**Author's notes…Wow, thank you for the great responses to this story. Keep letting me know what you think. I'm finding it really difficult to stick to the POV, it's one I never tried before, so there maybe slips. Let me know what you think. Thanks so much.**

September 5

Well, I ventured out of the house today for the first time in weeks. I felt really weird going to my parent's house after a five week absence. I was terrified about what my mother was going to say to me. She wasn't the most understanding woman. When we pulled into the driveway behind my dad's taxi my family appeared in the doorway, all of them. Yikes.

Lester was driving his candy apple red Mustang, which actually brought my dad out of his chair into the driveway for a closer look under the hood. I assured Les I'd be alright in the kitchen with my mother and grandmother. They brought me the standard cup of coffee and Entenmann's coffeecake as we all sat down at the table.

Grandma smiled at me and asked how my special job was going. I nodded back and told her it was slow going, but I was alright. As soon as my mom was out of ear shot she grinned at me. "So are you really shacking up with the hottie in the driveway?"

I about choked on my coffee cake. Then tried to explain that Lester's just a friend that works for Ranger, which made her grin until her dentures threatened to fall out of her mouth.

Then she said, "Ah, you're shacking up Ranger? I'd pick him too. He's got a great package."

I about screamed back at her, "No, I'm not shacking up with anyone. Yeesh." I mean seriously, why was everything about sex with her. Sex, sex, sex. Okay, so maybe it was just making me cranky because I was getting any. Then again, I didn't really want any. I felt about as asexual as they come at the moment.

My mom came back in, obviously she had been hitting her private stash while out of the room. Then she started in with the questions. "Where have you been, Stephanie? Joseph has been looking all over for you. No one seems to know where you disappeared to."

I explained that I'd been working and I'd probably be out of touch for a few more weeks. She still needed to know about Joe so I told her I'd try to get in touch with him when I had a chance. So maybe that was an outright lie. I could call Joe now if I really wanted to. I just didn't and I wasn't planning on doing it anytime soon. Mom's questions were hard to answer, but Joe's would be a lot worse, he was trained to interrogate people.

"Where are you going and why do you need to be out of touch?" She was persistent, asking that question over and over whenever I tried to change the subject.

My answer was always the same. That it was just a job. It wasn't dangerous or anything. I just had a lot of material to go through before I could get back to normal. I told them not to worry about me. I was as safe as can be where I was. None of those things were outright lies either, but I didn't think they were completely buying it. I still wasn't prepared to tell them that I was being treated for mental illness with therapy and drugs, mom would shit bricks.

Just when I thought they were going to let it go, Grandma Mazer started and I was ready to thunk my head on the table. "Are you sure you aren't shacked up with one of them Rangemen?"

I guess technically I was shacked up with Tank. We were living together anyway. I kind of wish I was fucking him or someone. It's weird to not feel any of my normal hormones. I've even tried to diddle myself, but nothing happened. Not even the shower massage worked. I was so broken down there you could parade the Rangemen in front of me naked and I don't think I'd get a tingle.

"Stephanie, are you alright? You're not sick are you?" Mom questioned. I told her that I wasn't, but I don't think she fully believed me, but she let it go.

Grandma launched into some gossip she picked up at the Clip n Curl and told me about the latest viewings, Melinda Pierce died giving birth. I didn't even know that was still a thing in this day and age. When they started talking about how poor Bobby Pierce was going to have to find a new wife to raise his baby I thought it was time to make tracks. I didn't want them to get ideas about fixing me up with the poor bastard.

All in all it went alright, I was out of there in less than an hour without much harassment. I'm sure they were wondering what was really going on, but thankfully they didn't push too much.

My second stop was at Pino's for lunch. I figured it was a good way to run into people I knew as well as get a meatball sub, which I haven't had in six weeks. Lester and I found a table at the back of the restaurant, he took the wall seat and winked when I commented on it. I know I rolled my eyes when he told me, "I got your back, Beautiful, no reason to worry."

I shook my head at Lester. He was sexy and hot and incredibly built. He liked to flirt with me and tease me mercilessly. I wondered if he tried hard enough if he would be able to ignite a fire in my panties. If I asked him to try I wondered if he'd step up to the challenge. Not that I'd ask, okay, just I didn't like the broken feeling.

The usual cast of characters were in for lunch and stopped by with a friendly hello and told me they had missed seeing me stop by the station. Eddie I believed, he was a good friend no matter what. Carl and Big Dog were another matter, I'm pretty sure they missed betting on the shape I'd be in when I brought the skips back, not to mention I haven't destroyed a car since Ranger's car was ran over by the fire truck a couple months ago, but that's another story too.

After lunch Lester drove me over to my appointment with Dr. Westin. He could tell I was in a mood as soon as I walked in. He asked what was bothering me. I blurted out that my doodah was broken.

He smiled at me and told me that the medication I was on decreased my sex drive. I rolled my eyes. The problem started before the medication, though I'm sure the pills weren't helping any. He nodded and told me that it was perfectly normal for people with depression or anxiety disorders to be uninterested in sex too.

I tried to explain that it wasn't just that I wasn't feeling anything when I was around someone attractive, it was also that I couldn't even make the magic happen when I was trying. He wanted to know how long that had been happening. A couple months, I guessed. The last couple times I had sex with Joe I just wasn't feeling it. I didn't want to disappoint him so I let him do his thing and faked it, but I couldn't even get wet much less get off.

He asked if I'd felt anything sexually since my 'accident' on the bridge. I guess he didn't want to say since I got tossed off a bridge. I shrugged at him, but he just stared me down until I answered the question. Yes. I had felt something when Ranger kissed me. He lit up my body like a Christmas tree, but nothing came of it. We weren't at a place in our relationship where we were currently, doing it. Which is a shame, especially now that it's broken. Maybe the use it or lose it rule applies to your doodah too?

Dr. Westin seems to think I don't have anything to worry about. When I start to deal with some of the anxiety or find myself in a trusting relationship I'll be just as sexually responsive as I ever was. We'll see I guess. Until then I guess I'll just walk around like a shell of a woman.