A/N: Warning: This chapter is going to be quite a bit darker. Graphic description of child abuse and violence... :( Kinda hard to write, but please enjoy.

Chapter 5: A Place to Call Home

Luffy trudged down the dark road as he headed back to the apartment. His shift at Caffee Bene had just ended recently, and he was actually enjoying the work there. His co-workers were really nice, and had even given him some of the leftover pastries to bring home. And although the coffee shop was very busy, and the customers were rude, the job helped him keep his mind off of things. As long as moments aren't quiet, or at least if he isn't alone, then he doesn't have to think. But now was one of those quiet and alone moments that Luffy truly hated.

Absentmindedly he wondered what state his grandfather would be in upon arrival. Usually, the gray-haired man would either be smoking his seventh pack of cigarettes that day, or deeply confused and unreasonably angry. Or a dangerous combination of the two.

Luffy shivered and quickened his step, wanting to get back to the apartment and face whatever mood his grandfather would be in, and get it done with. Maybe I'll be lucky tonight and he'll be passed out drunk. Although that thought sent a tiny bud of hope to go through Luffy's chest, he highly doubted it would actually happen. Unfortunately for Luffy, his grandfather had a certain resistance to most alcohols, and could only get drunk off the expensive, potent kind. And of course, that high quality of alcohol was much too expensive for Luffy to afford with his part-time job; he was having enough trouble as it was balancing the apartment's rent and living expenses for both him and Garp.

I just wish that the old man would've waited a little longer until retirement. As soon as Luffy had become old enough to go to work, Garp had quit his job as a policeman, seeing how he could relax and let the boy take care of him. All he does now is sit at home, drink, smoke, and sometimes gamble with his old buddies. Even though they had moved, Luffy was almost positive that Garp had given their new apartment's address to his gambling friends. They might just make the hour and a half drive out here to see him.

Luffy shuddered and wrapped his sweater tightly around him. He didn't want to think about Garp's old friends. They were just as bad when it came to drinking and smoking. And hurting people. Luffy felt his eyes prickling with tears, but he forced it down. He was taught the hard way that he shouldn't cry openly.

Instead of thinking about Garp's mean friends, Luffy's mind travelled down a darker road in his head. He thought of his mother, whom he had only seen in old photographs. In every picture, she was happily smiling. Luffy wondered that if she was here now, that she might smile at him. His chest felt tight, and for the first time that day it wasn't from the aching in his ribs. It was from the pain of knowing that it was his fault that she wasn't there.

He thought of his father, who his only memories of the man were unpleasant ones. Luffy never remembered his father smiling– not once. The only thing he could recall of his father was pain. Pain, and a body hanging in the closet. His chest clenched again, and although his father had never been nice to him, it was Luffy's fault that he too was gone.

And then he thought of his brother. Ace, who's five years older than Luffy, and could actually remember their mother. He even had some better memories of their father. And Luffy was the one who took them both away from Ace.

This time when Luffy felt the tears, he let them fall. It was his fault that his parents were gone, and it was his fault that Ace had to suffer because of him. Because of that, Luffy believed that he deserved this pain. No matter how much it hurt and no matter how long he begged that man to stop, deep down he knew he deserved it.

After what seemed like an eternity of thinking, Luffy finally arrived at his grungy apartment. He sighed and wiped his tears. He was not glad to be back.

Luffy walked stiffly up the stairs on the side of the building, still a little sore and worn out. He pulled the key from his pocket and opened the door as quietly as he could. Holding his breath, Luffy stepped through and entered. He was silent– no use announcing that he was 'home' to that beast of a grandfather.

Luffy wasn't surprised at the current condition of the cramped apartment. Looking around, empty beer cans and trash littered just about every surface. The air was thick with the overwhelming stench of secondhand smoke, making Luffy wrinkle his nose in disgust. The only thing missing from this overly familiar scene was Garp. He wasn't passed out on the couch, he wasn't stumbling around in a pissed off mood... he just wasn't there.

Deciding to risk it all, Luffy tentatively called out, "Garp?" His voice came out quiet and meek, but it carried throughout the otherwise silent apartment.

No response.

Did he go out? Luffy thought as a small smile began to form on his childish features. Quickly he searched the few rooms in the apartment, all turning out empty. Grinning, Luffy went to the kitchen. Without Garp here, Luffy would be able to eat his baked goods in peace.

Luffy set the bag of leftover food from work on the counter and grabbed a plate. Even though his grandfather wasn't there, Luffy moved quickly and silently. Garp could return at anytime and Luffy didn't want the man to catch him eating without permission.

Once he was finished putting his food on a plate, Luffy went to the messy living room and began eating. He was itching to turn on the tv, but he didn't dare. Eating without Garp allowing him to was bad enough, so he didn't want to break any more rules by watching television.

But now, as Luffy sat eating, he was alone and things were quiet. Another unwanted opportunity to think.

Luffy wondered when he'd be able to meet Ace again. After all, it had been two years since he'd seen him last. The only problem was that Luffy wasn't sure if Ace would even want to see him. Luffy wouldn't be surprised if Ace would never want anything to do with him ever again.

And it's all my fault.

Luffy sniffled and wiped away the forming tears. He tried to convince himself that Ace would be the forgiving older brother that he knew and loved, but the guilt was crushing him inside. Luffy looked down at his plate, still nearly full of cookies and brownies, and sighed. Luffy picked up a chocolate brownie and began nibbling on it when he heard a loud bang from behind him. Luffy yelped and jumped in his seat, quickly turning around.

There, standing in the doorway, was the figure of the man Luffy hated the most.

"And what are you looking at?" The voice slightly slurred.

Luffy snapped his head forward to look straight ahead at the living room. "Nothing, s-sir."

Luffy sat upright on the sofa, nervously waiting for what he knew was about to come. In the silence of the apartment, Luffy could hear as the man took several unsteady steps into the room, slamming the door behind him.

"How was school?" The sound of footsteps neared even closer.

Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Luffy managed a weak response. "G-good, sir."

"Good? Hm. Did you make any new friends?" he asked with a sinister chuckle.

Luffy gave a slight nod to the man who was now directly behind him. "Yes, sir."

At this, his grandfather howled out with laughter while Luffy cringed. "As if... as if anyone would want to be friends with a freak like you!"

His out of control bellow startled Luffy, who now began shaking in his seat. The terrifying laughter continued, while Luffy stayed planted on the sofa. He knew what was coming, and soon.

Suddenly the mad laughing fit stopped, and all was quiet. Then he spoke again, his deep, menacing voice cutting through the silence like a knife. "Aww, are you scared?"

This time Luffy held his tongue, as his whole frame trembled. He didn't trust his voice at the moment. Luffy closed his eyes as a large hand was placed on his shoulder.

"Well... you should be." The grip tightened and suddenly Luffy felt his body jerk backwards and fly through the air.

Pain exploded throughout Luffy's back as it connected with the wall. He fell to the floor with a loud thump, but he knew better than to cry out. Instead, he looked up slightly to see what Garp's next move would be. Garp was standing behind the now overturned sofa with his back towards Luffy. Luffy watched him carefully, waiting for the slightest movement. But the older man only stood there, as if thinking about something. That something became very clear when Garp spoke.

"So... had yourself a snack of cookies and brownies, did ya?" His voice was cool and collected, but Luffy knew better than to think that he was actually calm. No, this quiet demeanor was masking a bubbling rage that would soon explode. Luffy had seen it happen all too many times before.

Garp picked up the plate and held it, silently turning it over in his hands. Suddenly his hand shot out, launching the glass plate across the room, where it shattered on the wall. Luffy flinched at the loud noise and cowered when Garp rounded on him. His calm presence had long since vanished, and his face was lined with malice.

"You damn brat! You know you aren't supposed to eat until I let you!" He marched over to where Luffy was kneeling on the floor, and gave him a swift kick in the gut.

Luffy doubled over in pain, clutching his sides as Garp continued yelling at him.

"I gave you clothes! I gave you a home! I fucking took you in and cared for you when no one wanted you! And what do you repay me with?!"

Luffy recoiled against the wall in terror as the violent kicks resumed.

"You go behind my back and break my rules... what an ungrateful brat you are," Garp snarled as he picked Luffy up by his shirt collar, and Luffy was once again reminded why he was glad his new school uniform didn't have a tie.

"I took you and your brother in out of the goodness of my heart... the least you can do is follow my damn rules!" Garp bellowed, spit flying from his large mouth.

Goodness of your heart, my ass. Luffy thought while he looked down and kept his mouth shut. At times like these, it's better for Luffy to just let Garp to take his anger out on him.

"Why do you always cause so much trouble?! Every bad thing that happens is always your fault!" Garp's free hand constricted around Luffy's neck, grasping it hard.

Luffy tried crying out in pain, but found he couldn't even take a breath. He reached his hands up and tried grabbing onto Garp's arm to make him let go, but it was all in vain as the grip on his neck only tightened. Luffy felt tears threaten to escape as he gasped for air. His vision was going fuzzy and he felt close to passing out.

"Why are you always so much trouble?! Why are you always such a burden?" Garp's words became quieter and the grip on Luffy's neck loosened.

And then the large hand was gone, and Luffy fell to the floor once more, coughing and gasping uncontrollably. His throat felt as though it were on fire, and it burned with an unpleasantly painful sensation. He coughed a few more times, gagging when he spit up some blood, and tried to take deep breaths. At least Garp is letting me catch my breath. He choked on the rest of the blood that was in his mouth and spat it out in revulsion.

Once Luffy began breathing normally, he looked up at Garp to see what he'd do next. He was hoping that since Garp hadn't done anything for a few moments that it would finally be over, but the expression on Garp's face told otherwise. No... this was going to be a long night.

The larger man was staring down at him with several dark emotions plastered over his wrinkly face. Luffy could easily recognize the hatred and disgust, but deeper down Luffy could sense his sadness. Sadness... mixed with disappointment and utter defeat.

"Why?" Garp's voice came out broken and despairingly sad. "Why did you take my beloved son away from me?"

Luffy felt that same pain from earlier. Not the one in his aching ribs, but the one that crushed his heart. No matter how bad Garp hurt him, Luffy truly deserved it.

Suddenly Garp's gray eyes flashed dangerously. "It's all your fault," he spat. Garp reached down and gripped Luffy firmly by the roots in his hair, and dragged him to the kitchen. Luffy knew what was coming next as he scrambled around frantically, trying to get free.

"No, please! Not the knife again!" Luffy pleaded as the tears rolled down his face.

"Stop your crying and shut the hell up!" Garp yelled as he brought his hand down hard on Luffy's cheek.

Luffy's eyes widened slightly, but instead of more useless begging he bit down hard on his lip. Luffy tried to focus on the pain in his now bleeding lip to distract him from crying. And it worked, until he saw Garp grab the knife from the counter.

"I said to stop those damn tears!" Garp clutched the knife in his hand and smashed it into Luffy's left shoulder. The blade dug down deep, and Luffy screamed from the pain.

"Shut the fuck up you damn brat!" Garp sneered as he twisted the blade in place and blood pumped profusely from the wound.

Luffy wanted to yell again. Hell, he wanted to scream bloody murder, but he knew that if he did, this would only last longer. So he bit into his lip, harder this time, and restrained himself from crying out.

"It's your fault!" Garp shouted directly in his face. "Why did you kill my son?!"

This was a one-sided conversation that Luffy and Garp had had countless times before. So rather than answering, Luffy clenched his mouth shut. Just let Garp have it out, and it will all be over, he reminded himself.

"WHY?! Why did you do it?" Garp yanked the knife from Luffy's shoulder roughly and sliced it downward on his arm. "Why did you kill him!?"

Tiny tear buds formed in Luffy's eyes, but he refused to let them fall. He had dealt with much more pain before. This, he could withstand.

"Tell me, damn it!" Garp wailed. Startled, Luffy looked up to see tears in the older man's eyes.

For the first time since Garp had come back to the apartment, Luffy was surprised. No, Luffy wasn't surprised when Garp threw him across the room, kicked him mercilessly while he was down on the floor, when he nearly choked him to death, stabbed and cut him in the arm, or even when he yelled and asked why he killed his son. Luffy was surprised that Garp, his own grandfather and a man known for his cruelty, was actually shedding tears, something that Luffy had never seen before. Hell, he never thought it was possible in the first place.

A deep slash to his forearm quickly brought Luffy out of his daze. He let his teeth dig back into the bloody flesh of his lip, as he tried not to shriek from the pain.

Garp lowered his face so he could look Luffy directly in the eye. His expression was one of complete rancor and resentment, and in the coldest tone possible, he muttered, "You should never have been born."

Luffy looked down, ashamed to know that this man was speaking the truth. After all, if he was never born, then his mother wouldn't have died, his father wouldn't have hung himself, and Ace wouldn't have had to go away to that rehab school for six long years. Things would have been much better if Luffy was never born.

Garp tightened his grip on the knife as he narrowed his eyes at the young boy beneath him. "I fucking hate you! Why the hell did you take my son away?!" The next attack was swift and painfully accurate as Garp slashed through Luffy's school uniform to the delicate skin underneath. The blade slid across the already bruised flesh, leaving behind a trail of scarlet that oozed from each new wound.

Clenching his eyes shut, Luffy lay there and waited for this to end. He desperately wanted to cry out, to scream as if there were no tomorrow and let the tears run free... but he had been taught the hard way not to do any of those. If he went ahead and cried or screamed, then this punishment would only last that much longer.

The clatter of the knife as it hit the tiled floor registered in his mind, and he no longer felt the icy edge of the blade slice through his wounded skin. Luffy opened his eyes, and saw Garp stiffly getting up off of the floor. Luffy's onyx eyes trailed after Garp's form as it disappeared down the hall and into his room. Without so much as another word, Garp had left Luffy lying alone, battered and bleeding, on the kitchen floor.

But that was normal.

Finally, he was alone, and finally, he could cry. As long as he kept quiet. The tears spilled out of his eyes as Luffy painfully crawled into a fetal position, wary of his wounds. He buried his face into his good arm, and sobbed silently. He wanted to die. He just wanted to get out of this cruel and unforgiving world, but Luffy knew he couldn't. For the same reason Luffy couldn't tell the police about what Garp did to him, Luffy couldn't take his own life.

He was scared.

So rather than disappearing from existence, Luffy lay curled up on the dirty floor, crying his heart out. This type of thing would happen whenever Luffy was still conscious after Garp was finished with him.

After several hours of this depressed state, Luffy hauled himself to a standing position. He wobbled slightly, looking at the clock on the microwave. It read 4:17 am. Garp would surely be sleeping by now. Luffy decided that now would be the best time to get himself cleaned up. He headed off down the hall, and reached the bathroom while being as quiet as possible. Luffy silently closed the door behind him, and breathed a sigh of relief that Garp wasn't coming after him. Then Luffy stood in front of the mirror to check the damage.

Garp was really rough tonight, Luffy frowned. He had dealt with worse pain before, but this time Garp sure was careless about where he left a mark.

Luffy was extremely pale, with dark bags under his eyes and wildly messy raven hair, per usual. But he was sporting a new bruise on his left cheek, which would need to be covered up before school. His neck was growing darker by the minute with large bruises in the shape of a hand. I'll have to wear my shirt collar a little higher, Luffy decided as he continued examining the rest of his injuries.

His plain white shirt was ripped open, revealing a mass of fresh cuts that wouldn't heal anytime soon. The worst part about that knifing session was the fact that Luffy's left arm was barely moving. It seemed to take the worst damage from the punishment, with a deep stab wound in the shoulder and a long gash running down his arm. Each small movement from that arm was more painful than each breath that Luffy took from his injured chest, and that was saying something.

Luffy grabbed a washcloth and turned on the sink, putting it on a low setting to keep quiet. He let the hand towel soak up the water before he ran it down his left arm. Luffy hissed with pain, but knew that he would have to clean each wound before wrapping them. After he washed away all the dirt and dried blood, he dropped the dirty washcloth into the sink and wordlessly reached down into the cabinet below. With his good arm, Luffy retrieved his first aid kit. He worked silently as he bandaged up his arm and chest, working rather quickly from experience.

Cleaned and wrapped up, Luffy put away the kit and ventured back out into the living room. It was already 4:32, but Luffy didn't feel like sleeping. So he decided that he'd get a head start on cleaning. After all, Luffy wouldn't have any time to tidy up after school, and cleaning was one of his many chores.

Luffy kept himself busy and his mind preoccupied by cleaning up around the apartment, picking up litter and empty beer cans, turning the sofa back over, and scrubbing away any traces of blood from the floor and walls. He worked hard and silently, not allowing himself any time to think. Once the place was back in order, Luffy glanced at the clock. 5:05. Damn. That didn't take nearly as long as I thought it would.

As much as Luffy didn't want to sleep, he was exhausted.

Deciding on a quick nap before getting up to make Garp breakfast, Luffy shuffled down the hall to his room. He flopped onto his bed, careful not to reopen his injuries, and tried to sleep.

Luffy really tried.

He closed his eyes, adjusted his position, he even tried counting fucking sheep for God's sake. But sleep would not come.

And now as he lay in the darkness of his cramped bedroom, Luffy had yet another wonderful opportunity to think.

He thought of his new friends at school, and prayed that they wouldn't notice anything different. Zoro might. He seemed really worried about me yesterday... He was a little anxious, as several people already had their eye out for him. I hope they don't catch on.

He thought of his new workplace and silently wished that no one at the coffee shop would sense anything off about him. Nobody at work seemed suspicious of him, which was good, but Kid reminded Luffy of Zoro in a way. Both were very perceptive. Luffy would have to be extra careful from now on.

His mind tailed down to the 'event' that took place several hours before.

'I gave you a home! I fucking took you in and cared for you when no one wanted you!' Garp had yelled.

Luffy felt the familiar prickle of tears in his eyes. All he wanted was a home, a true home. But he couldn't have one. Luffy's hands were stained with the blood of his parents, and his heart was plagued with a disease called guilt. He couldn't really have a home like this. Sure, he could have a place to live, like the apartment right now, but he could never truly have a place to call home.

As Luffy lay, crying silently in his bed, a single thought ran through his mind. So much for having a good day.