A/N: OMG I'm so terrible. I really am. Because last chapter I told you that there would be two more chapters, and there aren't. I really did have all of this outlined as two chapters, but when I actually sat down to write it, it worked so much better as one. So, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, but this is the last chapter.
This is my first DW fic, and it has been quite the ride! I couldn't have done it without my friend Marissa, who plotted this story out with me, and who read every single chapter to make it better than it was before. And I couldn't have done it without all of you readers and reviewers! I hope you enjoyed this little adventure.
My next fic will be coming soon! Look for the title "A High Class Education." And, as always, I'd love to hear your thoughts!
Chapter 12: All
"I'm going to check on Clara," Rose says, the moment she and the Doctor enter their TARDIS. She lifts up on her toes to kiss the Doctor's cheek. Being back in their TARDIS, with its coral walls and warm lighting, has made her giddy. They're safe, they're whole, and if she can just get Clara and the new, new, new Doctor to talk to each other, all will be right with the world for the moment.
At the door to the infirmary, Rose stops. Clara's dozing, her head resting on the bed next to the Doctor's, his hand held tightly in hers. The Doctor is shifting, his eyelids fluttering, and the movement wakes Clara. Her head shoots up and she scoots forward.
"Doctor?" She asks in a whisper.
"My impossible girl," the Doctor rasps. His eyes go soft in the same way they do when Rose's Doctor looks at her, like she holds his entire universe in her hands. Rose's heart aches, in the best way, to see how in love with Clara he is. She wants the Doctor to be happy when she's gone, to find a way to keep going, keep saving people and planets.
Rose holds her breath, waiting to see how Clara will respond. It's the perfect opportunity for her to tell the Doctor how she feels, if she's just brave enough to take it.
"Doctor!" Clara throws her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly, and the Doctor immediately hugs her back. "Oh God, I was so worried."
The Doctor pulls back, brushing a lock of hair away from Clara's face. His fingertips linger on her skin, and Rose feels like she should turn away. It would be the polite thing to do, leave them to their privacy, but she can't. She has to know.
Clara leans just slightly into his touch. Rose bites her lip, waiting for Clara to go in for the kiss. It's the perfect moment, maybe the only moment they'll get. She knows this dance better than anyone, and she kicks herself every day for not seizing the moment sooner.
The Doctor's fingers drift to Clara's hair, and Rose thinks that maybe he's learned and is about the make the first move, but Clara stiffens and pulls herself away.
"Tea! You need tea." She jumps to her feet and turns towards the door, pausing a moment when she spots Rose before hurrying past her.
Rose sighs, and steps farther into the room. The Doctor has angled the bed into a reclining position, and is sitting comfortably watching Rose move towards him.
"I thought maybe you were a dream," the Doctor says, holding out his hand. Rose takes it and sits on the edge of the bed.
"Nope, real as can be. How are you feeling?"
"Good. Ready to go twelve rounds. Thirteen even! I was shot?" the Doctor asks. She knows that his memory is usually still fuzzy after a healing coma, and that he's trying to sift through what was a dream and what's reality.
"You were," Rose says, holding his hand in both of hers. "More than once."
"Never been shot before, that's new!"
Rose laughs a little, because only the Doctor could treat being shot as something to cross off a bucket list. The Doctor squeezes her hand and she sobers.
"Clara was terrified, especially with this happening so close to incident with the Klaxor venom. Really, Doctor, will you ever explain regeneration to your companions before it happens?" The Doctor has the good sense to look chastised and gives a little shrug.
"Clara's a brave girl, she'll be fine in no time."
They fall silent for a moment, and Rose wants badly to ask him what he feels for Clara, but she can't quite manage it.
"Are you happy?" The Doctor asks her.
"I am. I never thought I could be as happy as I am right now." The Doctor nods resolutely. Then he takes a deep breath, his eyes filling with tears.
"I'm so sorry, Rose."
"Don't ever apologize to me, Doctor. Whatever happened, I wouldn't change it for the world."
The Doctor nods, but still looks doubtful. Rose smiles gently, knowing that he may never believe he was worth it. Rose squeezes his hand one last time and stands.
"I'm going to see what's keeping Clara. I'm glad you're okay, Doctor." She leans in and presses a kiss to his cheek.
After leaving the healing Doctor, Rose heads to the galley and finds Clara sitting at the table, her head in her hands and two cool mugs of tea before her. Rose sits down opposite the brunette girl.
"Why didn't you tell him?" Rose asks, as gently as she can manage. She doesn't want it to sound accusing, but at the same time she wants to take Clara by the shoulders and shake her.
Clara laughs, a short, bitter sound, and lets her hands fall to the table.
"How could I, when he is so clearly in love with you? I know you all keep saying he's regenerated, but the way you were at dinner and the way the Doctor looks at you…"
"My Doctor, Clara. Your Doctor doesn't look at me that way," Rose interrupts.
"Yes he does! When he saw you in that room, it was like he saw Heaven. And he called you "love." You're just the same! You're so in love with him, it's written all over your face any time he's in the same room. The kind of love you two have, that doesn't just go away. He won't just stop loving you and suddenly fall in love with me. And I can't bear to hear that he doesn't feel that way. I just…I want to go home. Why are you pushing this so hard?" Clara asks, her words tumbling out in a rush as tears roll down her face.
Rose looks at the other girl for a moment, considering the question carefully before she responds.
"You're right. I love my Doctor desperately, more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anyone, but part of loving the Doctor is knowing that it can't last forever. That's just the way it is. That's why we make the most of the time we have together, why everything seems more intense, because we know that our time will come to an end. You being here, with your Doctor, is proof of that. And when that time comes, I want him to be happy. I want him to continue to be the Doctor, traveling through time and space, having adventures and saving the universe, and I think he needs you to do that."
Clara gives a little huff, as if she doesn't believe Rose can be quite so self-sacrificing. Rose grins a little.
"Don't get me wrong," Rose says. "It certainly helps that he has a new face. If he didn't, I'd probably want to scratch your eyes out for even looking at him."
The words draw a chuckle from Clara before she becomes serious again, and Rose can tell she's still struggling with her feelings.
"If you really want to leave him, the door is right there," Rose says. "But Clara, he doesn't love me. I hope he thinks of me fondly, like he does all his former companions. And I hope our time together made him hurt a little less, but he isn't in love with me. Not in this body."
"Just because his face changes doesn't mean he changes. Not deep down," Clara insists.
"You're right. Deep down, regeneration doesn't change the Doctor. The core of who he is remains the same, but his emotions, his personality, they can change. It's like…pears! My Doctor, he loves bananas and he hates pears. I haven't had a pear in ages, because the last time I had one he said he could smell it on my breath and wouldn't be in the same room as me for three days. How does your Doctor feel about pears?"
"He doesn't care one way or the other. He likes fish fingers and custard," Clara offers.
"Exactly! See, his tastes, his preferences, they change with regeneration. And that means his feelings for me will change. He is not in love with me, Clara. I can promise you that."
"But…"
"No buts! He's idiotically in love with you, anyone can see it. Don't run away because you're scared. I spent enough time doing that with my Doctor, and I wish I hadn't."
They sit in silence for a few moments while Clara tries to process the information. A few minutes later, the pinstripe Doctor appears in the doorway.
"Now that my future self is awake, we shouldn't linger. The longer we're together the more we risk the timelines," he says. Rose nods and Clara stands.
"I'll go tell the Doctor. The other one, I mean," she says and she slips from the room.
"Are you done playing matchmaker?" The Doctor asks, smirking at Rose. She blushes a little and stands to give him a hug.
"I just want you to be happy when I'm not here."
"I know, love."
# # #
Clara and her Doctor stand outside their TARDIS, ready to say goodbye to Rose and her Doctor. The Doctors discuss briefly what steps they'll have to take to lock away the memories of this adventure for the future while Clara and Rose say goodbye.
"Talk to him, Clara. Please. For me," Rose pleads. Clara bites her lip for a moment before she nods. She can't promise when she'll talk to him, or if she'll say exactly what Rose hopes she will, but she'll talk to him.
"I will, promise." The girls exchange fond hugs, and then part to bid the Doctors farewell.
The Doctor in braces and a bowtie pulls Rose into a tight hug, which she gladly returns.
"It was so good to see you, Rose." He presses a firm kiss to her forehead and then pulls himself away. Rose ducks back into her TARDIS as her Doctor takes Clara's hand in his.
"Clara. Until we meet again." He presses a light kiss to the back of her hand and offers her his trademark grin before trailing after Rose. Clara smiles, feeling a blush heat her cheeks, and goes to stand with her Doctor.
Soon Rose and the younger Doctor are gone, and Clara follows her Doctor into their TARDIS. It's comforting to Clara to be back in the familiar console room. She sinks onto the jump seat, watching the Doctor as he checks the controls and readouts for signs of damage. He's uncharacteristically silent.
Now would really be the perfect moment for Clara to have the talk with him, to tell him what she's been feeling, at least in part, but every time she thinks of it, fear grips her throat so the words can't come out. She watches him a moment, waiting to see if he'll say anything, ask her to stay, tell her he loves her, anything.
"Well, looks like I'll be going then…." Clara says, silently begging him to just say something. "See you," she mutters, when he barely even looks at her. She walks slowly towards the doors. Every step feels wrong. How can she give up this life? How can she give up the Doctor?
She opens the door to the bright courtyard, and is about to step outside when he speaks.
"See you next Wednesday, my impossible girl?"
Something in his voice makes Clara's heart trip in her chest. She turns to face him, smiling a cautious smile. He stares back at her, and for the first time she sees what Rose saw. Clara walks slowly towards him, her Doctor, stands on her toes, and brushes her lips softly against his. The contact is so brief that Clara can hardly believe she actually did it, and then she rocks back on her heels.
"Course you will, Chin Boy. Unless maybe you wanted to stay for a while, I'm making soufflé."
The Doctor grins and slips his arm around her waist, pulling her back to him. He leans down and presses his lips to hers, more firmly than she kissed him. Clara feels the kiss in every part of her body, and she's left breathless as he pulls back with a wide, goofy grin.
"Do you have any fish fingers and custard?"
The End