I don't own the TMNT

A/N: I know it's been a while, the nearby orchards have sprayed their chemicals and this caused my eyes to swell and burn for the past couple weeks. Now I'm so behind on my reading and writing! In any case, I wrote half of this sporadically in the few instances where my eyes let me actually see so it isn't quite as cohesive as I normally like it to be, but for some reason I can't seem to rework it the way that I would prefer. Hope you enjoy it anyway!

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The rest of the week passed by so slowly, yet in a blur.

She had to work, of course. She wasn't like me, she had to make money. Astonishingly enough, she worked as a secretary. Her work outfit seemed so prim, precise and exquisitely feminine that, although completely gorgeous on her, completely clashed with her personality. Or at least the personality that I was familiar with. Either way, I never imagined her in high heels, but it didn't look too bad. Not that I'd say so to her face. She hated every second. I had the impression that playing a cheerful, personable secretary was extremely wearing. And I could tell that she had the intense desire to filet her boss and a few others at her workplace.

We quickly developed a routine. I would always wake up first. After all, my family didn't exactly keep a regular schedule, in fact we were near nocturnal.

Don't think about them, Don.

Ah. In any case, I would make coffee, read the paper. The current paper, a real treat after living in the sewers for so long where we would have to settle for ones that were days old, normally. Something so mundane, so pedestrian, that for a moment it almost seemed like I was a normal person living a normal life. It is to laugh, right?

Depending on her mood, she would either storm in without saying a word, something that reminded me so much of Raph that at first I found it difficult. Not a morning person, this girl. Something told me not to push her with conversation when she was like that. On other days, she was dangerously playful. Or erotically so. The first morning, after slaying the group of young guys, she sat on the table and pulled me on top of her.

Good morning to me!

I was becoming more and more certain that she had some sort of mood disorder, then again studies show that over half the population had some sort of mental condition though most went untreated. The way she was, though, seemed a tad more obvious than what I would think was normal. Or at least while she was at home.

It seemed strange, staying home while the little woman was at work. Yeah, that sounds kind of sexist saying so, but maybe I was infected with society's norms or something. After all, what other kind of relationship could I possibly have? It's not like I could ever have a real job, no matter how much I wanted one.

I wondered how she was at work. If people could sense how dangerous she truly was or if she was good at wearing that mask to the point that people couldn't tell. Maybe they thought she was just a prim, proper petite young woman.

Wouldn't that be hilarious.

In any case, it gave me time to think. Though I tried to prevent it, my thoughts occasionally strayed to my family. What they were doing.

Looking for me, no doubt.

What would they do if they ever found me? That thought gave me pause. Technically, I was putting them in danger, not that I would ever reveal them if I was found by human society, though it might be assumed that more of 'us' existed. Would they just keep me locked up? Hm. Logically, the best solution would be to kill me. After all, I was always the subject matter expert when it came to healing and, ah, 'rehabilitation' and since I was the issue, that was out the window, wasn't it? And if they killed me, then I would no longer pose a threat to them.

Would they make it quick? Would it upset them? I never felt as close as the rest of my brothers seemed to be, maybe it wouldn't be as hard for them as it would if it were someone else in this situation. Maybe they would make me fix everything that was broken before they did the deed, that's what I was good for after all, right?

I need to stop thinking of this.

It wasn't healthy.

I combated this train of thought by working on the project that I was selected for. Finding the next target.

Going from the job of resident geek and maintenance man to serial killer detective. One purpose to another.

Stop going there, Donnie-boy.

So I cruised her laptop. Of course I missed my own, dearly so, but what could I do? I couldn't go back for it. I satisfied myself a little by spending the first day upping her security and bypassing the main access line to make it less easily traced. After a few hours she had quadruple the bandwidth that she had before. And even more security. Only then did I feel secure enough to actually begin looking in earnest. After all, it's not like I was shopping for Girl Scout cookies or anything.

I was eager to do this for more than one reason. To be honest, living with Sophia like this was a tad stressful. Still less so than going to the Lair and pretending to be the beloved Don that they all were familiar with, but still not like I had envisioned. In a way I seemed to serve two purposes, fuck buddy and serial killer. Strange, I thought it would affect me more, but it just seemed to make me look harder. Make her happy. In a big way, that also made me happy.

In a way I felt like kind of a freeloader. She went to work, she paid for food and everything else, what was I doing? I even found myself picking up around the house between computer time. The biggest thing I could do, of course, would be to find that target.

My stomach growled as I typed. I rubbed my stomach with a grimace. There was another downside to living with her. She was a takeout-every-night kind of person, and although I didn't cause the kind of kitchen mayhem that Leo tended to cause, I was not comfortable in the kitchen. The only appliance that I ever really used was the microwave and the coffeemaker. Even Raph was a better cook than me, not that he'd ever debase himself to do it when Mike was so awesome at it. Man, if only we didn't have to hide, Mike could be a master chef. It kind of reminded me of that tv show, Chopped. He was so used to working with odd ingredients (i.e. whatever we could find) that he could whip them up into something interesting and delicious in no time.

Why the hell are you thinking of this, Don?

I shook my head, massaging my temples. Maybe I was going insane. I needed release.

Yeah, that was it.

Not sexual release, of course. I never imagined that I would be getting so much. Say what you wanted about Sophia, her libido seemed on constant overdrive.

I smiled as I looked at the newly composed computer files. Was it sad that I just wanted more of a…relationship? Carnal activities were all well and good, but I needed something else with it.

Yeesh, I never imagined that I would sound so…cheesey? Romance-novel-y? From what I've seen of popular culture, men weren't supposed to really want everything else. Perhaps I was just an oddball, wanting a more intimate type of relationship.

That really pissed her off when I suggested it to her this morning. She was in the mood and I wasn't. When I proposed a conversation over breakfast burritos instead, she kind of blew up. Man, did she blow up. Of course, I sat there and took it, eating my microwave burrito in silence after she left.

What the hell was going on with me?

She probably just needed a target as much as I did.

Yeah, that was it.

Yes.

After all, I knew that she cared.

That was obvious, right?

How could it not?

She cares.

She does.

About me.

Yes.

Definetly.

Did my family still care?

At that thought I almost smacked my forehead onto the keyboard. I still hadn't ventured out of the apartment. After all, she worked by day and was here all night. There was no reason to leave while she was here, right?

Plus they might be out there.

I took a deep breath as I turned my attention back to the computer screen and organized my files. I had five targets, all obviously guilty but destined to never go to jail for one reason or another. Most needed more research before I felt comfortable going after them. One, though, was stupid and careless enough that we could go after him tonight if Sophia wanted. A drug addict who murdered people to steal their money to pay for more drugs. Not exactly a high profile person, but a target was a target, right? And he lived in a shitty part of town, so noise wouldn't be as much as an issue. Over there, people either didn't care or ignored it. His body probably wouldn't be discovered until he was late for rent.

As if she heard my thoughts, I could hear the now familiar sound of keys jangling in the hallway leading to her apartment door. I smiled, imagining the look on her face when she saw the target that I had lined up.

Instead she stormed through the door, obviously in a sour mood. Seeing me sitting there with the computer, her face darkened more. Slamming the door she glared at the floor for a long moment, her hair slightly tousled over her silk blouse. I found myself absorbing the tense silence. Really I should be announcing that I have done my job, I have found targets, but my mouth wouldn't work right.

Lifting her head, her face was twisted in a sneer as she undid the belt on her skirt. "So, you wanna talk, right? Have some real, quality conversation?" She slammed the belt down. It hit the floor with a slap that was oddly reminiscent of the spankings I received as a child.

I jumped slightly at the sound. Strangely, I felt a little hurt. Of course she was referencing what happened that morning. Was it really that big of a deal?

Before I could respond, she whirled to face me. I just stared as she twisted her face. "I've had a lot of quality fucking conversations today, did you know that?" She turned slightly, shoving her fingers through her pinned hair. "Fucking boss and his fucking innuendo. And I can't even castrate him like I want. Need to put on this fucking show all the damned time, can't get fucking arrested again, might stick to my record this time, so I have to sit there and just take his comments…" Abruptly she slammed her fist on the counter and glared at me, jabbing a finger in my direction. "Then I get home and see you just sitting there like a wart on my ass!"

She took a step closer, glaring. "Every time we go after something, it's the same damned thing! You always going on about these damn rules, these fucking morals, having to follow some stupid, lame ass plan like it really matters how things happen in the end. Why the fuck are we even doing this if you won't do what you're fucking supposed to do!"

My eyes meeting hers, I said the first thing that came out of my mouth. "Sophia, I'm sorry that-"

"SORRY!?" In an instant her hand shot out. I saw it coming yet for some reason I remained there, immobile as her palm connected with my cheek with a stinging slap. She screamed something incoherent and reached in the sink, grabbing a pan.

For a long second we held our positions, her holding the pan in a slightly threatening manner, and me with the warring thoughts within me. I held her eyes as my fists clenched, indecision fighting with confused thoughts.

I shouldn't be standing for this, right? I was better than this. How could I let something like this happen? Didn't it go against everything that I stood for? Everything that made me, me? I was a genius. I was a ninja. I was a fucking mutant. I was strong. Stronger than her. The image flashed in my mind of me surging to my feet, my fingers wrapping around her fragile throat…

Yet as I looked at her, something else nibbled at me. How could I possibly say that I was stronger? Or that I was in any way better? I had nothing. I didn't have my family, I didn't have my home. I was no longer privy to claiming my former self. He was gone. Dead. All I had was her. She helped me find my new self. My stronger self. And here I was, picturing something like that…She didn't deserve that. If anything, I did, right? After all that she's done for me, I have no right to get upset over this. She's obviously under a lot of pressure at her work. She needs the release that only I can provide. She depends on me, I can't let her down. Not like I have been. Of course she got upset at me, I was here to help her, provide her with this and I didn't deliver.

Slowly I broke our gaze and lowered my eyes, looking at the table.

Silence permeated the kitchen for a long moment before I heard her put down the pan and sigh. "Oh, Don, I'm so sorry." Her voice was soft, so incredibly juxtapose to how it was just a second ago. "See what you made me do? I just get so frustrated sometimes…" Slowly she came up to me and put her arms around my chest, resting her chin on my shoulder from behind, rubbing my plastron with slow strokes of her hand. "You know I could never really hurt you, right?"

No, you could. I can see that you have that power, but would she? No, she wouldn't. She cared for me in a way I didn't deserve. I swallowed and nodded. "Yes." I said in a hoarse voice.

Her eyes must have strayed to the computer screen for she smiled, her lips curling against the skin on my neck. "Oh, you found someone? Why didn't you tell me!" With a squeal of delight, her happiness clashing oddly with the tension that had filled the room only seconds before, she hugged me tighter, turning so that we faced each other at an angle. Cupping my cheeks with her hands she turned my face to face hers. Her eyes danced with excitement as she smiled at me. "Oh, what did I do to deserve you?" Before I could answer she pulled me into a kiss. After the slightest of hesitations I returned it.

What did she do indeed. Maybe, after we go after the target, probably tonight, then things would be better. They had to be. She was all that I had.

This entire scene, I couldn't have possibly played this out before hand. It seemed so sporadic, crazed. She almost seemed to switch from one person to the other so fast…Yet here I was. Was this how it was supposed to be?

I could make this work.

Surely I could…

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A/N: Thanks to sleepingseeker for helping me hash out exactly how to write out an abusive relationship like this. I'm not used to writing scenes like this for the most part. I mostly wanted to plant a few seeds of thought. Please leave a review and let me know what you think!

Also, the Adult Fanfic Awards are underway as well. Basically any story with a sex scene or more in it. It's time to vote on your favorites! Contact me or sleepingseeker if you have any questions!