A/N: This is the first half of the flashbacks.

"Oh, oh, Cartman!" Wendy shouted, "What was mine and Stan's wedding like?"

"I wasn't there. But, Butters…"
"O-oh, okay."

August sixth 2023

"Do you, Stan Marsh, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?" Father Maxi asked whilst standing in front of the marrying pair. Stan was wearing a light blue tuxedo and Wendy was wearing the traditional white wedding dress.

Stan smiled down at Wendy, "I do."
Father Maxi turned to Wendy, "And do you, Wendy Testaburger, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"I do." Wendy replied.

"By the power infested in me, by the state of Colorado, I now pronounce you Man and Wife. You may kiss the bride." Father Maxi finished and the crowd cheered as Stan captured Wendy's lips with his own.

In the reception, Wendy and Stan walked around the groups and thanked them for coming. Stan and Wendy came to Kyle, Kenny and Butters.
Kyle walked up to Stan, "Congrats, dude."

Stan smiled, "Thanks."

Butters smiled at Wendy, "W-well d-done, Wendy. I h-hope you a-and Stan w-will be happy t-together."

Wendy smiled back, "I do too Butters." She then leaded close and asked: "Do you think Kenny'll ask you to marry him?"

Butters blushed, "I-I dunno. I hope so."

Kenny threw his arm around Stan and said, "You now get to eat pussy every night," He raised his beer above his head and spilt some. "Good job."

"Kenny, one: shut up. Two: you're drunk."

"Nah, that's a lay…" Kenny coughed and took another sip of his beer.

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose, "God damn it, Kenny."

Kenny hiccupped and sipped his beer.

Bebe ran over to Wendy and hugged her, having not been able to make the actual wedding due to needing to go to the hospital for an ultrasound.

"Congratulations." She screamed at Wendy and let go of her.

"Thanks. Can I see your ultrasound pictures?" Wendy asked and looked at her blonde friend. The pair walked away, chatting and occasionally squealing until they came to another group of their girlfriends.

"So, Stan, welcome to the end of your life." Clyde chuckled and slapped Stan on the back.

Stan spun around, "Piss off, Donovan." He then chuckled and said: "What about you, Clyde? You're gonna have a kid soon."

Clyde smiled and asked: "Sorry couldn't be there for you and Wendy's wedding."

"S'okay." Stan replied and the group of Stan, Kyle, Butters, Kenny and Clyde began chatting.

The rest of the night was just filled with talking, dancing and laughing. The last five people who were left were Stan (whose parents left when Randy tried to jump through the window), Wendy (whose parents had only just left), Kyle, Butters and Kenny.

March fifth 2035

Wendy gushed as she imagined the event of her and Stan's wedding.

Cartman* smiled down at the little kids and asked: "Who's next?"

"Hey, big me. When did I get back to South Park?"

Cartman laughed: "I know this one!"

August sixth 2023

Kyle and Butters held Kenny up by his limbs and dragged him out of the church. The drunk man was dribbling and was almost asleep.

Kyle turned his head to look at the grave yard, there he saw a woman in a bright red but ripped, and stained dress slumped over a grave and looked as though she was bleeding badly.

Kyle gasped at the sight and let Butters take a hold of Kenny. Kyle ran down the graveyard towards the woman. He crouched next to her and looked at her.

She had long auburn hair and hazel eyes. Her face was slightly round and she had a button nose. Her skin looked fairly smooth. Kyle looked down and saw that she was extremely frail and thin. Kyle leaned closer and saw that she had loads of scars and cuts all over her body. On her face there was a long gash from her nose and down her chin. Kyle picked her up and carried her over to the four others.

Wendy and Butters gasped. "Who's that?" Butters asked as he looked at the woman Kyle was carrying bridal style.

"Dunno, but she was slumped over Leanne Cartman's grave." Kyle responded as Kenny came to.

Kenny looked at the woman in Kyle's arms and smirked, "Oh, Kyle, you got a girlfriend? Good job."

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose and slapped Kenny on the back of his head.

"Shut up, dude. She was over in the grave yard." Kyle said.

"Aw! Dude, Kyle, you like Necrophilia? I'm pretty *hiccup* sure that's illegal!" Kenny shouted.

"She's n-not dead, K-Kenny." Butters stuttered in response.

"Oh." Kenny responded and rubbed his face.

"Stan, could you take me and, you know… her… back to my house. I don't have my car keys." Kyle asked as him, Stan and Wendy waved to the departing Kenny and Butters.

"Sure dude." Stan opened the passenger side door to allow Wendy in to sit next to him as Kyle moved the woman in the seat next to him.

"Thanks," Kyle said and sat next to the woman.

"See ya Stan." Kyle shouted, waving. "Congratulations." Kyle unlocked the door and the woman in his arms wriggled and one of her arms wrapped around his neck. Kyle smiled and laid the woman down on the couch. He ran upstairs and brought the woman a blanket and pillow. He look at her and thought she looked familiar in some way.

He shrugged it off and walked upstairs to go to bed.

Kyle woke up at eleven o'clock and walked downstairs. He saw that Ike was sitting in the kitchen eating a bowl of cornflakes. Ike smirked. "What's that woman doing in there?" Ike asked, pointing a thumb behind him at the living room.

Kyle frowned, "I found her in a grave yesterday." He walked into the living room just as the woman began to stir. He bent down on his right knee just as her long eyelashes fluttered open.

"Hello, how's it going?" Kyle asked as he smiled at her.

The woman gasped and pushed herself up.

"Hey, hey, hey… it's okay. Sit down, what's your name?" Kyle asked.

"What's yours?" The woman asked in a high–ish voice.

Kyle smiled at her and said: "Kyle. Kyle Broflovski."

The woman screamed and scrambled to her feet. She ran and tried to sprint out of the door but the taller and stronger man blocked her in. "What's wrong?"
"I need to go!" The woman shrieked as she tried to get past.

Kyle spent ten minutes calming the woman down. "Now, what's your name?"

The woman sighed, "Eric Cartman." She… he … squinted as Kyle's eyes widened.

"What‽ Eric Cartman‽ THE Eric Cartman?" Kyle shouted, standing up and gaping in shock.

Cartman sighed and looked down. "Yes."

"B-but… you can't be! You're thin and you've been gone for eight years." Kyle shouted.

Cartman nodded and looked down. "Yea."

"What are you doing here‽" Kyle shouted.

"W-well, I was dressed up in a dress by this one kid as a 'leaving gift'. I was then beaten and thrown on a bus to go back here. Once off of the bus I went to my mom's grave and saw there was a party or something going on inside the church. I must have passed out or something."

Kyle was shocked at what Cartman said. "Why did they stick you in a dress?"

Cartman shrugged and said: "Punishment for being a transvestite, I guess."

"Y-you're a transvestite?" Kyle asked, though he already knew he was at least comfortable in woman's clothing.

Cartman rolled his eyes, which were becoming glassy. "Like you didn't already know."

Kyle was silent for a few minutes until he said: "S-so, how's it been since you left?" Despite already knowing the answer.

A few tears welled up in Cartman's eyes and he shrugged. "Okay, I guess."

Kyle raised an eyebrow at Cartman. "What's wrong?" Kyle asked, predicting, once again, that he already knew the answer.

The tears began to fall and Cartman smashed his palms to his face. "Oh god, I hated it there!"

Kyle, tentatively, took and held Cartman in his arms.

Kyle had noticed that Cartman had changed in almost every way. Personality. Physical appearance. Emotional balance. Cartman looked almost exactly like a girl in every way. His face, features and appearance.

Kyle sighed and let go of Cartman. "I'm gonna call the others."

March fifth 2035

Cartman growled at the smug look he got from Kenny, "Piss off, Po' Boy!"

"W-who's next?" Butters asked, looking around.

Butters blushed and said: "W-when was m-mine and Kenny's first date?"

May twentieth 2020

Butters smiled as he walked up to Kenny, hiding a rose behind his back.

"H-hi, Kenny."

Kenny smiled at Butters as he turned away from his locker. "Hey, Butters. What's up?"

Butters looked down and brought the rose to in front of himself. "Err… Kenny, d-do you want t-to go to Casa Bonita tonight?" Butters asked, blushing.

Kenny smiled and tussled Butter's hair happily. "Cause I will."

Butters began to beam and hugged Kenny. "Oh, thank you Kenny!"

Kenny smiled wider and rubbed Butters' back. Kenny had wanted to go out with Butters for a while, he just didn't know how he should aproach it because up until then, he had only fucked random girls and guys he had no feelings for. He knew Butters was going to buy him dinner that night and at least if the date didn't go right he would always have that.

Kenny knocked on Butters door at seven thirty. He was wearing his blue suit and, surprisingly, didn't have his usual parka on. His usuall dirty, messy blond hair was still messy but was a lot cleaner. He was also wearing a black coat over his suit His shoes were polished black and he had a bouqquet of roses in his hands.

Butters opened the door and smiled, happily, at Kenny. He took the roses and slowly kissed Butters on his cheek. Butters was wearing his light blue suite and his pale yellow tie. "Thank you, Kenny." Butters gushed.

"So, we gonna get a goin'?" Kenny asked.

"O-okay." Butters replied and then shouted: "By mom, by Ron."

The pair walked to Casa Bonita and told the man at the doorway their reservations. A waiter led them to a secluded booth, away from any possible homophobic catcalls as the first gay couple since Mr. Slave and Big Gay Al.

Kenny smiled as he took the menus from the waiter and nodded as to tell him he's okay.

"So, Kenny, h-how have y-you been."

Kenny smiled and slid closer to Butters and slinked his arm around him, "I've been juuuuust fahn!"

Butters smiled as well and leaned into Kenny's side and the pair of them read the menu. "What do you want?" Kenny asked Butters after a few minutes of reading the menu.

"I l-like the burrito platter and I'll have a coke." Butters said and smiled.

Kenny nodded and the pair chatted for a while until the waiter came back, "Hello, what would you like to drink tonight?"

"We'll both have a refillable glass of cock." Kenny replied.

"Okay, and for your meal, sirs, what would you like?"

"I'll have a three–taco–taco platter and he'll have a burrito platter."

The waiter nodded and smiled. "Okay, well, I'll be back soon with your drinks."

Butters smiled at the waiter as he left.

The pair continued chatting all through their meal, sharing bits of it by feeding each other.

"Shall I get the bill for you two gentlemen?" The waiter asked and looked at Kenny.

"Yea, you can go get that."

The waiter left and then came back a little while later with the bill and he placed it on the table. "I'll be back in a few minutes."

Butters pulled out his wallet and placed down the amount for the bill and then left a fifty percent tip. The pair stood and left the Mexican restaurant. On their way home, Butters shivered. Kenny smiled and took off his jacket and wrapped it around Butters shoulder and smiled.

"T-thanks, Kenny."

Kenny smiled and nodded as they came to the Stotch's doorstep. Butters opened the door with his key and took off Kenny's jacket, handing it to him. "G-goodnight, K-Kenny." Butters said as he pecked Kenny on the lips.

Kenny chuckled and captured Butters lips and began to make out with him. Butters wrapped his arms around Kenny's neck and continued to make out with Kenny, moaning lightly.

Kenny moved back and smiled, "Night, Butters."

Butters looked dazzled as he stared at Kenny's retreating form.

March fifth 2035

Butters was blushing and Kenny was smiling behind his parka.

"Next." Cartman* said, rolling his hand around.

"Hey!" Damian shouted, "Why the fuck did I marry a fucking almost–Jesus when I'm the bloody anti–Christ."

Lucifer Thorn stood up, growled and shouted: "What did you say‽"

Damian and Lucifer's pupils dilated and four vases lifted off of the ground.

"Jesus Christ!" Cartman* shouted and jumped behind the couch.

The four vases launched at each other and the vases smashed over the floor.

Damian made his arms become engulfed with flames, as did Lucifer.

Cartman* looked at Butters*, "Do you know how to calm them down."

"No." Butters* whispered and continued looking at the angry pair of demons.

Elizabeth stood and slowly moved her hands to be in front of her. "STOP!" She screamed in a thick Pip–like accent and froze the pair.

"What the fuck, you dumb broad‽" Damian shouted at the blond girl who was glaring at her and forcing himself out of the frozen state.

Cartman* sneaked out of the room and ran to his phone and dialled Pip's* work number. "Hello, Broflovski–Cartman Enterprises, advertising division. How may I help you?" The thick British accent asked out.

"Pip, Pip…" Cartman* took in a heavy breath and the exhaled it. "Can you tell Damian to come to my h-house?"

"If you don't mind me asking, Eric, but would really would jolly well like to know why."

"Your kids and young Damian are acting up. Damian called you something like 'a fucking almost–Jesus' and Lucifer got kinda mad." Cartman* explained and awaited Pip's* response.

"Oh my," Pip* said, "Well I'll contact him right away!"

Cartman* hung up and snuck back into the room and saw that the three were still arguing, fireballs pointing towards them.

"Piss off, you blond haired bitch!" Damian shouted.

"Shut up, CUNT!" Lucifer screamed.

Suddenly, the flams in the fire place. The massive flames formed a humanoid figure. The face was that of Damian*. "Stop arguing, all of you!"

"But he called dad 'Jesus'!" Lucifer shouted.

"Actually," Damian smiled in a grim, evil looking smirk forming on his lips, "I said: "why the fuck did I marry a fucking almost–Jesus when I'm the bloody anti–Christ" not just 'Jesus'."

Lucifer growled and threw Butters at him.

"AH!" Butters shouted as he hit Damian.

Cartman* hid further behind the couch.

"STOP IT NOW!" Damian screamed and the flames burned brighter. "Now, I'll leave. See ya Cartman, Butters." The flames shrank and became normal again.

Cartman* smiled and jumped back onto his seat. "So, Butters, explain."

June fifth 2025

Pip ran down the street, happily, in the rain. The British twenty–year–old, not noticing the dark figure leaning against the lamppost, tripped over a foot. He heard a chuckle from above him and he stood, glaring. When he recognised the person, the angry glare turned into a curious smile. "Damian? Damian Thorn?" The man asked.

"Yea. Who're you?"

"It's me. Pip Pirrup. I'm the person you brought back up from hell after I was squashed by Mecha–Streisand."

"Oh yea, how's it been?" Damian asked, not really giving a crap.

"Okay." Pip responded, sensing the 'don't care'–ness in his voice.

Damian smiled and asked: "Would you like to grab something to eat?"

"Sure." Pip responded and the pair walked away.

The pair, after their meal, went back to Damian's apartment and had sex.

After that night, the pair began dating. Little did Pip know at the time that Damian's sperm could make him pregnant.

(A/N 2: I am so sorry this short little story was shit! I didn't want to make it longer because I don't read or write Dip so I decided to make the flash back interim a little longer. But don't get me wrong, I do like the pair in the terms of I wouldn't want those two characters going out with anyone else. I got the idea for the Dip and the Bunny flashbacks from 'MUSTACHEMADAM'. I'll do the Creek one in part two.)

March fifth 2035

"Who's next?" Cartman* asked.

Cartman asked quietly, sinking into himself: "W-what was it like when mom died?"

Cartman* gulped.

August nineteenth 2015

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

Cartman looked at his mother, lying in her hospital bed, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Leanne Cartman had been hospitalised for two months. She had a number of STDs, mild breast cancer and an unnamed, unknown disease which made her consciousness go from awake to asleep in a matter of seconds.

Tears welled up in Cartman's eyes and he buried his face in his chubby little hands. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a sheet of paper and looked at it.

It was a drawing of a little, round child holding the right hand of a tall, brown–haired woman. A little bit away, there were two tall, redheads, the same colour hair as Kyle's, as well as a blonde woman who was next to the tallest redhea. Cartman laid his hand over the drawing and looked at the title which was underlined in thick, black pen.

'My family!'

The tears in his eyes began to fall down his cheeks and a few landed on the paper. He hopped off of his chair and walked over to his mother, who was beginning to awake.

"H-hi, mommy." Cartman said, moving into the bed with his mother.

"Hi, Eric… what do you have there?" Leanne asked in a croaky voice, looking at the sheet of paper in her son's hand.

"I-it's a picture I drawd for you." Cartman said, unable to control his childish speech.

"'Drew', Eric, you drew it for me." Leanne corrected before taking the picture from her son. As she looked it over, the tears welled up in her eyes. "Oh, Eric." She took Cartman into her arms and cried with him.

"I love you, mommy."

"I love you too, Eric."

Leanne noticed a familiar looking ginger walk past the room, she just couldn't place who it was.

Leanne and Cartman fell asleep.

The morning after, Eric awoke to the sound of the beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beeeeeeeeeeeee.

Cartman began to panic as doctors rushed in and he was taken from his mother's arms. Tears began to fall fast from Cartman's eyes as he stared at the straight line. "No, no, no! Mommy!" He shouted, struggling against the doctors who were seating him down.

"Please, little boy, you need to stay seated. The doctors are working on your mother." Cartman was the led away.

After that, the police came to take Cartman and talk to him in the Park County Police Station. "Eric, we're going to let you stay here, in the police station's child room, until after the start of the new school year so you can say goodbye to your friends. After that, we'll take you to one of the adoption agencies in the Denver. Okay?"

Cartman sniffed and nodded. The ginger man stood and said: "You can go home and grab a small amount of your belongings tomorrow."

Cartman awoke on the sofa in the clown covered room when a police officer came in and shook him, "Mr. Cartman, we're going over to your house in half an hour." He said.

Cartman rubbed his eyes sadly and nodded.

The police car drove towards Cartman's house… old house… 21208 Bonanza Cir. Cartman looked up and down his street and noticed a group of four boys walking down the street, the one in an orange parka bouncing a basketball. There was one in an orange jacket with a green ushanka, one had a brown jacket and a blue beanie, one was in an orange parka and one had a baby blue shirt and a small tuft of blond hair. Cartman sighed watching his friends leave before walking into his house and grabbing only cloths and his Clyde Frog.

September fifth 2015

"Hey, Stan, back to school I guess." Kyle chuckled as Stan stood next to him at the bus stop.

"Yea. First day of fifth grade." Stan replied.

"Hey Stan, hey Kyle!" Kenny shouted as he ran up to them and jumped onto Kyle's back and began giving him a noogie."

Kyle threw Kenny off of his back, "Stop it asshole."

"Aw…" Kenny hauled himself off of the floor. "Hey, I heard we got Garrison again. You think that's true?"

Stan groaned, "Knowing our luck."

The three talked until the bus came, "Jeez, first day and the Fatass is already late!" Kyle said.

Kenny and Stan laughed as they followed Kyle onto the bus. As they stepped off of the bus they saw all of their male friends (besides Cartman) standing in front of the school.

They all continued chatting for five minutes until the doors opened and they walked inside.

They then went to their fifth grade class and walked inside but, just before they did, the class saw a fat, Cartman–esc figure in a black hoodie burst out of the door and run down the hall.

"What the fuck‽" Kyle shouted.

The group then walked into the room and sat down, waiting for their teacher.

Garrison walked through the door and said: "Settle down, settle down! I'm mad I've got you lot again as well!" Garrison then dropped his stuff on his desk. He opened his desk drawer and pulled out the class registration list and noticed a sheet of paper with words written on them.

After Garrison pulled it out, Red asked: "What's that, Mr. Garrison?"

"It's a letter." He responded.

"Who from?" Heidi asked.

Garrison turned over a page, "It's from… Eric Cartman?" Garrison raised his left eyebrow.

"What does it say?" Kevin Stoley asked.

Garrison began to read:

Dear asshole classmates,
I am leaving the school, as my mother died while I was in her arms and her hospital bed.
I don't know how to do this, so all I want to say is: sorry!
I'm sorry I was an asshole. I'm sorry I was a racist. I'm sorry I killed people. I'm sorry for being around you.
I have a few confessions. Do with them what you wish.
Number one: I was the person who burnt Mrs. Claridge, not Trent Boyett.
Number two: Mr. Garrison, I took Mr. Hat back in third grade.
Number three, this is the least important and probably means the least to you, but: I'm gay.
I think that's all I want to say…
Oh, yea, I almost forgot, I'm attracted to Kyle.
Yours not sincerely,
Eric Cartman.

Garrison looked up from the paper and said: "Well, I guess it's my lucky day!"

March fifth 2035

Cartman had tears stinging his eyes as he rubbed his face.

Kyle bit his lip, not wanting to look at his future husband but also wanting to check if he was okay. Despite himself, Kyle turned and looked at Cartman.

A/N 3: So how was that? Please tell me and also give me more questions. I couldn't think of anymore.