Sorry for the longish break? Story time! So I live in Japan and got caught out in a typhoon in the middle of nowhere because of a train accident. And then got reaallllllly sick. But better now. So here!

Hope weakly opened his eyes. It was a dull kind of reflex. He had been sleeping or at least unconscious for a time. While he had no real concept of time, Bhunivelze had told him that he had been with the god for around 50 years now. According to the God, it would take much more time then that. Hope didn't think time moved in this place though. Or at least not in a way he could track. In this place he was sure that God controlled everything. If he remembered that Bhunivelze had said that it would take another 100 years to make him perfect. Whatever that meant.

Feeling a little bit better. According to the weird calendar thing that Bhunivelze was using to taunt him it had been at least a week since the other had begun to withhold nourishment from him. He wouldn't call it food but whatever it was diminished the feelings of hunger and thirst and with that gone, it was now constantly on his mind. He sat up slowly, he body felt unusual. Looking down he realized that he was back in his original body again.

Dread coursed through his veins at that. Whatever Bhunivelze was doing to try and make him retain the shape that he preferred the mage to be in was probably the worst of all the torment. But for some reason it still wasn't permanent. He had really thought that it had taken this time, lasting much longer then the other times. Stretching his body gingerly, he wasn't in pain right now but he never knew what would trigger it.

He could feel the presence of the God. After he never went away, it was his space. He looked down at his body and felt even more uncomfortable, the bloodless gashes the covered his nearly nude body were disconcerting and he turned his face away from it to look into the endless darkness that existed around him. For being trapped by the God of Light, he was often trapped in darkness and other forms of sensory depravation.

"I guess I underestimated how difficult transformation would be on a human body… but I do need you alive." The voice murmured and Hope turned his head to face that direction. "You're imperfections pain me greatly but your promise and potential are so great."

"Why me?" Hope asked bitterly, something he was sure he'd said before. This time though God laughed.

"You are the greatest… Their brightest and yet you never realized. Within humans is their curse. The chaos. And it is something that I can barely co-exist with. So I slept and I acclimated myself to be able to deal with as much chaos as I could. Sadly it was not much…"

"I don't…" Hope coughed from his horribly dry throat. "I don't understand."

"The things that come from chaos are you humans and the monsters. But my perfect beings and those that come from crystal come from me." If the God, no monster before him could smile he surely would. He thought of the Fal'cie that he and Noel had defeated. He thought of the others that he had killed during his original journey. He thought of the Puslian armories aboard the Ark. And then it clicked.

"My ability… to talk to machines comes from you?" He asked his eyes wide.

"Yes. Through out your pitiful life, and the pitfall lives of many other humans… A shard of myself was there. Sleeping, getting use to the chaos. But you for some reason was the first to be able to access it. The accumulation of all of what I had placed onto the world. And not only did you someone how gain it all… You managed to use it in concert with the powers of chaos."

"Which makes me the perfect host." Hope stated bitterly as he looked away. "In my body is a bitter harmony between chaos and light that shouldn't even exist."

"But it should exist!" The God practically crowed. "I've been waiting a long time for this to happen. For this to mature into a bond that I could use. You will be the perfect tool."

Hope licked his lips and considered his options. There was no way to kill himself and he could feel the things that made him who he was wavering. But still, Bhunivelze had not yet been able to affect the parts of him that were steeped deeply in his emotional investments. It was really all that he had.

The air was thick. And more so uncomfortable. He was by himself and he couldn't feel the presence of Bhunivelze. The man felt nervous. There was no way he could have escaped a god. He sat up slowly and looked around. The place he was at looked remarkably like his apartment back in 400AF. He moved over to the side and stood up. The floor was cold on his feet and he shivered. He moved slowly, cautiously and exited the room.

Outside were things that he'd never expected. The apartment was quiet, obviously early morning. He itched for his boomerang or at least his magic but knew that none of that was within his reach. Everything looked exactly the way that he remembered it. Expect the photos. Instead of the usual photos. His family portrait was sitting in its usual place but beside it were many other pictures. Pictures of Lightning, and the others but also pictures of Noel. Pictures of him and Noel together.

Before him was a line of pictures that showed a happily life, but also a life he hadn't lived. He picked up one that spoke to him in particularly. He was leaning into Noel and it was sunset. It looked like New Bodhum behind them. On Noel's face was a smile that he'd seen maybe once or twice. Soft and almost shy as he curled his arm around Hope. It made him wonder what the story behind such a picture was. Noel only wore that smile when he was particularly pleased about Hope's reaction to something he really wanted.

"Hope… what are you doing in here?" It was Vanille's voice and she was stretching as she walked out from some unforeseen room. Maybe a guest room? When she saw what photo he was holding, her face fell and immediately came closer and grasped his hands around the photo. "You should really be in bed you know."

"What are you talking about?" He asked quietly and she bit her lip, seemingly hesitant to respond to him. Finally she moved to take the photo from his hand but he found himself tightening his hands around the photo.

"Please Hope… don't do this. They wouldn't want this." She tried as she moved to take the photo from him again.

"Who? What are you talking about?" He asked again and Vanille shook her head.

"Don't do this Hope! You can't just block out the accident to make yourself feel better." She was beginning to act in a way wholly uncharacteristic for Vanille. "The tunnel collapsed and they are all dead. There's just us and you better get use to it. I can't do this without you!"

Hope's throat closed up. Was this reality? That can't be right. He tried to search his memories for what he remembered last. He tightened his grip on the photo. The last time he'd seen that smile on Noel face was when they had rekindled their relationship after he had lost a good portion of his memories. These photos were important.

"You aren't Vanille." He replied confidently as he stared up at her. "And this isn't real."

"Denying reality won't help anyone." Vanille replied as she reached for the photo again. Hope stood up and moved back towards the bedroom.

"I don't know who you are or what this is. And I don't care." Hope grabbed another photo this one of everyone together. Something that had never had happened but just as familiar feeling as the one he'd already taken. "But I know that this has to do with him and I won't fall for it!"

"You would really deny God? You poor thing."

Hope jerked awake with a gasp of pain as if something had slammed into his chest. He hands clenched and unclenched as if searching for those pictures. The keys to his emotions and memories. He swallowed hard and stared up at the dark sky.

"This is proven more difficult then I thought. Pain was a sufficient lesson for Pulse and Lindzei." Bhunivelze seemed almost troubled.

"I won't… You can't take these things away from me." Hope claimed as he sat up, slowly, gingerly. "I won't let you."

"You're form disgusts me. I guess we should work on the physical a while before we trying taming your chaos again."

The painful tearing sensation started again and Hope closed his eyes to it. He bit into his own lip to try and keep from screaming. It felt as if his limbs were slowly being ripped off. He tried to flex his fingers but all he managed to do was spark more pain into his being.

As his threshold for remaining conscious was reached and passed he moaned in pain and thought gingerly of that photo of himself and Noel. That quiet sweet smile. Even though the pain he forced himself to focus all that he could on it. All he wanted was to see Noel again. He would give anything.

When Hope became conscious to himself again he was in his fourteen year old body again. He wept in relief as he saw that the handkerchief tied around his neck was still the wrong color. It had come to represent to him that there were parts of himself that still belonged to him. He gingerly sat up and looked around. Bhunivelze hadn't revealed himself yet but it was only a matter of time.

"I know you're there." Hope finally spoke, his patience was worn thin. "You are no god! You're a monster! There are people suffering on the world below. People who need you to be their god! And yet you sit here perversely experimenting on me to some useless end. Whatever it is. I won't help you. You disgust me and you will never understand me either."

There was a low chuckle as Bhunivelze considered his minor rant. Hope knew that he had basically been shouting into the void for all that it would do to help him. But he hadn't expected the God to react so calmly. He had lately been reacting with rage and swift punishment. Hope was lifted up by his arms. As thin wires of light wrapped around his wrist and tugged him up.

"My, my… You still don't get the grace of the divine. Here and now you are helping your brethren." Bhunivelze murmured as his large hand came up and cupped Hope's body to study it. "The Fal'cie were horribly imperfect creations… And you all were unfortunately created with no real design other then to be l'cie and puppets. Such a waste."

"It's not a waste! We create our own destinies!" Hope growled and the light pulled taunt. It hurt and he resisted the urge to cry out in pain.

"You my lovely hybrid. Are to be the prototype of the new humanity that will exist in the new world. You're purification will allow me to create the new humans. Humans that share in my consciousness, that shall be perfect. Perfect beings for a perfect world."

"NO!" Hope began to struggle in earnest. He knew that he'd never actually be able to escape but all that he worked for. His entire life work, the reason that he had traveled to the future and abandoned everything that he knew and loved. This God planned to squander everything he believed in. "I won't let you! I won't! I—"

His words were cut off as pain that seemed unimaginable coursed through him. He had pushed too much this time maybe? Did it really matter? He couldn't hold back the screams of pain, he couldn't conjure the image of Noel and the others in his mind. There was nothing but the pain.

Hope woke quickly, his body sore and bloody. He wasn't in the dark place anymore. Or maybe he was and it was just different now. In the direction that was most likely up was a distant star. It was small and a bluish green, like a cure spell that had been stilled. He reached his hand up for it slowly. Maybe it was something that could give him the smallest shred of relief. Instead the star only seemed further and further away.

"I've pushed your consciousness too far. Relish this break in your training."

This time when Hope woke up in his apartment in 400AF he was ready for the manipulation. But instead there was nothing. This place he'd come to understand, was his own headspace. A 'physical' manifestation that was created inside his head to represent his mind. It was comforting to move around the place and see the photos of his family and friends. Even if they were false, phantoms of things that would never happen.

He was alone but he didn't mind. He got up slowly and shrugged on a robe and headed out into the living room where the pictures were. He knelt in front of the coffee table and reached for the two pictures that had saved him last time. Noel's soft little smile. And the picture of them all together. He looked at the other pictures and found a little smile crossing his face.

All the pictures were beautiful he thought as he gingerly touched them. There was one though, that warmed his heart in a way that he hadn't thought he'd feel again. It was a family portrait but not the same one from his youth. In this one, his mother was sitting down and he was standing at her shoulder. His hands were on her shoulder and she had reached one up to cover his. At her other shoulder was his father, standing prim and proper but with that wistful expression that he often wore after those terrible events with Cocoon. But what made Hope feel so happy. Was that on his other side was Noel. Noel unfortunately dressed in Cocoonian clothes. He looked horribly uncomfortable. But he was smiling, his arm wrapped around Hope's waist like an adoring partner. A strange Pulsian locket was around his neck. Open and he could sort of see the silhouette of an older woman. Maybe his grandmother that Noel was fond of talking about.

Hope felt tears falling down his cheeks. For the first time in a long time not of pain or sorrow. He felt happy? Was that what this feeling was? Sure the photo was fake but it was the sentiment. The idea of seeing his immediate family all together in mundane portrait. It gave him courage to face the pain that he knew was coming.

When Hope woke up again, he had a new resolve to fight. Bhunivelze regarded him carefully and then sighed deeply. He seemed troubled by Hope's reactions. He lifted Hope up and placed him inside of what seemed like a box. When the lid shut, Hope felt nervousness set in. Curling up into a corner he waited for the box to open.

Little did he knew that it would be closed for a long time.