We began to lose time in that bunker. I had called in and told my boss that I had the flu so I would need the rest of the week off. At some point Sam and I were sitting on the couch with the television playing softly in the background. I sat on Sam's left side away from his hurt shoulder and turned enough that my legs were thrown over his leg, my arm on the back of the couch and my fingers buried in his hair. "Sam would you tell me about Dean?", I asked and watched as the muscles in his face tightened a bit at the mention of his brother. He cleared his throat, "I suppose that's a valid question and we've been through so much…." I let my hand travel from his hair to the back of his neck where I gently massaged the tense muscles there. "I can see you're hurting and I want to help Sam." Sam nodded and looked into my eyes, "I understand."
Sam placed his hand on my knee and said, "Are you comfortable? Because this is a really long story. I'll have to go way, way back to the beginning." I leaned forward and kissed him gently, our lips lingering on each other, "I'm here Sam.", I said as we pulled apart. Sam started talking, telling me about having not grown up with a mom and what had happened to her. It was then, right at the beginning that he revealed demons to me. I admit I felt somewhat shocked at first but then I could see that what he was telling me was the truth. I could read it in his eyes as he talked. My heart broke for the little boy who had never known a mother and for the little boy who had to grow up too quickly to take care of his brother.
He continued on, telling me about desperately wanting to get out of the hunting life and wanting to go to college. About how his dad wanted him to stay with Dean and himself and continue hunting the bad things that went bump in the night. And then my heart broke again as he told me about that teenage boy that was told that if he walked out that door to do the thing he desperately wanted to do that he was never to come back. I couldn't stop the tears that slipped down my face or the feelings of wanting to hold that teenage Sam and tell him that he was stronger for wanting to do what his heart desired. Sam also looked as if he wanted to cry. I rubbed my thumb over the shell of his ear and then he told me about Jessica.
I listened with no jealousy as he told me how he met Jessica and fell in love with her. How he planned to ask her to marry him as soon as he finished school. Then he told me of the heartbreak of losing her after Dean came back. How she burned on the ceiling just like his mom had. Then I heard all about his adventures on the road with Dean and how they were looking for their dad. Then about how they found their dad only to have him ripped away from them to save Dean. He told me how he felt guilty for always fighting with his dad instead of trying to understand him better. I listened quietly, simply nodding ever so often and making sure Sam knew I was still there.
I learned that Sam had been killed and Dean had sold his soul to bring him back. Again I began to cry hearing how Sam was killed and then how Dean was ripped apart by hell hounds when his year was up. Then Sam told me about angels. I found out that they weren't what we had been told about in Sunday school. Sam said they were pretty much dicks with their own agendas and if we were lost in the malay then so be it. He told me about Cas and how he helped them and then how later he betrayed them.
Then he began to tell me about Ruby. At first I was hopeful that she wasn't betraying him. Then I listened as he told me how she taught him to drink demon blood. He told me how it made him stronger and that made him feel more invincible. I admit I did feel a bit of jealousy as he told me that she not only talked him into drinking demon blood but she also talked him into sleeping with her. He told me how he fought with Dean over her and even hurt him pretty badly before he realized she was using him for her own gain. Then I internally cheered when I heard that he and Dean killed her with her own demon knife. He told me how they fought to stop the apocalypse and how he finally gave in to let Lucifer use him as a vessel. He fought hard against Lucifer and was finally, because of the love of Dean, able to throw himself into the pit of hell to save the world.
He told me how he came back but that his soul wasn't intact. I smoothed my hand down his jawline as he told me how he did things that he wasn't proud of while he was soulless. The rest was almost a blur as he continued his story. I learned about other crazy things like dragons and more demons and lots of angels, four horsemen and leviathan and all number of crazy things that I never thought were real. Hours and hours went by but I sat and listened intently as Sam spilled his guts. Instead of weirding me out, everything he told me made me care for him even more.
Finally he told me about Dean and how Metatron shoved the blade into him. How Dean told him that he was proud of them and how he brought Dean back here to the bunker and put him in his room. He tried to summon Crowley and make him bring Dean back. He wanted to sale his soul to him just as his brother had done all those years ago. Later when Crowley didn't come he went to Dean's room and found his body gone. "I didn't know what had happened to him. I just knew he was gone. I felt like all people do is leave me. Maybe it's all my fault.", a tear slipped down his cheek and I reached to brush it away.
"I couldn't do anything besides drink. When I drank all of what we had here that's when I met you." Sam's eyes met mine and I lost myself in their hazel depths. Moving into his lap, facing him, I placed my hands on each side of his face and spoke to him gently and honestly, "Sam you came into City Sliquors for a reason. After listening to your story I know that now to be a fact. We needed each other. I know this is really fast but I want you to know that I'm falling in love with you. I'm not scared by anything that you told me because I know that together we can face anything." Leaning forward I captured his lips with mine. His tongue slipped past my lips and I melted into him.
After several long minutes of drinking each other in I broke our kiss. "I'm going to help you find Dean. I'm going to be with you every step of the way." Sam gave me a soulful look and even though he didn't say anything, he didn't have to. I understood everything.