September 14….500pm
Sunday mornings were always a favorite of mine, or at least since I moved into my apartment and wasn't forced out of bed for mass by my mother. I'd normally sleep or at least lay in bed until noon before starting my day with whatever sugar filled goodies I could find. Then I'd spend the day in my sweats watching TV.
This Sunday morning was completely different. Ranger woke me at seven, which was sleeping in for him believe it or not. He'd already been up for a couple hours when he came in to drag me down to the gym. I don't know what I had been thinking last night when I agreed to try working out, then again I didn't know we were starting the work outs immediately either.
Being a Sunday, the gym wasn't as full as it was during the week. Or maybe it was because we were there so late in the morning, those guys loved to get up in the middle of the night and call it morning. Maybe it was military thing? Either way, I was in the gym and decided to go with what I knew. I started out on the treadmill. I ran three miles while Ranger probably tripled that in the same time, but whatever it wasn't a competition. He looked me over and I think he could tell that I still hated running because he did this little smirky laugh thing that would have been annoying if it weren't so cute.
He didn't say anything about it though, he just asked me if I wanted to try something new. He thought I'd like hitting the bags with him. So I let him drag me off to the punching bags. I'd never tried them before, but I'd seen the guys working with them, a lot.
At first I thought it was really stupid. I didn't understand how punching a padded bag was exercise, but after he showed me the right way to position my body and swing, it was a much more natural feeling. The bonus of having Ranger pressed against my back as he helped me follow through on my punches may have upped the enjoyment a little, I don't know. Okay, so I do know. I can't help it, I crave the feel of that man against me. Plus, we were all warm and sweaty and he still managed to smell good. So I had to try really hard to focus on what he was saying instead of the hormones that were rushing through me.
"Did you like it?" he asked me when I was ready to collapse. I nodded back to him, unable to breathe, which made him smile. He said tomorrow he could show me some kicks if I was interested. Oddly enough I am interested. I think the punching and kicking might be slipping into a little of the self-defense he's been bugging me to work on for years, but what the hell. I'd been thinking of giving it a try before now anyway, it was always more that I just couldn't afford the lessons and never found the time to do it.
I knew he was trying to find things I enjoyed, but the fact that he's taking time to actually make it fun for me is pretty sweet. I never thought of sweet as a word I'd use to describe Ranger, but for the better part of this last week he'd been nothing but sweet to me.
Even the date we went on last night turned out to be sweet. He took me to dinner at Marsilio's and was very talkative and attentive. Neither of us were much into PDA, but he didn't seem to mind kissing me at the restaurant, neither did I though. It's actually getting hard to keep my hands and lips off of him no matter where we are. After dinner, he took me down to a spot on the river and we danced under the stars to music that was playing from the car stereo. See sweet. Then when we got home, he was actually playful and funny until we got to the point where I knew we both wanted to just rip each other's clothes off and do it right there in his closet. Instead of making a move, he just scooped me up in his arms and crawled into bed, he held me and kissed me repeatedly until we'd both fallen asleep. It was absolutely sweet, sweeter than I'd ever been treated before. It kind of scared me that I was enjoying it so much. I was afraid it'd go away and I didn't want to go back to the way we were before I moved in. I liked this Ranger.
When I was done working out I laid on a mat and watched him work the bag I'd just been hitting. Holy crap. He'd taken off his shirt so he was just wearing black gym shorts slung low on his hips. God, the things I want to do to that man. The way his muscles bunched and moved under his skin, wow oh wow. I think I could watch that all day. He was definitely a sex god, there was no other explanation for the way he made me feel.
Bobby plopped down on the mat next to me and smiled. He asked if I was working out or just enjoying the show. I rolled my eyes at him which made him laugh. I looked back at Ranger and smiled. Something about the way all the guys had supported me since I needed help made it a lot easier to look at Bobby and say, "Ranger's trying to find some exercises that I like so I'll stick with it. He says that working out helps him with his depression and I can use all the help I can get right now."
Bobby looked from me to Ranger, then back again. He nodded to me and agreed that exercise was one of the best natural combatants for depression. Then he asked what else I had been trying. I told him about seeing Dr. Westin and the medication he'd put me on. He agreed that medication was a good choice. Then he asked if I'd been eating the same meals as Ranger. I had been, for the most part. He told me that was good and I should stick with it, healthy diet can help depression too, especially tuna and salmon. I scrunched up my nose. That would explain the lox he ate for breakfast most days.
He pulled me to my feet and walked me over to the weights. I had never really lifted weights before and didn't want to look like Hal or Vince. Bobby laughed at that. He told me that strength training wasn't going to make me look like a bodybuilder. He had me try each of the weight centers, finding my maximum lift weight for each. He wrote them down and at the end handed me a sheet. It had listed my goals for the next two weeks, how much to lift and how many reps to do. Surprisingly, it seemed like something I could do and wouldn't suck like running.
Then Bobby asked me what else I'd been doing with my days. I hadn't been doing anything. He smiled then and told me that I should talk to Ranger about doing some work around the office part-time or he was teaching a CPR/first aid class that started this coming Wednesday night that I could try. He said getting into a work routine and feeling like I had purpose was just as important as exercise and it helped a lot of people to learn something new or take a class when they are dealing with anxiety problems.
Then Manny, who'd been lifting weights, walked over and told me that he volunteers at the food pantry and they were looking for help sorting and stocking the donations if I wanted to go with him. Then Cal came over and offered to take me biking in the mornings, he wasn't a runner either, but loved to bike. Then Ram was offering to take me swimming, a lot easier on the joints than running he said. Then Binkie came over and told me that he took yoga classes to help him stay relaxed and offered to bring me along if I wanted to try it out. Then finally Raphael told me that he took dance lessons at a local studio, it was great exercise and he liked learning something new, but he needed a partner that wouldn't try feeling him up like the single women at the studio did.
After a while I was just standing there talking to the guys and it felt good. I felt more normal than I had in a long time. I knew they were all good, caring men, even though I didn't know them all that well, but at that moment I loved them all so much. I thought I was going to cry they were being so kind to me. Finally, Ranger made his way through the crowd and slipped an arm around my waist. "Gentlemen?" he questioned. They muttered back a mixture of boss and Ranger to him. "What's going on?" he asked them.
I started laughing then and told him that the guys had found out about my depression and anxiety problems and were offering to help me, in their own ways. He got a weird look on his face, but masked it pretty quickly. I told the guys to email me the dates and times of the activities they'd mentioned and I'd let them know if I could work it into my schedule. I know that sounded weird, I don't have much of a schedule, but I wanted to talk everything over with Ranger before I agreed to it.
So we headed up stairs together while I told him about the different offers from the guys and the suggestions that Bobby made. He finally just pulled me against him and told me how proud he was of me for sharing with Bobby and the guys. Then he kissed my nose, and I swear he made me blush, again.
He also thought some of the guys' suggestions were really good ones. He thought going back to work part time for Tank would really help him with the paperwork that always piled up and maybe getting out of the building for a class or some volunteer work would be good for me too. He even conceded that the guys were right in offering some alternate exercise suggestions, biking, swimming, and dancing were great cardio workouts. The one thing he told me he really wanted me to do was the yoga with Binkie. He thought that would be a really good tool for me.
So after showers and breakfast we spent a couple hours putting together a schedule for the week. Ranger has always been overly organized and I found out this morning that was all due to his illness too. He felt like if he kept himself on a schedule or routine, it keeps him on task and doesn't allow the days to melt together when he's in the middle of down cycle.
After that he went in his home office to do some catch up on an account proposal for later this week so I decided to check my voicemail and email. I had a feeling there would be a bunch of messages about our date last night. I wasn't wrong. There were six from my mother asking me if I was back in town and if it was true that I was on a date with a rich business man, then she demanded I call her and come to dinner. I was laughing so hard that Ranger came out to check on me. I put the phone on speaker and played the message for him.
He just laughed and shook his head and said, "Babe." Clearly he was amused too. Then he suggested that if I wanted to see my parents I should invite them here for dinner instead of going there. Avoid the dragon's lair he said, which made me smile. It was true, here she couldn't pull me aside and berate me for leaving town or dating Ranger, but I kind of didn't want her to invade our space. I felt like this was our happy little place.
He just shrugged and told me to blow her off then, she couldn't demand to see me at her will. I was an adult. I didn't know about that, maybe it was the thirty plus years of the guilt she'd laid on me, but I couldn't just blow her off. So I ended up calling her.
She answered and sweetly asked if I was back in town, so I told her I was back. So then she asked me about the man I had been on a date with. I told her it was Ranger. As soon as she heard that her voice changed. She was disapproving then. She told me that Joe had been seen on dates with three different women in the last couple weeks, two of them weren't even Italian. I don't know why that makes a difference to her, she's not Italian either, but for some reason she looked down on people that weren't. I was pretty proud of how calm I stayed. I told her Joe broke up with me so we were both moving on. She snorted and I heard the glass clank, she was probably drinking again. She told me that she'd have dinner ready at six.
As soon as she said that my body tensed up, I knew I couldn't go there. Ranger wasn't wrong, she was a dragon and she'd destroy me if she got me into her kitchen. So I told her that I wanted to have her, dad, and Grandma Mazur over to our apartment for dinner. I wanted her to see where I was living and they could get to know Ranger better. She actually choked then and shrieked, "You're living with him? When were you going to tell us that?"
I sighed then. I didn't know why I didn't just blow her off like Ranger had suggested. This was going to be a disaster. So I finally just asked if she wanted to come over or not, she sighed back and said they would be over at six. I gave her the address, even though I knew dad knew where RangeMan was located, and told her I'd let the guys' at the gate know they were expected.
When I hung up I felt kind of sick. Ranger rubbed my back and told me it would be fine, he'd be there for me. I knew he would. It was just something about my mother that made me feel like I was a fuck up and this was the one thing I didn't want her to ruin for me. I loved being here with him.
I turned into his body, letting him hold me while he called down to Ella and told her that we'd be having my family over for dinner and I'd probably need some help getting the table set how I wanted it. When he hung up I pressed my lips to his and thanked him for doing this for me. He told me there was no thanks needed, they had to get used to seeing us together because he wasn't going anywhere.
So after lunch Ella came up to pick up our dirty dishes and helped me set up the dining room table for five and asked me about the menu. I have never hosted a dinner before, so thank god she just suggested a few things and asked what my parents liked to eat. We decided on green salads for starters, followed by chicken Kiev served with steamed green beans with roasted almonds, wild rice with broccoli florets, twice baked potatoes, dinner rolls, and berry tartlets for dessert. I have no idea how she's going to get all that made before dinner, she assured me that four hours was plenty of time with a gentle smile. I love Ella so much.
After that I curled up and watched Ghostbusters until it was time to get ready. I did my hair and make-up and picked through the new clothes that were filling the closet. I still can't believe he bought out half the store. He drives me crazy when he does stuff like that. I'd actually love to know what goes through his mind when he does it. Seriously. How do you go in planning to buy one dress and a pair of shoes and come back with a truck load? Not to mention the money. I hate when he spends money on me. I know he works hard for his money, putting in tons of hours, probably putting his life in danger, and god knows what else. I don't want him wasting it on me. It seems selfish to accept the gifts and even worse to enjoy them.
He came in while I was standing there staring at the clothes. He slipped his arms around my waist and pulled me back against his chest. He asked if he was still in trouble for buying the clothes, like he read my mind or something. I just shrugged and asked him what he'd imagined me wearing for our first dinner party.
He flipped through the tops and pulled out a sleeveless black silk top with a notched neckline and a pleated front placket. He handed me that before turning back to grab a pair of dark denim skinny jeans and a pair of bright pink FMP's with a four inch heel and ruby jewels adorning the toes. I looked at the outfit and tried to raise an eyebrow at him, but both went up. I really liked the outfit, with the simple dark clothes the bright shoes were perfect. He told me that they wouldn't be perfect until I put them on. Then he turned me and shoved me off toward the bathroom with a pat on my butt.
I looked back at him and something happened. It was like I was punched in the gut or something. I felt like all the air was knocked out of me and I was dizzy and all I could see was him. I closed my eyes and took a breath. There was no way I could deny my feelings anymore. I was falling in love with him, not the man I'd loved for years, but this man that he was now, here. What was I supposed to do with that knowledge?