beth argued.

"I shouldn't 'ah let you go in alone," Daryl glowered.

"It wasn't your decision and you can't protect me from everythin'. I have to deal with the consequences of my choices. They are not your fault," Beth said firmly, putting an end to the conversation before it began.

Beth could feel the tension hanging in the air between them. She knew Daryl would always blame himself for things that were out of his control. It was a quality that she both admired and detested. He had a good heart, even if he misplaced his guilt. Deciding to change the subject, Beth asked something that had been on her mind since the night they infiltrated Terminus.

"On the roof, after I…when I couldn't breathe, how'd you know what to do?" She asked softly.

"I had asthma as a kid. My mom smoked like a fuckin' freight train an' we couldn't afford meds. Cut into their booze money I s'pose. So Merle…" he paused, "He'd get me t'focusin' on his breathin' and calm me down."

Beth didn't respond. She may not have thought highly of the older Dixon, but Daryl did, and she wasn't the type to speak ill of the dead.

"I know he was a piece of shit, but he looked out for me," Daryl glanced at her, "It was just me and him for the longest."

"I'm glad you had him," Beth genuinely meant the statement.

Daryl nodded while looking down at his feet. He rarely talked about Merle. She felt an immense amount of gratitude that he felt comfortable enough to share personal things with her and she wasn't going to ruin the moment.

"I never thanked you," Beth squeezed his hand.

"Don't gotta'," Daryl glanced at her from the corner of his eye.

"I do. You got me through it," Beth replied, "Thank you Daryl."

"Welcome," Daryl grunted.

Footsteps up the ladder signaled that the next watch shift was coming to replace Daryl. Looking over her shoulder, she recognized the man and gave him a polite smile. Turning her attention back to Daryl she gave his hand a gentle tug.

"Come on. Rick should be up and we'll talk to him about scouting the area. Sooner we leave, the sooner we can find places that will get us stocked up on resources," Beth suggested.

Daryl didn't reply, but followed behind her. She had hoped that Daryl had accepted that she was responsible for the consequences of her decisions, but knowing him, they would have another conversation about everything once he had sorted out his thoughts.

...

Beth spotted Rick standing in the courtyard with Judith on his hip. She smiled at the scene, thankful to once again have a safe place for Judith to grow up, and admiring the tender moment before her. She hadn't noticed she had stopped walking until Daryl placed a hand on the small of her back.

"Sorry," she murmured, tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

"S'alright," he replied just as softly.

"Mornin'," Rick called to them.

"Good morning," Beth beamed, closing the distance between them.

"What's got you two up so early?" Rick adjusted Judith who was reaching for Beth.
Beth took the baby and planted several kisses on Judith's pudgy cheeks.

"We was talkin', me and Beth, and we're gonna' go out and scout around the area. Try to find some places that might have supplies we could use. We got lots more people t'care for," Daryl cut straight to the point.

"I think that's a good idea. Terminus has a decent stockpile, but it wouldn't hurt to have more," Rick agreed, "When you thinkin' on leavin'?"

"Later today. After lunch," Daryl answered.

Rick nodded and brought his hand up to rub his coarse beard, "Think just the two 'ah you is enough? I don't trust any of the people we freed enough to go with you, but maybe Glenn? Michonne or Tyreese?"

"Nah. We'll be quicker with just us two," Daryl pointed out.

"Alright," Rick concurred, "How long you thinkin' it'll take?"

"Mmm….two? Maybe three days tops?" Beth looked to Daryl.

"Yeah," Daryl nodded.

"Take whatever you need. Just be sure and let Maggie know what you're doin'," Rick reached out and took Judith back from Beth.

"I will," Beth gave Judith another quick kiss before handing her over, "First thing we're doin' is checkin' your stitches."

Daryl made a noise and Rick smirked.

"I'll do it myself," Beth encouraged, "Don't be a baby about it."

"I ain't no baby," Daryl glared at her.

"Then let's prove that assertion, shall we?" Beth smiled sweetly.

Daryl's nostrils flared.

"She's a Greene girl. Bes' not to argue," Rick laughed and turned to take Judith back inside.

"Come on," Beth started toward the medical building.

"Always draggin' me wherever you please," Daryl grumbled.

"Someone's gotta' look after you," Beth sing-songed over her shoulder.

Daryl grunted indignantly, but Beth knew he was following her. Pushing the door to Bob's makeshift hospital open, she motioned for Daryl to follow her. She grabbed some gauze and a small pair of scissors off of one of the trays and led him to an area at the back of the room.

There were still several people asleep on the cots, but most everyone was healing. Walking past the woman Beth had injured on the roof, she was relieved to see the color had returned to her skin, an obvious sign she was healing.

They had two armed guards posted in the med bay as a precaution, but for the most part, helping the injured had been a quiet affair. They had received Bob's instructions without much argument and hadn't attempted in taking anyone else's life since they'd been brought in.

"Umm..." Beth cleared her throat, "You want me to cut another hole your pants to check the stitches..or?"

Daryl didn't hesitate in undoing his belt and Beth was immensely relived to see the elastic band of his boxer briefs peeking over the top of his pants. She turned to give him a bit of privacy and she no longer heard the rustling of fabric, she turned back around.

Seeing Daryl sitting on the cot with his pants around his ankles was the most ridiculous thing she had seen in some time. She tried and failed to stifle the giggles slipping past her lips.

"Go on, laugh it up," Daryl glared at her.

She wasn't sure if it was the sun's rays coming through the window or if Daryl was blushing. Regardless, she got herself together and removed the bandage over the front of his thigh.

"Looks like they could stay in another day or two," Beth spoke as professionally as she could manage.

"Take the son of'a bitches out. I ain't droppin' my pants a second time," Daryl blurted.

"Oh no?" Beth couldn't help but tease.

She peered up and met his furious stare.

"Alright, alright. I'll take them out," Beth yielded.

Careful not to reopen the wound, she slid the scissors under the thread and snipped them in two. Grabbing the knot, she slipped a few out from where they had been holding his skin together.

"Why only the front?" Daryl asked.

"What?" Beth stopped her task and glanced up at him.

"Why'd you only stitch the front? Bullet went in the back of my leg too," he clarified.

"Oh. The entry wound was clean. Not a lot of damage. It wouldn't need help healin' back together like the front of your leg. The exit wound is usually where there's the most damage," Beth explained.

"How you know all this?" Daryl quirked an eyebrow at her.

"Back on the farm, one of our cows got shot. Hunter mistook her for a deer. Hit her in the leg. Daddy used staples, but it's the same concept," Beth answered while she resumed her work.
She pulled out the last stitch and then moved to the outside of his leg to examine the entry wound.

"This looks pretty well healed," she patted his leg affectionately, "the top wounds gonna' leave a scar, but it's better than what it would've been."

"Not the only one I've got," Daryl said sarcastically.
Beth bit her lips together, unsure whether Daryl had meant for her to hear his comment.

"I'm gonna' let you get decent and go find Mags. Need to fill her in before we leave," Beth said quickly, trying to cover her anxiety over Daryl's previous remark.

"Alright. I'll catch up with ya' in a bit," Daryl replied, as he began hiking up his jeans.

She turned to walk away, pausing mid-step. She could hear Daryl fiddling with his belt and knew he had his pants back around his hips. Taking a deep breath, she spun back around and approached him. He looked confused until she stood up on her toes and placed a kiss against his cheek.

When she pulled back, he was staring at her with furrowed brows, as if he was contemplating something far beyond Beth's insight. She glanced between his eyes and his lips, unsure whether she should walk away or kiss him while she had the nerve.

"I'll see you in a little while," she said with a smile.

Then she turned and walked out of the building. She needed to find Maggie and pack her things.

They had a busy day ahead of them.

...

Beth was sitting next to Maggie, having already finished her lunch, when Daryl approached them. He had his crossbow against his back and a backpack slung over his shoulder. Maggie crossed her arms over her chest and Beth forced herself not to roll her eyes.

Maggie hadn't been thrilled with the idea of Beth going off with Daryl and scouting for supplies. She had suggested that they take more people, but Beth had been adamant that she and Daryl would be more than enough. They were only going to be taking stock of what was available to them nearby, not bringing home all of the supplies they came across.

"You take care of my little sister. You hear?" Maggie said to Daryl.

"She's grown. She knows how to handle herself," Daryl replied.

"Maggie, I told you, it'll be fine," Beth intervened.

"Just be careful, alright?" Maggie sighed, reaching out to give Beth a hug.

"We'll be back in a few days. It'll be fine," Beth returned her sister's hug.

She knew Maggie was worried about her. She would be too if Maggie were the one leaving, but they all had different ways they could contribute and this was what Beth chose to do.

"Watch yourselves," Maggie offered to Daryl.

"This ain't our first rodeo," Daryl brushed off Maggie's concern.

Beth reached down and grabbed her things. Her crossbow was useless, as she had no ammo, but she knew that would be the first thing Daryl would search for. Maggie had told her to take her handgun and after several minutes of deliberation, Beth had finally agreed. Daryl too had a rifle strapped to his back. They would only use the weapons in an emergency, but they would at least have them should an emergency situation occur.

"We'll be back," Beth told her sister.

"Be careful," Maggie replied.

Beth had already stopped by to see Judith, Carl, and Rick before lunch. She had caught Michonne in the armory when she had gone to see if they had by chance taken any bolts from anyone forced into a boxcar. Glenn had been with Maggie when she had gone to tell her about the reconnaissance trip. The only person she hadn't seen was Carol.

"You tell Carol what we were doin'?"Beth asked as she followed beside Daryl out of the chain link gate.

"Yeah," Daryl answered her, shutting the gate behind them.

"She say anythin'?" Beth was curious.

"Just t'be careful. Same as everyone else," Daryl answered her.

Beth nodded and stopped outside of the second gate. She wasn't sure which direction Daryl wanted to go, but she knew the path straight ahead, the direction they had come from, led to nothing they could use.

"Where to?" She looked to Daryl.

"Let's head east. We don't come across anything in a few hours, we'll head south and loop back around," Daryl pointed in the direction to their right.

"Sounds good to me," Beth agreed.

Beth wasn't looking forward to the miles of walking, but it had become the norm. If they didn't find anything within walking distance, they'd have to consider checking into some of the vehicles in Terminus and driving further out. The trip in general reminded her of their stint together after the prison fell. Things had been rough, but for the most part, they had all been good memories.

"Just like old times, huh?" Beth asked while she sped her pace to keep up with him.

"We find someone's stash ah' food, we're takin' what we can and bookin' it out of there," Daryl replied.

Daryl was dead serious. She knew she shouldn't, but she found his statement to be comical and couldn't stop her laughter.

"I ain't fallin' for the same shit twice. Was stupid we stayed the first time. We knew better," Daryl mumbled, miffed by her amusement.

"Only if I get the pigs feet this time," Beth teased.

"You sassin' me?" Daryl failed to hide his smirk, "We got three days together."

"You should feel honored by my presence," Beth retorted.

"Stubborn an' a smart ass," Daryl grumbled, "Just like old times."

Beth wasn't sure if their trip would be as fruitful as she hoped, but nevertheless she was happy to have a job to do to keep her busy. Granted they were in more danger outside of the fences, Beth had found herself going stir crazy inside. Daryl had definitely rubbed off on her more than she'd thought.

"First things first," Daryl interrupted her thoughts, "we need bolts."

"Lead the way Mr. Dixon," Beth said with a smile.

Daryl gave her a flat look and Beth's smile widened.

Just like old times…

A/N:I hope all of my American readers had a good Fourth of July!

So we're finally given' some insight on how Daryl feels on how things went down in Terminus! It's just a glimpse, but everything with Daryl has to be done in baby steps! We even got a glimmer of his life before with Merle! : )

Hope you enjoyed the chapter! Leave me some feedback!