Drawing Closer

by Jack Coffison

Old friends are reunited after many years. Set roughly sixteen years after the events of the series.

3. Chapter 3

Pacifica Northwest had seen a lot of Weird things throughout her life. And as she had discovered, Weird phenomena were not strictly confined to the town of Gravity Falls. For instance, there was the incident during her sixteenth birthday party. Her parents had been determined to use the occasion as an excuse to invite all of their rich and well-connected friends to the snowy mountain resort that they had just purchased.

Her parents had also commissioned several ice sculptures for the occasion. On the night of the party, there had been all manner of icy statues on display. Some of them were life-sized replicas of Pacifica herself, along with some dolphins and swans. But, noticeably, the majority of the sculptures were of her parents. At some point during the party, Pacifica noticed one of the statues suddenly jump off of their display podium and run off into the night. And before long, all of the other statues had done the same. All of the other attendees had assumed that the statues had simply melted, and Pacifica decided not to press the issue. Not if it meant potentially making a scene and ruining her parent's party. Because in the end, it was their party. No matter what it said on the cake.

Then there was the time she discovered that her high school boyfriend had been molting in her bathroom. It had been quite disturbing to find what appeared to be an empty skin suit stuffed into her bathroom trashcan. Once again, she did what she had learned to do, and tried to ignore it. She finally broke up with him when it happened for a third time, and for some reason, he decided to try and flush his molted skin down the toilet. That hadn't ended well.

And, of course, there was also the time that one of her college professors had suddenly burst into flame partway through a lecture. The professor had attempted to continue the lecture for a good ten minutes before she was finally extinguished. And somehow, she seemed none the worse for wear afterward. And once again, Pacifica did what by now she always did when faced with Weird phenomena. She simply moved on with her day as if nothing had happened. She had even stayed back after class to ask a few questions about her assignment, somehow managing to ignore the fact that the professor was still smoldering.

There had been some gossip about the incident among her classmates afterward. But when Professor Fenyx returned for her next lecture looking younger and healthier than before, most of the students seemed to conclude that the stories they had heard had been exaggerated. Even the students who had witnessed it firsthand were quick to second-guess themselves. And it wasn't long before classes simply continued as if nothing had happened.

Of course, none of the Weird things that Pacifica had encountered over the years could compare to what she had seen in Gravity Falls. The town seemed to be the center of Weirdness, from which all other Weirdness spread. Or a center, at least. And she needed no further proof of that than the scene she was currently watching play out in front of her.

Pacifica had arrived at the main hall in a hurry, with Dipper in tow. And they were now standing at the doorway, watching as a group of various creatures engaged in battle with an army of scrap-made robots that had merged into one giant, rattling mass. The creatures were attempting to do the same thing by standing on each other's shoulders, but they were much less organized. Both conglomerations stood tall enough to reach the ceiling, occasionally bumping into a chandelier and sending shards of glass raining to the floor.

Pacifica didn't recognize many of the creatures. Unlike Dipper, she hadn't wasted a good portion of her time obsessively cataloging them. But she was pretty sure that the little man standing on top of the mass of creatures, barking orders and laughing maniacally in turns, was a gnome. Although she wasn't completely sure, as the little man was wearing a mirrored helmet that looked like a disco ball instead of the red sock thing that she had learned to associate with gnomes. The disco ball gnome also sported a classic villain's mustache, long and curled at both ends.

A large excited crowd had formed a circle around the two giant forces, whooping and cheering as one sent another crushing blow into the other. Their combined punches were slow but very powerful, often sending several creatures or robots flying in the opposite direction. After which they would promptly get up and scurry back into place.

Sitting behind a table at the top of the grand staircase was a man dressed in a green shirt with a question mark on it. Pacifica thought she recognized him, despite the beard he was now sporting, but she couldn't remember his name. She thought it might have been Zeus. Next to the man sat a rather deranged-looking gnome. Microphones were sitting on the table in front of them, and as the fight continued they were providing a running commentary. Their voices rang out through the speakers in the ceiling, only barely managing to cut through all the noise.

"Aaand the creature-dudes have landed another crushing blow to the center of the bot-dudes! But don't start giving out any championship belts just yet! Some of those creature-dudes are starting to get tired, which won't be a problem for those scrappy bot-dudes!"

"Schmebulock!"

"Well said, old buddy! Well said. Oh, look! We've got a Manataur swinging from the last remaining chandelier in an attempt to land an elbow drop on the bots... And he overshot it! Ooh, he landed right in the chocolate fountain! That's gotta hurt. Well, you know what they say! Chocolate heals all wounds, dude!"

Pacifica couldn't help but stand in awe at what she was watching. It was quite a sight. She would never see anything of this scale outside of Gravity Falls, she was sure of it. Once her moment of awe had passed, however, she was quick to go back to business. She had hurried there in search of Old Man McGucket, after all. She had half expected to find him injured, or worse. But as she looked over the crowd, there seemed to be no sign of him.

The crowd appeared to consist of a good mix of tourists and townspeople. Some of whom were proudly sporting black eyes and missing teeth. Apparently, some had participated in a massive brawl before it turned into more of a spectacle. One man, a burly red-haired lumberjack, was being held back from running back into the fight despite his loud protestations.

"Lemme go! I'll fight 'em all!"

"Dad, the doctor said you've gotta stop getting into fights with unknown beings of unimaginable horror!" exclaimed a younger red-headed man, as he struggled to hold the older man back.

"Well, I'll fight the robots then!"

Looking away from what appeared to be a family dispute, Pacifica noticed that a few creatures were standing amongst the crowd as well. Seemingly watching the battle with matching excitement. There was a flying eyeball that was wearing one half of a pair of giant sunglasses, a tall and slender figure that appeared to be a mass of writhing tentacles stuffed into an old tuxedo, a pair of unicorns sipping wine and laughing snobbily amongst themselves, and a multi-headed bear. The bear was engaged in conversation with Lazy Susan and Sir Basil, and Pacifica was quietly relieved to see that the older woman was none the worse for wear.

"Pacifica!"

Pacifica jumped at the sound of Dipper's voice, and she was about to spin around and scold him when she suddenly found herself being pulled aside, narrowly avoiding contact with a robot that had just been sent flying through the air. It landed with a massive crash exactly where Pacifica had been standing, and with enough force that it skidded out into the hall.

The robot was quick to pick itself up and gently dust itself off. "I'm okay-" it began, only to suddenly explode. Pacifica stared at its firey remains for a moment, and then turned back to Dipper. His hands were still on her shoulders. As soon as he noticed, he was quick to remove them.

Dipper awkwardly cleared his throat. "Uh... Any sign of McGucket?" he asked.

Pacifica shook her head, quietly deciding to ignore what just happened. If she was going to live in Gravity Falls, then she would likely have to get used to almost dying every now and again. Or at least narrowly escaping injury. There was no use worrying about it. She also decided to ignore the residual warmth she felt on her shoulders. No use worrying about that either.

What was important was the task at hand.

"I think I know who we can ask..." said Dipper, pointing to a figure in a long trench coat that had been making its way through the crowd, collecting money and handing out tickets. As the figure moved, it seemed to wobble unnaturally. They were wearing a hat that they had pulled down slightly to help obscure their face, but that didn't seem to stop Dipper from recognizing the figure in an instant.

As Dipper lead Pacifica through the crowd, she found herself watching him with a measure of disbelief. She had been doing the same thing during her visit to the lab. And during the elevator ride back to the surface. She had to hope that she had been subtle enough to go unnoticed. For most of her life, Dipper Pines had existed as a static memory. There was something unsettling about the idea of the sweaty and awkward boy she had known long ago being suddenly replaced by the lanky, tired-looking man in front of her.

She wasn't sure why she seemed to be having trouble processing it. Perhaps she was just having trouble grappling with just how much time had passed since her last visit to Gravity Falls. Maybe some small, childish part of her had expected to return and find the place frozen in time, just like she remembered it. That was foolish, of course. And if that really was the reason for her sudden unease, then she would have to chide herself for being so naive.

Turning her attention back to her surroundings, she couldn't help but wonder how it was that the party had taken such a turn for the chaotic so quickly. She couldn't have been gone for more than fifteen minutes, she was sure of it. And was it just a coincidence that things had gotten so crazy as soon as she was suddenly and unexpectantly reunited with Dipper Pines? She had to wonder. Dipper had always been a magnet for trouble. In fact, he seemed to make a habit of actively seeking it out. And she had a feeling that was one thing that definitely hadn't changed over the years.

As Pacifica and Dipper maneuvered their way through the crowd, the fight commentary continued.

"Oh, it looks like the bot-dudes are trying a new formation! Oh, wow! It looks kinda like a ferris wheel. Or maybe it's supposed to be a buzz saw... Huh, they're really cutting through the creature-dudes. Or- Wait! It's a faint! The creature dudes are coming apart on purpose! Now they're swarming the giant robot-dude made of smaller robot-dudes... Climbing all over it like an army of ants on a freshly dropped ice cream! Does that work? Is that a good analogy?"

"Schmebulock!"

"Thanks, Schmeb. You're a great hype-man. We should do this more often, dude."

It took a moment for Pacifica and Dipper to find the figure in the trench coat amongst the crowd because the figure kept moving around. Eventually, they followed the figure to the other side of the room, where they found them arguing loudly with a large man wearing a red shirt with the words 'Free Pizza' on it.

"I'm telling ya, pizza is not a currency. You can't pay me with pizza. Now, either pay for a ticket with money and place a bet, or get the heck outta here!" exclaimed the figure in the trench coat, in a voice that sounded much like a young boy's attempt to approximate a gruff, older voice.

"B-but, I've got so much free pizza! I told you, I won a lifetime supply! I don't know what to do with it all!" exclaimed the Free Pizza guy.

"I don't care about the ironic consequences of having your dreams fulfilled! I'm tryin' to run a business here!" said the figure in the trench coat. The Free Pizza guy breathed a heavy sigh as he set down the stack of pizza boxes he had been holding and began to dig around in his pockets to retrieve his wallet.

Money was just about to change hands when Dipper reached out and grabbed the figure in the trenchcoat by the shoulder. The figure turned its head sharply, revealing a young boy's face.

"Aw, crud! It's the fuzz! Cheese it!" the boy exclaimed. The bottom half of the figure suddenly launched forward, only to be pulled backward by Dipper's grip on the coat, sending what turned out to be two young boys toppling to the ground. It looked as if one had been sitting on the other's shoulders.

Pacifica guessed that the boys were around twelve years old. They also appeared to be twins. They shared the same height, the same facial features, and the same brown hair. The only real difference between the two, other than how they were dressed, was that one boy had a prominent gap between his two front teeth. And the other boy was wearing glasses. As the boys got to their feet, Pacifica noticed that the boy with the glasses also appeared to have six fingers on each hand.

"Dang it, Sixer! You got us caught!" exclaimed the tooth-gap boy.

"Stan, you told me to run so I ran. You know I can't see anything in there." said the boy with glasses.

"Well, it wouldn't be much of a disguise if people could see another set of peepers pokin' out, Ford!"

Dipper sighed. "Grunkle Stan, Grunkle Ford-" he began, only to be interrupted by the tooth-gap boy.

"Before you start, Narc-Boy, you should know we had a perfectly good little racket goin' on! And if you don't let us honor those bets, then you're gonna have a full-scale riot on your hands!"

"Grunkle Stan, I'm not here about that." said Dipper, sounding slightly impatient.

"You're not?"

Not wanting to allow Dipper to take charge of the situation and leave her to follow along like a glorified sidekick, Pacifica decided to step in. She had already decided to leave the question of how the two older men had been turned into children for another time, so she got straight to business. "We're looking for McGucket. Have you seen him?" she asked, raising her voice over the surrounding noise and doing her best to sound authoritative.

The twin boys had markedly different reactions to her presence. The young Stan crossed his arms and seemed to regard her with suspicion while the young Ford adjusted his glasses and looked at her with a measure of curiosity.

"Who wants to know?" demanded Stan.

"Yes, Dipper, who is your young friend?" asked Ford.

"This is Pacifica Northwest." said Dipper. "She used to spend her summers here in town a long time ago."

"Right, I remember. She was that young go-getter that kicked me outta Greasy's and kept trying to get me to pay my pancake tab..." said Stan. "Didn't she and her fancy-pants parents live here in this old mansion at some point?"

Pacifica stiffened slightly. "That's right." she said.

"Yes, I recall you being on very good terms with Dipper and Mabel during their early adolescence." said Ford. "It's good to make your acquaintance once more, Miss Northwest." he continued, as he courteously held out his hand in an offer to shake.

As Pacifica shook his hand, she did her best not to outwardly flinch at the presence of his extra digit. "Likewise." she said.

Once they were done, Ford gave Stan an obvious nudge with his elbow. Stan gave a brief, reluctant sigh before offering his own hand. "Yeah, yeah, I got it." he said. "No hard feelings or anything kid. If I held a grudge against every person who ever tried to kick me out or make me pay for something, then I'd have stopped hanging around Sixer here a long time ago."

As Pacifica took Stan's hand, she offered him a malicious smile. "Yes, well, just be glad that I didn't own that establishment at the time. Because if I had..." as she spoke, Pacifica tightened her grip considerably. "...You would never have escaped without paying that pancake tab."

Stan smiled. "Heh. Yeah. I can respect that." he said.

Pacifica mercifully let go of his hand. But only because Stan now had the appearance of a young boy. If he were still an old man, then she might have given it an extra, painful squeeze. She may have grown up considerably over the years, but she was not above a little petty revenge.

"Now then, you mentioned that you were searching for Fiddleford?" asked Ford. "I imagine you've already checked with Bessie Two?"

Dipper nodded. "Yeah. We called him and he said he was here in the main hall. Then we heard a big crash... It sounded like he might've gotten hurt or something." he said.

"Ah, yes, there have been a lot of big crashes tonight... But no announcements of any serious injuries thus far." said Ford. "Unfortunately I may be unable to provide much assistance, as I was busy acting as the leg-man for Stan's little operation. Stan?"

Stan wrinkled his nose in thought. "...I think I remember seein' him running around with a banjo and a wild look in his eyes." he said. "But he didn't stick around for long. If he had, I would've tried to get him to pay triple for a ticket. Big spenders special, y'know?"

Pacifica gave a frustrated sigh. "So, what? He just disappeared? Is that another thing you've gotta worry about if you live in Gravity Falls?" she asked.

"I mean, there's no harm in being prepared for it." said Dipper, with a slight shrug. "Anyway, McGucket did mention that someone or something was chasing him... If he's not around anymore then maybe he got, y'know, old-man-napped."

"Hm. That sounds plausible. Is there any reason in particular that Fiddleford might be targeted?" asked Ford.

"Ya mean other than the fact that he's stinkin' rich?" asked Stan.

"Yes, Stan. Other than that." said Ford.

Dipper rubbed the scar on his chin thoughtfully. "...He also mentioned that he was carrying around his supertronic quantum generator. That could be a factor."

"And a dangerous one at that." said Ford, with a sigh. "I know that I'm hardly one to be going around giving lectures about lab safety, but I'd hoped he would've learned his lesson after the clown incident."

Dipper and Ford shuddered in unison.

"What exactly is a 'supertronic quantum generator'? It sounds like something from a lazily written science-fiction thing." said Pacifica.

"It's a small device capable of generating supertronic quantum energy." said Dipper.

Pacifica rolled her eyes at him. "Uh-huh. Thanks, that was very helpful." she said.

"It's function involves tapping into the echoes of primordial cosmic energy that still exist on a quantum level. In doing so, it can create free energy. Although, it does come with the unfortunate risk of warping or breaking the very fabric of reality." said Ford.

Pacifica put her hands on her hips and frowned. "...Then it sounds like something that you nerds shouldn't be messing with." she said.

"You tell 'em, sister." grumbled Stan.

"Yes, yes, McGucket and I are well-versed in the problematic nature of playing mad scientist, I assure you." said Ford, to which Stan was quick to give a derisive snort. Ignoring him, Ford continued. "Fiddleford's device is purely a proof of concept. Its capacity for ending all of existence should be greatly reduced."

"Oh, well that's reassuring." said Pacifica, sarcastically. "I suppose it'll just kill everyone in town instead of the whole world. Why would he even bother to build something like that in the first place?"

"Well... Apparently, McGucket's ex-wife's new husband challenged him to a science-off." said Dipper, sounding slightly sheepish. "But, hey, Ford and I talked him down from building a large-scale one, at least." he added.

"Yeah, great job." growled Pacifica. "So, now what?"

"I'd suggest we search the manor before anything else. If we can't find him, then perhaps I'll build a makeshift DNA tracker in Fiddlefords lab. That should be quicker than going all the way back to the Mystery Shack to find my own." said Ford.

Stan frowned. "What? I don't wanna spend the rest of the night running around this old place! Especially when there're all these rubes around that still need fleecin'. I've barely even made it halfway through my weekly swindling quota!" he exclaimed.

Ford sighed. "Stan, I agreed to Operation Trenchcoat because I owed you a favor. But unfortunately, the call of potential calamity must supersede your swindling quota." said Ford. "I don't even know why you set these quotas for yourself in the first place."

"It's so I don't get rusty!" said Stan. "Alright, look, we can put a pause on Operation Trenchcoat for now. But if I come across any secret hidden treasures or anything, I'm swiping 'em."

"Fair enough." said Ford, before turning to Dipper. "Now then, it might be prudent for us to split up. Stan and I can investigate one half of the manor while you and Miss Northwest take the other."

Dipper blinked. "Uh, I don't know if Pacifica-" he began, only to have Pacifica cut him off.

"That sounds fine. The sooner we find the old man the better." said Pacifica.

Ford nodded. "Right. We can meet back here in an hour if he is still not found." he said.

"Before you two go, you should know that Mars and the triplets managed to escape the kid's party." said Dipper. "Which means most of the halls are, well... Let's just say they must be carrying around a giant sack of prank stuff."

"I knew we shoulda burned that joke store to the ground the minute it opened its doors..." grumbled Stan.

"Understood. Luckily, Stan and I became rather proficient at maneuvering past booby traps during our time abroad." said Ford.

Stan huffed. "Yeah, only because I took the brunt of it all. I spent about a week picking darts outta my-" Stan was interrupted by the sound of a massive impact and a high-pitched shriek as a hairy creature with a long forked tail was sent flying through the air and landed with a loud crash on the table behind them. The creature quickly picked itself back up and scurried away.

Stan was, again, interrupted by the sound of another massive impact, followed by a high-pitched shriek as what appeared to be a massive ball of hair, teeth, and claws was sent flying through the air before finally crashing into the table behind him. The creature got up and shook itself like a wet dog, before regarding the group with several pairs of gleaming red eyes.

"Evening, Pines family." it said, as it politely tipped its hat.

"Evening, Larry." said Dipper, Ford, and Stan in unison.

Once the creature had scurried off, Stan cleared his throat. "Now, where was I? Oh, yeah. I was gonna talk about all the darts I pulled outta my ass cheek. It was the left one mostly..." he began, pausing when he noticed the blank looks on everyone else's faces. "What? Don't blame me, blame the security system at Buckingham Palace." he added, crossing his arms defiantly.

"Anyway..." said Dipper. "...We should go."

As Pacifica and Dipper parted ways with Ford and Stan, Pacifica overheard Ford quietly chastising his twin brother for robbing their departure of any gravitas. Pacifica was inclined to agree. They were on a rescue mission, after all. One with potentially life and death consequences.

Reflecting upon this, Pacifica couldn't but shoot Dipper a look. And despite the fact that they were once again making their way through a rowdy crowd as an epic battle played out in the middle of the room, Dipper managed to catch it.

"What?" he asked.

"Nothing... I was just quietly blaming you for how utterly crazy all of this is." said Pacifica, matter-of-factly.

Dipper smiled. "Yeah... I get that a lot."

---

María Awesome Ramirez, or 'Mars' as she preferred to be called, had spent the last few hours crawling through a complex system of ventilation shafts. Whenever she found the opportunity she would quickly pop out with the triplets in tow, set up another prank, and then hurry back into the ventilation shafts. All while taking turns dragging along a slowly deflating sack with the words 'Bag O Gags' printed on it.

Mars was utterly determined to sew as much chaos around the old manor as possible. She had many reasons for this. For one thing, it seemed to come naturally to her. She was good at it. For another, it was entertaining. Much more entertaining than the dull music and awkward dancing on offer at the kid's party. Even the new giant bouncing castle had failed to tempt her away from her mischievous plans.

But her main reason, above all others, was that she wanted to prove once and for all that she was cool. And she was certain that if she managed to pull off as many pranks as possible, maybe even the kind that might get caught on video and go viral online, she would finally achieve that status. If that happened, then was no way that her fellow students could ignore her anymore. Each and every one of them would come rushing over to be her friend. And then, maybe she wouldn't have to eat lunch alone anymore during recess. Or worse, with her teacher.

Mars grimaced at the thought of it. That was part of the problem, she was sure of it. Maybe even the biggest part. Knowing a teacher outside of school was the lamest thing ever. Maybe it would be different if Mister Pines was one of the cool teachers. If he was a cool, aloof man in a leather jacket who always let his students go to recess early and never handed out homework, then maybe it would be okay. Instead, he was pretty much the opposite. A stickler for the rules, always dressed shabbily, and perhaps worst of all, always deeply passionate about the subjects he was teaching. It made him an easy target for mockery amongst the students at the cafeteria. Especially among the older, cooler ones.

Knowing Mister Pines outside of school made her lame by proxy. And it would only get worse if they ever found out just how well she knew him. Mars had grown up with him as a near-permanent fixture of her young life. He was by far her most consistent babysitter. And he had been the one who introduced her to stargazing in her younger years. Another secret, lame hobby that she would no doubt have to abandon for the sake of coolness.

And he had also been the one who found her the day she ran away.

It had happened over a year ago. When her first and only best friend in the world suddenly moved away. After a few weeks had passed without any online communication with her, Mars became determined to see her again. In person. Even if it meant taking a secret bus ride all by herself. She had been traveling for a full day before she found herself standing at a bus stop in a city that she didn't recognize. She had never felt as alone or scared as she had that day. She still occasionally had nightmares about wandering the crowded streets all alone, searching desperately for anything that felt even remotely familiar.

When Mister Pines found her sitting alone on the sidewalk, Mars promptly burst into tears. The relief she felt at that moment had been immeasurable. She had been so relieved, so utterly emotionally exhausted, that she called him 'Uncle Dipper' again. She hadn't done that in a long time. Ever since she had discovered the rules of coolness at school, she had started calling him Mister Pines. Even if it got kind of confusing, what with there being two other Mister Pines in her life. The grumpy one and the mad scientist one.

When Mister Pines brought her home, she found her parents worried sick. It was enough to make her cry all over again. Mister Pines talked to her parents for a while, explaining the situation with surprising accuracy. Mars had never talked to him about her plan to see her friend in person, and yet he seemed to know all about it. He had also managed to track her down with relative ease. Some time afterward she had quietly wondered if he was some kind of amateur detective or something.

Even now, the incident remained indelible in her mind. In the weeks following, she had promised herself that she would make new friends. And lots of them. Friends who wouldn't suddenly move away and never talk to her again, the way her first friend had. And to do that, she had to become 'cool'.

Even if it meant putting some space between her and Mister Pines. She had to show the other students, especially the cool ones, that his apparent lameness hadn't somehow infected her. She was awesome. It was right there in her middle name. And she was going to prove it once and for all, right in the middle of the biggest party of the year.

"C'mon, guys. Just a little further. We just need to find a good vantage point." said Mars, turning to face the triplets.

As usual, the triplets had been following her dutifully and quietly. Mars had met Hildegard, Greta, and Andreas Grendinator-Fundshauser sometime around the beginning of summer. Their mother had apparently grown up in Gravity Falls and had wanted to visit for the summer. For some reason or other the Grendinator-Fundshauser family came to the Mystery Shack one afternoon, and that was when Mars met the triplets. All three of them had been so curious about the things on display around the Mystery Shack that Mars offered to show them around. Together, the four of them explored the entire shack for hours. Until, finally, the triplets' mother called them back to their car with enough force to shake the entire building.

After that, they found each other once more at the arcade. And soon, a true friendship was born. Before long, they were doing everything together. Visiting the local pool, playing video games, and even having a slumber party. It was simply incredible. And of course, they had also pulled a good amount of pranks.

It seemed that even the smallest act of mischief was enough to give the young triplets a giddy rush. Even something as simple as writing 'wash me' on a dirty car was enough to make them giggle maniacally. They also had a rather infectious curiosity about her hometown. It made her want to explore the whole town with them. Even though Mister Pines and her mother were always quick to tell them how dangerous that could be.

Because Mars was older than the triplets, she was eleven and they were nine, she was the natural leader of the group. And she had certainly been acting like it. She was never shy about ordering them around, not that any of the triplets seemed to mind. If anything, they seemed eager to please.

The triplets were also usually very quiet. Preferring to communicate with small gestures rather than words. Mars had been told that English was only their second language. They lived in a small village in another country where their father was considered some kind of royalty. And they had grown up mostly speaking German. They could understand English perfectly well, however. After all, their mother was American and seemed to speak to them exclusively in English. But the triplets were a bit shy about speaking it themselves, especially in front of others. Which was fine with Mars, as she could easily do enough talking for all of them.

"Aw, man... It looks like we might've missed whoever stepped into the glue puddle. I can see some of the carpet is all torn up... Oh, well. There's probably no use keeping an eye on it. We set that up ages ago, so most of the glue's probably all dried up." said Mars, as she peeked out from a vent cover. "I guess we can start looking for a good place to start sprinkling all that sneezing powder... And we still need to find a place to set up the rest of the glitter bombs." she continued, as she unfolded her hand-drawn map. "...I don't know how we still haven't managed to come across the adult party... This place is just too big."

Mars breathed a heavy sigh. If this kept up, they might have to abandon their super cool vent-sneaking tactic and start roaming the hallways. This not only left them more vulnerable to being caught, but they had just finished booby-trapping those very same hallways. And there would be nothing more humiliating than falling victim to one of their own traps.

Grumbling to herself, Mars had just begun to fold up her hand-drawn map when she felt a light tap on her shoulder. Turning slightly, she found one of the triplets, Hildegard, looking at her with concern in her eyes. Hildegard was the oldest of the triplets by about ten minutes, and she always seemed to take that responsibility very seriously.

"What is it?" asked Mars.

Hildegard motioned toward the youngest triplet, Andreas. He was fidgeting considerably, crossing his legs and muttering quietly to himself.

"...Do you need to go to the little boy's room?" asked Mars.

Andreas lowered his gaze and gave a small nod, his cheeks reddening. The middle triplet, Greta, crossed her arms and huffed impatiently.

"Alright, let's all head out the same way we came in. That big bedroom, remember? I think I remember it having a bathroom attached to it." said Mars. "...You should've spoken up earlier, Andreas. There's no use waiting 'till you're about to explode."

Andreas gave another small nod, his eyes now hidden behind his messy blonde hair. He seemed to shrink under all the sudden attention he was getting. And it was enough to make Mars feel a surge of sympathy for the younger boy. She tried to think of something comforting to say. Something that might make the boy feel less embarrassed. But such things didn't exactly come naturally to her. And worse still, doing so might make her lose some of the cool girl mystique she had been trying to build over the summer.

So instead, she decided to press onward without another word.

It took only a few minutes for the group to finally reach their destination. Their eyes had adjusted quite well to the darkness of the ventilation shafts, and they had gotten used to crawling around. So much so that they were able to move at a fairly rapid pace. Which was good, because Andreas had started making a series of involuntary squeaking sounds as he moved. Apparently, his situation was rather desperate.

Mars popped out the vent cover and jumped out first, falling on the old couch that they had shifted to reach the vents in the first place. Next was Hildegard, then Greta, and lastly Andreas. Once they were all out, Mars points to the bathroom door and Andreas moved faster than she had ever seen him move before. He only barely managed to slam the door behind him in his haste.

While they waited, Mars found herself feeling slightly awkward. She had never really hung out with less than all three triplets at once. For some reason, it felt a little different. "Uh... So." said Mars, not really knowing what to say. "...What's it like, having a brother?"

Hildegard gave a small smile and a shrug, while Greta gave another frustrated huff.

"Yeah... I never had any siblings, so I don't really know what it's like." said Mars. "I hear it can be both good and bad. Auntie Mabel says that having a brother can be like having a cat. Sometimes they're all moody and distant... And they're really nice when they want something. I kinda think she was joking, though."

Hildegard and Greta simply smiled and nodded along as Mars spoke. This was the hard part about having friends who didn't speak. It was difficult to carry on a conversation.

Determined to find something else to talk about, Mars began to look around the room. They had discovered the old bedroom shortly after escaping from the kid's party and it had become their base of operations for the night. Spread across the massive bed were the remains of all the food that they had snuck out with. The room was lit by an ornate, golden light fixture that hung from the middle of the ceiling. The wallpaper was a light purple, decorated with a variety of golden patterns. It looked like it had faded considerably over time, and it was peeling at the edges. Everything was also covered in a layer of dust.

The doorknob to the old bedroom had been jammed when Mars and the triplets found it. And forcing the door open had taken considerable effort. Mars imagined that was the reason the room had managed to stay completely untouched, and thus uncleaned, for so long.

"Who do you think lived here?" asked Mars. "Whoever they were, it looks like they were really into purple."

Hildegard and Greta were quick to join her in looking around the room, their eyes sparkling with a familiar curiosity. It was true, the bedding was colored purple, the dresser was purple and so were the curtains. Although they were also all decorated with a healthy amount of golden detailing. As if whoever had lived there couldn't help but ensure that everything still had at least a touch of 'fanciness'.

Mars looked around the room with only the barest curiosity. As far as she knew, the room was probably a long-forgotten spare bedroom. It was amazing to think of how much larger the room was compared to her own bedroom. And even in its current state, it was probably still much more impressive. As her eyes scanned the contents of the room for a second time, she noticed a slight gleam from underneath the oversized dressing table.

Picking it up, Mars found that it was an old framed photograph. The glass had long since shattered. It depicted the same regal-looking family with cold eyes that Mars had seen in portraits all around the old mansion. She had no idea who they were. She had never bothered to ask anyone. But all of a sudden, she was struck by the strangeness of it. The family didn't look like they were related to Old Man McGucket, so who were they?

There was a sound of a flush, followed by the sound of a running faucet. Finally, Andreas burst out of the bathroom, shaking his still-dripping hands wildly. His sisters were quick to frown at him, but Mars didn't mind. "Andreas, we were just taking a look around. And I think I found something. Come over here, you three." she said.

With the triplets gathered around her, she presented the old framed photo like a newly discovered relic. Then, Mars noticed something. The picture in the frame had shifted slightly to the side, and there appeared to be something else underneath it. Frowning slightly, Mars held the picture over the dresser table and then brought it down with some force. The dresser shuddered as pieces of glass were sent flying across its dusty surface. The triplets first flinched and then looked on in amazement as Mars removed the old photograph from its frame.

Sure enough, Mars found a second photo behind the first. They had been stuck together, and it took a moment for her to carefully peel them apart. But once she had, she found that the second photo showed three kids, all wearing birthday hats. Mars recognized two of the kids as her Auntie Mabel and Mister Pines. Auntie Mabel had subjected her to many scrapbook readings over the years, so Mars was pretty familiar with what the Pines twins looked like when they were young. It took her a moment longer to recognize the kid standing between them. It was the same girl from the first photo.

The difference in the girl's appearance between the two photos was rather stark. And not just because she was dressed much more casually in the second photo. In the first, the girl's blonde hair was perfectly neat as she stood stiffly between two adults that Mars assumed were her parents. Her expression was cold, even disdainful. As if she were only barely holding back from openly sneering into the camera.

In the second photo, the girl's hair was significantly more frazzled and covered in a mess of confetti. She was also smiling. Grinning, really. With one arm wrapped around each of the young Pines twins. In the background, Mars noticed a balloon with the number thirteen printed on it. She suddenly had a guess as to when the photo had been taken. But she couldn't help but wonder why it had been hidden. Especially since, in her opinion, the second photo was much better.

Mars and the triplets discussed this for a moment, all of them suddenly feeling a burning curiosity at what felt like a genuine mystery. Mars decided to tuck the photographs away in her dress pocket, right next to her hand-drawn map. She was just about to start discussing what to do next in their grand pranking plan when all of a sudden, there was a massive thud outside the bedroom door. All four of them were sent into a panic and, thinking quickly, Mars dived under the enormous bed. Dragging the triplets along with her.

They had only barely managed to hide when the door suddenly swung open. Mars flinched, expecting to see Mister Pines enter the room. It was difficult to see from her low vantage point, but she soon found that whoever had just stepped inside, it definitely wasn't Mister Pines. Instead, she saw the bottom half of what appeared to be a small, cloaked figure and a pair of enormous chicken feet. As they both made their way into the room, Mars could hear the sounds of muffled shouting.

Wanting the get a better look, Mars crawled her way to the very edge of her cover and peered upward. The cloaked figure appeared to be no taller than she was. Its hood was pulled over its head in such a way as to keep its face cloaked in shadow, even as it stood in the light. Next to the cloaked figure stood the owner of the giant chicken feet. And its appearance was enough to make Mars stifle a gasp.

Most of its features were that of a rooster. Its enormous torso was covered in light brown feathers, with a green crest at its center. Its legs and feet were thin and birdlike, with the same rough skin and sharp claws that Mars associated with chickens ever since a certain incident at a petting zoo. She shuddered lightly at the memory. The creature also had a set of large, red fleshy flaps sticking up from the top of its head like a mohawk, and also dangling from underneath its long, sharp beak.

However, unlike the average rooster, its wings were green and scaled. In fact, they had the appearance of a dragon's wings, even when they were tucked to its side. There was a line of green scales running down the creatures back to its rear end, from which a pair of long green tails stretched out and wiggled around like a pair of snakes.

As if that weren't enough, the creature was also wearing a studded leather jacket, a torn pair of jean shorts, and a chunky pair of diamond-studded sunglasses. Upon closer inspection, Mars noticed that the creature's rooster-like flesh flaps were also sporting several piercings.

"Set him down and pull off the tape." said a deep, raspy voice. And since the large rooster-dragon thing hadn't moved its beak, Mars guessed that it was the cloaked figure speaking.

The rooster dragon unfolded its enormous wing and something fell to the floor from inside of it. Mars blinked rapidly when she realized what it was. Old Man McGucket was now on the floor, wrapped in chains and doing his best to yell angrily through a piece of tape that had been placed over his mouth. The rooster dragon leaned over and grasped the edge of the tape with its beak and then pulled back rather harshly.

"Yowch! Watch m'beard!" exclaimed McGucket.

"It's good to finally make your acquaintance, Fiddleford McGucket." said the cloaked figure, as it stepped closer to the bound old man.

"Dang it, I told you already! You'll never get me precious pot o' gold! It's sacred! It's important! I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist!" exclaimed McGucket.

"Do not make me place the tap back on and then rip it off again, old man." growled the cloaked figure. "You will quiet down if you know what's good for you."

McGucket glanced down at his long, white whiskers and shuddered. "You monster!" he exclaimed.

The cloaked figure shook its head and then turned to the rooster dragon. "Excellent work, Rockatrice." it said. "You may just make a good lackey yet."

The rooster-dragon bobbed its head back and forth and stretched out its wings to mime playing an electric guitar. It made a series of guitar sounds to accompany its motion before it suddenly turned its attention back to the cloaked figure. "Aww, yeah! When ya want a job done, ya gotta go, oooh, ya gotta go with a Rock-a-trice!" it sang in a rough, gravelly voice. The Rockatrice seemed to take a moment to appreciate its brief song before it moved on. "Ain't a problem as long as you pay what you promised, m'brother." it continued.

"Yes, yes, we shall discuss your payment in moment-" the cloaked figure began, only to be suddenly interrupted by the Rockatrice.

"Also, I do have a name, man. It's Headbanger Rockroost! Remember it, 'cuz I'm gonna make it big someday!" said the Rockatrice, before distracting itself with another air-guitar session.

The cloaked figure breathed a heavy sigh before it turned to face McGucket once more. "Now then, you crazed fool- I've no need for any gold, whether it's in a pot or not." it said.

"Then what're ya doin', kidnappin' an old man durin' a party? Ain't you cloaked fellers got nothin' better to do with yer time?" asked McGucket.

"Oh, but you are no regular old man- correct? You are the great Fiddleford McGucket! Renowned robotics genius and twice voted 'Most Influential Mad Scientist' by Frankenstein Magazine!" said the cloaked figure.

McGucket blinked. "Er, so what- Ya'll're fans? If yer wantin' some kinda autograph, I'm afraid I can't do it. I believe autograph writin' causes rickets, chickenpox and ego inflation. I ain't wantin' none o' that." said McGucket.

The cloaked figure gave a deep, angry growl. "Why would I want an autograph from one of the betrayers?" it spat. "No- What I want is very simple. You see... The prophecy is at hand... The great angled one shall soon return... But for that to happen, I require a certain device of yours."

"What, ya want me automatic whittler? The electric banjo? Pan-handlin'-bot 3000? Never!" exclaimed McGucket.

"What I want, is your so-called 'supertronic quantum generator'." said the cloaked figure.

McGucket gasped. "What? How d'y'all know about that?" he exclaimed. "Do I have a spy in my lab? Who is it? Are they invisible? Are they the ones what keep tidying up me scrap nest?"

"Why is it that you insist on blathering so much?" growled the cloaked figure. "No, you mentioned it in a social media post. You wrote, and I quote, 'Currently flim-flamming up a little gizmotron what can provide infinite energy and possibly warp all of reality as we know it. It's called a Supertronic Quantum Generator.' And then I believe you added a number of hashtags about your feelings regarding raccoons."

"Ah, right. I got me grandson postin' the digital posts on my behalf. I'm geussin' I went and forgot to tell 'im that one was a secret." said McGucket.

"Indeed. And now, you will be handing the device to me." said the cloaked figure. The figure outstretched a pale, mangled hand toward McGucket.

Before McGucket could protest, the Rockatrice suddenly stepped in. "Cloakie! Before you get rockin' and rollin' with your evil plan or whatever, you've gotta pay me!" it exclaimed.

"Your payment can wait, Rockatrice." the cloaked figure growled dangerously.

"Also, c'mon man, I call you by your name- Call me by mine! I, like, just told it to you." said the Rockatrice.

"If you recall, I told you to call me master! At least until the true master has made his glorious return, just as the prophecy foretold!" the cloaked figure exclaimed.

"Yeah, about that. I told you, man, you can't self-prophesize. I think that's a rule." said the Rockatrice.

"Silence! I have prophesized that I shall use this device to revive the great three-cornered one, and I shall see to it that it comes to pass!" exclaimed the cloaked figure.

"But, like, that's really more a self-actualization thing than a prophecy, y'know?" said the Rockatrice. "Anyway, listen, I don't wanna argue about the finer points of prophecy. Or if reviving that triangle guy you like so much is a good idea. What I want is the payment you promised. Twenty bucks and an electric guitar I can play with my wings."

The cloaked figure growled again. "...Yes, I remember what I said. You will receive all due payment once the great one has wrought his triangular vengeance upon his betrayers." it said.

"What? The deal was that I scoop up the old man for ya! I did that! C'mon man, I need the guitar now so I can start playin' for the big party that's goin' on! It'll be a perfect debut spot!" exclaimed the Rockatrice.

As the cloaked figure and the Rockatrice began to squabble, McGucket began to inch away from them. He was wrapped in chains from head to toe, so he was forced to twist and squirm around to achieve any kind of movement. And yet, he seemed to do so with relative ease.

Mars gasped and retreated further under the bed when she realized that McGucket was headed straight for her. As she did so, she found herself bumping into the triplets, who had joined her to get a better view of what was happening. All four of them managed to back up just as McGucket stuck his head under the bed.

Suddenly, they were staring at each other. A quiet, awkward moment passed between them while the cloaked figure and the Rockatrice continued to squabble in the background.

"...Er, your the lil' Ramirez girl, right? The one that goes around callin' Dipper 'Uncle'?" asked McGucket.

Despite the situation, Mars found herself frowning stubbornly. "I don't do that anymore." she said.

"But y'all're close, right?" asked McGucket.

Mars gave a small, hesitant nod.

"Well then..." said McGucket as he gave his long white beard a mighty shake. There was a soft thud as a small, metallic device suddenly landed on the carpet. "Ya'll think you could sneak off with this? Maybe get it to Dipper? I'd appreciate it." he continued.

Mars carefully picked up the device. It was about the size and shape of a baseball and colored a metallic silver with a thin black line running down its middle. There were also several tiny antennas poking out of it, seemingly at random. As she held it, Mars felt an odd tingling sensation in her hand. Suddenly, all of the antennas retracted, causing Mars to stifle a yelp of surprise.

"Yeah, it'll do that." said McGucket. "Now, if ya'll can just wait it out 'till they leave, then it should be easy enough to mosey on out. Now, I don't normally go around askin' favors o' fellers as young as yerselves, but-"

"We'll do it." said Mars, cutting off McGucket before turning to the triplets. "Right guys?"

All three of the triplets look slightly frightened by the prospect, but that didn't stop them from giving a determined nod in perfect unison. Mars smiled. Like the triplets, she too was scared. But she was also excited by the prospect of going on a real summer adventure, like the ones her father always talked about. She still wasn't sure if any of those stories were real, of course, but this one would be.

"Well, that's mighty good to hear. Now, when you give the device to Dipper make sure to tell him that-" McGucket began, only to be interrupted once more as he was suddenly pulled out from under the bed. Mars and the triplets froze in place as they watched McGucket being dragged across the carpet and then lifted out of their line of sight.

"You see? Your foolish bluster has distracted us from what should be our main priority! The extraction of information from this old fool!" exclaimed the cloaked figure.

"Yeah, yeah, I got 'im. You worry too much, Cloakie. Look, I'm holding him with the little grippy thing I've got on the end of my wing. Y'know? The little claws? I never know what to call it, but it's what I use to grab stuff." said the Rockatrice. "Y'know, other than the big ol' beak."

"Yes, yes, lovely. Hold him still, will you? I must administer a spell." said the cloaked figure. "Now then... I call upon the darkest of magicks... Bring unto me a great power... Affect this inferior mind, and bring to its surface the answer to a single question... Where can I find the Supertronic Quantum Generator?"

Mars felt her heart skip a beat. Tucking the device into her pocket, she shared a look with the triplets. Their best chance of escape was the ventilation shaft, but to access it they would have to make their way across the room unnoticed. She was rather confident in her sneaking skills, but not that confident. Even if they reached it, they would still have to spend time helping each other get into the shaft. She bit her bottom lip as she struggled to think of a plan. "If they get any closer... We run. The door is close... Maybe we can run past them." she said. Her tone was nowhere near as certain as she wanted it to be.

The triplets trembled slightly as they huddled together. And Mars felt a wave of guilt come over her. The triplets wouldn't have even been there, in a room with monsters, if she hadn't dragged them along. She had to make sure they got away safely. If one of them got hurt, it would be her fault. And she would never forgive herself. Mars shuddered slightly at the thought and did her best to shake it off. Now wasn't the time for that.

"You may set him down. The spell will take a little time to work." said the cloaked figure.

McGucket fell to the carpet with a thud, completely silent. Mars crept forward in an attempt to get a better look at his face. He had a strange dark smudge on his forehead and his eyelids were fluttering violently. The smudge seemed to splinter apart and then recede into his skin. Once it did, his eyelids slowly drooped shut.

"Well then, man, if we gotta wait then I guess we can keep hashin' this thing out." said the Rockatrice. "I ain't a rube, man. I gotta get what I'm owed, y'know?"

"Oh? You're saying you want what you deserve?"

"I said 'owed', man."

"Because I'll gladly give you what you deserve."

"Again, I said 'owed'. And it's, like, not that crazy an ask, y'know?"

"You're just like all the others, aren't you? One of those damned betrayers... The ones that cast away the great one-eyed one because his vision was too grand for their puny little minds..."

"Oh, come on, don't start with this again man. You know I'm not interested in all that stuff. I just wanna rock, y'know? It's kinda my whole deal."

"Of course. Why should you be interested? I am only on a quest to return glorious divinity to this wretched place. That's all. Why, I suppose it's no surprise that I can find no other followers among the pathetic, ignorant fools of the forest. And I suppose it's further unsurprising that the one follower I have is such a stubborn, deluded being that it cannot even begin to grasp the importance of our work."

"I get that it's important to you, man. I'm just doing a job is all."

"Yes, I suppose that's it... You were never as dedicated as I to this most sacred of causes. And you will never grasp its importance. Perhaps... Perhaps it's time I do what I should have done a long time ago." said the cloaked figure.

Mars watched with bated breath as the cloaked figure stepped toward the Rockatrice, darkly muttering something in a language she didn't understand.

The cloaked figure stepped toward the Rockatrice, muttering an incantation.

"What're you doin' now, man?" asked the Rockatrice. Suddenly, the bird-dragon began to move. Its enormous chicken feet began to drag across the carpet, bringing it closer to the cloaked figure. As if it were being pulled by an invisible force. The Rockatrice dug its powerful claws into the carpet, but it wasn't enough. The carpet tore away, leaving the claws to drag unpleasantly against the wooden floor beneath it.

"I believe it's time... I made you into a true follower... Someone worthy of being graced by his triangular presence..." said the cloaked figure. Mars watched with a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, as the darkness inside the cloaked figure's hood seemed to swirl about, dragging the Rockatrice ever closer.

"H-hey! Quit it man! What're you-" began the Rockatrice, before its features began to stretch forward, into the swirling void. The Rockatrice gave a terrified screech as all of a sudden, its feet left the floor and it was pulled head-first into the cloaked figure's dark, swirling face. For a moment, only its back half was left sticking out. The Rockatrice kicked its legs and whipped its tails around in violent desperation before it finally disappeared into the cloaked figure's hood.

The cloaked figure stood there for a moment in that aftermath, trembling slightly. Then, it spat out a thick gob of black goo. It landed on the carpet with a disgusting splatter.

"Hm... I may have taken on... A little more than I... Should have..." muttered the cloaked figure.

Suddenly, Old Man McGucket's eyes flickered open again. He was lying face up on the floor, a short distance from the cloaked figure. His features were notably slackened and his beard seemed to droop. "The Supertronic Quantum Generator..." he muttered. "I-... I gave it... Just now..."

Mars froze. Looking over to the triplets, she was quick to whisper an order. "We have to run." she said.

"To those lil' tykes... Hiding under the bed..." continued McGucket.

Before the cloaked figure could react to that, Mars and the triplets burst out from under the bed. Thinking quickly, Mars grabbed McGucket by the chains that bound him and did her best to pick him up off the floor. For a brief moment, she was surprised to find that the old man was lighter than she thought he'd be. But she soon realized that the triplets had all joined her effort.

"You... Children..." growled the cloaked figure.

One of the triplets let out a frightened shriek as the group held McGucket over their heads and raced out the door. As they began to run down the hallway, Mars peeked behind her in time to see the cloaked figure stagger out of the bedroom and let out an angry howl.

"Fools! You will never escape!" it bellowed. With that, a massive burst of thick black smoke suddenly burst out from the inside of its hood. The smoke quickly billowed out in front of the figure and began to take a familiar shape. It had the unmistakable appearance of the Rockatrice but it had been reduced to a skeleton. Thick plumes of smoke filled its ribcage and billowed out from its empty eye-sockets.

The skeletal Rockatrice let out a terrifying, high-pitched squawk as it released a powerful stream of flames from its open beak. The flames flew through the air at an incredible speed and barely missed them. Mars looked away from it and screamed. The undead creature began to move with frightening speed, its claws scraping loudly against the floor.

As they ran, Mars realized that she recognized the particular hallway they had started running down. "Careful!" she yelled out to the triplets. "There are a bunch of pranks-" before she could finish speaking, she felt herself run through a trip-wire. Luckily, she was running with enough force that it didn't make her stumble. But it did make her glance behind her again. There was a small rattle from a light fixture that hung in the hallway. At first, Mars thought that the prank had failed. Then, just as the undead Rockatrice passed underneath it, there was a sudden explosion of feathers from above. The Rockatrice let out another blast of flames, instantly turning the rain of feathers into a rain of ash and cinders.

Mars shuddered. Her mind felt empty, save for an incredible surge of fear and adrenalin. She had to force herself to think. "You guys! We're heading to the glue!" she suddenly exclaimed. Hoping that the triplets understood, the group barely managed to turn a corner and avoid another hot blast of fire.

It wasn't long before they found the carpeted hallway where they had set their glue trap. Mars remembered them leaving the tub of glue behind. It had been too heavy for them to keep carrying it around all night. As they quickly drew closer, she was relieved when she found that it was still there. "Guys! Go on ahead! I'll catch up!" she yelled. Once again, she couldn't check to make sure that the triplets had understood. She just had to trust them. Letting go of McGucket, Mars raced over to the tub and picked it up. The triplets, meanwhile, raced on ahead. The glue they had put on the carpet hours ago had dried enough that the triplets had no problems passing over it.

Standing there, in the middle of the hall, Mars now found herself facing the undead Rockatrice as it bore down at her at a frantic pace. It took everything she had not to scream or freeze up at that moment. Instead, she emptied the contents of the tub on the floor. Shaking the container as best she could and watching as its gluey contents splattered across the carpet. Then, she turned and ran.

Mars rejoined the triplets just in time to hear a massive thud behind them, followed by a loud ripping sound. Mars looked behind her to see the Roackatrice stumbling in the glue, ripping up the carpet as it struggled to move forward. Quietly hoping that the glue might be enough to hold it in place, at least for a moment, Mars tried her best to focus her mind on what to do next.

"We'll find another room... And hide!" she finally decided, aloud. As she spoke, for the benefit of the triplets, she found herself slightly out of breath. Her adrenalin was fading. But she soon received another jolt of it when they heard a familiar, terrifying squawk echo throughout the halls behind them.

After running for a while, the group found an old, unassuming door and swung it open. They hurried inside and Mars slammed the door shut behind them. It was dark inside, but Mars was fairly certain they had managed to stumble upon a utility closet. The kids all struggled to catch their breath as they set McGucket down, who looked as though he was fast asleep and enjoying a pleasant dream. Their collective heartbeats were hammering so loudly that Mars was sure that the undead creature would hear them. Suddenly, she felt her legs give out from under her. Tears began to sting her eyes as she huddled against the back wall, ushering the triplets behind her.

They could hear the sound of the creatures boney feet scraping against the floor somewhere in the distance. Creeping ever closer. And Mars shuddered as she found herself wishing desperately for the one person she somehow knew could help. The person who had helped her before, the last time she found herself crying and scared.

---

"So they managed to track the egg to this remote area in the jungle. But time wasn't on their side, in more ways than one. By the time they got to it, it had started hatching. Grunkle Ford tried to place it into stasis, but it was too late. The Chrono Eagle was born. And it was hungry."

There was a familiar excitement in his voice as Dipper recounted the tale. One that Pacifica recognized in an instant. And all of a sudden, she could see a whole lot more of the boy she had once known in the man walking beside her. Yes, his voice was deeper. Husky, even. And he had grown taller, which still irked her for some reason. But this was definitely the Dipper Pines that she remembered.

They had been stalking the long winding corridors of the old manor for a short while now. Dipper was now wearing the odd pair of goggles that she had seen him holding in McGuckets lab, and he seemed to be using them to scan their surroundings as they walked. The lenses of the goggles gave a dull red glow that blocked his eyes from view. But the way he was moving his head around gave the impression that he was looking in every direction but hers while he spoke.

"Now, as I said, the Chrono Eagle is a creature that actually eats time. Usually, they go around feasting on defunct timelines, but they've also been known to eat pieces of the past, present, and future. And for the new hatchling, Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford were first on the menu. The Chrono Eagle actually ate their age. Or, technically, I guess it'd be more accurate to say it absorbed it. Either way, by the time it was done, they had been reduced to their childhood selves. But only physically. Somehow, they managed to retain both their mental faculties and their memories. Grunkle Ford and I still haven't settled on a definitive answer as to how, but we have plenty of theories."

When Pacifica asked Dipper about the current state of his twin Grunkles, she had expected a long-winded answer. And Dipper had certainly met those expectations so far. Not that she really minded all that much. While she had long since adopted a habit of disregarding any and all Weird phenomena that popped up in her life, it wasn't as if she was completely incurious. She simply knew that investigating Weird phenomena only ever led to trouble. And she had spent almost her whole life avoiding trouble at all costs. Ever since her last summer in Gravity Falls.

Pacifica frowned slightly at the thought, feeling another surge of bitter feelings rise up to her chest. She had comported herself perfectly for so long. She had worked hard to please not only her parents but all the people she needed to in order to forge an extensive network of well-connected allies. And where had it led her?

Shaking her head, Pacifica did her best to push those bitter and angry thoughts to the back of her mind. The last thing she wanted to do was spend any more time wallowing in self-pity. She had already humiliated herself by revealing a little too much of her inner feelings in McGucket's underground lab. Thankfully, the person she had inadvertently vented to had not been some stranger. It had been Dipper. Although in some ways, perhaps that was worse. More embarrassing, at the very least.

Suddenly realizing that Dipper had stopped talking, Pacifica decided to prompt him with another question. "So, what happened to this Chrono Eagle? Is it still a problem?" she asked.

"I honestly don't know. Ford thinks it escaped back into the time dimension. We've just gotta hope it doesn't find a mate and start reproducing. That could be trouble. It was lucky that Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford were already kinda old when they came across it. Otherwise, they could've been effectively unborn. And I honestly don't know how you could come back from that." said Dipper.

"I see..." muttered Pacifica. "And what else has changed? Did Mabel perhaps grow an arm out of her chest? Or wings? Maybe a third eye?"

"Actually, she did grow a third eye on her forehead a long time ago... It shot lasers. Turned out to be a parasitic growth she got from practicing make-out sessions with this cardboard cut-out she took from the mall." said Dipper. "This was back in high school. It wasn't a big deal, though. It ended up just pulling itself out and rolling away. I think it was because Mabel was getting really into reality shows at the time. Mostly the dating ones. Honestly, I kinda felt like doing the same thing."

"You know, you could easily just be making all of this stuff up and I would probably never be able to call you on it." noted Pacifica, dryly. "Also, wait a minute, if it just popped out of her skull... How did she not die from that?"

"Huh? Oh, no, like I said it was mostly just a growth on her forehead. It's not like it grew out from her brain and then pushed itself out the front of her skull. I'm pretty sure the only things that do that are memory shrooms and brain flowers." said Dipper.

Pacifica shuddered slightly. "...How do you deal with all this stuff?" she asked.

"What can I say? I think it's interesting." said Dipper, with a shrug.

"Really? Even after all this time?" asked Pacifica. "Don't you, like, get sick of it after a while?"

Dipper sighed. "Sometimes..." he muttered.

Pacifica waited for a beat, half expecting him to launch into a long laundry list of complaints. Instead, Dipper went quiet. Pacifica watched him for a moment. There was something in his demeanor that seemed to have... Shifted. All of a sudden, he seemed distant. Perhaps lost in thought. Unsure of how to proceed, she decided to try and change the subject.

"So, what do you do for fun around here? I'm guessing you're one of those video game nerds?" asked Pacifica.

Dipper paused for a moment, clearly surprised by the sudden swerve in the conversation. "Huh? Oh, no, not really." he said.

Pacifica raised an eyebrow. "Really? But you're already such a nerd." she said. "Nerds and video games always go together. They're like cheese and wine."

"Uh-huh. And you're an elite heiress, right? So what do you do for fun? Count your money? Have caviar eating contests? Hunt people for sport?" asked Dipper.

Pacifica couldn't help but smile. This was the kind of interaction she had secretly been craving. A good back and forth with someone unafraid to hold their ground.

"Are you still dragging your sister along to your little comic book conventions? Maybe dressing up in an unflattering little latex number?"

"Do you spend your evenings chortling in front of a roaring fireplace? Swirling your brandy and complaining about the poor not knowing their place?"

"Do you live in a dark little corner in your Mom's basement? Spending all your time on a computer that you had to take out a loan to afford? And let me guess, you write a whole lot of very 'passionate' online reviews."

"Have you ever found yourself lying awake at night, tortured by the gaping hole in your heart that'll never be filled no matter how much money you make?"

"Points off for resorting to clichés, Pines." said Pacifica, with an eyeroll.

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, we wouldn't wanna play into stereotypes here, now would we?" he said, derisively.

Pacifica huffed. "No wonder you clearly don't have a date for this party." she said. "Although I guess you're probably used to that by now, huh?"

"At least I have an excuse." said Dipper. "What about you? Shouldn't you be dragging around some male model type? Keeping them on a short leash? Or are they all just too intimidated by your charming personality?"

Pacifica stiffened slightly. "...Something like that." she muttered.

In truth, Pacifica had very little luck in the realm of romance. She had her share of flings, of course. Most of which were somewhat enjoyable. But any attempts to maintain a more long-term relationship usually went up in flames. And usually for the same reasons. For one thing, she was often too busy to pay any kind of special attention to one particular person in her life. For another, so many of her prospective partners had been insufferably boring.

So many of them were so invested in the kind of affluent lifestyle that she had lived for her entire life. And they never seemed all that interested in branching out into things she found more new and exciting. They all dressed in the same finely pressed designer suits. And they always insisted on taking her to the same high-class restaurants, art exhibitions, and yacht parties. It was as if they were all working from the same well-worn playbook. And it certainly didn't help that so many of them always expected her to look and act a certain way.

Pacifica didn't have to spend much time in the dating world before she discovered that the world was filled with men like her father. And they all seemed to expect her to act like her mother. Like a trophy. Always quiet and obedient. The very thought of being trapped in a relationship similar to the one her parents shared made her sick to her stomach.

She had avoided it so far. But she always felt the same creeping dread that it was somehow her destiny to find herself in a cold, loveless marriage. Raising a child and passing on a wealth of trauma in order to perpetuate an endless, destructive cycle.

Pacifica shuddered at the thought.

"Uh... Pacifica? Do you still play mini-golf? Or big-golf, or whatever?" asked Dipper, his voice bringing her out of her thoughts.

Pacifica pursed her lips. Her first instinct was to snap at him. When she leveled an icy glare at him, however, she was surprised to find that Dipper had slid the goggles onto his forehead. He was looking at her. Offering her a kind, if awkward, smile. And once again, there was something in his eyes that caught her off guard. Something that brought to mind a treasured memory from her past.

With a short sigh, she decided to answer his question with a measure of honesty.

"I do. Mostly just for fun... Although I did win a few more trophies over the years." she muttered.

Dipper nodded. "That's good. Mabel still plays on occasion, too. I'm still terrible, but if you ever wanna have a rematch with her I'd be willing to be your caddie. I'll just charge you the equivalent of whatever your current net worth is. Sound fair?" he asked.

"I'd be happy to beat your sister at golf any time of the week." said Pacifica, haughtily. "As for having you as a caddie? Oh, please. I think I'd be better off spending money on a professional. Besides, what would you even do with that kind of money? Buy some limited edition 'Intergalactic Conflict' toy? Or maybe a signed poster from Ducktective?"

Dipper slid the goggles back over his eyes and then quietly rubbed the scar on his chin as he considered the question. "I don't really know. I think I'd probably just use it to pay for next month's rent or something. Hopefully, that'd keep my landlord from barging in at the end of the month. Again." he said.

Pacifica raised an eyebrow. "...Don't you live at the Mystery Shack with your Grunkles?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, no. I live in an old apartment complex close to the center of town. The Mystery Shack is already kinda full with Soos, Melody, their daughter Mars, Soos' mother, and the Grunkles all living there. Luckily for them, Ford at least has his own bedroom underground so he doesn't take up much space. They did have to install a couple of new bathrooms, though. No one has the internal fortitude required to share a bathroom with Stan. At least not for long." said Dipper.

"Huh... That surprises me... I would've pictured you living in that underground lab with other-Stan. Or 'Ford', I guess..." said Pacifica.

"Oh, I did try that. But I kinda needed my own space, away from work." said Dipper. "It's kinda cramped, though. Not the best place to try and unwind or whatever..."

Before Pacifica could respond, Dipper suddenly stopped in his tracks. Focusing his attention on a door at the end of the hall, he began to fiddle with the goggles. Twisting the lenses slightly as if in an attempt to adjust what he was seeing. Finally, he slid the goggles up to his forehead and walked over to the door. Pacifica quietly followed him.

Once they were standing in front of the door, Dipper opened it slowly. Pacifica couldn't see much from behind Dipper, but she thought she could make out two figures writhing in the darkness. It took her a moment for her to realize that they were writhing against each other. Dipper quickly closed the door. Then, he took off his necktie and left it hanging on the doorknob. Looking embarrassed, he shot Pacifica a quick glance.

"...I was wondering where Grenda and Marius were." he muttered. "It looks like these goggles can't produce high-definition thermal images through doors. I guess I should be thankful."

Shaking his head slightly, he lowered the goggles over his eyes once more. "Let's, uh... Leave them to it." he said.

Pacifica grimaced. "I can't believe people are doing that in the servant's closet..." she muttered. Her grimace soon twisted into a slight smile, however. "...If my parents found out, they'd be mortified."

Dipper raised an eyebrow. "Really? Do they still care about what happens in this place? They haven't owned it for a long time now." he said.

Pacifica scoffed. "Of course they do. My father always referred to it as his ancestral home. I'd bet there's nothing he'd love more than to have it in his clutches again." she said. "Fortunately, he's too scared of this town to do anything about it. ...The coward."

Dipper didn't seem to know what to say to that, and Pacifica was quietly grateful that he decided to simply let it hang in the air for a moment. As Dipper slid the goggles back over his eyes and continued looking around in all directions, a silence fell over them. It wasn't until a few more minutes had passed that Pacifica decided to break it.

"So, why don't you like video games?" she asked.

"Huh? Oh, I don't not like video games or anything. I just don't ever have the time to play. It's been that way for years now, actually." said Dipper. "I'm always just too busy."

Pacifica nodded. It had been a long time since she herself could honestly say that she had done anything purely for the fun of it. Most of her recreational activities involved exercising. Which could be fun when it involved some degree of competition, like playing tennis, kickboxing, or golf. But since moving to Gravity Falls, she had lost all of her gym friends. Not to mention all the equipment. And without the tantalizing prospect of winning, exercising became another chore. One that she never neglected, of course.

Which left her with only her most secret passion to entertain herself.

"Weren't you really into video games?" asked Dipper.

"So, what're you so busy with? Counting Manataur hairs? Measuring Gnome beards?" asked Pacifica. Unfortunately, her attempt to change the subject was made with some desperation and was thus a little too obvious.

"That's right... I remember you getting completely addicted to that cursed game console... What was it called again? The Tritendo Lich? I guess you never quite kicked the habit, huh?" asked Dipper, with a slight chuckle.

Pacifica sighed and rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You've got no proof." she muttered.

"I guess we've got a real 'nerd calling the geek a dork' situation here." said Dipper, with a smile.

Pacifica scoffed. "That turn of phrase doesn't work. You're not clever." she said.

Dipper's smile only seemed to grow. "Oh, but you knew what I meant, right? So it works well enough." he said. "I guess I'll have to remember this the next time you call me a nerd."

Once again, Pacifica rolled her eyes. "You dork." she muttered.

"You nerd." said Dipper.

Pacifica felt the corners of her mouth twitch upward slightly, even as she breathed an exaggerated sigh. "Whatever. Are you going to tell me what keeps you so busy or what? Surely you get to make your own hours." she said.

"For the Weird research, I kinda do. But I do still tend to get carried away with it every now and again. Plus, I also have a second job." said Dipper. "I'm a teacher at the local school. Which can be pretty demanding."

"Really? Why?" asked Pacifica, slightly taken aback.

"Why what?" asked Dipper.

"Well, first, why would you take another job? And second, why would you volunteer to work with a bunch of little gremlins?" asked Pacifica.

Dipper shrugged. "The answer to your first question is simple. Money. As for the second... I kinda like teaching kids." he said. "It feels good to see real progress being made by my students and know that I had a part in it. It's different from the feeling I get from Weird research. A lot of that work tends to come down to data collection and processing. Which can be kinda dry. Not that I don't still enjoy it or anything, it's just..."

Pacifica found herself watching him as he trailed off. The goggles were covering his eyes, so she could get no hint of what he was thinking aside from the slight tightening of his lips. "...It's just what?" she asked, finally deciding to indulge her curiosity.

Dipper sighed. "Sometimes I wonder if all our work in Weird research is helping anyone. I mean, most of it... Most of it has to stay locked away. I get that. The transdimensional relics, the unimaginable horrors... That stuff is truly dangerous. And I can't imagine what'd happen if someone tried to weaponize it. Or, y'know, if it happened again but at a larger scale." he said. "But... There's something kind of unsatisfying about just keeping all that stuff locked away. I want to use some of that Weird stuff to help people. I mean, at the end of the day, why else are we spending so much time and energy investigating it? Just to satisfy our own curiosity? ...That's good and all, don't get me wrong. And it's fun, too. But, I just... I don't know if that's enough."

There was a brief pause as Pacifica considered what Dipper had said. She wasn't quite sure how to respond. Her instinct was to make a sarcastic comment of some kind. Something to distract from the sincerity she sensed in his words. She wasn't used to that kind of thing. Sincerity. She would have been more than happy to steer the conversation back to another round of trading insults. But as the seconds ticked by in silence, she began to second-guess herself.

Pacifica frowned. There was some part of her that wanted to say something... Encouraging. Which did not come easily to her. So she ultimately dismissed the idea and decided to go with something closer to her first instinct.

"...Well, I still can't believe you'd willingly deal with a bunch of misbehaved children all day." said Pacifica, with an exaggerated shudder.

"They're not all misbehaved, Pacifica." said Dipper. "And even the ones that are... I mean, no one likes being ordered to sit still and follow the rules at all times. Right?"

Remembering the many hours of so-called behavioral training she had endured at the request of her parents, Pacifica sighed. "...Right." she muttered.

Suddenly, Pacifica thought she heard something in the distance. She paused. Dipper seemed to have noticed it too. Not long after, they heard it again. Much louder this time. It sounded like something high-pitched and bestial. Almost like a roosters crow but much louder and with a guttural quality that made Pacifica shudder and Dipper frown. Immediately, Dipper began to adjust his goggles again. Twisting around each lens and looking around until he finally settled on something. "It's fuzzy, but... I think I see something." he said. With a determined nod, Dipper ran off. Naturally, he was headed straight toward whatever horrible creature had just made that noise.

Pacifica wondered, briefly, if she should follow. After all, she had not signed up for a night of monster fighting when she arrived at the party earlier that night. Then again, she supposed, the party was in Gravity Falls so she should have expected this. With a small sigh, Pacifica decided to follow. As she did, she was genuinely surprised by how quickly Dipper was moving. In fact, it was a slight struggle to keep up with him while still wearing her heels. Luckily for her and her increasingly pained feet, they didn't have to run for very long.

Dipper had just turned a corner when he suddenly skidded to a stop. Pacifica joined him just as he clumsily backed up and hid behind the corner. Pacifica hadn't seen what made Dipper come to such a sudden stop, but she could guess that whatever it was, it wasn't good. Standing with their backs against the wall, they both took a moment to catch their breath. Then, Dipper peeked his head out from behind the corner. And with some trepidation, Pacifica joined him.

The creature resembled the skeleton of a giant chicken, with thick plumes of smoke filling the empty cavity in its ribs and billowing out from its empty eye sockets. It stood tall and broad, making the wide hallways of the old manor look cramped. The only things that differentiated the creature's appearance from that of a regular chicken skeleton, other than its size, were the claws on the end of its boney wings, the way its spine stretched out and split into a pair of boney tails, and the fact that it was wearing a studded leather jacket. Which Pacifica felt was a little much.

"Looks like we've got a big undead monster in the halls." muttered Dipper.

"Perfect." muttered Pacifica.

As Dipper fiddled with the goggles he was wearing, he seemed to keep his focus trained on one door in particular. As the giant undead creature walked down the hall, creeping ever closer to the door that Dipper was watching, he visibly tensed. When it stopped in front of the door, Dipper quickly ripped the goggles off and slid his eyeglasses back on. The undead chicken raised its head back, holding its massive beak in the air for a moment, before bringing it down on the door with tremendous force. Shards of wood were sent flying in all directions as several shrill screams rang out from behind the door.

Dipper suddenly rushed out from behind the corner. Standing in the middle of the hall, he took a deep breath. "HEY! OVER HERE YOU THANKSGIVING REJECT!" he bellowed. The giant undead chicken spared him a glance, but it failed to show much interest. Before it could return to its task, however, Dipper threw his goggles at it. They bounced loudly off of the creature's skull and shattered. This seemed to draw its attention.

The creature turned to face Dipper and then puffed up its chest. Dipper seemed to quickly realize what it was doing, because he quickly dived back behind the corner just as a massive stream of flames was sent flying through the air. With an impatient sigh, Dipper looked around his surroundings and then settled on a nearby suit of armor. Or more specifically, the weapons it was holding. Dipper reached for the sword but, moving quickly, Pacifica intercepted him.

"Wait." she said.

"Pacifica-" he began, only to stop when Pacifica wrenched the sword out of the suit of armor's hand herself.

"I was the captain of my fencing team in high school and college." she said, haughtily, before twirling the sword around in her hand and frowning slightly at how much heavier it was than she expected. "I won every competition we attended. And I have the trophies to back me up." she added.

Dipper stared at her for a moment and then nodded. "Right. Thanks." he muttered, before ripping the gauntlets from the suit of armor and quickly fitting them onto his hands. "I'll settle for these, then. Now, I'm gonna try and get it to breathe fire again. Once it's done, I should have enough time to get close. Once I do, I'll try to hold its beak shut so you can thrust that sword into its chest." said Dipper.

Before Pacifica could vocalize any complaints about the logic of that plan, the giant chicken skeleton suddenly stepped out from around the corner. It had already puffed out its chest as its smokey contents began to swell.

"Dipper!" Pacifica exclaimed, diving into him and pulling him to the floor just as another stream of flames was sent flying through the air. The flames washed over the wall and the suit of armor as Dipper and Pacifica rolled together across the floor, trying desperately to avoid the flames. When they finally stopped they were still on top of each other, face to face. An awkward moment passed between the two of them, before Pacifica suddenly grinned.

"Now we're even." she muttered.

Dipper rolled his eyes as he got to his feet. The giant undead chicken's stream of fire had stopped, and its chest had noticeably deflated. Dipper wasted no time in running forward, even as the creature swiped at him with the claws on its enormous wings, knocking over a few wall paintings in the process. He showed admirable footwork as he dodged the creature's attacks, drawing ever closer until, seemingly frustrated, the creature reared back its enormous beak and pecked at him. Once again, Dipper moved quickly. Grabbing the tip of the beak with both hands and holding it mere inches away from his chest.

As the giant undead chicken attempted to rear its head back once more, Dipper jumped forward and used the extra momentum from the creature's movement to fling himself around. All of a sudden, he was laying face down on the top of the creature's head, doing his best to wrap his legs around the back of its neck as he held its beak closed.

"Pacifica!" yelled Dipper.

Pacifica ran forward as the creature stumbled backward, seemingly confused by what was happening. Without any hesitation, Pacifica plunged the sword into the smokey abyss in its chest. She felt it sink into something, and the creature let out an earsplitting howl. Pacifica clenched her teeth and twisted the sword, causing small streams of smoke to rise up from where the sword made contact. Looking up, Pacifica watched as the undead creature's twin tails wrapped themselves around Dipper's legs, and began to pull. Dipper let out a strained grunt through gritted teeth, as he struggled to keep his grip on the creature's beak. He was being pulled back with tremendous force.

Thinking quickly, Pacifica pulled out the sword and held her breath through the accompanying burst of smoke. Then, she plunged her sword into its chest yet again. This time in a different spot. The creature shuddered all over as Pacifica once again gave the blade a strong twist. Suddenly the creature's legs gave out from under it, and its massive frame was sent lurching forward. Pacifica quickly pulled out the sword and took a several steps back to avoid being crushed as the creature fell to the floor.

Standing over the creature's defeated form, Pacifica breathed a sigh of relief.

"Pacifica! Don't let your-!" Dipper began, only to be interrupted by a violent tug. His gauntlets scraped unpleasantly across the creature's skull as he was suddenly torn away and sent flying backward by the creature's twin tails. The sound of glass shattering rang out, as Dipper's head made contact with a light fixture mid-air before he fell to the ground in a heap.

Pacifica tightened her grip on her sword as the creature suddenly stood up, its chest already swelling. Before Pacifica could so much as flinch, it opened its beak, and... Nothing. Just a small, high-pitched squeak. The creature closed its beak and tentatively cocked its head to the side, seemingly embarrassed. Then, it lunged forward with a mighty peck, which Pacifica successfully parried with her sword. This was followed by another attempt, which Pacifica once again batted away.

Unfortunately, because she was preoccupied with its sharp beak, the creature managed to catch her off guard with a boney wing. With a massive swipe, the creature sent her flying sideways where she crashed into a wall with considerable force. However, despite being both heavily dazed and winded, she did not loosen her grip on her sword.

The giant undead chicken let out a deafening crow as Pacifica struggled to regain her balance. Then, just as the creature lowered its head, its rooster-like war cry finished, Dipper suddenly rolled out from between his legs and jumped to his feet to deliver an uppercut to the bottom of its skull. The sound of metal impacting bone filled the hallway, sounding equally painful for both parties. As the undead creature stumbled backward, Dipper winced. But he was quick to cover it up with some bravado. "There! That's the McSkirmish special!" he exclaimed, before lunging forward to land another punch. This one caught the side of its beak, causing its large skull to swivel before it regained its footing.

Moving quickly, the creature tucked its wings close and spun around to whip its twin tails at him. This seemed to catch Dipper off guard, but Pacifica was able to intercept it. Having launched herself forward with a sudden burst of energy, she gave her sword a mighty swing and managed to cut off both tails at once. The spiney things wriggled across the floor as the undead creature gave a thundering screech.

Spinning itself around once more, it began to peck and swipe at them in rapid succession. Standing side by side, Pacifica and Dipper moved as a united force, blocking or parrying each attack and occasionally launching one of their own. Somehow, despite being both improvised and somewhat clumsy, their movements managed to complement each other. Pacifica moved like a trained swordmaster, while Dipper moved like a boxer.

The sounds of metal clanging against bone echoed throughout the hallways for what felt like an eternity. Over that time, cracks began to form along the undead creature's beak, and the sharp edges of its claws were slowly being dulled. Unfortunately, Pacifica and Dipper's weapons were in no better shape. Repeated strikes had begun to chip away at Pacifica's sword, while Dipper's gauntlets threatened to crumble away at any moment.

Eventually, as the undead creature pushed itself with a mighty peck, Pacifica parried it to the side and Dipper saw an opening. Clenching his hands together into a massive fist, he brought it down on the top of the creature's skull. The undead creature's head was forced downward, and Pacifica took the opportunity to raise her sword and plunge its tip directly into the creature's skull.

Pacifica let out an animalistic growl as she pinned the creature's skull to the floor. It was quick to struggle, but Pacifica did not relent, pushing the sword down with every bit of strength she could muster. As the creature struggled, its wings rose into the air and began to swipe down at her. Dipper was quick to shield her with his gauntlets, the claws on the end of its wings coming down with enough force to break away some of the metal and draw blood.

The creature only managed a few heavy swipes before its movements began to slow. Gritting her teeth, Pacifica pressed her foot down on the creature's skull in the hopes of keeping it in place as she wrenched the sword out and then wasted no time in plunging it down once more.

Finally, the creature shuddered all over. Its wings fell to the floor and the smoke that filled its chest began to dissipate, leaving its eyes sockets now empty. Once the smoke had cleared the creature's legs buckled, sending the rest of its body crashing to the floor.

Everything was still and quiet in the hallway as Pacifica and Dipper stood there, catching their breath. Neither of them moved, both keeping a weary eye on the remains of the giant chicken skeleton.

Finally, Pacifica relaxed her grip on the sword and took a few tentative steps back from the giant skeleton. When it remained motionless, she breathed a sigh of relief. Beside her, Dipper let out a pained grunt as he slowly peeled off what remained of his metal gauntlets, freeing his now bruised and bloodied hands. Pacifica frowned slightly when she noticed a trickle of blood running down the middle of his forehead and along the side of his nose. She remembered the impact he made with the light fixture and winced slightly.

"...I hope McGucket has first aid around here." muttered Pacifica.

Dipper nodded absently. "He does." he muttered, as he took off his glasses and made an attempt to wipe off the blood with the sleeve of his shirt. He was quiet for a moment, before suddenly turning to Pacifica, his face filled with worry. "Why? Are you hurt?" he asked.

Pacifica rolled her eyes at him. "...Just tired. Maybe a little bruised." she muttered.

Dipper nodded again. "Good..." he said, as he began to make his way toward the door that the undead chicken had pecked. While he walked, he reached behind his back and attempted to wipe the blood on his hands on the back of his shirt. Once he reached the door, he cleared his throat.

"Mars? Kids? It's me. Mister Pines. Everything's okay now." he called out. When he received no reply, Dipper slowly opened the door. Peeking out from behind Dipper, Pacifica could see a small group of kids, all huddled together with their eyes shut and their hands clamped desperately over their ears. Off to the side, she saw the person she had been searching for all night. Old Man McGucket. Wrapped in chains and fast asleep.

Pacifica breathed a soft sigh as she watched from the doorway. Dipper approached the children first. Slowly and carefully. Kneeling down in front of them, Dipper gently reached his hand out toward the little girl at the front of the group.

She looked like she was the oldest among them. She had long frizzy hair tied into a messy ponytail, and she was wearing a dark green sundress. When Dipper's hand got close, the little girl batted it away with a sudden shriek. Dipper winced slightly but was quick to recover. "Mars. It's me. I'm here." he said. His voice was quiet and soothing.

The little girl suddenly opened her eyes with a jolt. And they quickly filled with tears. "Uncle Dipper!" she cried, as she suddenly leaped forward and wrapped her little arms around Dipper's tired frame. Dipper wrapped an arm around her, softly patting her back as she cried into his chest.

"It's okay... You were really brave... You protected your friends..." said Dipper. "I'm really proud of you."

Suddenly feeling as if she was intruding on a private moment, Pacifica turned her attention to Old Man McGucket. With a small huff, Pacifica picked up McGucket and carried him out of the closet, leaving Dipper to gently comfort the frightened children. Once they were out in the hallways again, Pacifica shot the giant chicken skeleton's remains another weary look before she set McGucket down on the floor and set to work undoing the tangled mess of chains wrapped around him.

"Ah-hehehe, you're ticklin' me." mumbled McGucket, his eyelids suddenly fluttering open.

"You've chosen a great time to wake up from your nap..." grumbled Pacifica, as she wrestled with the chains.

"Wha-? Oh! Howdy there, young lady! Are ya'll a kidnapper or a rescuer?" asked McGucket, greeting Pacifica with a toothy grin.

Pacifica breathed a heavy sigh. "What's it look like?" she grumbled, before quickly reminding herself to summon a polite façade. It took a moment longer than she would have liked to find the fake smile she had been wearing for most of the night. "I mean, yes, I am currently in the process of rescuing you." she said, not quite managing to hide the frustration in her voice.

"Aw, well thanks, young missy! I wish I could help a little more, but me beard ain't as spry as it used to be. Poor lil' fella..." said McGucket. "I used to be able to pop me shoulders outta place to escape and whatnot, but it's been a little harder ever since I started replacin' me bones with titanium and such. I still ain't figured out if I wanna go full cyborg, so no laser eyes either."

Pacifica nodded along absently, keeping herself squarely focused on the task at hand. A few minutes passed by before she made any progress on the knotted chain, but once she had, the chains quickly loosened and McGucket was free.

"And so, I told him, if ya'll keep all that sassafrasin' sarsparilla in one place, it's gonna explode! And y'know what happened? His wife left 'im. Turned out he had other problems... Oh! I'm free!" exclaimed McGucket, suddenly jumping to his feet. "Welp, thanks fer everythin'. I'd better go on an' find Dipper and the lil' tykes. Seems like there's a bit of business goin' on with this lil' feller in a cloak."

With that, McGucket turned to race down the hall. But before he could, Pacifica quickly reached out and grabbed him. "Not so fast!" she exclaimed, lifting the small old man off the ground by the straps of his overalls as she stood herself up. McGucket's feet continued to move wildly in the air as Pacifica held him.

"Dipper and those kids are in that closet." said Pacifica, pointing McGucket in the direction of the utility closet.

"Oh! Well, thanks again!" exclaimed McGucket, his feet slowing their mid-air scurrying for a moment.

"Also..." Pacifica continued, quietly preparing herself to broach the subject of what had been one of her main goals for the night. But before she could say anything, a deep, raspy voice suddenly echoed throughout the halls.

"You may believe you have won... By defeating my... Minion..." the raspy voice suddenly paused for a moment to rattle with a long, hacking cough. "B-but... You will never truly... Win."

Pacifica looked around, but she could not see any trace of where the voice might be coming from. As she looked around, Dipper emerged from the closet with an angry yet resigned expression. "Great. Sounds like we've gotta sit through an evil monologue..." he muttered, as he joined Pacifica and McGucket. "What are the odds he tells us that he's decided to pack it in for the night? Any chance?" he asked. The question was, of course, rhetorical.

"In mere moments... I shall raise an army of skeletons... Take the device by force... And bring this place to ruin..." growled the raspy voice. "I had planned to allow you the honor... Of receiving judgment from the great one... But now you will receive it... From me..."

Once again, the voice began to cough. So hard this time that it began to retch. Finally, the voice continued. "Ah... Not much longer now... Soon... Soon..." it growled, before launching into a long, rattling laugh. Eventually, the sound of the laughter began to fade, and the halls were quiet once more.

Pacifica clenched her teeth as she slowly lowered McGucket back down to the floor. There were a number of thoughts running through her head at once, most of them angry complaints. However, she was not undisciplined enough to allow for any distractions from her main priority. Taking a quick moment to straighten her dress and fix her frazzled hair, Pacifica once again summoned her winning smile.

Old Man McGucket was dancing a nervous jig, and it took multiple polite throat clearings to get his attention. From a young age, Pacifica had been taught many ways to effectively manipulate rich older men. It was a crucial skill for survival in the world of the rich and elite. And while McGucket was eccentric, to put it mildly, she was confident that she would win him over in no time.

She would get what she wanted, no matter what the rest of the night tried to throw at her. The chaotic forces of Weirdness were strong in the town of Gravity Falls, but nothing could break the resolve of Pacifica Northwest.