.
And the cold wind is hitting my face and you're gone
.

Everyone is awake in the morning when it's time to see Puck, Blaine, Brittany, Sam and Mercedes off, even Santana. Brittany had decided it would be more fun to drive back with them rather than fly home (anticipating the possibility that Brittany might miss a flight home, her parents had given her a credit card and let her decide when to get a flight, so she's not wasting money on an unused plane ticket). They basically just want to get on the road before noon, so that Sam, Blaine and Brittany can get home before it gets ridiculously late and do any homework they neglected before school the next day. Puck just asks for some coffee and assures the hosts that they'll grab breakfast on the way home, and by 11, the car is loaded and the goodbyes are beginning.

This time, it hurts a little more, because no one is quite sure when they'll hang out again. It may not be until the summer, and even in the summer, it's not as though everyone will be hanging around in Lima; Santana, Kurt and Mercedes, at least, all have commitments in their current cities that will likely keep them there. If anyone is lucky enough to have matching spring breaks, maybe that will yield something, but there are no guarantees.

It's like a harsh reminder that these people are important to her when Quinn says goodbye to them. Sam wraps her in a hug first, and it's nice, he was always a great hugger. Sam was the first ex that she'd really successfully befriended, because he was so forgiving and sweet. And when he'd allowed her to help him and his family when they were homeless, when he'd trusted her with the secret he hadn't necessarily wanted her to even know, they had grown close. Things hadn't been smooth when he returned, because Quinn had been in such a sad state, and Sam dismissing her and her "rich white girl problems" had hurt far more than she thinks he even knew. But they'd moved on from there, too, with their mutual faith, their small measure of trust in each other, and the fact that they interacted without a hint of lingering sexual attraction—for obvious reasons in Quinn's case, and because Sam was so focused on Mercedes. Sam's a great guy, and Quinn knows that they'll forever have each other's backs if need be. She trusts him more than most guys.

Mercedes is next, and Quinn is grateful that she's had a chance to rebuild her friendship with Mercedes. She still feels awful that they really didn't speak Junior year, after everything Mercedes and her family did for her, but, though they've never spoken about it directly, she is certain that Mercedes understands and forgives her. And she's certain Mercedes knows that Quinn visited her family around Thanksgiving, but she hasn't said anything, and Quinn's grateful. It just proves that Mercedes understands how Quinn needs to operate about this. And since God Squad Senior year, they've been growing closer again, and Mercedes is someone she tries to ensure she texts once a week—she pretty much only hears from Rachel more frequently, because Santana and Brittany are so busy missing each other (besides which, she sees Santana).

Blaine is, clearly, the person she's least close to. His hug is warm and happy, much like him, and Quinn realizes as they smile at each other that Blaine has been very lucky. She remembers vaguely hearing Kurt talk about a time when Blaine had been harassed for being gay, but looking at him now, Quinn never would have guessed. He's cheerful and out, and Quinn thinks that, perhaps, something like that could be possible for her. Because neither of them are like Kurt. Both could pass for straight, but Blaine lives openly. Quinn only hopes she can do the same. Someday. When she's ready. Which she's not, because just the thought of telling anyone else has her trembling.

Brittany squeezes her fiercely, and Quinn returns it. She misses Brittany, painfully some days. Brittany was her first friend when she moved to Lima from Belleville. She'd enrolled in cheer camp the summer before ninth grade—before even entering her new school—and Brittany had been the first to talk to her. Quinn hasn't always been kind to Brittany, and regrets the way she'd encouraged Brittany to be cruel as a Cheerio. It hadn't suited Brittany particularly, though she'd done it, and had only occasionally confided in Santana that she didn't enjoy it much. But Quinn misses her sweet disposition, her eagerness to forgive, and her weird, quirky brain. Life just isn't the same without Brittany's stories about Lord Tubbington's adventures.

And Puck…his hug is firm and strong. It's hard to conceptualize what she thinks of Puck. Despite the fact that she generally likes Sam more than Puck, Puck is the closest to her of all her exes. And even though they tend to butt heads any time they talk, and she generally thinks of him as a chauvinistic, idiotic jerk, she loves him, a little. Not romantically, or sexually, but with that little piece of her heart that clings to Beth and can't believe they created such a beautiful human being. In a really stupid, fucked-up way, she's grateful it was Puck that fathered her little girl. And because of Beth, she thinks they'll probably try to support each other all their lives.

But she knows she's not the only one feeling so overwhelmed by this. For Santana, it includes the love of her life and two former beards that she seems to regard quite similarly to Quinn; she always had a soft spot for Sam and though she and Puck clashed just because they were too similar, they were fond of each other. Quinn's not sure how she feels about Blaine, but she knows she has a ton of respect and admiration for Mercedes. For Kurt, his perfect man, his almost-brother and his best friend are leaving. And Brittany, who he always shared a weird kinship with, even before they had that weird fling, and Puck, who he seems to genuinely like in a way he definitely hadn't in high school. For Rachel, Mercedes is one of her best friends, Brittany grew close to her, too. She and Sam don't know each other well, but she and Blaine are freakishly similar sometimes, and it only seems to make them closer, unlike the way it makes Santana and Puck clash. And Puck is the guy who, after a certain point, always made sure to support Rachel. Quinn reflects he was probably kinder to Rachel than he ever was to her, and she gave birth to his child, for God's sake. She'll never quite understand how their Jewish bond works.

She averts her eyes as she watches Santana place desperate kisses all along Brittany's jaw, and Kurt hold Blaine flush against him, hard, for a long, long moment. It's hard to see that kind of intimacy and not long for it, and she can't afford to have that kind of longing right now.

Then, the guests are leaving, and Quinn stands beside Rachel as they wave them out of the building. Santana trembles lightly and struggles to contain her tears as she watches Brittany, and Kurt's sad eyes follow Blaine.

Once they gone, Santana sighs heavily and announces she's going to take a nap and Kurt just pads silently to his bedroom and closes the door softly. Rachel gives Quinn a sad smile and sighs, "I'm glad you're still here."

"Me, too," she smiles back.

Quinn will be in New York for several more days. Her dorm technically doesn't open until the 9th, but she'll be heading back early, on the 5th, because of Stephanie. She's getting her wisdom teeth taken out, and because of some weird qualification in her insurance, she needs to have the surgery in Connecticut to stay in the network. She wants adequate time to recover before classes start, so she'd asked permission to come back early. The resident director of their dorm is already planning to be there, and acquiesced to the request, though they will need to visit a different dining hall on campus until the dorms officially reopen; the one in their building will be closed. Quinn is coming to keep an eye on Stephanie as she recovers.

But for now, she gets to enjoy New York.

Although, life will go on around her. Santana works that night, and Kurt and Rachel work the next day. She'd kind of hoped that she and Rachel might go out and enjoy the city today, but when Rachel confides quietly that she would feel bad leaving Kurt and Santana when they're clearly upset, Quinn agrees that they should stick around. And so they settle on the couch to do what they typically do when they hang out—argue over whether to watch Ally McBeal or The X-Files. Quinn preemptively turns off her phone, just in case Stephanie tries to blow it up like she has so often this break.

Quinn does like Ally McBeal. It's funny, kind of charming, and she identifies some with Ally—it's hard no to, she's designed so that ambitious women will like her. But she pretends to think it's ridiculous to tease Rachel, even though Rachel always notices when she smiles and laughs along. Likewise, Rachel always groans about how creepy The X-Files is, but always gets so into it that she stomps her foot and asks Quinn "Why can't Scully just open her mind to the possibility of extraterrestrials when it's so obvious?!"

Kurt eventually emerges from his room and gives them a wan smile before sitting with them, and when Santana comes out of the bedroom a few hours later after her nap, her face brightens a little to see that everyone is there, so Quinn ends up glad that they decided to stay in. Not to mention, the way she can hear the wind blowing outside, it looks pretty brutal out.

Quinn anticipates spending much of the next few days reading while her friends go about their daily lives, which is fine with her, but several hours into the 2nd, when Rachel and Kurt are both at work and Santana is still asleep, Quinn tosses aside her copy of Wicked (well, not her copy, she'd borrowed it from Rachel's shelf, because she'd secretly wanted to read it for awhile, but didn't want to admit that to Rachel) and finds herself opening the cabinet under the sink in the bathroom until she finds a bleach spray and a sponge.

She doesn't want to be an ungracious guest, and she's been trying to contribute for meals whenever she visits so they don't end up spending much feeding her, but she wants to do more. Their apartment is actually cleaner than it had been around Rachel's birthday; Santana must have made an effort to clean up before all the guests arrived. But growing up, Quinn's house was always kind of absurdly clean, and though she hasn't said anything, her friends' messy apartment makes her wince occasionally.

She remembers her mother teaching her all the different ways to clean—how to polish the silver, or use oil soap on the wooden furniture, the different dusting agents to use on different surfaces, the method of mopping one's way out of a room. Simple stuff. She, Frannie and her mother had been a housecleaning force until around the time Quinn—or Lucy—turned eleven. Then, her father had decided to begin hiring a housecleaner—it had been around the same time he'd started hiring a gardener, too. Quinn isn't entirely sure why he'd made the decision, but Judy hadn't seemed to mind at first. Though Quinn thinks her mother had ended up getting quite bored, however, because it was around then that she'd begin to come home to find her mother a bit drunk and watching soap operas.

But Quinn knows how to clean, and clean well. She is finishing scrubbing the stove—pretty much the only thing left is to vacuum the rug in the common room, which she doesn't want to do while Santana is still asleep—when Santana trudges sleepily out of the bedroom.

"Fabray," Santana grunts in greeting, turning her attention to the coffee pot. She stops and then turns around, folding her arms. "Wait, what the fuck are you doing?"

"A favor," Quinn answers, "I just want to help out. You know, considering how often I'm here."

Santana watches her spray and scrub the stove for a moment, then snorts, "Jesus, you really are a housewife."

"Kindly fuck off," Quinn returns cheerfully, beaming. Santana snorts at the uncharacteristic language and turns back to her coffee machine, and Quinn's smile turns genuine as she finishes the stove. How Santana has made being a total asshole a charming trait, Quinn will never quite know.

Quinn then vacuums, which makes Santana glare and wince, but Quinn just nudges her feet with the vacuum until she rolls her eyes and moves them so Quinn can finish. When Quinn finally feels like the house is clean, she sighs and plops next to Santana, curled up with her Nook on the couch, and picks up her book. She sees the elliptical and shakes her head, "I forgot about that thing," she mutters, gesturing to it. "Next time I get antsy, don't expect me to be your maid, I'll just use that thing."

Santana rolls her eyes, "I hate that damn thing."

Quinn raises an eyebrow, "It is kind of awkward in the sitting room," she concedes.

"No," Santana grumbles, "It's that it's too cold and too dark for me to go running. I tried using that thing and I just hate it. It's fucking boring. I don't know how Rachel uses it every day. I can't wait until spring when I can actually run again. In the meantime, I'd better not balloon up. My ass doesn't need to be as big as yours."

Quinn just ignores Santana's attempted slight—it doesn't even phase her anymore—and runs a critical eye down Santana's body. She doesn't look different. Her arms have even stayed toned—maybe from her work. Still, it surprises her, with how often she just feels the need to run that Santana isn't doing something over the winter. Then again, she thinks to most of the times she's visited and how she knows she'll inevitably find Santana on the couch.

So "You work tonight?" is what she says instead of anything related to exercise.

Santana sighs, "No."

Quinn arches her other eyebrow, "No? I figured you'd be working until I left."

"Yeah, I'd assume so, too," Santana grumbles, "I've only been scheduled for four days this week, three days next week. Everyone says it's normal for hours to be cut in January. Wish I'd known that before I spent my December overtime money on Christmas."

Quinn frowns, "That sucks. Why are the hours cut?"

Santana rolls her eyes, "Damned if I know. I guess business is always slow after New Year's. It's supposed to pick back up in February so I guess I'll just try to be even more frugal than normal."

Kurt makes it back home first, explaining tiredly that Rachel came home with him, but went downstairs to check on the availability of a washing machine. His eyes are exhausted, his shirt stained with food, and "Oh my god," he groans, "My feet are killing me. And I feel so disgusting."

Santana gives him a sympathetic smile, "That good a first day, huh?"

Kurt rolls his eyes, "It was awful. Bussing is horrendous. I'll never be able to wear this shirt again. I can't wait to start serving, at least the tips might make it worth it. But Jesus I don't know how those servers manage to remember everything." He tugs off his stained shirt to reveal his undershirt and falls into the recliner. He doesn't move for a full three minutes before finally sitting up and taking off his shoes. Quinn winces when she notices he's wearing some kind of boot that looks much more fashionable than functional, but at least the shoes appear to be clean.

When Rachel comes upstairs just as Kurt's shoes come off, she chirps greetings to everyone and then fully squeals when she notices what Quinn is reading, "Oh my goodness, Quinn, I'm so thrilled you're reading what is undoubtedly one of my very favorite books! How far are you? I know it starts slow. In fact, it maybe kind of ends a little bit slow as well, but it's such a fascinating take on morality and race and social class, don't you think?"

Quinn just smirks faintly and asks, "Have a good day at work?"

Rachel takes a deep breath, clearly trying to reign in her enthusiasm, then says, "It went well, thank you! We were a little slow. And it is much more fun when Kurt is there with me."

Kurt leans over the edge of the recliner then and announces, "Now that we're all here, I'd like to call a house meeting!"

"Oh, certainly!" Rachel responds, looking surprised, "Let me just…" she takes off her coat and goes into the bedroom to take off her shoes, coming back out in socks. She settles between Quinn and Santana on the couch and smiles expectantly at Kurt, who stands in front of the recliner, winces, then thinks better of it and settles back down. Rachel eyes his feet with a sympathetic gaze.

Kurt, however, no longer looks so exhausted, in fact as he inhales to begin speaking, his face lights up. "I want to discuss next year," he gushes, "I've been talking to Blaine and I think that we should plan to find a three bedroom apartment." He looks at Santana, "Brittany is planning to come to New York as well, correct? That's what Blaine says."

Quinn had overheard Santana and Brittany talking about it a little bit one morning in bed, so she's not surprised when Santana nods, "Yeah. She's working on applications for several dance programs at different colleges." She hesitates, "She's…trying to be realistic, though. She's not entirely sure college is for her, even performing arts college, which I'm trying to convince her she can do, though she's still not sure she'll be accepted. But there are dance studios she can go to that can get her some professional connections and experiences and she's also applying at a couple schools outside of New York that Mike recommended. But, I think she wants to come here. It's looking pretty likely, but not set in stone."

Kurt nods fervently, "Blaine, too. We talked about it and he's applied to several schools up here. He's coming, too." He smiles widely, "So, the way I see it, it will be even easier to afford to live here with five of us in three rooms."

Rachel nods, "That sounds lovely. Not that I don't like sharing with you, Santana," she adds quickly.

Santana scoffs, "Please. We both know it's not ideal. But, I'll admit, it's easier than I thought."

Rachel grins widely, and Kurt clasps his hands together, "Oh my goodness, this is so exciting. I can't wait to have even more of my favorite people here!"

Santana laughs, "When have I ever been one of your favorite people?"

"I must admit it took some time," Kurt smiles, "But you qualify now. I've always adored your girlfriend, though."

Santana sniffs, "Yeah, so much you made out with her," she grumbles. Kurt just kind of shrugs apologetically and Rachel shoots Kurt a guilty glance.

Kurt holds up a hand to her and says, "Don't even start apologizing about you and Blaine. I never want to think about that again." Rachel tries to smile, but it falls a little flat.

Quinn has fallen into a little routine as she visits. Breakfast with Rachel and Kurt, who then head off to work. Reading or watching TV until Santana wakes up, then fighting over what to watch or reading together on the same couch. She's surprised, because she doesn't remember Santana being much of a reader, but she's been devouring her Nook. Her routine finishes off as Santana begins to get ready to go to work herself, and Kurt and Rachel come home. They put together dinner and talk and laugh and watch TV together.

Though Rachel is her best friend and she looks forward to time with her more than anything, she always perks up happily when Santana comes out of her room in the afternoons. Santana had been her best friend, kind of by default, through most of high school, and they used to spend a lot of time watching TV or movies together. Reading together is different, but nice in a strange way. Santana doesn't tell Quinn what she's reading and doesn't seem at all interested in Wicked, which is fine. Quinn's not sure how she feels about the novel. Elphaba frustrates and fascinates her, because of the sacrifices she makes and the changes she forces herself to endure that Quinn struggles with. Perhaps that aspect hits close to home. But Glinda is worse. She winces throughout the entire time she's known as Galinda, because that girl does hit close to home, but she doesn't identify more with Glinda, when she becomes "good," so…what does that make her?

Something about Santana is different, though. She figures it's just the influence of Santana's work, which, as she's heard Santana say a million times, gives her no reason to try to look nice. Nice clothes will be ruined. She's already had to get Kurt to darn a hole in one of her pants pockets. But she also can't remember seeing Santana with so little makeup. She goes to work wearing no more on her face than concealer and mascara. And when Quinn asks her if she wants to go grab dinner, or head downtown, she just shifts uncomfortably and says she won't have time before she needs to get ready for work, no matter what time it is.

Santana's different. Maybe she's grown up, trying to be responsible, but whatever the change is, it makes Quinn frown. I mean, she's even nice now.

.
Do you cry out in your sleep?
.

The day she is set to leave for New Haven, she and Rachel spend the afternoon in the city.

They're mostly looking for cheap or free things to do, and they do actually go to the Rockefeller Center to look at the tree. Rachel's eyes are bright and her smile wide, and Quinn can't help but smile herself at the giant tree. The holidays may be wrapping up, but she still feels a little jolt of powerful feeling when she sees it.

But when Rachel's teeth start chattering, they agree that they should find something they can do inside. To Quinn's surprise, Rachel enthusiastically agrees to visit the Fashion Institute of Technology museum when she reluctantly suggests it. She says Kurt has been trying to make her go for awhile, but she's afraid if she goes with him, he'll glibly hurt her feelings, but she trusts Quinn not to do the same. All the same, Rachel's fashion sense still borders on strange, and is different than what's considered fashionable at large, but perhaps, Quinn thinks, that doesn't mean she's not interested in it. She also reminds herself that Rachel has been working at a clothing store with Kurt. Certainly she's absorbing fashion knowledge in the setting like that.

The fashion on display turns out to be equally strange in many different ways, because so much of it is impractical runway fashion rather than everyday fashion, so it turns out they can both make comments and giggle about the exhibits without worrying. Afterwards, they get some dinner, and then head back to the apartment to get Quinn's luggage, and then Quinn says goodbye to Santana; Kurt is at work. It's less bittersweet to say goodbye there, because she knows she'll see them before too long. She makes Santana promise to give Kurt a hug for her, which makes Santana roll her eyes and say "I'll try," and that's the best she can ask for. And then Rachel accompanies her to the train station and leans into her, hugging her for a very long moment, thanking her for visiting, and Quinn absolutely does not want to leave. But she smiles and adjusts the beanie on Rachel's head, promises her they'll see each other soon, and departs.

It's kind of a late train back to New Haven, at least later than she's taken so far, but she figures it's not a big deal. She texts Lulu her ETA and the response makes her snort.

Lulu: Oh thank god. Steph's driving me
nuts and she won't stop asking when
you're gonna be here. Please come take
her off my hands?

Quinn feels slightly guilty for dawdling in New York, but laughing at Lulu's misfortune is her primary response. Stephanie can certainly be a handful. She figures, she's dealt with Stephanie texting every five minutes all break, so Lulu can have a turn. At least it seems Stephanie is too loopy to use her phone at the moment.

Quinn makes it back to New Haven at around 9:30 at night and texts Lulu to let her know she's back and on her way to the dorm. She walks into her dorm, drops her luggage and sighs. The room is in the same slightly disheveled state as when she left, except for some clothes on the floor. She's about to kick Stephanie's bra back on her side of the room when she stops. And stares.

And wonders, have Stephanie's breasts always been this big?

Unable to stop her curiosity, she picks it up and reads the tag. 36D.

Quinn stares. She has been furiously trying not to notice her roommate's breasts. Luckily, she had a lot of practice from being on the Cheerios, controlling her wandering eye, at least, she thinks so. She can remember frequently stopping herself from looking where she shouldn't all through high school. And she has always politely turned away when Stephanie comes back from a shower, which, of course, Stephanie teases her about sometimes. "Oh, Quinn, you're so modest and innocent!" Which, right, that doesn't make Quinn roll her eyes, because Stephanie has no idea about Quinn's life in high school.

Quinn swallows roughly as she thinks back to when Stephanie taught her to play Starcraft, how close she sat. It's probably the closest they've been and she can remember, vividly, the light press of the swell of Stephanie's breast against her arm.

There's the sound of a key in the door and Quinn tosses the bra away hurriedly and then Lulu is there, opening the door and guiding Stephanie inside. Lulu smiles warmly, but Stephanie grins tiredly and falls into Quinn. Quinn watches her breasts until her eyes cross and then she's feeling them, pressed up against her own torso, as Stephanie squeezes her. She swallows and rolls her eyes at Lulu, trying for casual.

Stephanie is rambling unintelligibly about how much she's missed Quinn, and Lulu just looks at them wryly. Quinn gently disengages herself from Stephanie and takes Stephanie's student ID card and room key from Lulu.

"Thanks for taking her to the dentist and watching her," she tells Lulu.

Lulu shrugs, "No problem. I'll tell you, though, I'm not looking forward to getting mine pulled after watching her mope all day."

Quinn shrugs, "I'm lucky enough not to have them." At Lulu's glare, she shrugs and smiles slightly, "What can I say, I'm highly evolved." As Lulu flicks her eyes up and down Quinn's form and seems to accept this, Quinn wants to laugh. Sure, she looks pretty highly evolved after braces, contacts, cosmetic surgery and heavy exercise.

Lulu meets her gaze again rolls her eyes playfully, "Lucky you. Anyway, Stephanie's still pretty hopped up on painkillers. They gave her some Vicoden for the afternoon and another dose to take tonight, but she should be fine with like extra strength Tylenol tomorrow. They say it was an easy, clean extraction. She slept for a bit of the afternoon, but she'll probably sleep tonight no problem, too." She reaches into her shoulder bag to take out a little orange pill case and a bottle of Tylenol, as well as some cotton wads, "So here's that last dose of Vicoden she should take before bed tonight."

Quinn nods and takes those too, while Stephanie leans against her bed. "Great. Thanks. I'll keep an eye on her," Quinn assures Lulu, who grins.

"Thanks for coming back to New Haven early. My house isn't the best place for someone to recover. My brothers will probably be up half the night doing band practice. Besides, I'm supposed to go to my boyfriend's tonight," she says, her mouth twisting a little guiltily.

Quinn is about to assure her again that it's not a problem, but Stephanie announces, her words thick from the cotton wedged into her jaw, "I don't like your boyfriend."

Lulu looks a little surprised and frown lines appear between her eyebrows, "I'm…sorry to hear that," she responds quietly.

"All he does is whine at you," Stephanie starts.

Quinn interrupts, "I'm going to get you some water, Stephanie, so you can have that Vicoden, and then it's bedtime, okay?"

"Yes, mom," Stephanie mutters.

Quinn walks out with Lulu, "Sorry about that," she mutters.

Lulu smiles a little tremulously, "No, it's okay," she says quietly, "I get the impression none of you like him much. I know I spend a lot of time with him, but I love him, you know?"

Quinn just nods a little, refusing to admit that she kind of agrees with Stephanie. She doesn't know for sure how his conversations with Lulu go, but she just gets the feeling that he guilt trips her about the time she spends with them. With her friends. That just seems wrong.

Quinn waves goodbye to Lulu as she heads down the stairwell and fills up a cup at the water fountain in the hall (Stephanie is picky about food, and has always claimed the fountain water tastes best). When she gets back, Stephanie is perched on the edge of her bed smiling tiredly. Quinn gives her the water and shakes the Vicoden out into her palm. Stephanie spits out the wads of cotton into the trashcan and swallows the pill, finishing off the water.

"You ready for bed?" Quinn asks, and Stephanie nods distractedly. "Where are your pajamas?"

Stephanie gestures vaguely toward her dresser and, swallowing, Quinn tries the top drawer. It's packed full of bras, panties, socks and, yes, a pair of pajamas. Quinn extracts them and hands them to Stephanie, raising an eyebrow. "You got that?"

"Sure," Stephanie mumbles. Quinn turns around, mechanically unpacking her own bags while Stephanie gets dressed.

By the time she's mostly unpacked, Stephanie is curled up on her side, staring at her with heavy-lidded eyes. Quinn smiles gently, "Need anything?"

Stephanie blinks and shakes her head slightly, then murmurs quietly, "Are you going to sleep soon?"

Quinn shrugs a little, "I'm not very tired. Will the light bother you?"

Stephanie shakes her head again, but continues to watch Quinn. Quinn murmurs a goodnight and turns off the overhead light, turning on her computer and desk lamp.

Twenty minutes later, she's in the process of uploading some pictures from New Year's onto Facebook and she happens to glance up. Even in the dim light, she can see that Stephanie is still laying on her side, staring at her. Quinn frowns. "Are you okay? I thought you'd be asleep by now."

Stephanie hesitates for a long moment and then says, "When you come to bed…can you sleep with me?" Quinn's stomach drops a little and anxiety courses through her. She tries to figure out a way to ask Stephanie what in the world she's asking when Stephanie continues, "I just…I've had bad nightmares all my life, and…I'm scared. With how little control I have of my brain, that if I have one, I won't be able to push it away like I learned. I just want to feel safe."

Quinn chews her lip fervently and…well, she figures this could very easily be true. But she can't deny that her heart is thudding with anxiety and uncertainty and a tiny part of her brain is whispering Are you really going to fall for that?

She sets aside her computer and, still in her street clothes, approaches Stephanie's bed. Stephanie gives her a tired smile and scoots back, and Quinn slides between the covers. It's almost like she's on autopilot, she doesn't even know what she's doing.

Stephanie scoots close and Quinn wraps an arm around her. "Better?"

"Yeah," Stephanie breathes. She tilts her head up and her nose nudges Quinn's, sliding against hers a few times. Quinn's breath hitches, but their lips don't meet. There are just…Eskimo kisses.

"I have such a girl crush on you," Stephanie whispers thickly, lowering her head to the pillow and closing her eyes with a note of finality.

Quinn swallows as her stomach flutters anxiously and stays where she is, not moving. She's not tired. Her light is still on. She's not particularly comfortable. Her jeans are bunched awkwardly around her legs. But Stephanie is drifting off to sleep in her arms and she's just…

She doesn't even know what.

It's hours before she falls asleep. She barely moves.

Chapter titles from Robyn, "Be Mine," and Joy Division, "Love Will Tear Us Apart."