.
Your walk, your talk, your dress
.

When Glee ends and the day is over, Blaine smiles sort of automatically and gathers his things.

Even though he feels like he gets along with everybody in the club and has befriended several, he's still not the guy that has somebody waiting for him once the day is over to walk out to the parking lot together.

He feels sometimes like he was born in the wrong era. He just doesn't get the appeal of video games—watching his friends play Super Smash Brothers in New York, well, he could admit it was kind of cute, though he was surprised to hear that Kurt plays it with fair frequency. And he likes superhero movies, sure, but it's more because they tend to have the kind of compelling plots he likes in movies. He doesn't watch them for the special effects or anything.

He feels old sometimes. And that's why, perhaps, he's sometimes so lonely. He thinks Kurt and Rachel probably both feel the same way sometimes, but they're both so far away right now, and at least they have each other…

It's also why Karofsky has become a startlingly good friend. In an attempt to have more to talk about, Karofsky had watched some classic movies Blaine had recommended, and, as it turned out, Karofsky is something of a secret romantic, and had loved them. Blaine loves that they can talk about them together. He hadn't even tried to get Karofsky into the really romantic ones at first; he'd recommended kind of darker ones like A Streetcar Named Desire and On The Waterfront (maybe he just likes Marlon Brando, so sue him) to get him used to a black and white film, but when he'd heard just how much Karofsky ached for poor Blanche DuBois, he'd started recommending epic love stories, which he'd loved.

Sometimes Sam or Artie will end up walking out with him, but today, they're talking excitedly about Puck and some video game. Brittany and Tina, the two others he feels most comfortable with, are equally engrossed in a discussion about Black Swan as they leave. Blaine feels like his face is a grimace as he hefts his shoulder bag over his head and prepares to leave.

And he notices Wade waiting for him.

"Hey," Blaine greets, giving her his most winning smile.

"Hi," Wade says, her light voice not much more than a whisper, "Can I talk to you?"

"Of course," Blaine smiles, "Here, or…?"

"Here's fine," Wade says, her eyes skimming around the room anxiously. She heads to the door that the students exited from and closes it. Blaine sits down curiously on a seat in the first row. Wade sits next to him, adjusting her chair so they're facing each other a little. Blaine copies her movements and tries to keep his expression open and encouraging.

"I think…" Wade begins, swallows, and her voice comes out with a little more power, "I think I'm ready to become Unique. On a more…daily basis."

Blaine feels his face light up because, well, Wade wants his help, and he can do that. And also because, well, "Congratulations, Wade," he gushes, "I'm proud of you. It's not going to be easy, but I'll be glad to support you however I can."

"Thanks," Wade says quietly, a brief smile appearing, "I'm not sure what to do first. Walking into school one day, that's terrifying. I guess I…want to try something smaller first."

Blaine considers, "You could come over to my house for dinner or something, although I understand that's not much of a step." He frowns, "That reminds me. Are you safe? At your house, I mean?"

"Oh. Yeah," Wade nods, "My parents know. My dad…well, he was devastated, and didn't talk to me for about six months, but my mom eventually talked him through his feelings." She eyes Blaine a moment, "I'm lucky, you know. Because my extended family? None of them could really accept it. My…cousin is Azimio Adams. He graduated last year. He's the reason I didn't go to McKinley, even though it was the closer school. His family refuses to talk to me."

"That's terrible," Blaine responds sympathetically, touching Wade lightly on her arm.

Wade squirms, slightly uncomfortably, "I would like to come to dinner, but…I need something more. I don't feel like I can just go out to the Lima Bean or anything yet. That's too much…daylight. Too much of a chance of being recognized before I'm ready."

The idea hits him and he barely restraints himself from applauding the way Kurt does when he's struck with inspiration. He drops his voice, "I'm going to the gay bar with some friends in a few weeks. I'm sure we could get an ID for you, and it would probably be the most welcoming place you could go to in Lima."

Wade's eyebrows knit together and she says gently, "You know I'm not gay, right? I'm a straight woman."

Blaine smiles, "It doesn't matter. Brittany's going, and she's bi, and I think Tina asked to come, too, and she's straight. She says dancing with gay men is great because they aren't crude. So you'll be safe. We just won't go on drag queen night," he finishes absently, thinking of how flamboyant Unique tends to be and not quite realizing what he's said.

Her eyes are hard as she says, "I am not a drag queen."

"I know!" he says quickly, "I'm sorry. I just…Unique's style…I don't want people to assume."

She doesn't seem to hear his excuse and continues, "I'm not a gay man with a feminine persona. I'm not a man who prefers to present as a woman. I'm a woman, Blaine. I am Unique, inside. It's just an insult to me to use my real name when I look like this," she gestures dismissively toward her body, in her men's jeans and polo shirt.

"I understand," Blaine murmurs, "I'm so sorry. It was a very poor choice of words. I don't doubt your gender identity in the slightest. But I still think, if you're up for it, it would be a good place for you to get your feet wet. And I've been there before. They don't tend to care much about whether or not you're underage. I think they know there's nowhere else really safe for young queer kids to go."

Her eyes have softened, but she's still regarding Blaine uncertainly, until she finally breathes, "Okay. I'll give it a try."

"Wonderful," Blaine breathes, "I'm happy for you. Unique—you—are gorgeous."

She dips her eyes bashfully, "I know," she whispers lightly, "Thanks for, you know. Being willing to help me out."

"Any time," Blaine promises.

.
My heart needs a love dance
.

Their first performance is tomorrow, on Thursday night, and she's really excited. Working with the cast of this play has been incredibly fun, and she's gotten to know them better than the South Pacific cast. It's with excitement and a delicious sort of adrenaline-filled apprehension that she strides into the dressing room to prepare for their final dress rehearsal.

She's a little early, and as she enters, she sees the only other girl there is Gretchen, who sits on a folding chair with her legs tucked beneath her, reading. She's already in her costume for her first scene, and an array of makeup is spread in front of her, but she doesn't seem to be in a hurry to apply it.

"Hello, Gretchen," Rachel greets, her tone faux-friendly.

Gretchen's eyes lift barely from the book, "Rachel," she returns expressionlessly before returning to her reading. Rachel seethes silently as she unpacks her collection of stage makeup from her messenger bag. There's something about Gretchen that has rubbed her the wrong way since they met. Something about how laconic and cold she is, that she seems like she doesn't give a damn about anything. When she gets onstage, she's suddenly able to convey anything, which just infuriates Rachel further. Where is this girl's passion? Rachel firmly believes in drawing inspiration from life, and if Gretchen is that stoic…Rachel can't fathom how she acts. It must be empty.

They don't speak otherwise until more girls start arriving. Rachel greets all of them happily, Gretchen nods to each one that enters, though she speaks if spoken to, and mostly pays attention to either her book or her makeup. The other girls are okay; not really people Rachel wants to get to know better, not like the guys, but she keeps a good rapport going. It's important to be easy to work with in this business, at least at this juncture. It's a change from high school, to be sure, but not being the most talented person in a fifty mile radius had quite a sobering effect on her.

She looks forward to the day when she can be a diva again.

And their dress rehearsal is actually quite marvelous. Rachel's arguments onstage with Gretchen are fiery, her entreaties to Jeremy's Theo/Theseus are heartrending and his matching painful uncertainty is palpable. After curtain call, Jeremy laughs and hugs Gretchen, then turns to literally lift Rachel into the air and twirl her. She shrieks, her stomach jolting slightly at the feel of being lifted by someone again, and he plants a kiss on her cheek as they spin.

"You're coming tomorrow, right?" Jeremy asks her after he sets her down.

"Jeremy!" she replies, scandalized, "I wouldn't miss the opening show, are you insane?"

He laughs heartily, "Oh, believe me, I don't doubt that, but I meant to the cast party!"

Rachel's smile falters, "Oh, I um. I didn't know there was one."

Jeremy blinks in surprise and runs a hand through his floppy dark hair. "Wait, really?" He turns with a frown, hollering, "Gretch!"

She turns, her blank face regarding Jeremy, "Yes?" she asks, the barest uptick of her eyebrows communicating…impatience?

"You forgot to invite Rachel to the cast party?" he pouts.

Gretchen turns her cool blue eyes onto Rachel, and her head tilts to the side, "So I did," she admits without a trace of shame or apology, "My mistake. Rachel, I do hope you can make it to the cast party. You'll fill her in, Jeremy?" With that, she turns and walks away.

Jeremy watches her go, shaking his head with a little smile, "Her head's always in the clouds," he explains to Rachel, who fights to keep her expression sympathetic to his words, because seriously? Did he not just see how she tried to snub Rachel? "But in all seriousness," Jeremy says, facing her again, "You're coming, right?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Rachel smiles at him, a little forced.

He expels a dramatic puff of air, "Good!" he grins, "I was so hoping I'd see you there. Can I…take you to the party?" he asks, abruptly uncertain.

"Please," Rachel nods, "I love for you to accompany me." She's thinking primarily of the fact that she doesn't know where Gretchen lives, or even precisely when the party is, but after a few moments, the implications of his query hit her and her eyes get wide.

He's smiling, relieved. "Great. We'll go together tomorrow, it's gonna be right after the show. See you for the first show, short stop!" He hurries away, grinning bashfully at nothing.

She leaves the building a bit unsteadily, wrestling with whether or not she believes what has just occurred. Kurt meets her at the adjacent library; he hasn't met her in the theater yet because he hasn't wanted any show spoilers. On their way home, he tiredly rests his head against her shoulder—no doubt exhausted from working for the past nine days—and Rachel gnaws her lip. She knows that, if Jeremy hadn't been the one to ask her, she wouldn't be going to this. She's really only going because the idea seemed to make Jeremy so happy, and she likes him. He's talented, sweet, a little goofy. Strong. Cute.

It's when she's crawling into bed that night that she thinks of it. Blaine, smiling at her uncertainly, telling her the best way to get over her ex is to get under the next.

And while…yeah, she's pretty sure she's over Finn, well…it can't hurt to put some real distance between them, can it?

She thinks back to her last interaction with Jeremy, to the way he always seems to pay her special attention, despite his bond with Gretchen (who gazes at him with what Rachel is sure is real longing when they're onstage together), and she smiles wickedly as she burrows her head down further into her pillow.

.
Cleansing everything to forget your love
.

Their first performance is very, very strong.

It isn't perfect, of course. There's always something to improve. Neal falters over one of his words, but recovers well. Rachel is disappointed with the word she chose to emphasize in one of her lines as she was saying it, and Jeremy cracks a brief smile at the wrong moment during an intense scene with her. She also thinks she got the timing wrong on a line in which she interrupts Gretchen, and Jeremy's encounter with their Minotaur comes close to knocking over some important scenery.

Gretchen's performance, though, is infuriatingly flawless. She portrays Ari/Ariadne's adoration and worry for Theo in such a sympathetic way that Rachel can feel the audience holding their breath.

After curtain call, the cast is laughing and hugging joyfully, elated from their successful performance. Rachel hurries off into the dressing room to get ready for the cast party.

The Little Black Dress makes a reappearance in her life.

Her hair is meant to be curly for this role, which is always a hassle. It never quite curls right when she leaves it to its own devices, which requires her to use curlers overnight or a curling iron, and though her hair has gone a little limp from the sweat of adrenaline and stage lights, it will have to do. Likewise, it's not worth trying to touch up the stage makeup caking her face. She can't make it subtle, and she doesn't want to keep Jeremy waiting by starting her makeup all over again.

She hopes her outfit will do her justice where the rest of her appearance fails.

She knows the dress is sexy. When she wore it to Puck's party over the summer, it was the first thing anyone commented on when they greeted her, which had felt good.

She follows a few other girls out of the dressing room, her messenger bag and coat over her shoulder, her heels clacking loudly in the hallway. She meets Jeremy in the lobby of the theater and smiles, feeling only slightly silly for her rumpled hair and messenger bag instead of a demure purse. But Jeremy's eyes widen slightly as he takes in her outfit, though he wipes his expression clean quickly. He chuckles a little, "You look great, short stop. You ready for the party?"

"Lead the way, good sir!" she responds pompously, and he laughs, helping her on with her coat before offering his arm. Gretchen seems to be rallying the rest of the cast and crew, reminding everyone where her apartment is and offering her phone number in case anybody gets separated from the group or anybody wants to head home before going to the party. About half of those involved are heading straight for her apartment, so she leads the group out of the theater toward the subway.

Rachel momentarily regrets wearing her heels as they walk to the subway station—which really isn't that far, but seems much further in the two-inch heels. Jeremy holds her arm, though, smiling at her. Gretchen glances behind her several times, her eyes flicking over Jeremy and Rachel together, and sometimes dipping down to look at Rachel's shoes with a little scowl.

Gretchen's stop is only a few down from the school, and her apartment is very close to the stop. It's also clearly in a much nicer neighborhood than Rachel's—it's better lit somehow, with less trash on the street. Her apartment is also kinda nice. It's a three bedroom, though Gretchen off-handedly remarks that both of her roommates are out of town for the weekend, and the living room feels like it's twice as big as Rachel's, which is impressive, because her apartment's living room is already pretty big. And she has a little alcove off her kitchen that's like a mini dining room, and Rachel is baffled at how she can afford it all.

Gretchen starts setting up food and drinks—extracting prepared plates of hors d'oeuvres from her refrigerator, lining up juice and alcohol on her counter. She announces that she won't deny anyone a drink as long as they don't manage to get her a noise complaint. Jeremy, who appears to know his way around the apartment, turns on some music, which makes Gretchen give him a little smile.

"You want a drink?" Jeremy asks Rachel.

"Please," she responds, swallowing down her nerves. She won't have much. She's starting to get an idea of her limits, and she watches him prepare a vodka cranberry for her.

He hands it to her with a little smile, "I went a bit light on the vodka, 'cause you're petite, but, you know, sip it?"

"I know," she nods, grateful for his concern and not wanting to give the impression that she's a lush.

They mingle for awhile, but soon, Rachel ends up in the dining alcove, watching Jeremy participate in a drinking game involving a deck of cards. She giggles as he's forced to take a drink every time he speaks, as a rule change forces everyone else to refer to him as "Tiger," as he loses a round of "never have I ever," by admitting he's worn women's underwear and has to drink.

The game breaks up soon after that as Jeremy announces he's going to need to switch to water for awhile, and those in the alcove start to meander into Gretchen's living room. Rachel moves to follow Jeremy, but as she stands from the windowsill she's been leaning against, she wobbles a bit in her shoes and takes a seat, hoping it looks graceful. The only person left at the table is Gretchen, who sips red wine and had done astonishingly well in the drinking game—meaning she seems little more than tipsy at the moment.

Rachel offers a faux-smile, and receives one in return. "Are you having a good time?" Gretchen asks politely.

"Oh, yes," Rachel offers, following the same hospitality code, "Thank you for inviting me."

"No problem," Gretchen shrugs, "You need another drink?"

"No, thank you."

They're silent for another few moments before Jeremy pops his head back in to grin at them, "Hey, Gretch, Rachel, I'm gonna head down to the convenience store with Neal. He's got a hankering for Gatorade."

Gretchen's eyebrows lift, "Well, that's one refreshment I didn't foresee the need to buy. You can find the store alright, yeah?"

"Of course," Jeremy grins. He turns to Rachel, "You gonna be alright for awhile?"

"Sure thing," Rachel smiles, "Have a nice walk."

"Good. You text me if you need anything. Just hang here with Gretchen." He bends over a little to clumsily to kiss her forehead.

Rachel nods and forces a smile and, despite her discomfort, finds herself compelled to stay in the alcove with Gretchen when she wants to maybe go into the living room and hang out with everybody else.

She watches as Gretchen's eyes follow Jeremy until he's out of sight, before turning back to her. Gretchen sips her wine before saying carefully, "He's a good guy."

Rachel smiles, genuinely now. "Yes. He really is." And then, feeling sly and victorious, she thinks, time to bring it home, "I hope it's okay with you that we like each other. You two have undeniable chemistry, but I'd like to explore what he and I have."

Gretchen chuckles wryly, "Chemistry? Sure, onstage, but that's all showmance. In reality, he's like a brother to me. Trust me, you're not stepping on my toes. I'm very…picky when it comes to romance."

"So am I," Rachel agrees with a nod, because, hasn't she always wanted the best? The quarterback, the show choir star—two of them, if you counted her brief fling with Blaine. Even Puck had been high-status in his own subversive way.

But the way Gretchen's eyes linger on her, and her eyebrow upticks before she says, "Sure," agreeably abruptly has Rachel second-guessing.

She is picky. She's always pursued the best. Or has she? It's hard to remember how things with Finn started at this point, but she seems to think she had pursued him rather viciously—at the expense of poor Quinn. But would she have continued her pursuit after he rejected her during their picnic if he hadn't reciprocated himself? Would she have dated Puck if he hadn't approached her and called her a hot Jew? Would she have dated Jesse if he hadn't arranged for their serendipitous meeting at the music store? And Finn…she had pursued him after their second breakup almost obsessively, but would she have perhaps chosen Jesse had Finn not pursued her so strongly at Nationals? But if she had chosen Jesse, would that have been any better, when he'd come back to Lima just to pursue her?

In short, had she ever really pursued a boy because she wanted him, or were her romantic interests more a case of eager reciprocity? Did she chase guys because she chose them, or because they paid attention to her?

Finn is the example she tries to cling to. She put so much of herself out there in her pursuit of him. She chose him! She saw his leading man potential and decided she wanted that for herself!

But then, why did she keep going back to him?

Because he pursued her?

Every time she's tried to move on from him after a breakup (and she's made something of an effort each time, granted that some attempts were more successful than others), he's come back strong and brought her back to his side. That's…that's not picky.

That's settling.

She swallows hard as this realization hits her, and she tells herself firmly that this is what she's doing now. She's choosing Jeremy, as the next person she wants to be with so she can move on from Finn. She's choosing him, and it has nothing to do with the fact that he kissed her cheek and offered to escort her to the party yesterday. She chose him independently.

Gretchen tilts her head to the side, "For such a talented actress, you sure don't hide your emotions very well."

Rachel meets her eyes, a little stung but mostly flattered, "You…think I'm talented?"

"Of course," Gretchen answers easily, her cool eyes, half-lidded in calm, looking back just as honestly. She seems to accept that Rachel doesn't want to talk about what's on her mind and just tells her, "You're a natural onstage."

"Then…then, why is it you don't like me?" Rachel asks bluntly. "I figured it was because of Jeremy, but if you're being honest that you're not into him…"

Gretchen's mouth twists a little and she says bluntly, "Well, you have a bit of an attitude, and, I don't know, you strike me as the flighty type this program is so full of. It irks me when some freshman marches in here expecting to be the next big shot." She gives a laconic little smile, "I do not like to get wrapped up in that kind of drama. I'm here to learn how to work."

Rachel scowls a little, "But I'm not! Like that, I mean," she retorts firmly, "It took me so long to work up the nerve to try out here, because there is so much talent!"

"Yeah, and you're toward the top of the heap. How do you think you got the role you did when you look nothing like me? Directors don't normally like to stretch the audience's belief that far," Gretchen informs her. And it's true. Gretchen is tall, strawberry blonde and blue-eyed, lean, but not petite—built more like a volleyball player than a dancer. Rachel couldn't be her sister in any universe. Continuing, Gretchen fixes Rachel with a stare, "I'm confident in my own talents. I'm not jealous of your talent or anything like that. But maybe I got the wrong read on you. Though, it does feel like, every time we interact, you're fake with me. I don't do that shit."

Rachel flushes with embarrassment. Gretchen is far too good at reading her. And she really wasn't trying to hide her faux-pleasantries with the girl, but now she feels childish, because, is the reason she's been cold toward Gretchen because she's jealous of her talent?

She drops her eyes, and Gretchen merely nods, reading her embarrassment and remorse clearly on her face. "It's alright," she shrugs, "This is a tough business. It's not easy when every friend can be a competitor." She gets up, "Look, what you do with Jeremy is your business. Just be good to him. He's fond of you." She walks out, to the living room, and leaves Rachel sitting there.

And she can't help thinking, green light. Jeremy is fond of her, and so she can choose him. She doesn't let the doubts about why she's pursuing him in.

Before too long, he's back, and he comes into the alcove to find her, grinning, "Hey, you doing okay?"

"Mmhmm," she hums at him, then stands to get next to him, putting her lips near his ear, "Want to go somewhere a little more private?"

He looks at her, blinking a few times and smiling a little, "Do you mean…I mean, sure!"

As they disappear into one of Gretchen's roommate's rooms (an arrangement that feels perfectly natural at the time), Rachel inhales deeply to steel her nerves. She's going to choose this.

A/N: Chapter titles from Michael Jackson, "The Way You Make Me Feel," You Say Party! We Say Die!, "Laura Palmer's Prom," and Muse, "Plug-In Baby."

I'm currently at Faberrycon in Atlanta, which has been a blast even before it's really begun. Subsequently, I didn't proofread this as well as I should, so I apologize for any mistakes.