'To The Future'
Main pairing(s): KYMAN, STENDY, CLYBE, BUNNY, CREEK, GRESTOPHE and others!
Disclaimer: I don't own South Park
Constructive criticism is very much appreciated
The whole fourth grade class at South Park Elementary were all bored on that dark, snowy Friday afternoon. As per usual in Mr Garrison's Friday evening lesson, the Students were having a session of Show–and–Tell. Clyde Donovan had just finished his presentation on lesbian cheerleaders (his fifth time he had reported that over the last week). As typical to the after–lunch lesson, Mr Garrison wasn't paying any attention at all, so once Clyde finished and sat down he hadn't noticed Cartman's hand shooting straight up into the air.
After two minutes of waiting semi–patiently for Mr. Garrison to look up from the gay porn on his IPhone, Eric angrily arose from his seat and stormed to the front of the classroom, throwing something at his head. "For my Show–and–Tell project I am going to prove my undeniable genius!"
"HA! HAHA! HAHAHAHA! Cartman? A genius?" Kyle shouted at the top of his lungs, almost falling off of his seat.
"Shut up, Kahl, stupid kike!"
"Don't belittle my people, fatass!"
"Don't call me fat, Jew! I'm big boned! There is a huge difference!"
Garrison sighed in exasperation, "Just get on with it, Eric."
"Anyway, to prove I am smarter than all of you hippie assholes–"
"God damn it Cartman, you really need to get over yourself!" Stan interrupted Cartman's rant.
"AS I WAS SAYING… I am smarter than all of you! And I can prove it," He pulled out an IPhone looking thing. "With this!"
"An IPhone?" Wendy quizzed, raising an eyebrow in disbelief.
"No not an IPhone you stupid hippie bitch, it's a time machine!"
"A t-time machine, neat–o!" Butters praised his idol.
"A time machine? Come on Cartman, you can't come up with anything better?" Kenny asked, his voice muffled.
"It works poor boy!" Cartman screamed in retort.
"Prove it, fat boy!" commanded Kyle.
"Fine! But if it sends us to the future you have to give me a hundred bucks, Jew!"
"Fine, but if it doesn't you have to give me a hundred bucks and can't rip on me for the rest of the fourth grade!"
"FINE!" He looked at the clock on the wall and saw there was twenty minutes left of that lesson. "We will go twenty minutes into the future!" he began typing into the IPhone. After about a minute he frowned and looked up to his sceptical audience, "We have a little problem!"
"I told you it won't work!" Kyle sn0apped rolling his eyes.
"That's not the problem!"
"What is it then, Fatass?"
Cartman smiled sweetly, his eyes golden–brown glistening in the light. "Well, Jew boy, I kind of accidently punched in twenty years instead of twenty minutes!"
"Sure, and you're gonna 'cancel' it so we don't actually go into the 'future' aren't you?"
"Well… not exactly." Eric replied looking up.
"What?" Kyle asked, raising a sceptical eyebrow.
"We're gonna go twenty years into the future!"
"Yea right that's bull…" Just as Kyle was saying that a small swirling purple vortex appeared in the middle of the room causing a few screams from the girls (and, of cause, Butters). Kyle's eyes widened, "What the fuck?!"
Cartman smirked and pushed a button on the IPhone. The purple vortex disappeared for one second before expanding throughout the fourth grade classroom engulfing each and every student, a few muffled noises coming through the lilac violet portal. Then… they were all gone!
"Ow… my head…" Stan mumbled to himself as he slowly opened his eyes. Once his vision cleared, he looked around himself to find out that he was laying on a pond sized patch of ice surrounded by his classmates. He stood himself up and slip over to the snow covered grass by the side of the pond. He looked around himself from where he stood and realised that he was at Starks Pond. Turning back to the icy water, Stan saw that a few of the other students were beginning to slide towards him. Just as Stan had done the other students looked around and, consequently, found out they were at Starks Pond.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Kyle shouted.
"Kyle, language…" Mr. Garrison said slowly, looking around. He then took out his IPhone and looking at it.
"E-Eric, are you sure you d-didn't make a–a teleport m-machine, instead?" Butters asked.
"I… don't… think I did." Cartman replied, now looking back at his time machine.
"Aw, god damn it! My porn is fucking busted! Thanks a lot fat boy!"
Just then an old red haired man was walking across the side of the pond. Kyle then ran towards him and tapped him on the back.
After turning around towards the Jew the other ginger smiled slightly. "Yes?" he questioned.
"Would you, by any chance, know the time and date?"
"Ah yes! It is…" he touched his watch, causing a bright screen to come on, "Eight thirty."
"Okay, and the date, if I may?"
"Why certainly! It is the fifth of March, twenty thirty five!"
Everyone's eyes widened at that, all turning to face Cartman who had a look of both pleasure and shock in his eyes. Kyle gave a quick 'thank you' then ran towards the rest of his classmates and his teacher.
"Cartman, you actually made some sort of time machine!" Wendy screamed.
"Yes, I did, Teste–burger! And, Kahl, I believe there was mention of, oh, I dunno, a one hundred dollar bet, maybe!" He held out an expecting hand
"Okay, I'll pay you when we get back home!"
"NO! NOW!" Cartman screamed back, angrily, his spoilt child side showing through. Cartman raised a fist at Kyle but was punched in the face before he could do anything remotely close to causing him pain.
"I'll pay you back when we get back to our time, fatass!"
"O-ok, fine!" Cartman responded, trying in vain to scramble to his feet.