She felt his strong hand grab her arm, like he had done when she had confronted him at the breakfast incident. He turned her and pinned her against the wall between the bathroom and the bedroom.
She looked at him dumbfounded and then realized that there was no anger or rage in his eyes, it was fear, if that was even possible for a man like Cain.
"You want to know why I was angry?"
"Yes," she found herself whispering.
"Because I couldn't bear to think that something could happen to you. I wasn't sure if you really knew who you were up against. I didn't want you to get hurt. And I've been a mess ever since that moment, knowing that I had intentionally hurt and harmed you."
He paused for a second.
"And potentially killed you."
"You threatened me," she said confused.
"I had to. I was hoping you'd get scared and stop what you had in motion."
"But you hated me."
"Oh God Julia, I didn't hate you, I never hated you. I spent months watching you, paying attention to you when you least expected it, desperately wishing that I could get close to you, but it was impossible. I kept my distances because it was dangerous for both of us. God knows I envied Hawkins and I still do."
Julia swallowed. "I don't understand," she said without really meaning to, because she had a pretty good idea as to what he was saying exactly. The conversation could have ended there and then. She could have said 'fine, you've said what you had to say, now you can go', but she hadn't.
During a few seconds she thought back to her time in the hospital before that fatal day and she realized that Barrett had very often been near, but as he was known as Red Rock's ally, she had dismissed and ignored him. The more she thought about it, the more she realized he had been in the gallery during most of her surgeries, had been sitting at a table not far from hers in the cafeteria, and often been on the same patient floor as her. He had in fact always been there, she had just put blinders on because she was supposed to hate him. Except they had always been on the same side. She had brought Conrad into the battle when in the end someone was already fighting it for her and with her. If she had known, things would have been, could have been, so different.
He removed his grasp from her arm and raised his right hand so that his fingers caressed her still warm and rosy cheek, desperately hoping she would remove it.
"I had to pretend to hate you because it was easier than to admit that I was falling in love with you. The strong, relentless, and beautiful woman that you are."
He lowered his hand and took the knot of the robe belt in it. He took a step back inevitably pulling her a few inches away off the wall. His words rang in her ears in a loop, as she stared into the void, as he undid the knot of the belt. The robe spread apart slightly allowing for her skin to show through the slit under his gaze.
As his hands took a hold of each side of the robe and parted them gently and slowly, his eyes drifted to her face. She stopped staring into the void and locked her eyes on his. The intensity in his stare was consuming. No man had ever looked at her that way, not even Conrad and it was stupefying.
He continued to remove the robe over her shoulders. After that there was nothing to prevent it from finishing its course on the floor, almost in a halo-like shape surrounding her.
She watched as he bent at the knees and lowered himself so that his face was at the same level as her abdomen. She shivered when his fingers landed on her skin to trace and outline her scars.
"I would give anything to remove these from your skin, but I know I can't. The only thing I can do is make you realize that you are even more beautiful in my eyes."
As his lips took the place of his fingers, she closed her eyes. Barrett Cain was an absolute paradox. He transpired strength and ruggedness. He was an imposing man and yet here he was at her feet with unimaginable gentleness and remorse. What the hell was he doing to her? Or was it the alcohol that made it so that she didn't want him to stop?
After having kissed her scars, he stood up straight. He noticed that her breathing had quickened, and she was biting down on her voluptuous lower lip. In that one moment, he was a goner. He gave in and did exactly what he promised himself he wouldn't do upon knocking on her door.
Both his hands reached out and cupped the sides of her face. As he pushed her back against the wall, not giving her much of an escape, he followed in stride and collided into her as his mouth found hers. It was carnal and impassioned.
He pulled back after a few minutes. Her breathing was even quicker than before and there was a look of confusion and desire in her eyes.
"I hate you," she said in a weak-kneed tone of voice.
"I know," he said in a soft whisper, "but I would prefer you didn't, because it's more painful than you can possibly imagine. And knowing that you hate me when I feel nothing but love, affection, and attraction for you, is more than I can bare. But I'll have to learn to live with it, I guess."
She put her hands out flat on his chest and pushed him up against the opposite wall, catching him by surprise. This time her mouth claimed his as she leaned in against him, her hands sliding down and clutching at the fabric of his t-shirt, raising it slowly inch by inch.
When it was finally possible, she slid her hands underneath his shirt and worked her way over his chiseled abdomen and chest. He had often dreamed of her touch on his skin, and it had been worth the wait. His hands trailed along her lower back and simultaneously their lips parted, and their tongues collided. For a few minutes it was almost a battle of domination between them as their tongues darted fervently at the other, wanting to lead, until they found mutual ground.
Feeling at a disadvantage, as he had easy access to most of her body including her breasts and hardening nipples, she pulled back and raised his t-shirt up his flank and chest. He took over and raised it over his shoulders and head, letting it fall to the floor as she caressed, kissed, and teased his chest with her tongue.
He closed his eyes and let the moment sink in, until her lips left his skin, and she walked away as she could, considering she was still a tad tipsy.
He watched from his position as she neared the bed. In three huge strides he reached her. He bent over just enough for his hands to cup her derriere and lifted her effortlessly off the ground. Her legs hooked around his flank as his mouth devoured hers passionately.
They kissed for quite a while until he lowered her on the bed. He removed her tanga and with his strong hands around her ankles he tugged at her legs gently so that she was laying down on the edge of the bed, her legs hanging, barely touching the floor with her toes.
He stripped the rest of his clothes off so that they were both completely naked. Her eyes scanned the now visible parts of his anatomy. He wanted her without a doubt.
He knelt on the floor placing himself in between her thighs and allowed the teasing sensation, of what he was doing to her, grow progressively, building up the arousal, the sexual tension between them.
He then stood and hovered over her as his mouth latched on to her breast. As he did so, she lowered her arm and let her hand stroke him at first slowly then more quickly and tightly.
She could hear muffled moans of pleasure emanate from his breast-filled mouth as he sucked it and bit her nipple.
Her hand shifted to his neck and head. She then pulled him toward her face, and they kissed for a few minutes before she forced him to roll over so that she could continue giving him all her attention orally.
He clutched at her hair as she quickened her pace with her mouth. He felt like he was going to explode from the intense excitement he was experiencing. He knew he shouldn't be thinking about it, but he had had many women in his life, yet none had ever satisfied him like her.
He sat up not wanting to come there and then. He gently pushed her off the bed so that he could push back up toward the head of the bed, resting his back on the headboard.
"Come here," he said in his deep sulky voice.
The sound of his voice and the steamy, lust-filled gaze were intoxicating. She crawled from the bottom of the bed up until she was by his side, giving him the most sensual view, he could ever have hoped for.
He placed his hand on her flank and gently guided her over him in a straddling position. When she was aligned with him, with both of his hands on her hips, he lowered her slowly until he filled her entirely, sending a wave of pleasure throughout his entire body and a moan escape from her semi-parted lips.
He held on to her hips, helping her ride him, first slowly then more intensely as the momentum increased and their desire for one another grew.
Every so often they would stop for a moment so that they could caress each other or kiss. Then they would resume and when finally, she felt she couldn't or didn't want to stop, her hands shifted from his chest and grabbed the headboard behind him allowing herself to go deeper and faster. They climaxed together in a few last strong and intense thrusts of his pelvis.
This was new to him. Generally, he needed more time to reach his own rapture, but not with her, they were in sync. And it was mind-blowing for him as it was a first. This woman was everything he wanted in his life.
She let go of the headboard panting and looked down at his face as her hair cascaded around it. Neither one of them moved as they kept eye contact almost needing that to make sure it was real.
He saw her eyes fill with tears until they could not contain them anymore and she started to cry.
They weren't tears of guilt or the fact the alcohol had clouded her own emotional judgment, but instead tears of closure. The arrogant, condescending, and cold-hearted man who had tried to kill her, had in the end been a hero in disguise trying to bring Red Rock to justice. He had dropped the act tonight and had been the exact opposite of the man she had come to despise.
He didn't speak or ask. He didn't have to, he knew. He had put her through hell. He easily lifted her off him and set her down next to him on the bed. She curled up on her side amid the tears and the ongoing orgasmic aftermath. He turned on his side, spooning her and placed his strong arm around her to comfort her until she, then him shortly after, fell asleep.
When the ringtone of his phone, somewhere in his jean pocket on the floor, woke him from a deep sleep, he opened his eyes. He was laying on his back. He turned his head to the side of the bed where she had been, only to find an empty spot with a folded piece of paper on the pillow.
He reached out and took it as he scanned the room and listened. There was no indication that she was still there, and in all honesty, he hadn't expected her to stick around either, even if he had silently hoped.
He flipped the paper open.
'This, changes nothing. Goodbye Barrett. Julia'
He passed his hand over his bald head. He would respect her wishes, for now. But he knew it was just a question of time before he would want, need to see, touch, and make love to her again.