Emily was nervous to look Raph in the face after talking with April, but she didn't have to worry. When they got back, Raph was nowhere to be found. Casey was back, sitting on the couch and saving a seat for April, but the one person Emily was thinking about at that time was not there.

And that worried her.

She grabbed her sweater and carefully put it on, heading outside, only a quick glance to Splinter, who had come out of the dojo after Emily had jogged back down the stairs. He had heard or seen none of what happened, but he knew. Something was wrong with Raph. And after what had happened before, they both thought the worst.

She grabbed the knives and tied them around her thin left thigh. She had gained weight during her time with the brothers and now only weighed a handful of pounds over one hundred. But she could pack a punch. She searched the sewers she knew, and could not find him. She even ventured outside what she knew, but he was nowhere to be found.

This it suddenly occurred to her, 5th and Madison. It was a long walk, but he was there when she climbed the fire escape, sitting in the same corner he had been the last time she met him up there. His eyes were on the ground, his hands clasped in front of him. "Hey, Em." He sighed, not even looking up.

"Hey, Raph." She answered quietly. Walking over to him, she kneeled in front of him. "What's wrong, big guy?"

He looked up with a sad smirk. "Just thinkin'. What brings ya up here?"

She smiled a small but friendly little tilt of the lips. "Just thinkin'." She mocked gently. "Actually, I've been looking for you for almost an hour."

"Ya didn't have to look for me. I can find my own way home." Raph sighed, looking away from her again.

She touched his arm gently. "Sorry, Raph, I just got worried. I still remember that Foot guy. I don't want you to get hurt."

"I can take care of a Foot soldier. A Foot Ninja too for that matter." He stood up and walked away from her. "Go back to the lair, Em. You're the one that can't take on a Foot soldier. Go home."

That was the last straw on the camel's back. Emily stalked over to Raph and stood in front of him, her temper boiling over. "You want the truth? I came up here because I was worried about you stupid, selfish, arrogant, son of a…"

"What did you say?" Raph shouted back at her vehemently. "I came up here to think about a way to keep your perfect little world happy! I am doing everything I can not to ruin your life, so just go home!"

Emily was fed up. Absolutely fed up. Between realizing she loved the person who drove her up the wall half the time, finding out that he was gone, and then having the object of her affections not appreciate her efforts at all, she was surprised she hadn't punched him yet. But she did slap him in the face. "Fine, I'll go home! I will go back to that safe haven that you are going to screw up wither way. I came up here because for some reason I love you! Did you hear that Raphael? I love you! Now leave me alone." That's when the tears started streaming down her face, burning on her cheeks. She quickly walked off towards the fire escape, but Raph grabbed her arm tightly, tight enough for her to call out a little in shock and pain.

"Not so fast, Emily. Ya think you're the only one here who cares? Why do ya think I'm up here? I'm tryin' to figure out if I can deal with seein' ya every day and ignorin' the fact that ya mean somethin' to me! Em, I care 'bout ya too much to see ya get hurt, but I gotta say this. I love ya, but this ain't right. I wanna be with ya. I'd give anythin' to be with ya. But ya deserve better than me. I don't want ya stuck down in that sewer wit' me. Ya could have a life up here!" he opened his arms to the city lights. "Ya could find another guy that ya could fall in love wit'. Have a family up here. I can't give ya any of that no matter how much I love ya. For both of us, let's move on. We aren't made for each other. And let' just leave it at that."

Emily's tears stopped themselves out of sadness. "Alright. We can move on."

"Agreed."

"Good night, Raphael."

"Good night, Emily."

She didn't sleep. She didn't eat breakfast the next morning. She was just empty inside. A pep talk from April was the only thing that dragged her out of her room. But straight to the dojo. Heavy bags were better than therapists. They didn't judge and they didn't make assumptions about what was wrong.

Pizza was the only thing that dragged her away, but then she was right back. But Raph was in the dojo, waiting for her with his arms crossed. "Come on, Em. The guys and I were talkin', we might just bring ya with us out on patrol next week. But ya got a lot to learn first."

Training was difficult that day, the shouted confessions from the night before still fresh in their minds. But they had agreed to move on, for everyone's sake. But Emily couldn't meet his eyes without a pang of guilt and a sharp stab of need. The one thing she wanted had come into her grasp just long enough for it to be yanked back.

They weren't meant for each other. Emily knew that. But she could still dream.

Raph had condemned himself to a future without his one distraction. A life alone, without the little spark of love he had been trying to kindle. But his body still craved to see her smile and to feel her gentle touch.

They were both distracted, especially Emily. And it didn't take long for Emily to get pinned, but she still struggled, throwing her weight around underneath Raph's inconsiderate grip.

"Give up, Em." Raph hissed; his hot breath on her neck.

She bucked against him, her chest and stomach hitting his warm plastron. "No." she growled, feeling his fingers tighten on her arms and her shoulders scratched as they dug into the bamboo mat. She hissed from the sharp pain, her body rising up from the floor as she struggled to get free.

His body finally realized that her small form was pressed against his, her body warm and struggling underneath his hands as his face was close to her neck, her warm and beautiful scent overwhelming his senses. Then his mind succumbed to what he really desired. He lowered his body on top of hers, feeling each muscle of Emily's body move. His lips found her ear again, his breath catching in his throat.

"Emily," he whispered huskily, feeling her struggles stop. "Em, I need you." He didn't know why he was giving away his only secret left, but he had to. He needed her.

She gasped a breath, her arms reaching around to touch his. "But, Raph," she mumbled. "You said…" her eyes frantically searched his.

"I know what I said."

He kissed her hard, his lips forming on top of hers. She couldn't help but moan from the unexpected pleasure. His hands released her shoulders and he rested his forearms on either side of her head. Emily wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling that much closer to him. Raph took the next step, his tongue tracing the outside of her lips. Her mouth responded, opening her lips. His tongue was cool and smooth and went straight after hers. It was a war for territory which Emily won. She rolled on top of him, pinning him to the ground and pushing her body against his.

Raph smiled, bringing her head back down to him and kissing her deeply and roughly. It wasn't long before Raph pushed Emily off of him, pinning her to the wall. His hands roamed her body, touching what he had only dreamed about. And she let him, her own hands busy with his mask.

He just kept wanting more. His hands dropped to the backs of her thighs and lifted her up, pressing his body even tighter to hers. That's when Emily felt the growing heat pushing against her. "Raph," she whispered after pushing him off of her a little. "Raph, what are you doing?" she searched his face, now free of his red bandanna.

He looked down at her, taking in every freckle and every stray strand of black hair and took a deep breath. "What I said last night was true, Em." He took a deep breath, raising one hand to her cheek. "I love ya, I really do. The only thing I said last night that wasn't true was when I said I could move on. Emily, I can't close my eyes without seein ya. You're drivin me crazy, Em. I need ya, and you're willin, I'll prove it to ya tonight."

Emily was speech less, but her heart was racing. She wanted him just as much as he wanted her. "I'm willing." She whispered, gently touching his face. "I need you too. I can't be without you either, Raphael." She closed her eyes and rested her forehead against his, feeling him exhale gently. He was happy. "What do you want, Raph?" she whispered as she smiled, touching her lips to his gently.

"You." He whispered back. Raph adjusted his hold on Emily, supporting her with one arm as his tongue worked its way between her lips again. He made the quick climb up the stairs and to his room faster than he ever had before. Setting Emily on the bed, he broke away for a bit. "Em, ya sure?" he asked, staring at her glistening lips and avoiding staring down at her body.

"I'm sure." She told him gravely, handing him his mask and sliding into his lap. Raph dropped it to the floor, pulling Emily tight to him.

She pulled off her shirt, a sight he had seen before, but not from the front. Next came what he had only dreamed of, her grey sports bra soon joined her shirt on the floor. It was seconds before Raph pulled her out of her jeans and forced her onto her back on the bed, his lips and tongue hot on her neck. With the help of Emily's feverish hands, Raph peeled off his battle gear and climbed on top of Em, guiding her hands to where he wanted to be touched.

Hands explored and lips mingled as moans turned to gasps and two became one.

Emily awoke the next morning with Raph's arms fixed around her waist, one leg hooked around his. Her body was sore, but she didn't mind. She had never been closer or felt more in love than the night before. And it was still a shock that it had been Raph, the one who was usually averted to emotional displays, had told her that he loved her many times, even as they were both falling asleep.

Raph. His eyes were still closed, his mouth hanging open slightly as he slept soundly. His arms were flexed, showing off his impressive muscles. The same muscles, Emily reminisced, she had traced with her fingertips throughout the previous night. She smiled at the memory and gently kissed Raph on the lips, feeling him stir beneath her.

"Good morning, sleepy head." She laughed softly as his eyes slowly opened.

He chuckled and kissed her quickly. "I don't think I've ever seen ya this happy to be awake."

She feigned annoyance and crossed her arms on his chest. "Whatever. So, did you enjoy yourself last night?"

"Of course, did ya?"

Emily was just about to answer when the door was thrown open, Mikey walking in without pause. "Hey, Raph, Splinter wanted us…" his mouth kept moving but now words came out. He saw Emily on his brother's chest, the blue blanket down to her hips, exposing her scarred back, her completely uncovered back with his brother's arms wrapped around her waist.

"Michelangelo…" Raph growled, murder in his eyes.

I'm back!

Know this is very quick succession, but I've had the writer's bug (I think I caught it from my boyfriend).

But here it is. And I know I kinda rushed into things, but this is how it felt it should play out to me. Any complaints? Send me a review and I will explain and defend my reasoning.

So…any thoughts about how Raph will try to kill him little brother?

Any Questions…Comments…Concerns? Send me a review or a PM.

Thanks for reading!

Sincerely,

C M
idkaname