mujaki said: [Loki] likely found [Mjolnir] during his sojourn in the desert that first night. He very much misses his magic (a sorcerer without magic being half blind, you know) but I think he decided to hide it's location after witnessing the drastic change in his brother as well as clinging to Jane.
Wherein SHIELD agents get bored and the Odinsons have words. (Drama/Humor. PG.)
Surveillance of Subject A and Subject B is, without a doubt, the most boring detail Agents James Dion and Adele Hakim have ever pulled.
Coulson's favorites — like Barton — get to watch the hammer. Okay, maybe it's just stuck in a rock, but there's interesting readings coming off of it sometimes, and at least there's lots of other agents to talk to. Dion and Hakim have been partners for a long time, but after three weeks of nothing they're starting to seriously get on each others' nerves.
"It's my turn with the audio," says Dion, setting aside the binoculars. "My eyes are killing me."
Hakim snorts and takes off the headphones. "Fine," she says. "Have fun listening to Born in the USA."
"Are you trash-talking Springsteen? 'Cause I won't stand for that."
"Someone's got ahold of the jukebox. Can't hear a damn thing except Springsteen. You try it for two hours and see what you think of him."
There's only so much to do on this mission. It was kind of cool at first, what with all the talk of space travel and stuff — they've seen some weird shit in S.H.I.E.L.D. but this is a first — not to mention the free show with Subject B and the scientist. That thing on the roof was hot enough that Dion and Hakim were left glancing at each other, even though they've been partners for three years and it would be like having sex with a sibling.
Now, though? Even porn gets boring after awhile. And the intern and Subject A are even less interesting. It sucks to watch other people browse kitten memes.
And tonight they're stuck staring at the outside of the bar from a rooftop. Whatever Subjects A and B are doing in there, Dion and Hakim can neither see nor hear it.
Worst. Detail. Ever.
"I'm bringing an aardvark—"
"Oh no."
"—to Albuquerque."
"I'm not playing, Dion."
"That's because you always lose."
"I do not always lose. There was the time."
"That didn't count. We were getting shot at."
"I still won."
"Bullshit. Aardvark. Albuquerque."
"You're an asshole. I'm bringing an aardvark to Albuquerque and a badger to Boston."
"I'm bringing an aardvark to Albuquerque, a badger to Boston, and a crayfish to Chattanooga."
"Crawfish."
"What?"
"It's crawfish, not crayfish."
"Are you kidding me with this?"
"If you look at a menu in any place south of—" Hakim cuts off. She raises the binoculars higher. Her entire body goes into alert position. "Hang on, we've got something happening here."
Dion perks up as well and levels the detector towards the bar. The voices are now loud enough to hear over Springsteen. "Sounds like the Subjects, but I can't make out what's—"
There's a crash through the front door of the bar.
Subjects A and B stumble out into the street, with Subject A holding Subject B up by the shirt, almost off the ground. "You knew!" he roars, loud enough for Dion to wince and adjust the headphones. "Ever since you fell to earth, you knew!"
"Get your hands off me, brother—"
"You knew!"
Well, this just got a lot more exciting. Hakim reaches for the radio. "Base, we've got an incident with the subjects taking place."
It takes a few seconds, but then the radio crackles back: "What sort of incident?"
Subject B twists out of Subject A's grip, whirls around, and cracks him in the jaw with his elbow.
Dion whistles.
"The kind with bruises," says Hakim.
"Understood. Do not engage unless there is deadly force."
"Copy that, Base." Hakim clicks the radio off.
"Define deadly force," mutters Dion, and the two agents watch Subjects A and B fight, shouting accusations all the while. They're good. Really good. "Think we better sit this one out, Addy."
Hakim nods.
"And what good would it do?" Subject B ducks under Subject A's punch just before it breaks his nose. "What is your plan of battle, Thor? Do you intend to bash your way back home?"
"Mjolnir is mine! How could you have betrayed me in this way? If I could retrieve your power, I would have done so without regard to life or limb!"
"But you don't know of a way! If I am without my magic, what right have you to your hammer?"
Subject A doesn't miss with the next swing. Subject B hits the ground. "It is a trick too far, Loki!"
"What trick? What trick is it, that you should have to be my equal for once in our lives?" Subject B spits a mouthful of blood onto the concrete. "The great Thor — what are you, without Mjolnir in your hand? A witless oaf, nothing more!"
"And what are you without your infantile pranks? A frightened child, reaching beneath a woman's skirts for comfort!"
Subject B snarls and grabs a broken bottle from the gutter.
"Oh, shit," says Dion, reaching for his gun.
Thankfully — because Hakim and Dion really do not want to get into this — the scientist and the intern stride out of the bar at that moment.
The intern holds two pitchers — one in each hand — and, without so much as a warning, tosses them at Subjects A and B, soaking them from head to toe in what looks like Budweiser.
Subjects A and B stop what they're doing and sputter.
The scientist turns to the intern, gaping. The intern just shrugs. "Left my taser at home," she says.
Agents Dion and Hakim radio in shortly afterwards that the incident has been averted, but Subject A and the scientist appear to be heading towards Base. Which means Base is going to get to have all the fun again. Then there's nothing to do but watch the remaining two go back to the lab, where the intern plays with her phone and Subject B glowers into space.
So much for things getting interesting.
Hakim loses the game at a koala to Kansas City.