Chapter 5: Atonement

In the morning Hook and Emma woke, enjoying a few minutes of quiet together in his cabin before they knew it was time to go. There were people to rescue, a home to return to, towns to uncurse, a normal day in their lives, it seemed. Once they got to town, both were eager to get on with their journey, but Louis insisted that they eat before going to see the woman he referred to as 'Mama,' since those were her instructions. It was clear that, though the locals seemed to have genuine affection for Odalee, they also seemed to fear her.

Shortly thereafter, they began the long trek through the swampland. This time, Odalee was ready for them. Emma and Hook made a some requests and Odalee moved around her home, knowing every jar, nook and cranny as she gathered a few things and put them in a leather satchel that she gave to Emma. "This map will help guide your way," Odalee said, producing a small opaque sphere and waiting for Hook to take it. "But do not use it until you leave the borders of this place."

"How will we know where to go until then?" Emma asked.

"Head toward the setting sun," Odalee answered. "You will come to a narrow passage that will take you beyond the limits of this cursed land. Once you are on the other side, use magic to activate the map. It will take you to where you need to go."

"And once we free the lass?" Hook questioned.

"Bring her back to me," Odalee replied.

"You said something about a guide…," Emma mentioned.

"With that map, you will have what you need," the older woman answered.

Emma nodded, accepting the challenge with confidence, "Let's go."

"Are you familiar with the concept of penance?" Odalee asked before they could leave.

"Of course," Hook answered, turning slowly back to Odalee.

"In order to succeed in your quest, you will both be tested. The first test you will face will require atonement. You will have to pay the price for the sins of your past and prove your worth," Odalee replied.

"What sort of restitution will I be required to offer?" he asked.

"It's not a matter of restitution. It's about cleansing, and balancing your debt with the universe. I have told you all that I know. The spirits will decide how you must atone."

"That's not a lot to go on," Emma argued.

"I have no more information to give you, but I wanted to give you warning," Odalee replied. "Go to your ship. Louis will gather any things you may need for your journey."

Louis and a group of men he'd brought to the docks delivered supplies to the Jolly Roger. They worked quickly and by late afternoon, Hook and Emma had the necessary supplies and set sail. She was grateful that Henry and her parents weren't in danger this time, at least she hoped. She wished she could get a message to them. The sea was calm and the voyage began almost too quietly.

Just as the sun set that night, Emma caught Hook looking at her from behind the helm. He seemed no less awed by her now that their relationship had actually become physical. In fact, he almost seemed more captivated than he had been. She walked slowly toward him, eradicating the space between them as night closed in. His eyes never left hers, a smile so subtle on his face that she wondered if she might be the only person in the world who could see it for what it was. As the sun gave a final wink on the horizon, she felt a surge of confidence that told her that nothing and no one could possibly make him stop looking at her like that. Even if she wasn't admitting anything out loud, her feelings were growing for him by the day. He had been right for quite some time: He'd won her without trickery or deception, and she did want him.

At the very moment that she acknowledged her feelings with certainty, his eyes closed and his muscles tensed for just a few seconds, a light blue haze surrounding his entire body. Her brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what had just happened to him. "You okay?" she asked.

He looked at her, his eyes questioning something for a moment. "Who are—," he started to say, pausing when something caught his eye. Looking toward his hook, she could see the complete confusion that settled on his face before he shook his wrist a few times, seemingly hoping the attachment would fall away.

He stumbled backward a few steps, trying to back away from the hook as his expression spoke to his complete shock. He tried to pull at the brace where his hook was attached, hoping to find his hand beneath. Realizing the complete depth of his disorientation, Emma held a hand out and lightly touched his forearm, "Killian," she said comfortingly, "relax. Everything is fine."

"It's fine? Who are you?" he angrily yelled, grasping for a sword he seemed to expect would be attached at his hip but was no longer there. "Stay back," he warned.

"It's me. Emma. Swan."

"I know no Swan. What happened to my bloody hand?" he said tugging at the base that covered his wrist.

"I can help you take that off, if you want."

"I want you to stay back," he ordered. "Who took it? The boy? The boy who let my brother die?"

"Rumpelstiltskin," she answered, "he took your hand. I'll explain everything. Your name is Kill—"

"I know my damn name!" he argued. "Where are my men? My crew? What did you do to them?"

"It's been just you and me on this ship for days. You haven't had a crew for a while, since you came to find me. After we returned to Storybrooke, you stayed. You didn't reassemble your crew."

"And why, exactly, would I do that? I'm a pirate," he said less certainly than she was used to. "I need a bloody crew."

She wondered how many years had disappeared from his memory. He was obviously shocked at the loss of his hand, and he still seemed hesitant about declaring himself a pirate. She wondered if he believed his brother had recently died. "You did it because you care about me. You helped me rescue my son. You saved my father's life. You don't remember any of that?" she asked.

"I care about myself, lass."

"You and I, we're…close."

"Your trickery hasn't worked on me, witch. I don't know what you've done to my hand or my men, but I will find out and I will avenge them."

"I didn't do anything. I'm not a witch. I can explain everything."

He found a sword, finally, lifting it in front of his body in defense. He warned, "Then hurry and explain before I run out of patience."

"Killian, you and I have known each other for a while now. Don't you remember the giant's lair? New York? You…confessed your love for me in the Echo Cave in Neverland. You gave up your ship to cross realms and save me?"

He looked down at the deck and said, "I may have lost my brother, my hand and my crew…but clearly I still have my ship…since I'm standing on it."

"We don't know how you got it back, but you did trade it so you could come for me. A few days ago, you and I were together outside of Granny's—"

"What's Granny's? What in the hell are you talking about?"

"A diner, sort of like a tavern. We were together. You and I. And something happened and we ended up here in…limbo. Between worlds. Wait until you can see the stars. You'll see. You told me we're between different worlds but you've never been here before. We met Odalee. She sent us on a quest to free a girl who's been imprisoned. The girl is guarded and we were told we'd have to atone for our mistakes. I think they took your memories because you took someone else's in your quest for revenge. It's a really long story. But if you put down the sword, I will tell you all about it."

He considered everything she'd said, and then narrowed his eyes. "I see no reason to believe anything you've said."

The lack of connection in his gaze, the complete absence of love in his eyes, made him seem like a different man. She wanted to answer all of his questions, to take away his pain, explain his hook, comfort him in his moment of confusion. As she fought the urge to wrap her arms around him and kiss him, she had an idea. It seemed so obvious, once she thought of it. True love's kiss would surely break whatever curse he was under.

"You can trust me," she said, stepping nearer. She walked around his sword, coming closer to his body. She touched his wrist, gently pushing on it to get him to lower his sword. "You don't need that sword," she whispered, alluringly.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing," she said with a reassuring smile.

Her fingers brushed his vest as she leaned closer, bringing her lips to his. "I'm not that daft," he answered.

"You and I…we know each other. I can remind you."

Before her lips could touch his, he stepped away and lifted his sword between them. "Back away," he commanded.

"It's just a kiss."

"That's what you are…some kind of siren. You lured my men to their deaths and now you're here for me. You've chosen the wrong pirate to captivate."

"I didn't hurt them. I don't know how, but you've forgotten years and years of time. You've had that hook for a very long time, but you don't even remember getting it. I need you to trust me."

"How exactly will a kiss make me trust you?" he skeptically scoffed.

She sighed with hesitation and said, reluctantly, "Because a kiss like this can break any curse. And I think you've been cursed."

"You don't lack confidence."

"It's not about confidence. It's about how we feel about each other."

"This is a risk I'm not willing to take. Get in the hold."

"What?"

"Get in the cargo hold while I figure this out," he said, directing her with his blade.

"Take me to your cabin. We slept there, together, last night. I'm sure I can find something to prove that to you. My clothes, my clothes from my world, are down there. That's proof," she argued, her voice growing higher as she tried to convince him.

"Proof of what? You could have stowed away on this ship, used sorcery, had an accomplice."

"Killian," she said, her eyes wide as she stared into them, "you can trust me."

For a moment, it seemed that she'd won him over, but then his expression hardened and he said, "My brother trusted someone. Because of that trust, he's now dead. I'm not about to die today."

"Listen to me," she pleaded, but she could see he wasn't going to budge.

She considered using her magic, but figured that wouldn't do anything to gain his trust since he was already worried she was a witch.

"You can't just imprison me forever," she said.

"I'm not," he said, looking much the part of the noble gentleman. "If someone else did this to me, you'll be safer below deck. Perhaps you don't realize it, and it's actually your memory that has been tampered with. If you are what I fear you are, I'll be saving my own skin."

Stepping back slowly toward the hold she said, "Check your cabin. Something has to remind you of who you are."

"I know damn well who I am."

It was so hard for her to go willingly, to step down into the cargo hold to be kept prisoner there, but it seemed the best course of action. He followed down, locking the other door she could use to escape before he awkwardly climbed the ladder while he tried to get used to the hook. She watched the hatch close and heard him lock it to keep her below. Casually flicking her wrist and lighting a lamp, she sighed. It seemed clear to Emma that Hook's particular atonement was probably related to how he'd shot Belle, and forced her over Storybrooke's town line, causing her to lose her memory. She wondered if this was part of her atonement as well because now she'd have to find a way to get Hook to trust her again. It certainly felt like she was being punished.

The practical aspects were an undeniable set of problems. She would have to show him he could trust her and convince him to continue their quest if she ever wanted to see her family again. The thing that bothered her most was the lack of acknowledgment or affection in his eyes. She'd become accustomed to his honest adoration. Hook, she knew without a doubt, truly loved her. He had for quite some time, and losing that was not only difficult, it was painful. She had only one course of action, she would have to win his love this time. He'd been patient and spent time winning her heart, but now it was her turn.