After the interview yesterday Kyle had expectations that working for Eric Cartman would be the easiest job he'd ever have to work in his entire life. That he might have been winning this semi-silent bet between him and Tweek.
But Kyle soon learned that working for Eric Cartman meant that his expectations would be consistently thrown out the window.
As demanded, Kyle arrived an entire fifteen minutes before eight am. It was… very astounding. To say the least to see how quickly his desk was set up and ready for him.
Right across from Nichole's desk was his very own. An extremely comfortable chair. Right upon the desk was laced with a desktop of the lavish and newest quality, the latest and highest quality Iphone that Eric had mentioned yesterday, a journal for possible note taking, several pens in a pen holder and–
A mug. When Kyle lifted the mug it had words on it.
ETC's Bitch
"Uh Nichole?" Kyle glared at the cup with burning intensity, like it had insulted his mother. "The fuck is this?"
Nichole came up to Kyle with the folder of Eric's schedule for the day looking at the cup with a short blink of confusion. "Oh! Uhm Mr. Cartman actually hands these out to all of his assistants he hires…" Nichole gave a sympathetic shrug. "He thinks it's funny."
Kyle was certainly not laughing. "Fucking prick."
Kyle couldn't believe he didn't even hear the fucking elevator doors ding open.
"And who is a fucking prick?" Kyle's eyes slowly widened into a panicked shock. It only took one glance at Nichole who was looking straight ahead behind him to know exactly who was there.
"O-Oh, Mr. Cartman Good morning !" Nichole said, trying her best to compose a smile, keeping herself distant from whatever trouble Kyle had stormed upon himself.
"Good morning Miss Daniels! And Mr. Broflovski a very special welcoming good morning to you~" Eric Cartman's sweet manipulative words were anything but special, they were anything but welcoming, it was far from a good morning right now.
Eric soon peaked around between the two of them, a smirk looming from ear to ear as he had his hands smugly snuggled in his coat pockets. "Ah~ So I've seen you've found my welcoming present."
Eric clasped his hands together and made a surprised gasp. "Don't tell me– you love it." The dirty and devious smirk wouldn't drop. It was setting Kyle boiling.
Kyle looked down at the cup and it was like the spark that lit the dynamite. "Honestly? Truthfully? " Kyle rotated the mug in his hands for a few solid seconds, inspecting it like it was riddled with exquisite and intricate detail.
Taking a look at Eric there was a flicker of uncertainty in his eyes, like he was cracking under the pressure of his perfectly performed plan in his brain beginning to go south.
"I hate it." Kyle said as he took the folder from Nichole, making his way past Eric and her towards his office door, cup still gripped tightly in his hand. He then opened the door and made a signal with his head for Eric to get inside.
There was a flinch of a glare in Eric's face. Kyle could sense his distaste for losing this battle of annoyance. "Oh? I thought you would've liked the gift I gave you Kyle." He began to head inside the office and Kyle followed behind as Nichole was scrambling to her own desk.
"Oh please," Kyle scoffed as he shut the door. "My dementia riddled nana has given me better gifts and they were just the same goddamn dreidel every Hanukkah."
Eric headed to his desk with a disfigured grunt. "Way to make your boss happy on your first day."
Kyle was quick to walk behind, taking a quick read of the schedule and seeing how he had. A meeting with both marketing and sales, and several with clients for the rest of the afternoon. As quick as he was to shut the folder he was to speak.
"I was hired to help you with your schedule and to keep you on track of it. Essentially to make your day easier, not to keep you pleased." Kyle stood by Eric's desk, specifically in front of the little trash can.
"So really, thanks but no thanks– I'm your assistant, not some bitch." Kyle then dropped the mug right into the garbage, the ceramic glass shattering almost effortlessly. "Speaking of your schedule, your first meeting is with marketing at eight-forty five."
Did you really think it would start to get easier for Kyle?
It only went worse from there;
It started out as a harmless subtle name change, which soon quickly became a performance of mockery from Eric.
"Oh Mr. Broflovski, would you be ever so kind and hand this to Clyde on floor twenty-two for me?"
It was professional and the decent way to give Kyle the respect he rightfully earned.
"Broflovski– hand this off to that fuckhead Craig would you now?"
The respect withered by each passing day, sending Kyle to grow a simmering irk.
"Boy, file these."
That was sending Kyle over the edge, it was Thursday and Eric would not fucking stop.
Boy get me this– Boy do that for me. Boy pay attention– Kyle was about to fucking snap.
"Boy do me a favor and get me anoth-"
"No!" Kyle erupted violently, it was so loud the room might as well have had an earthquake. "I am sick of the blatant disrespect I am receiving from you!"
Eric just leaned against his desk, like none of Kyle's words had any malice to them. "Why should I give you any?" He had a light smirk to him. "Honestly? Truthfully?" Fuck– It was such a fucking distasteful mockery of Kyle just a few days ago when it was Eric who started all this bullshit.
"You have been nothing but a whiny little bitch lately and I'm a little bit sick of it Kyle, really I am." He cooed in a sadistic hymn. "An eye roll here, a little bitchy sigh there, you honestly do sound like some boy."
Kyle licked the inner of his teeth. Having so much more anger to spew out, to explode out like a nuclear missile, but he bottled it in for the sake of refusing to play into the already existing narrative of his bitchy attitude.
"Show me a bit more respect and maybe– just maybe, I'll start handing some back."
Kyle shut his eyes for a few long seconds and let out a shaky exhale, extinguishing any leftover anger in his body. "I… apologize Mr. Cartman for my behavior." Kyle gritted his teeth as he watched Eric's sinister smirk bloom full. "I'll be sure to work on it." Kyle struggled to muster out.
"Good boy." A shamefully disgusting shiver ran down Kyle's spin after hearing the two words leave Eric's mouth. "Now go fetch me another coffee would you now boy?"
"Yes… sir…"
The weekend, it was going to be Kyle's only saving grace at this point.
Having to forcibly kiss ass every single time was getting exhausting, draining, and fucking distracting.
Nichole had left while Kyle was finishing up filing some paperwork for Eric. He really wanted to just go home, crash and lounge in his bed for the whole weekend till he had to deal with this little game Eric played all over again
As he placed the last paper in the yellow folder he slid the filing cabinet shut. Heading back to his desk he sat down at his chair with a loud sigh, in a desperate need to relax he leaned back slightly in his chair and shut his eyes. Trying to take in the peaceful silence.
That was until Eric bursted his office door open. The older man scoffed as he walked to the cabinet near Kyle's desk.
"Lazy fuck–" Eric hissed clearly in Kyle's direction, as much as Kyle wanted to deeply express how much Eric was the lazy fuck and Kyle had been doing but busting his goddamn ass all day he held his tongue.
Kyle had sucked up to Eric all fucking day yesterday that a print of Kyle's face would be imprinted on his fat ass from all the ass kissing he did.
It had rewarded Kyle with Eric all day calling him by his first name at least. Kyle was willing to take what he could grasp on at this grueling excuse of a job.
"Uhm Kyle?" One of Kyle's eyes opened to peer over to Eric who had a displeased look to his face.
"I would assume you knew your fucking alphabets when I hired you," Eric growled lowly.
As Kyle sat up properly in his chair he had a confused look on his face. "The fuck are even you talking about?" Kyle winced internally at the slip of his tongue, but his intelligence was being toyed with and that was something Kyle never fucking played with.
Eric's brow twitched, he was seconds away from erupting and Kyle could see it all over his face.
"The fuck am I even talking about?" Eric questioned aloud his voice thick with a cooled, venomous rage. "What I am talking about is the burning question that I have which is; why is this folder which is filed J, all the way in front of fucking D?"
Kyle sighed with an angered wave of embarrassment. Putting his hand to the bridge of his nose he rubbed it to soften the increasing rage inducing migraine forming in his body. "I guess I got a little distracted and I apolo-"
"Kyle, do you know where getting a little distracted gets you in the business world?" Eric questioned the ginger. He was staring at the cabinet for a while before beginning to put the file in its correct place and skimmed through all the files.
Then in a rapid rampage he began tossing folders out, papers and important documents fluttering everywhere. "It can lead to a mess, then people start to get angry, they might even get angry at me." Eric hissed, taking a pause of tossing folder after folder to take in Kyle's wide eyed angry look.
"And do you want to know who I am going to be angry with if people start to get angry with me?" Eric seethed out his question in a fiery glare. His hand moved slowly to grip onto the handle of the filing cabinet.
The answer was clear as day, not a soul needed to whisper it out.
But Eric wanted to shout it out. To make sure all of New York City knew that Eric Cartman was angry with Kyle over the simplest mistake.
"I am going to be fucking angry with you!" Crash! Came down the filing cabinet with an echoing thud. The thundering sound left a frightful ringing in Kyle's ears. "Clean this goddamn fucking mess up now! You aren't leaving till its fucking perfect."
Kyle was so undeniably outraged, but he kept it bottled in. He really didn't want to risk what would happen if he didn't clean this mess up.
Eric groaned before making his way back to his office, "God I need a fucking drink" He mumbled before slamming the door shut.
Eric had stayed watching Kyle reorganize the filing cabinet. Looming behind the redhead burning daggers into the back of his bushy red curls as he swirled the third glass of whiskey he had poured for himself.
Snapping at Kyle was not entirely Eric's fault. Yes– he wanted to undeniably push Kyle way past a safe work environment. Wanted to bend the boy so far to see if he could get him to snap, just to reel him back in closer, and closer. Till Kyle was all his.
It didn't help all the imagery warping Eric's mind to the darkest of perversion of the boy. Sending Eric's blood boiling when he pictured pale freckled skin turning a baby flushed pink under his hands, his mouth, hi-
"Do you have to keep gawking at me like that?" Kyle huffed out, turning his head with a half heated glare.
"I have to make sure you don't destroy my fucking company Broflovski so get fucking to it!" Eric mirrored a glare back at Kyle as he hissed his words harshly.
Kyle sucked his teeth in muttering a few words under his breath. It ticked off Eric's tipsy rage. "The fuck was that boy?! I don't fucking pay you to talk back I pay you to-"
Ding! Came the elevator with a thickening silence.
"Wow love, your yelling is so loud you could probably hear it all the way from London if one tried." The British voice drained Eric completely, Kyle's head turned to the elevator and slowly so did Eric's.
Tall, black turning silver thinning hair, a faded teardrop tattoo right under his left piercing icy blue eye. "We were supposed to meet up forty minutes ago, what happened?" The smirk and the sweet alluring tone felt like a mirage in the hottest desert, being left stranded for days on end. "Romp," Eric's smile grew ever so wearingly. "Clearly, you can see I'm a little caught up at the moment"
Romper came closer to dissect the situation. "Clearly…" He said slowly. "And who is this now?" He said, looking Kyle up and down.
It was strange, it was chest tightening, fist curling and seething. Seeing the way Romper Stomper looked at Kyle the way he had been. It made Eric fucking livid.
Kyle looked at Romper and fumbled with the folders and papers till he held them in one hand reaching his other hand out to give him a handshake. "Kyle Broflovski, I'm Mr. Cartman's newest assistant."
"Ah how delightful, Raphael, but many call me Rompe-" The moment Romper's fingers brushed against Kyle's, Eric slapped his hand right in between them. "Romper, why don't you wait in my office? You need something from me right?- as usual."
They both stared at each other, Romper's icy blue eyes staring cold daggers right into Eric, it was a silent whisper between the two of them for a fight. And boy– would he'd fight but he wouldn't come triumphant. "Fine, so your office?" Romper said with a ghastly smirk,
"Y-Yeah I have some tequila in there." Eric grumbled gently.
"Oh my favorite, thank you old pal," It sickened Eric to hear those two words, a darkened reminder of how they're intertwined like a parasite to its host. "Pleasant to meet you, Kyle Broflovski.'' Romper then headed inside Eric's office while Eric pulled out his phone letting out a relieved sigh once the door shut. Scrolling in his contacts till he found Nichole Daniels(Stupid girl)
Eric didn't want to keep Kyle here with Romper here, to witness his only failure, to witness his hopeless attachment. "Kyle just get your shit and go the fuck home."
Eric's eyes flickered to Kyle's frazzled blinking green ones."A-Am I fired?!" He gasped.
Eric pulled his glasses down to grip the bridge of his nose tightly "Jesus fucking tits no, I'm just so fucking sick of your face right now just get the fuck out."
He pressed on the button to call Nichole and continued to rub at the bridge of his nose till she answered. "Daniels? Get your ass over here now,"
Nichole started speaking through the phone but Eric didn't bother to register it, "I don't care what bitch excuse you have Daniels, just get the fuck over here." Eric ended the call and whipped his head towards Kyle who stood anxiously by the elevator. "You better fucking be here Monday fucking morning with your goddamn head out of your ass before I ship you in a box back to your fucking mommy's house, got that bitch?"
Kyle jumped turning to look at Eric, looking like a gorgeous scared little deer in the headlights; Eric wanted to ravish and caress him at the same time–. "Y-Yeah whatever," The elevator doors opened and Kyle rushed inside, a glare rose only momentarily as the swift mumble of 'Asshole' left those pouted lips as he hurried to pressing the elevator closed.
A sneer ran across Eric's face. "Fuck off you worthless cunt!". Eric's eyes left the elevator once the doors shut. Drink still half full gripped in his hand Eric quickly rose it to his lips and gulped it down. Slamming the glass down on the nearby desk he gasped an angered sigh.
He ran a hand through his hair, as his breath simmered to a cooling rhythm Eric began to notice it.
A shift in the air, the shift of being gawked at, like the rolls of him and Kyle had been switched. As if he was the deer in the headlights, Eric turned. He stared wide eyed at Romper who was standing at the open door of his office, fiddling with a glass of Tequila. "You're quite rude to him don't you think?" They didn't make eye contact for a moment. Icy blue eyes staring carelessly at the swirling liquid.
"Tch– He's just some stupid bitch, starting to regret hiring him." Eric huffed. "Oh so was there another reason you hired him?" Romper teased. "A faggy reason?" Hissed Romper looking up at the man. Eric's glare began to tighten up. "Shut up–"
Romper took a drink of his Tequila, "Oh come on old pal, I'm only teasing. He is quite a beaut, I see why you wou–"
"I said shut up!" Eric shouted harshly. Romper stared back at him, just for a few moments, letting the regret of Eric's words sink deeper and deeper into his stomach.
The glass in Romper's hand was thrown, barely missing Eric by a hair and shattering behind him. He flinched down only to be stormed towards, slammed ruthlessly into the desk behind him.
"It was cute when you wanted to act all tough in front of that little assistant of yours, but it won't work now; not when you still owe me." Romper whispered harshly into Eric's face, hand gripped tightly around his fat neck, his head whirling from the decreasing oxygen in his lungs.
He owed Romper. It was why he made billions of dollars a year, why he worked so hard to strive so high. To pay back the debt he had over his head. That never seemed to falter– but neither did his habits that brought this debt.
"Now what do we say to our friends when we hurt their feelings?" Romper asked with a maniacal sweetness that made Eric sick with a boiling hatred, but it nestled deep in his stomach as Romper's grip squeezed his neck threateningly.
"I'm sorry."
Romper grinned wildly. "Good, now let's get down to business, shall we?"
Eric slumped in defeat. "Yeah…"
The rich smell of sex, beer, cheap pizza and weed swirled the room. Two bodies mending together in a heated lustful embrace.
"Fuck Stan~" Kyle moaned out as he tilted his head back, eyes squeezed shut as he slammed his ass down onto Stan's cock. It perfectly hit his prostate, making Kyle's hips sputter and roll in pleasure.
"Fuh-Fuck damn Kyle I don't think I can last m-much longer." Stan groaned under him as Kyle shoved his hands onto his broad chest and curled his nails deep into his skin. "A-Ah~ Me n-neither."
Kyle's bouncing sped up faster and sporadic. Losing control in the mind numbing pleasure he felt like he needed all week.
Stan came first, Kyle groaned feeling the condom swell inside him. His hips rolled and grinded chasing the riveting feeling inside him.
Cum dribbled out of his cock and onto Stan's stomach, dripping down onto the happy trail under his belly button.
After a few recovering breaths Kyle slowly lifted himself off of Stan's cock and flopped next to him onto his back taking in the soothing afterglow of sex.
Reaching over the side of the bed he grabbed his pants, digging into the pocket he pulled out cigarettes and a lighter.
There was a sound of Stan tossing the condom and tissues into his bedside trash as he lit the cigarette. "Dude really? I thought you quit like; two years ago."
Kyle shrugged, heavily trying to deflect as he exhaled the cigarette smoke. "You know that saying Stan; old habits die hard."
"It was that new boss of yours wasn't it? Tweek did say the guy was a huge douchebag." Stan scooted closer and reached over to grab the cigarette to share it with Kyle. Taking a quick hit of it. "Why did you even apply to work for someone like that? It seems so… un-you."
"No," Kyle said, snatching the cigarette back as a glare formed on his face. "And what do you mean so un-me? Are you saying I shouldn't be reaching for the stars?" Stan just stared at Kyle blankly, seeing the bullshit Kyle was reaching out of his ass for what it actually was– Bullshit. "T-The guy makes billions of dollars a year! The perfect opportunity to learn all the best business practices is actually doing the work! Being an assistant is like– one step closer to my dream!"
Having a company, being a proud owner of something and showing the world that he– Kyle Broflovski was more than just a plain face.
"Couldn't you have worked somewhere else? Like Google or maybe even Apple? Those are some pretty cool companies." Stan offered and Kyle rolled his eyes taking another drag of the cigarette. "Stan those are those Tech savvy businesses! I spent way to many fucking years in college working hard to learn business! Not stupid codes or fancy screens!"
"Well couldn't you have worked at a company that isn't run by America's second biggest white douchebag?" Stan prodded on more enraging Kyle, leaving work he was still being reminded of the beast behind the office door.
It wasn't like Kyle was looking to degrade and humiliate himself.
Despite Eric's social reputation he was one of the fucking biggest business moguls in the country.
He came from a rich life and used it to his advantage. Used the rich to get richer, showing them all that he was superior in this world of eat or be eaten.
"I want something good on my resume, you know how many jobs I could get hands down once one employer takes a look and see I worked for Eric fucking Cartman?" Kyle gasped out, waving the cigarette in his hand like it was mapping out his life in the smoky fog, showing him the path to comfy easy living. "The possibilities are endless if I make it more than just a measly week there."
Kyle leaned his head against Stan's headboard. "I'm giving myself one year to last it there."
Stan's eyes blew wide. "Dude what?! One year? You look like you barely lasted this week alone."
Kyle huffed, gripping the cigarette tight between his fingers. "I handled it just fine! Why does everyone think I'm some delicate flower to push till I fucking explode!" Kyle seethed out.
Stan shifted defensively. "I don't think that dude! Who the fuck is even saying that?!"
It wasn't the words. It wasn't what people were saying, it was the way people acted that set Kyle to the highest levels of uncontrollable rage. The way they saw him as something to coddle, to defend and protect.
Sure he protected Tweek but there would always be Stan or anyone– always came running in like Kyle was some damsel. It was exhausting.
He was tired of having Stan do it in elementary school, then middle school, then fucking highschool.
Even moving onto college when everyone saw him as someone to pity, to feel bad because he looked so weak, because he was young he must've been a delicate flower. Ugh–
Having people put pity on him for being a smart gay man from a little town in Colorado.
"Stan I swear I'll be fucking fine. Quit feeling like you have to baby me. It's just a simple desk job." Kyle hissed.
"For a racist, anti-semite, homophobe, fat money-hungry–"
"Okay okay I get it!" Kyle gasped out. "Look whether anyone likes it or not I'm doing this, it's worth the pay, it's worth my resume and my career."
It was worth proving to those condescending eyes and those pitied looks he got from everyone, where they all saw him as helpless–
Kyle refused to look helpless any longer.