**Author's notes...Just wanted to thank everyone for the feedback and reviews of the story. I reread this one a couple times and I think it's okay, but forgive me if their are odd errors I'm fighting the tail-end of the flu here.**

September 11-530 am

Ranger got out of bed over an hour ago. He took off in his gym shorts without a word. Maybe he thought I was still sleeping. I don't know. Something about it seemed off though, so I couldn't fall back to sleep.

I didn't have appointments with the doctor yesterday or today and I didn't write yesterday so I thought I had better catch up, after all this journal is supposed to make me feel better. Plus, I had a lot of feelings bubble to the surface.

Yesterday morning Ranger had an appointment outside the office, but I was feeling cooped up so I decided to stop down on the fifth floor. I always liked hanging out with the Merry Men and Ranger invited me down yesterday. I found Tank in his office looking like he was ready to throw himself out the window. His frown turned completely upside down when he looked up at me. I liked having that effect on him. I also liked the easy way he got up to hug me.

He finally told me that he was doing the scheduling for the next couple weeks and was going to kill Ranger for leaving it for him. I pulled a chair around his desk so I could sit next to him. I blinked at the messy handwritten schedule on his desk. No wonder the man was going nuts. I took his computer over and found the payroll software icon. I'd seen it on the computer when I'd worked there, but never looked at it before. It wasn't hard to open it up or follow the simple instructions. Not only did it have a scheduling tool, but after I entered all the guy's names it would total hours and track their logged hours against the schedule.

I laughed at him and asked why they weren't using it. "Ah, shit, Steph, we ain't office men," he told me. I never asked Ranger about how he ran his office, but someone was obviously doing the payroll for them. When I asked Tank, he said it was done by their accountant. I set up the program anyway, it took a couple hours out of my day, hours that I felt like I had something to contribute. It kind of made me feel good about myself.

When Ranger came in later that morning he looked surprised to see me working alongside Tank at his desk. The look on his face wasn't his usual blank stare, but it was still undefinable, to me anyway. Tank told me I should go open the program on the boss's computer and show him what I did. Ranger made another face and nodded to me without a word. Before I could get out the door though Tank called me back. He had a shopping bag full of folded clothes I'd left in the laundry at his place.

I followed Ranger down the hall. Ranger's office was almost twice the size of Tank's office and smelled like Ranger, so in my opinion it was the best room on the floor. I set the bag of clothes on the couch and smiled at him. He walked toward me, peeking into the bag before he greeted me with what's become our standard greeting of a kiss on the cheek or forehead, this time it was the cheek. "Did you forget some of your things at Tank's house?"

I told him that I didn't grab my dirty clothes out of the laundry when I left. He seemed to make that funny face again. "It didn't make sense for us to do our laundry separately so I've been doing all the laundry together. I didn't think to check the laundry room when I left."

"You washed his clothes?" That funny look was still on his face.

I laughed at that. "I also cleaned his house, dusted, and vacuumed all the cat hair. We cooked together though, he probably didn't want me to burn his house down." I thought I was making a joke, but Ranger seemed to get agitated by that. I took his hand and squeezed it. "If you didn't have Ella to take care of your place I'd do the same for you."

He seemed to pull himself out of the weird mood and finally asked what I'd been working on. He logged into his computer so I reached around him and pointed to the icon. He clicked it open. As I started to explain the scheduling program he pulled me around and settled me on his lap. Between the two of us we unlocked more of the program's capabilities. It seemed that he could roll schedules over so he only needed to tweak them instead of starting over each week. It would also auto schedule for him if he entered how many man hours he needed at different times of the day and would account for time off requests from the guys. It was pretty cool. He decided he was going to talk to his accountant about linking the payroll account into the program, after reviewing hours all he'd have to do is press a button to electronically release checks.

After spending the afternoon in Ranger's office, on his lap, we went upstairs for dinner. We didn't do formal, we had our chicken and rice at the breakfast bar. Then instead of a movie Ranger pulled out a monopoly game, even though I seen he'd rented some DVDs earlier.

We set up the game on the coffee table and sat on the floor facing each other. I would have never thought I could have a comfortable, quiet evening alone with Ranger, but oddly enough I was more comfortable than I think I'd ever been with someone else.

As we got into the second hour of the game I stretched my legs out under the coffee table. He picked them up and started to rub them. I think I immediately melted. My head fell back onto the couch cushion and I know a few moans escaped my lips. "So you like that?" he asked teasingly.

I giggled back at him and said, "Yes, you've got magical hands."

"Stephanie?" he asked in a serious voice.

The use of my real name startled me. I looked across the table at him. He looked uncertain of himself for the first time in my presence and it made me feel uncertain too. So I just answered, "Yeah?"

Then he simply asked, "Can I kiss you?" I stared at him. My mouth probably fell open in disbelief. Ranger never asked permission to kiss me. Ranger just pushed me against a wall and took what he wanted.

As he stared back at me, obviously uncertain of my answer. I realized this wasn't the same man that seduced me in alleys or ruined me against the side of my car. He was really asking me if I wanted to be kissed. So I simply said, "Yes."

He moved the coffee table out of the way and crawled over so he was kneeling in front of me. I'm not sure how I had the strength to move, but seeing him there looking at me like he was, I reached out for him. He sat next to me so we were looking at one another. His fingers traced the line of my jaw before moving over my lips. I couldn't help but close my eyes at the intimate contact. Then his lips replaced his fingers, moving feather light over mine. His fingers moved into my hair, stoking me and holding me gently to him as he deepened the kiss. I moved my own hands into his hair as I pushed my tongue into his mouth.

The kiss wasn't the usual bone melting explosion that shoots straight to my doodah that Ranger was known for. This kiss didn't become frantic or sexual. It was more like he was pouring his strength and love into me from the mouth down and I tried my best to do the same for him. When we broke apart he pulled me into his lap and hugged me against him. "I didn't know what I was doing before. I promise I'll never walk away again," he whispered into my hair. I didn't know exactly what he meant by that, but I knew it was important for him to tell me. So I just hugged him against me. "I know it'll be hard, but promise me you will try not to run from me either?" he asked then.

My best defense had always been to run. Even yesterday I tried to run from him, but now hearing him ask I wondered if it hurt him when I ran away. I didn't want to hurt him. I wanted to trust him. I wanted him to be able to trust me too, but I didn't know how to do any of those things. I turned my head and inhaled the scent of his skin and let my lips touch his neck lightly. I wanted to try so badly. "I'll try," I finally whispered to him.

He kissed me again then, but just when things were starting to heat up a little he broke away and asked, "Did you want to watch a movie before bed? It's still pretty early."

I looked at the clock and it was almost nine, definitely too early for bed, especially when I knew I'd just lay there awake wishing he'd kiss me again. So I told him a movie would be good.

He stood and went over to the breakfast bar where he'd dropped the DVD's earlier. He looked at them and lifted an eyebrow and grumbled something under his breath. So I asked if he didn't like the movies. He just shook his head and said, "I sent Brown down to the Redbox to grab a couple comedies. I always like a laugh when I'm feeling down." I nodded my agreement to him, it's why I love Ghostbusters. "I think Brown was the one being the comedian though. We have No Strings Attached or Friends with Benefits," he said frowning at the cases.

I couldn't help the laugh that bubbled out my lips. Between the not so subtle movie choices about people in relationships like ours and the look on Ranger's face I just lost it. "Well, if you really find it that funny pick one," he told me with a little amusement in his face now.

I went with Friends with Benefits, it was the Justin Timberlake that sealed the deal for me, he's adorable. While Ranger put the DVD in his Blu-ray player I went to the kitchen and grabbed a couple bottles of water and tossed a bag of popcorn into the microwave. Beer would have been better, but I knew better than to mix alcohol with my antidepressant.

Ranger ran into his room and returned with a pillow and the fluffy, movie blanket. I snuggled into his side with his arm around me, the blanket pulled up around us, and the popcorn on my lap. The movie had ups and downs, it had me laughing and almost in tears at certain points. By the end we were lying on the couch, him on his back and me behind him with my head on his chest and my leg draped across his hip. When the couple in the movie finally admitted they were in love and the movie ended with the hope of their happily ever after, Ranger turned his head and kissed my nose. He asked if I wanted to watch the other movie or if I was ready for bed.

I was definitely ready for bed. It had been a long day. His arms slipped around me, he rolled me over his body, and stood me on my feet next to the couch in one smooth move. I figured it was his way of telling me to get ready first, so that's what I did.

I pulled on sweat pants and a tee shirt. It was more clothes than I liked to sleep in, but I didn't want to give him the impression that I was looking for more than a place to sleep, at least yet. I didn't think I was ready to try anything more, yet. I'd about die if it didn't work. Even if it did work I still had a lot of other things to worry about.

So crawled into the bed and sat there just thinking. After spending another evening alone with him, I was faced with sleeping against him again. It was where I wanted to be, but could I trust myself not to get in too deep? Could I trust him not to toss me aside when he realized my feelings went so much further than friendship? I wished life could work itself out like that stupid movie we watched tonight, but real life isn't a romantic comedy.

He came to bed after I was already tucked into my side. He crawled in his side, but didn't lay down. He rolled me onto my back and looked down at me. I could see he was only wearing those little, black silk boxers he kept to sleep in. Christ, I was probably panting at the sight, he was so incredibly sexy.

Then he reached over and pulled my pants down my legs, lightly touching my skin along the way. After he tossed them aside he laid down and pulled me against his body. "I just need to be able to feel your skin against mine. I'll behave myself," he said into my hair. I kind of wished I could have seen his face at the time. I wanted to know what he was feeling, but I couldn't ask.

I snuggled into him and the spots where our bare legs touched and moved against each other seemed to come alive, like electricity moving between us. I wanted more. So I asked him if I could take off my tee shirt too. He instantly leaned back and pulled it over my head. His eyes never left mine, but I felt the heat in them as I settled my bare chest against his. He wrapped his arms around me and held me.

He couldn't have been more right about needing to touch like this. I felt like something inside of me started to feel alive again from just that simple contact. My fingers lightly traced the ridges of the muscles on his chest as I dozed off. The last thing I remember was him pressing his lips against my forehead and thinking sometimes life is even better than a romantic comedy.

But now in the light of the morning I wondered if we'd pushed things too far. Did he get out of bed early to avoid being nearly naked with me? I wondered if he regretted the intimacy that we shared. I also kind of wondered how I'd be able to face him without my face turning completely red. I had been too bold and needy the night before. I just hoped it didn't make him regret inviting me into his life.