Hello everyone! Here's another chapter of Curiosity for your pleasure and entertainment. I'm sorry for the long, long pause between chapters (it's been nearly a year!) but for my defense, I was working on Lost in His Memories, as well as another story that will come out once I finish with LiHM.
Anyway, I hope you enjoy this new chapter of Curiosity, because I certainly enjoyed writing it!
Disclaimers:
I don't own Inuyasha.
I don't approve or encourage any sort of underage drinking or smoking. Don't do that. Seriously.
Also, I don't own Smirnoff, nor do I work for Diageo. This should not be seen as an advertisement for any sort of alcohol brand.
All in good fun, right?
Kagome sighed, not really looking at anything, unaware of the worried glances Sango and Miroku sent her. She had been sighing to herself all day, not that she noticed. She was way too busy with her own internal debate, and her thoughts were given only to the fact that Sesshoumaru had kissed her.
Enter exclamation mark here.
She wondered if he did it only because she told him it was custom, or maybe it was because…
No, she told herself. There was no way Sesshoumaru would actually be interested in little ol' her that way – she was just a curiosity, only there to supply him with information, teach him things he didn't know.
But then, why would he do that? After all, Sesshoumaru didn't seem like the type to do things merely because it was customary to do so. If anything, Sesshoumaru made his own customs.
A part of her hoped he'd make it a custom – kissing her, that is. The rest of her was pretty shocked with this new hope. After all, she thought she was in love with Inuyasha until not long ago, even though she knew he didn't really think of her that way. Sure, it hurt less and less seeing him run off to Kikyou, but was it really that simple?
Was she reading too much in this one kiss?
Kagome paused, just then realizing her friends had stopped for the night.
Yes, she was definitely reading too much in this one, innocent kiss if she managed to ignore everything around her like that. It was just a kiss to begin the New Year with something good. She smiled softly to herself. It was definitely a good start, no matter what would come out of it. Deciding to take it as just that, she walked over to help her friends make camp, already thinking about the next thing she would bring to the feudal era for the enjoyment of her friends.
It was less than a week before Inuyasha left them again to visit Kikyou. She had already made plans of the next thing she would bring, but she knew it was not something that would survive traveling in the Feudal Era. It was a delicate thing, so she needed them to be close to the well when she brought it, so she could go through the well, bring it, and then take it back once they were done with it. She knew that if she broke it, she would be devastated.
Unfortunately, Kikyou didn't seem like she had any inclination to help her reincarnation, so when the soul stealers arrived to call Inuyasha away from them, the group had been far enough away from the well that she would not be able to go home and bring it.
Still, it didn't mean she was going to waste that opportunity.
Her friends had been exhausted, planning to go to sleep straight after dinner. Kagome, however, had no such plans.
And so, grabbing her bag, bow and arrows, and promising the others she would not go far, Kagome walked around to find an empty clearing.
The snow had cleared during the day, but it was still cold, making Kagome grateful for her friend's Christmas present, the one that had been lying in her bag, just waiting for an opportunity to use it.
Finding a place to sit, she took out her swiftly dwindling pack of cigarettes, lighting one before taking out some other objects from her bag; her notebook was one, the one she always carried around in case she wanted to write something. A pen was another. Her present from her friends was the third. She could imagine the hardships they had gone to get it for her, and while it was supposed to be a joke – the note attached to it had said it all – right now, she felt grateful for their efforts. Taking a swig, she sighed happily at the warmth that had spread through her body, closing the bottle before opening her notebook. It has been a while since she had written anything inside, and she was glad at the opportunity to let out some emotions and thoughts, to write them down. Writing had always helped her make sense of the confusion in her life, and right now, she figured she had more than enough of it.
Especially considering the fact that Sesshoumaru had kissed her.
She sighed again, taking another swig from the bottle, before uncapping her pen and beginning to write.
He came as a jolt of thunder,
Sudden and unexpected.
And he tore my world asunder
With the way he so casually acted.
Kagome paused, looking at what she had written so far, taking a few pulls of her cigarette as she did so, before continuing. The poem had poured out of her, as if it was the most natural thing to do.
He came in a deafening lightning,
Unsettling my very being.
But I could feel my smile brightening,
Because his was the image I wanted to be seeing.
Kagome blinked, suddenly surprised at the words she had just written. Sure, writing was her way to sort through her emotions, but that was not what she was expecting when she began writing.
She wanted to think about it for a while longer, but something else had caught her attention. Youki. And not just any youki – his youki.
He was coming to her.
"Kagome," he said, not a minute later. "You should not be out here alone."
"I am not without protection, Sesshoumaru." She answered, gesturing towards her bow and arrows, which were lying conveniently within arms reach.
Sesshoumaru merely 'hn'ed at that. Figuring that was the most she would get, she shrugged. "Why don't you sit down?" she offered. "My neck will hurt if I have to keep looking up so we could talk."
He 'hn'ed again, but he did sit down in front of her.
"What are you doing here, alone?" he asked.
"Writing." She answered with a small smile. "Besides, I am not alone."
"What are you writing?" he asked, his eyebrow twitching. She had a feeling it was because he was surprised that she could write.
"Poems, mostly."
"What kind of poetry?" he asked, sounding very interested. "Waka?"
"No, actually." She responded with a smile. She loved talking to him. His curiosity just made it all the more fun, and the fact that their topic was completely unrelated to what was going on with her life – Naraku, and the Shikon no Tama – was just the icing on the cake. "I'm writing in the western style."
"Western style?" he asked, this time both his eyebrows going up. He is the lord of the Western Lands, she thought to herself. It's not surprising he would be surprised at hearing about something supposedly from his lands that he doesn't know about.
"It's a style that will not be introduced to Japan for a while." She explained. "It's heavily influenced by poets from Europe – far, far to the west from here."
He nodded, looking less confused.
"Will you show me?" It was half a question and half a statement, which didn't surprise her much. Sesshoumaru was not one to request things from people – he demanded.
"Erm, ok." She responded. It felt odd to show her works to someone else. She had never before considered letting other people read what she wrote. Most of it was personal, and besides, she never thought her poems were any good.
She flipped the pages of her notebook, trying to find one poem she didn't think sucked completely. She was definitely not going to show him the one she had just written. She was still pretty shocked at her own feelings towards him – she was not ready for him to know them.
Soon enough, she found one that fit her requirements. It was one that she had written long ago, when she had first seen Inuyasha run off to Kikyou, who was only after his death.
She skimmed over it, to make sure it wasn't awful. She did not feel the same emotion anymore, at least not to the same person she wrote it for originally. Of course, Inuyasha had never heard it, had never even known about the poem's existence.
Holding her grimace at the thought, she read the poem to Sesshoumaru.
Open your eyes
And you'll see that I'm forever
We'll be alone together
Until the last star dies
.
Open your eyes
And you'll see I'll always be here
Where you'll be, I'll be near
Until the ocean dries
.
Open your eyes
And you'll see all my love
Shining and rare like a white dove
Stronger than all the lies.
Kagome looked at Sesshoumaru, wondering what his reaction will be.
"It rhymes," he informed her. She smiled, knowing that traditional Japanese poets were strictly against any sort of rhyme, even accidental.
"I know." She responded. "European poets have a love for rhyming. I find it more challenging, trying to express my emotions and still make the song rhyme, while keep everything from not making any sense at all."
He looked as if he was considering her words, and eventually he nodded. She lifted her hand, looking at it, slightly surprised that it was empty, before realizing her cigarette had finished long before, when Sesshoumaru had just gotten there.
She took out another from her pack, offering it to Sesshoumaru, who shook his head, taking out his own instead. She nearly forgot she had given him a pack of cigarettes for Christmas. Lighting her cigarette just as Sesshoumaru lit his own, she exhaled the smoke, watching the smoke from both of their cigarettes intermingle.
"Well," she said after a moment of silence. "What did you think about the poem, besides the fact that it rhymes?"
"It's… different."
"Different bad, or different good?"
"Not bad." He replied. "Simply different."
They sat in silence for a while longer, but this time, it was Sesshoumaru who broke it.
"What made you write it?"
"Inuyasha. The first time he went to Kikyou." She explained, and was confused to hear his response. He growled. Why would he growl? Kagome wondered at that, absently taking another swig from the bottle her friends had given her.
"What is that?" Sesshoumaru asked.
Kagome blinked. It took her a while to realize he was asking about the bottle.
"This is Vodka." She replied, before continuing at the questioning look he was sending towards her.
"It's alcohol. Like Sake, only stronger. Much stronger. And it doesn't really have a taste. Or colour. So really, the only way in which it is like sake is the fact that both are alcoholic beverages."
"Hn," was his reply, and she took it as a sign to keep on rambling. "This is actually a bottle of Smirnoff, a brand of vodka that comes from Russia, which is far north. The Russians drink vodka constantly, and they say it helps keep the cold at bay." She concluded, taking another swig.
"Wanna try?" she offered once she swallowed, handing the bottle to him at his nod.
He took the bottle, taking a small sip.
"It tastes strange." He informed her, and she nodded with a smile.
"It tastes like alcohol."
"Hn."
He took another sip – a bigger one this time – before returning the bottle to her. She allowed herself another swig, placing the bottle between them when she was done, silently telling him he could drink to his heart's delight.
"Read me another poem," he requested, and she found she couldn't refuse. She leafed through her notebook, before settling on another poem.
"This is one I've written after I realized Kikyou will always come first in Inuyasha's eyes." She explained. "I was pretty depressed then, and this is what came out."
The rain is strong,
But it can't own
Up to the strength of loneliness.
.
The sea is wide,
But it can't ride
To the end of loneliness.
.
The gods are wise
But even they can't rise
To the fight with loneliness.
.
But they don't have to face it,
All of that is left for me
And even though I try to fake it
Lonely it all I'm allowed to be.
Once again, she looked at Sesshoumaru as soon as she finished reading, trying to gouge his reaction. This time, it took him a while to respond.
"I like it better than the one before." He concluded. "Though it is not something I expected you to write."
She nodded, wondering if the normally cold and aloof Taiyoukai was ever bothered by loneliness.
"I know it doesn't seem like me, but think about it; at that point in time, the one I thought I loved turned out to love someone else. And, if I'm completely honest, time-travelling and shard hunting doesn't leave me much time for a love-life. Inuyasha scares away everyone who comes near me when I'm here, and I don't spend enough time in the future to meet anyone there." She sighed wistfully, taking another drag of her cigarette. "Sometimes, I wish I was a normal girl, just like any other girl in highschool my age. A girl who's only problems are how high her grades are, and whether the boy she fancies likes her back."
She wondered why she was telling him all of that. It was all very personal, and she never liked talking about her personal issues so much. Maybe it was the vodka.
"Why would you wish to be less than you are?" Sesshoumaru asked, surprising her. "You are a powerful miko, who has most likely done more good to the world than any other girl your age – no matter whether in this era or in yours. Would you have all that power go to waste?"
Kagome blinked. It was definitely not what she expected him to say. From his words, it seemed almost as if he respected her, in some way.
"Sometimes, the burden I have to bear is very, very heavy." She replied quietly. "Sometimes, it is all I can do to wish that I didn't have to bear it. Don't tell me you've never felt this way before, that if your duty to the world – as ruler of your lands – would be gone, you would be… happier."
Sesshoumaru blinked, and she could see he was considering her words.
"You make a point," he said eventually. "However, wishing for something has never done any good. I prefer dealing with what I can change, instead of what I cannot."
Kagome nodded at that. "I agree. But sometimes, even if I know I cannot change them, I wish for things to be just a bit different. I can't help it." She pulled the last drag off her cigarette before killing it. "I think that sometimes, wishing for things help you make your goals in life clearer. For example, I wish Naraku would just die already, so I will do anything in my power to make it happen."
"But that is not something you cannot change." He replied. "Killing Naraku, unlike changing the past, is achievable. Wishing you were someone different than you are, however, is something else entirely."
"I guess it is my way of coping with this strange situation I'm in."
"Hn."
They sat in silence for a while, and Kagome took another sip of vodka before lighting another cigarette. She usually smoked only one cigarette a day – if that – but tonight, she felt as if she needed more. She could already feel the vodka's effects on her body, but it didn't bother her – she enjoyed it, missing the effects of alcohol on her body.
Sesshoumaru also took a swig from the vodka, and Kagome felt slightly surprised to see that the bottle was almost half empty.
"Will you read to me another of your poems?" he asked her again, and she wondered why he seemed so fascinated with her writing.
"Ok, I guess." She replied, once again searching in her notebook for something to show him. She paused, staring at one of the songs.
"Hm… this one I wrote not too long ago, after a conversation with my friends in the future." She still remembered that conversation. She had told the three that she had given up, that she wasn't going to chase after Inuyasha anymore, not when it was so apparent that he had made his choice. They had immediately tried to set her up with Hojou, and wouldn't understand why she refused. She didn't know how to explain it to them, but later that day, when she got home, she pulled out her notebook and wrote this poem.
Me, I'm no romantic
I don't believe in all that crap
I have learnt long before
Not to fall in love's trap
.
Me, I'm no romantic
I have known this for a while
It is my way of protection
For my heart cannot survive another denial.
.
Me, I'm no romantic
I say with all the strength I can muster
But still, I keep on waiting
For my happily ever after.
"You contradict yourself." Sesshoumaru said when she was done.
"I know," she said, taking another swig from the bottle. "That is the point."
"Hn." Was his reply, and for a minute, she thought that that would be all the feedback she would get from him.
"Is this what you have been writing when I joined you?" he asked.
"No, I was writing something else." She replied, suddenly apprehensive of the possible outcome of this conversation.
"Will you read it to me?" she just knew he would ask.
"It is unfinished." She told him, hoping he'll think that her reluctance to read that particular poem was only because of that.
He didn't reply, not even with his trademark 'hn'. She hoped that would be the end of it. They sat in silence for a while, both of them lighting another cigarette, exhaling smoke in silence.
"Can I write something in your notebook?" he asked after a while, and Kagome blinked.
"Um, sure." She replied, opening it on a blank page, handing both the notebook and the pen to him. He scribbled something, every once in a while pausing to take another drag from his cigarette, looking as if he was deep in concentration. She wondered what he was writing, but she couldn't see it from her place in front of him. A part of her wanted to go and sit next to him, but she knew it would be impolite in the very least, to look over his shoulder while he was writing.
She waited, curious to see what he would write, if he would read it to her, but he merely closed the notebook when he was done, looking at her, his expression revealing nothing.
Kagome leaned back on the tree that was behind her. It was getting late, and the alcohol was doing its job – she was getting sleepy.
"You are tired." Sesshoumaru said suddenly, breaking the silence. Kagome opened her mouth, ready to protest, but he didn't give her the chance. "Come. I will walk you to your camp." He stood up, offering his hand to help her do the same. She took it, marvelling at his touch. Despite the fact that he had kissed her, physical contact was not something that seemed to be natural to Sesshoumaru – in fact, she had a feeling anyone who had tried this before had med a gruesome, untimely death.
Standing up, she packed her things into her bag, grabbing her bow and quiver and hanging them on her shoulder.
The walk back to her camp was silent, but it was a companionable silence, and Kagome wondered at the fact that it felt so nice, simply walking around with Sesshoumaru, even without talking.
The silence was only broken when they reached the camp, where her friends were sleeping soundly. Inuyasha had yet to return.
"Good night, Kagome." Sesshoumaru bid her in a quiet voice.
"Good night, Sesshoumaru." She replied in the same hushed tone, smiling. "Sweet dreams." He smiled back, that tiny smile that would not be noticeable unless one was looking for it, before nodding his head to her and turning to leave. Kagome looked at his retreating form, shining white in the darkness, until the forest had engulfed him completely.
With that, she sat down, preparing to go to sleep for the night, when suddenly she remembered something important; Sesshoumaru didn't take the page on which he had written from her notebook. Her eyes widened, and she sat down on her already spread sleeping bag, looking through her bag for her notebook. She wondered if she should read it, or perhaps allow him the privacy of leaving it alone.
But then, he had written it in her notebook, she reasoned. He could have taken the page, but he left it there. Maybe he wanted her to read it?
That was all the justification she needed. Opening her notebook, she searched for the page that would be written in a different hand than her own. She found it soon enough. His handwriting was precise, almost perfect, each line exactly where it should be, not even one bit out of its supposed place. It was just like him, to be so accurate, it almost looked as if he had typed the thing on a computer, but his characters had too much… character, something no machine could ever accomplish.
She took her time admiring his writing before actually reading what he has written. And then she blinked, and read it again. And again. It was a poem, also in the western style – even going so far as to rhyme – but that was not what caused her repeated blinks. It was the words he had written, the meaning beyond the lines that made her do so. And that feeling, that feeling she couldn't ignore, that it was about her.
At first she was the rain,
Annoying with her every action.
And while I tried different venues,
Ignoring her seemed the only option.
.
Then she became fire,
Enchanting my curiosity.
And the more I gleaned her for knowledge,
The more I found myself thirsty.
.
Now, she is the air,
Her smile sustaining my existence
And I want her to stay with me,
So I could live forever in its brilliance.
All of the poems were written by me, most of them merely for the sake of the story. If you're wondering, than yes, that would explain why they're so bad.
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!
~Lyla