Don't kill me. I wrote a chapter and it's out sooner than the last one, right? *hides*
Disclaimer: I am not perverted. The latest chapters of Fairy Tail are very perverted.
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With key in hand and a deflated walk, Loke headed out of the park with a mind full of exasperation and confusion. When his feet decided to stumble, he forced them to move forward, one in front of the other in an endless loop of a pattern. The world was blurred and no longer held the vibrant colors that Loke was so used to. He no longer had a master holding onto his key, giving him the small boost of power that he used in the human world to let him see as a human would. Normally he saw the world through the eyes of a cat; the world was sharpened in the night and slightly blurred during the day.
Loke hated it.
He hated the walking, the heaviness on his heart, the flashbacks, the everything. He was starting to hate the world, although he would never admit that out loud. It would make it seem as if he was more messed up in the head than he was already. He was showing his worst side to Fairy Tail now, so he guessed it wouldn't matter anyway.
The flowers in the planters along the street he was walking down peacefully swung back and forth without a care. The flowers didn't care, so no one else would care. The flowers and the fish and the wood grain were the most important things. The flowers he left on Harry's grave, the fish Harry taught him to catch, the grain that Loke traced. If they didn't care, then the opinions of the rest of the world didn't matter. Not even Lucy's.
Loke clutched his key tighter, letting the dull pain of the engravings pressed into his hand alleviate the metal pain he was having. There was too much pain. There was too much thinking about Harry and others.
Loke slowly walked towards the guild building, alone with his life- with his literal life- in his hands.
The sky above seemed to flash from day to night, but it may have just been his mind messing his perception of the world up. Spirits operated off of a different time system than those in the human realm, and it was a common occurrence for a spirit to lose track of time.
Streaks of pink were blazing through the sky as Loke trudged into Fairy Tail. The wooden gates looked pink as a result, making it seem as if little fairies were dancing outside of Fairy Tail.
"Loke!" Gray called from the doorway. As usual, the ice mage was wearing only his boxers. "Lucy said that you might come by!"
So Lucy still cared about him then? Anger boiled up in Loke's chest.
"Yeah," Loke responded, his throat threating to choke him. His heart beat fast and, oh kami, what was he doing?
He was lost, confused, and there was no Harry to set him straight.
"Are you okay?" Gray asked as he walked towards Loke. "You seem a bit more pale than normal."
There was no Harry. Loke had thought this so many times, so many ways, but there had never been such a negative effect on his body and emotions. In the past, it had been a reassurance that Harry was gone and that Loke should move on, but now?
Loke's arms shook. His muscles clenched and unclenched, overworking themselves for-
"Loke?"
He felt like a deer in the headlights, always ready to run but never able to.
"Hey, Loke?"
Never able to run.
"Shit. Mira? Loke's freaking out here."
Stuck next to the memories of a dead man.
"Mira?"
Paralyzed.
"Shhhhh…. Loke. Calm down. Breathe in and out. In and out. It'll be okay honey."
Loke couldn't. His breathes refused to come in an orderly fashion, his mind raced even when he tried to silence his thoughts. His body twitched and his hands spasmed, causing his key to drop to the ground. He could feel where it left imprints in his hands, and where its power had touched his own.
"Gray, we need Wendy. Can you go fetch her please?"
"Yes."
Loke didn't need anyone. He just needed no one in his head and near him and blaming him and hating him and raising him and influencing him and loving him. He didn't need any healing.
"Tell her to grab Lucy as well so she can fix this shit storm that she started, will you?"
"Is it really that important? She was pissed last time I saw her."
"Yes."
Loke didn't need Lucy or Wendy. He didn't need anyone, he reassured himself once again. He was an independent man with his own thoughts who didn't live in the past. He also lied to himself more than he would like to admit, but that held no significance in his life, or at least he tried to convince himself so.
"I don't think that she'll help at all-"
"She's his master at this point, Gray. Now, get on it."
Loke could barely hear Gray's heavy footsteps over his own breathing. Mira placed her hand on Loke's back and rubbed it, but he pulled himself away, still gasping, still denying. Loke didn't need Mira either. He needed no one. That was his new motto, if he hadn't had one before. Any other motto seemed insignificant in comparison.
"Hush little child, don't make a peep," Mira began to softly sing as she scooted back over to Loke. He wasn't a child though; he didn't need her help. "Momma's got a tale to help you sleep. There lived a bird, in a high nest, thought that he was lesser than the rest. Little birdie flew one day, met a good friend in a blue jay. Made his nest with someone new, and that little birdie might someday be you."
Loke bit his lip and fell to the ground. His breaths hitched yet again, but this time there was a different reason. He could imagine a young man singing a song so similar in his childhood, lyrics so different, yet tune the same. Loke almost saw Harry standing in front of him, kneeling down and placing a small bandage over a wound on a smaller boy's leg, a smile on his defined face.
There was something wrong with him, he'd established that, but why was he acting like such an idiot, running around and being such a child? He had to fix it before someone else got involved. For some reason, memories of Harry cleared his mind and allowed him to think of these things.
Taking one last deep breath and holding it, Loke tried to stop his racing mind. He succeeded, and opened his eyes as wide as they could go. His blonde hair flopped to the side as colors seemed to filter into the world once more and everything sharpened.
Loke noticed a single figure and the world was more defined than ever before.
Right over Mira's shoulder was a six foot man cloaked in a long black robe with an ornate patch over his heart.