The team entered the room, just as James pulled JJ aside.
"What the hell was that last night JJ?" he asked.
"Look, James, I'm sorry for leading you on ok, I can't deny that the sex would probably have been great but I've changed a lot these last few years." she replied only half telling the truth, she was not going to admit that it had partly been down to her feelings for Hotch that made her leave.
"I guess I understand but I have to admit that I did develop feeling for you whilst we were partners, I just never told you because I had it drilled into me for so long by the CIA that having feelings got you killed. Then suddenly after one mission you had left without saying so much as goodbye and I never heard from you again." he said sadly. "I always regretted not telling you."
JJ was stunned into a silence, she did'nt realise he had feelings for her back in those days.
"James, I never realised." she sighed. "I was a lone wolf during my time with the CIA. You were my only partner I'd ever had and even then it was only for a few months. So, when I left for my next assignment I never looked back. That's just who I was. I made no attachments, commitments and I never fully trusted anyone." she admitted. Suddenly nervous she added. "Err, James can we talk more about this later, we have to get to work." she stuttered and walked into the room.
Half an hour later, and JJ was working up the courage to tell the team about her work with the CIA. 'You can do this JJ' she thought. 'You're a highly trained CIA spy and FBI agent, you can tell some friends about your past, it's no big deal' she thought unconvincingly.
Just as she was about to speak up, a flash of bright colours burst into the room.
"Pen, what are you doing here?" JJ asked shocked.
Before Garcia could reply. Hotch stood up. "I asked her to fly in, she said she had some unbelievable information about the case and you needed to tell us something so I thought she should be here." Hotch answered JJ's question.
"Uh- o-okay then." JJ replied still slightly shocked. Introductions were made to the other agents.
"So what's this about the case Baby Girl." Morgan asked interested. JJ's heart thumped out of her chest. Her eyes locked with Garcia's and JJ knew she knew. 'Shit' she thought. 'I didn't want it to come out like this'. She was shook out of her thoughts by Garcia.
"In a minute my prince." she replied to Morgan. "JJ, can I speak to you outside." she added. JJ nodded and swallowed hard as she followed Garcia out of the room. She was glad that Garcia hadn't told the whole team.
After a few minutes of Garcia pacing. "You know don't you?" JJ asked quietly, almost afraid of the answer.
Garcia just stared at her with anger in her eyes but that soon changed to compassion and sympathy when she saw the desperation and despair on JJ's face.
"Yes, I do, and I was mad on the whole flight over here. How could you not tell us JJ?" she asked her friend softly.
JJ eyes welled up with unshed tears that she willed to disappear. She had to be strong and tough. "I-" her voice cracked.
"Oh gumdrop!" Garica said and pulled her friend into a tight hug. JJ couldn't help but let a few tears fall before she wiped them away quickly.
"Do you hate me Pen?" JJ whispered.
"Oh, I could never hate you. I'm a little mad that you never told me but I could never hate you. You're my best friend." Garcia said with hurt in her voice that JJ never told her.
"I'll explain why I didn't tell you when I tell the rest of the team but it wasn't because I don't trust you." JJ said with conviction. "Will they hate me?" she nodded in the direction of the room.
"I'm not sure how they will react but I'm sure they won't hate you. Hopefully they'll understand after you explain your point of view." Garcia said trying to bring JJ some hope.
"God, I hope so Pen, this whole thing has just turned to shit." JJ said with a sigh.
Garcia noticing the dull mood. "On the bright side, my best friend was a totally awesome female James Bond!" she said with a huge grin.
JJ laughed in response. "Not quite but thanks for making me feel better Pen. I love you."
"What do you mean 'not quite'!? From what I read out to you guys on your file, you were totally awesome. Everyone was impressed."
"Maybe. But they won't be so impressed when they find out who it is." JJ replied sadly.
"Gumdrop, just tell the truth and tell them your position and hopefully it will be ok." She said as she hugged JJ and they walked back into the room.
JJ cleared her throat and stayed standing as Garcia joined the rest of the team and other agents.
"Guys, I have something to tell you and you won't like it. You'll probably be mad and hate me after I tell you but you deserve to know." she smiled sadly and continued.