**Author's note, Just a lighter chapter, I thought Steph needed a good day. Or maybe I did...hope you enjoy the sweet side of Ranger.**

September 13…230 pm

Okay, so yesterday ended up being a strange day. Ranger and Tank had meetings all morning and Lester was with Lula, since she'd found the location of one of her skips and needed back-up at the last minute. I had a doctor appointment, but didn't have anyone to take me.

I thought I'd be fine so Ranger gave me the keys to his Turbo, then at the last minute I worried about being out alone. I didn't know what would happen if I had a panic attack when I was out alone, especially if I was driving. So I stood in the garage staring at the car for about five minutes before Hal came down to check on me.

I've known Hal a long time, but he was always a pretty quiet guy. It was nice that I got to know him a little better when we took the trip to DC or I probably would have felt ever weirder asking him for help. In the end I told him that I needed a ride to Dr. Westin's office, I didn't think I was ready to drive alone yet.

I could read Hal like a book. So when I told him about Dr. Westin I saw the realization of what I had been doing with Ranger start to dawn on him, but he didn't ask me about it. He just said he'd run up to grab some keys, but I handed him the keys to the Turbo instead. He stared at the keys like I'd given him the Holy Grail or something. "I still can't believe he just lets you have his car whenever you need it," he told me. I shrugged back at him. Neither could I, I broke his cars at alarming rates, but he was always ready to give me another. "The apartment either, you know you're the only person allowed in there besides Ella?" I shrugged again. I guess part of me had always known that. Ranger wasn't the type of guy who would just hand out his key to random women. He trusted me and knew I'd only go there if I needed a place to hide out.

When I got to Dr. Westin's he asked me how I was feeling. It may have been the first time he's asked me a simple question like that. It was weird that I had to stop and think about it though. How was I feeling? All I could reply was good.

He asked me to expand on that. What was good?

I told him that staying with Ranger was really good. I hadn't had a nightmare since we started sleeping together, so that was good. I felt like we've grown closer again, I liked the intimacy of sharing a space with him, and like how he was letting me be part of his life. He made me feel good.

Dr. Westin asked me if Ranger and I had been having sex. I immediately said no, but then I told him we had in the past. It was a big part of our relationship in the past, but it didn't seem to be right now. I tried to explain how he took time every evening after dinner to hold me or touch me as we hung out in the apartment, but it wasn't a sexual touch. It felt more caring than sexual.

Then he asked if I was interested in sex yet. I laughed at that. I felt like my problems in that area were probably well on their way to becoming extinct. I tried to explain to him how living with Ranger was like living with a Cuban sex god. This got a little smile from the doctor. He waited me out until I finally cracked. I told him about sleeping skin on skin with him the last few nights and the way I felt when he kissed me. Though we hadn't had sex, my body was responding to his a little more each day.

He asked me how I thought Ranger felt. I shrugged at him. As much time as we spent together in the last few years we never really talked about our feelings. I told Dr. Westin that I felt like there had always been a part of Ranger that he's kept closed off from me, like that part of him both made him the man he was and kept him from being the man he could be. Like when we were at the cemetery Thursday, I knew he was hurting and it had to do with something that happened in his military career, but he holds that so deep inside himself I don't think he'll ever open up about it. He asked me if I wanted Ranger to open up, duh, it's all I ever wanted.

He asked how I thought Ranger felt about me. This time I sighed. I knew he cared about me, loved me even, in his own way. I knew he was attracted to me since he offered me a spot in his bed whenever I wanted it. He'd always been pretty clear on how he didn't feel about me though. He didn't want a future with me, especially one that he had to commit to. I guess that made me question how he really felt too. His actions toward me versus the words that came from his mouth were so different he usually left me confused. I guess that's why I'd usually just tell people who asked about us that it was complicated.

Dr. Westin wanted to know if I'd ever pushed Ranger for a direct answer about how he felt about me. I told him no one pushed Ranger. I didn't want to be sent to a third world country. He laughed at that, but said that sometimes to get what we want we have to seek it out. I didn't think I was ready to hear what Ranger was really feeling for me. I was too scared to find out he didn't really love me or maybe I was scared to find out that he did. I don't know.

Then he asked me if I ever told Ranger that I loved him. Yikes. Of course I never told him I loved him. I was afraid the moment that he realized I had feelings for him he would shut me out of his life altogether or go into the wind permanently. Dr. Westin nodded to me so I guess he wanted me to expand on that. How could I expand on that though? I loved a man that wouldn't allow me to love him. He acted like he didn't deserve my love or something. Or maybe he thought I didn't deserve his, I don't know.

The doctor wrote a few things down then looked back at me like he was studying me or something. He asked me why I didn't think I deserved Ranger's love. I just shrugged back. I knew that wasn't going to cut it, but it was worth a try. I knew it wasn't just Ranger's love I didn't deserve. I had never been good enough for someone to want me permanently. Then he asked why I didn't think I was good enough for someone to want.

I sat there thinking about all the men in my life. Simply the answer to that was, because I had never been enough for anyone. I was a disappointment to everyone I'd ever cared about. Mom never thought I was as good at anything as Val was. When Joe hurt me when we were kids I wondered if I had been better in bed or prettier, if he would have loved me enough not to walk out on me. My husband, Dickie, cheated on me within months of our wedding, clearly I wasn't good enough to keep him interested. Ranger, I tried to tell him I loved him once, after the first time we slept together, but he didn't want me to love him. He just wanted sex and I didn't want to get hurt again so we settled into whatever this thing is we have now.

I sat there staring at my shoes, not wanting to see Dr. Westin's face. He just said, "Stephanie, you have so many people that love you. You have a supportive team of people that have been trying to help you. Do you think they would have done all they have if they didn't care for you, if they didn't think you were worth every moment they spent with you?" I didn't know how to respond to that. Then he asked me to name five people in my life, right at that moment, that I could depend on to do whatever I needed them to do for me.

Finally I said, Ranger, Tank, Lester, Lula, and Mary Lou. Dr. Westin nodded at me then asked me about Hal, who he saw sitting in the waiting room. I nodded, Hal, really any of the guys at RangeMan would probably drop what they were doing to help me. Then he asked me about the people I worked with. I nodded to him, Connie would always come through for me if I needed something too. I knew she cared. Then he asked about my family. I shrugged again. Grandma Mazur was always willing to help me out in her own way and Dad was always willing to give me a ride or fix something if I asked. We weren't really an affectionate family, we didn't hug or say I love you like TV families, but they cared in their way.

He smiled at me then and told me I'd just admitted that people care about me. I rolled my eyes. He just shook his head at me and told me the one person not on that list that needed to learn to care about me, was me. What a stupid shrink thing to say, right?

So he gave me homework for my session on Monday. He wanted me to write down a list of qualities that I admired in myself. He also wanted me to speak with the people that I had mentioned and have real conversations with them, ask them to tell me what qualities they admired in me as well. I knew I made a face at that, but seriously how embarrassing would that be?

After my appointment Hal drove me back to RangeMan. I finally asked him why he had come down to check on me today. He blushed and said he was worried about me. I'd seemed off the last few times he'd seen me. I nodded back to him and asked him what words he'd use to describe me. He blushed more, but kept his eyes on the road. He finally said, beautiful, smart, brave, and loyal. Huh, so I asked him why he thought that. He laughed and said, "Look in the mirror, Steph, you are one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen. You can solve mysteries better than anyone I ever met. You've been in some tough situations, but you've dealt better than most men I've seen. You'd stand by any of your friends and do anything you could to help," he shook his before continuing. "You're an amazing package."

I was stunned by his words, he was never much of a talker, but I never knew he felt that way about me. When we parked the car I leaned over and hugged him. He just blushed again and told me he'd be available if I needed a ride or just wanted to get out of the building.

I didn't feel like going anywhere though. So I spent the afternoon watching TV and painting my nails while I thought about what Hal said. It made me curious about what the other guys would say about me, hey, at least I wasn't terrified anymore. I even changed into nicer jeans and a cute sweater for dinner. Okay, so I was hoping to make Ranger look at me like a woman instead of his crippled roommate tonight.

I wasn't expecting him to come up for dinner still in his suit. Corporate Ranger was a feast for the eyes, he wore his tailored, designer suits the way no one else could. What was better was when he lost the jacket, tore off the tie, and opened the top three buttons on the shirt. Then went the shoes, socks, and belt. I think my mouth went dry as I watched. He just smiled at me when he caught me watching, but only asked if I was ready to eat.

Ella set the dining room table tonight and left our plates in the warmer. He took the chair closest to me, instead of across from me, our legs were touching under the table and it was making me warm in places. Then he asked how my day was. I told him I painted my finger and toe nails. He looked under the table and grabbed my foot, bringing it to his lap. He pulled off my sock and looked at the pink paint. "Cute," he said with a little smile. He continued to eat with one hand, while the other rubbed my foot, and spoke about his meetings. Did I mention I was warm in places?

After dinner he went into the bedroom and came back out in thick navy blue sweat pants and a gray tee shirt. Huh, not black, and definitely sexy. I smiled at him and asked if we were going to watch a movie, it seemed to be our most common evening activity.

He shook his head and told me he'd planned to go up to the roof and look at the stars, but the clouds ruined his plans so he thought he could teach me to use some of the RangeMan programs on his computer. So why not, right?

So we went into his home office and I pulled up a chair next to his. Turns out when he said programs, they weren't exactly all 'legal' programs. First, he showed me how to access the tracking devices, he pulled up mine, Tank's, and his. I tried it and pulled up Lester. He said the guys all carried trackers in case something happened out in the field. That kind of made me feel less like a freak for having trackers on my person for years. He slipped an arm around the back of my chair and told me that if I ever wanted to see where he was all I had to do was look on there.

Second, he showed me how to flip through the client cameras. I'd done a little of that when I'd worked there years ago, but I could tell they'd upgraded the system. So I played with that a little. Third, he showed me how to get into security cameras that didn't belong to RangeMan. That felt a little naughty and I may have had some fun with that. Then lastly, he showed me the 'secret' cameras that they'd installed. He said most of the guys didn't know about these and that they'd installed them for some special projects. I asked if that had to do with his super-secret spy shit, but he just smirked at me and said Babe, I guess I'd amused him again.

He said they were for surveillance and nothing more, no spy shit. I still think it looked like spy shit. They were recording entrances on homes, windows, and different spots on the roads or surrounding buildings. He pulled up one of a white house. It panned around, taking film of the different spots outside. Then he flipped to a camera to the back of the house and then to one in the living room. I looked up at him surprised, he had cameras in the house? He just nodded toward the screen again.

I looked back at the monitor and watched a woman knitting something and a man sitting in a recliner holding a remote. Then he leaned over and whispered in my ear, "Those are my parents."

I was fascinated and horrified all at once. I couldn't stop looking at them. They were both dark skinned and haired like Ranger. I could tell his dad was tall too, but his mom looked shorter than me, but she was really pretty. Then I looked up at him and asked him what if he'd caught them having sex or something.

He just laughed and said they knew not to have sex in the living room, they knew he had a camera in there, but he agreed to only check it for emergencies. He flipped it again, this time settling in an apartment building garage. He pointed to one of the cars and told me he watched his younger sister walk to her elevator when she worked nights, she was a nurse in Newark. Then he flipped the camera again to a yellow sided house, where the camera was pointed at a bedroom window. He said that one belonged to his daughter, Julie, down in Miami. Then he flipped it again and it turned to a house in a wooded area that looked like it was on a lake. I asked who lived there and he said no one, but he went there to relax sometimes. When I looked up at him he grinned and said, "That's the Batcave, Babe."

I wasn't sure why he was sharing these things with me, but it was so much, almost too much. He must have noticed me started to freak, because he just touched my cheek and looked at me. "I don't want to be a stranger anymore," he told me. I nodded back to him, still unsure what he meant. "I really suck at this. I know I have problems opening up, but I want you to know me." I nodded back to him. He smiled and leaned over and kissed my lips softly. "Babe, I was wondering if you'd like to go out with me tomorrow night?"

I didn't know what to say to that. Out? Like on a date or like to run to the store or the guys are all hanging out? He just shook his head. "On a date. A real date. Not a job. Just the two of us," he answered.

"Why?" I questioned. I knew that was stupid, but it seemed out of the blue.

"Because I want to take you somewhere nice and spend time with you. I enjoy being with you," he answered.

I think I was stupefied again. I just sat there. A date? I couldn't remember that last real date I'd been on. "I don't have anything to wear," I mumbled.

He just grinned then and said I could wear a potato sack and still be the sexiest woman in Trenton. I rolled my eyes at him, but he just laughed then and said, "I'll have Ella get you something. Will you go then?" I was going to argue that he couldn't buy me things, but then he whispered please and all my argument went away.

So then I asked him what words he would use to describe me. His twisted one of my curls around his finger as he looked at me. "Brilliant, creative, independent, modest, trustworthy, brave, caring, dependable, loving, bold, beautiful, sexy, outgoing, cute, funny, strong.." I stopped him there and asked if he was serious. He just told me he'd never lie to me. So I told him that I'd love to go out with him.

After I poked around on his computer and tried out a few of the games he had installed we headed to bed. Like I'd told Dr. Westin earlier that day, my body was responding to being near him. God, was it really tonight. I felt like I was on a freaking hormone overload.

I'd stripped out of my clothes while he was in the shower and crawled into bed. He came back into the bedroom wearing nothing but a towel wrapped around his waist. His hair was all damp and moisture was beaded up on his torso making me want to crawl over there and it lick it off his abs. I'd never seen anything as sexy as that. Damn.

I closed my eyes since I was afraid I'd actually drool a little. I heard the towel drop and the bed dip as he sat down, then I felt the blankets tug as he pulled them over himself. By then the smell of his shower gel permeated my senses and sent tingles straight through me. Oh, God, I didn't know how I was going to keep my lips off him.

Then his hand skimmed across my bare stomach, making everything inside me tighten and buzz. He gripped my hip and pulled me across the bed toward him. Once he was pressed against my back he leaned in and breathed on my neck sending goose bumps straight down to my toes. "Good night, Steph," he whispered in my ear.

I turned my head and looked back at him. I knew it wasn't just me. I could see the heat in his eyes. "Good night, Ranger," I whispered back. Then he touched his lips to mine, a light, little peck of a kiss. He moved back, but still stared at my lips, like he was fighting himself. So I closed the inches between us and kissed him myself.

I turned in his arms and wrapped my arm around his back, trapping the other arm between our bodies. His hands found my hair and he clenched it, like he was trying not to touch more of me, but that kiss, holy crap. We just kissed over and over, tasting, licking, nibbling each other's mouths, kissing more deeply than I'd ever kissed anyone. It was at least an hour later when I settled my head on his chest and kissed him lightly there. He kissed the top of my head. "Sweet dreams, Babe," he told me. They were all filled with him.

The next morning he was gone when I woke, but he left a note that said he went to the gym so he wouldn't molest me in my sleep. That made me laugh. I took an extra-long shower, I still wasn't able to get the magic going down below, but I did finish all my date prep: scrubbing, shaving, buffing. Then I used a large quantity of his Bulgari shower gel and let it make me feel all warm and gooey when I remembered him kissing me last night. I couldn't wait for tonight.