Continuation of Chapters 35- 38

Take me To Church by Hozier

The only heaven I'll be sent to
Is when I'm alone with you—

I was born sick,
But I love it
Command me to be well
Amen.

39. A Hymn to the Sea

It was a pointless move. Why had he flown out here if he was going to stall?

She was still oblivious to the fact that he had been near her for the the past forty eight hours, yet he refused to go anywhere near her and insisted that he continue to maintain his distance for a while longer. He'd been ghosting through life without her. It was as if he had been in a silent trance; a meditation that he had been stuck in. One didn't simply snap out of a meditation after long period of time. A few hail Mary's had to be said first before stepping back into the world.

Thus on a Friday afternoon he found himself sitting in an empty church. The orange glow of the candlelight cast a glint across the wood around him. It gave off a sense of cleanliness that he hadn't felt in a very long time. A sense of purity. A part of him tried to latch on to that feeling as best he could given the circumstances.

He was here to accept his fate. He was doomed for hell, of that he was sure. There was still some hope. That small silver lining that God had sent him long ago. Or rather, the silver lining which he had forcefully grabbed and thrust into his line of sight to keep from straying away from the path he had set for her. The light had nearly gone out of that silver lining many a time. In death. Loss. And frustration. She had nearly succumbed to her darker nature because of him; that is until he had walked away from her on that cold December night.

Could he really barge back into her life and expect her to take him in with open arms? She had done so once, albeit reluctantly after the Garrick incident.

Mr. Kaplan and Dembe's reports had brought the exact same news month after month. She was safe and healthy but drifting through each day as well. Eventually it had come to the point where he could no longer bear to hear the news. He asked Dembe to bring no news at all unless her life was being threatened. Since his disappearance, no one had emerged to stir trouble. The criminal world knew to keep away from Red Reddington and his lady friend. He could bring them down and into a cell one hundred feet below with his connections in the FBI. Some people respected when a great criminal such as Red Reddington retired. Thus with all of his enemies either dead or in a box, he was a free man.

His spirit was still being kept prisoner though. She had the lock and key, and he needed it back. Without it, he was but a walking breathing body. Nothing else.

Hail Mary full of grace-

Give me the serenity to tell what is right-

Lamb of god-

Deliver me from evil

Red pressed his head against the smooth wood of the pew he was kneeling at. His prayers flitted though his mind in a jumbled mess.

A warm hand pressed against his shoulder. A familiar touch he had felt during his times of guidance as a young boy.

The voice broke the silence. "What does your heart tell you, Raymond?"

Red pressed his head against the pew and squeezed his eyes shut. "My heart wants her, Father," he replied in a hoarse voice. "Only her."

"God speaks to you."

"I cant pull her back into the life of monster, Father!"

Red lifted his head and gazed at the man.

With a sigh, the old priest took a seat beside him.

"Do you think he forgave that dying criminal next to him because he thought he was a monster?" He asked, motioning towards the wooden cross at the front with his head.

Red gave him no answer.

"He obviously saw something that was worth saving, Raymond. So do I. And I'm sure she will too."

Red remained kneeling and gazed up at the figure hanging on the cross. He clutched the crucifix in his hand.

"Go to her Raymond. Her heart calls for yours."

"I know," Red replied.

A/N: What did you think? Leave a review! Red and Lizzie's reunion is looming close! How will it go?

Downton Abbey premiers today, and Fedora Monday is tomorrow! How awesome is that! If only I could finish my History essay. Let me know what you guys think of the songs if you listen to them as well! Special shout out to JackandSam!