Ghosts And More Ghosts
Tegan has a nightmare and Sara talks to Amanda about old times
They didn't get back to their apartment until almost two in the morning, drunk, tired and in one case, asleep. Sonia hadn't had much to drink so she volunteered to drive and they dropped off their friends. They dropped off Emy and Lindsey first.
"Goodnight guys," Emy shouted drunkenly, "We'll see you again soon." She waved over her shoulder as her and Lindsey leaned on each other as they walked up the couple of steps to the door.
"Goodnight Emy," Tegan waved back, "Night Lindsey."
"Sleep well." Sara waved and smiled at them.
"We won't be sleeping anytime soon." Emy turned around to give them an immature smile.
"You just had to say something?" Tegan shook her head as Sonia pulled away from the building.
"I'm drunk," Sara defended herself, "I wasn't thinking clearly."
"Obviously." Tegan punched her shoulder lightly.
When Stacy was dropped off she just waved and said a quiet goodnight before trudging inside her own apartment building.
"Has she always been like that?" Sara asked, concerned about her new friend.
"Not really," Tegan shook her head, "It's been since her last girlfriend dumped her."
"Oh." Sara nodded her head in understanding.
"Alright, how do I get back to your apartment?" Sonia looked at them through the rearview mirror.
"I'll get in the front seat and give you directions." Sara smiled and got out of the car and got back in on the passenger's side.
By the time they got home Tegan had fallen asleep in the backseat. Sara thought for a minute about shaking her in an attempt to wake her up. She shook the thought out of her head and decided to carry her.
"Do you need help?" Sonia asked as she turned off the car and locked the doors.
Sara shook her head and smiled, "I've got her." She pulled Tegan into her arms and carried her like you would carry a small child, "Can you close the door for me?" Sonia nodded and closed it before heading to the door of the apartment to hold it open for her.
"Thanks." Sara smiled as she scooted passed the front door and walked to the elevator. She carried Tegan to through the door, to their bedroom, and laid her down on the bed. She removed the shoes and tie and tucked her under the covers. She smiled and walked across the hall to the bathroom to take a shower before bed.
Sara smiled at the peaceful form in her bed before turning and walking out of the room, closing the door silently behind her.
Tegan walked inside her house after school one day. She could hear her father yelling and the sound of open handed slaps. Her mom was whimpering in the living room as Tegan walked passed. Gabriel turned as he heard her shoes on the tile entryway.
"Come here Tegan." He spoke sternly, and for a second Tegan saw him as a normal father. A father who say down with his kid when something was wrong, confronted the issues with calm collected logic and told her whatever it was that she had done was wrong and why it was wrong.
Her thoughts delayed her and she stood in the entry a second too long.
"I said to get the fuck in here!" He raised his voice at her and tapped his foot impatiently, "Why are you home late?"
Tegan blinked in confusion. She wasn't late. She had taken the bus home and it arrived on time, "I'm not late."
Tegan felt hard knuckles connect with the right side of her jaw. The pain was unbearable and the tears slid down her cheeks. He has never hit her like that before. He had slapped her, pushed her away and called her names. But he had never hit her hard. Gabriel always reserved the hard hits for her mom.
"You're fucking late!" He half screamed at her, alcohol heavy on his breath.
"S-sorry." Tegan stammered out, trying to fight back the tears that wouldn't stop coming.
"That's better." He grunted and turned back towards her mom who was cowering on the couch, "You can go to your room now."
Tegan tried to leave the living room as fast as she could, but it wasn't fast enough to escape the sounds of Gabriel's belt whipping through the air and hitting the bare skin of her mom's shoulder. Tegan slammed the door of her room and turned The Smashing Pumpkins on, hoping to drown out the sound. And when that didn't work she buried her head in her pillow and cried herself to sleep.
"Sara!" Tegan woke up screaming. She was covered in sweat and was shaking badly.
"Are you okay Tegan?" She heard Sonia's voice coming through the closed door.
"I need Sara." Tegan hugged her knees to her chest.
"She's in the shower honey," Sonia sounded sympathetic toward her, "Is there anything I can do?"
"Can you try and get Sara's attention?" Tegan pulled the blankets up over her knees, trying her best to hide in them completely, her head just poking out above them.
"Sure, honey," Sonia soothed through the closed door, "I'll try."
Tegan could hear a muffled knock and some unintelligible talking. After a while she noticed that the water wasn't running and then she heard the bathroom door open. The bedroom door moved open quietly and Sara walked in softly, wrapped in a towel.
"Baby what's wrong?" Sara sat down beside her and wrapped her in a hug.
"I had a dream." Tegan was still shaking, "A memory."
"I'm so sorry." Sara rubbed her back slowly.
"Can you lay down with me?" Sara nodded and climbed over to her side of the bed, "Don't leave please."
Sara smiled warmly, "I won't leave Tegan," Sara pulled the towel off and tossed it aside, "Come over here and I'll hold you."
Tegan scooted over and relaxed in Sara's warm, strong arms. She smiled as she started to fade back out of consciousness.
Sara placed several soft kisses in Tegan's hair, hoping to calm her even further with the small signs of affection. She could hear Tegan's breath go to a much steadier, calmer pace, and she smiled before pulling her closer and letting her mind wander.
"What about her, Sara?" Jessie pointed at one of the girls in their math class.
"What about her?" Sara tried to play innocent.
"Do you think she's attractive?" Jessie prodded, just wanting Sara to admit a girl was attractive in public.
"Maybe." Sara grinned as Jessie rolled her eyes. Ever since she had told her best friend that she was gay Jess wouldn't leave her alone about it. Sara didn't really mind though, seeing how comfortably Jessie talked about her sexuality made it a little easier to not care about what other people might think.
"I think she's hot." Jessie smirked and turned to look back at the same student as before, "Hey there." Jessie smiled when the girl turned her head towards her, "You look good."
The girl gave her a disgusted look and muttered something under her breath before turning and facing the front of the classroom.
"Good morning everyone!" Mr. Jamison smiled at them as he walked into the classroom.
"Good morning." They all responded in unison.
Sara zoned out for most of the class. She knew what she was doing in math, she didn't need to pay attention. Suddenly her arm received a sharp pinch.
"What the hell?" Sara turned and glared at Jessie.
"What?" Jess shrugged innocently, "You didn't respond to the bell."
"Oh." Sara responded sheepishly.
"What's on your mind?" Jessie looked serious as she tried to get her best friend to open up to her.
"It's nothing." Sara shrugged it off and began gathering her stuff.
Jessie grabbed her wrist softly; not letting her put her textbook away just yet.
"It's not nothing Sara," She looked her in the eyes, trying to read her, "Something is bothering you."
Sara sighed and looked around nervously, "I just don't know how you do it."
"Do what?" Jessie raised one eyebrow in question.
"Talk to girls so confidently when you either know they're straight or you have no clue if they are." Sara shook her head, "I can't even talk to girls."
"It's all attitude," Jessie smiled at her, "If you tell yourself you're confident, eventually you will be. You just need to stop caring what people think somewhere along the road to confidence."
Sara shook her head slowly, "I don't know if I can do that Jess."
Jessie tightened her grip on her best friend's wrist, "Look at me Sara."
Sara obeyed and looked her friend in the eye.
"Before you met me I was insecure and always worried what people thought about me," Her face changed into a half smile, "And now I don't give a shit about what they think. And you know what that's gotten me?"
Sara shook her head.
"It's gotten me two girlfriends," Jessie's mouth was now forming a wide grin, "And several people's numbers at coffee shops," Sara chuckled as she remembered all the guys that wrote their numbers on napkins only to be turned down by Jess, "It also got me an awesome best friend; because I was myself with you and I didn't care what you thought."
Sara returned the smile, "Really?"
"Yes," Jessie gave her a hug over the desk, "And I now know the real you, and the real you is awesome. Let other people see her, okay?"
Sara bit her lip and nodded, "Okay."
Jessie gave her a quick peck on the cheek, "I'll see you after class."
Sara rubbed the tears off of her cheek, "Thanks Jess." She smiled and pulled Tegan in as close as possible without them becoming one person. Sara fell asleep quickly, taking comfort in the comfort that she was giving to her girlfriend. She dreamt of Jessie and Tegan meeting each other. And it was a beautiful, pleasant dream.