I don't own the TMNT

A/N: YES! I am BACK! For those who don't know, I was in the process of moving. For almost three weeks I had no internet at all while we were in the process. It was a 'murphy's law' move. Meaning a LOT of stuff went wrong, so even when I got service back it took me a while to have time to get back. In any case, thank you guys so much for your patience in this! It is much appreciated! Hope that you like this new installment!

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Get rid of your brothers…

It seemed to echo off the recesses of my brain. Perhaps in my current state I couldn't fully absorb what she had said. She didn't seem to mind my lack of answer, though. Instead she seemed content to lay there beside me in silence. I was getting sleepy, which wasn't surprising considering my raid on the precinct and everything that happened afterwards.

Yet no matter how I tried to turn away from it, I could still hear the words as I drifted off.

Get rid of your brothers.

I should have expected this. Truly. In a way I was surprised it didn't happen earlier. They were always the ones that posed a threat to our relationship, after all. Them and my own weakness. But even as I thought of it, an odd feeling twisted in the pool of my gut. A bad feeling.

Could I do it?

My sleep was tumultuous. Images of my brothers laughing in the better times juxtapose with their cold shoulders and silent accusations after April's death, with everything that came afterwards. It played havoc with my system, played games with my mind and my emotions. When I awoke I hardly felt rested at all and my legs were tangled with the sheets as evidence of my unrest.

I was alone in bed, and used that time to lay there, my brain lost in thought.

How badly I messed things up the other day couldn't possibly be quantified. Before all of that we were happy, content.

And I didn't have to make this type of a decision.

The very difficulty of it was presenting myself as evidence to me. Partly evidence of my own weakness. I played over all the past events with them in the last six months and, try as I might to convince myself otherwise, it was time that I face the truth. It was clear that despite everything that happened, I still cared for them, at least to some degree. It explained why I stayed behind to treat Leo. Why, that one night on the rooftop, I almost let them talk me into going back with them. And why, now, I was having difficulty coming to terms with the thought of killing them.

I tried to imagine how I would do it. One thing was for sure, I didn't think I could do the same thing we did with the other targets. I couldn't let Sophia cut off their digits, then carve them open. For one thing our anatomy would make both of those extremely difficult if not impossible. Then, of course, there was everything that came with it.

Why was my brain betraying me so?

Stifling a groan, I put a palm over my face. Like it or not, I had to go through with it. I wasn't willing to destroy what I had with Sophia. I had betrayed her and she gave me a chance to make it up to her. It only made sense that she'd want to get rid of the only other possible competition. To get rid of what was threatening our relationship.

Suddenly I imagined Mike's laughter after making a joke, Leo's support and Raph's dedication. And blood splashed on the wall.

Maybe that was why I felt a little queasy right now.

Could I really do this?

"Donatello? You up?"

I jerked upright at the sound of her voice. She was here? I looked at the time. It was eight in the morning on a Friday. She was supposed to be at work. Why wasn't she there? Did I do something? My gut twisted, a coldness seeping into it. I should've heard her, but I was an idiot, too lost in my own mind. The silence stretched. But I had to answer, she likely already knew that I was up. Hesitating for an instant, I cleared my throat. "Yes…"

"Well get in here and eat!"

She sounded cheerful, downright chipper. What was going on? Something felt distinctly not right about the situation. Too many things were different. Yet I obeyed, slowly sliding off the bed and with careful steps heading towards the door. For the first time I became aware of the smell of food. Was she cooking breakfast?

This thought confused the hell out of me. In general, Sophia was not a cook. Not only was she not at all interested in it, especially cooking for someone else, but her skills were sorely lacking. Yet this food didn't smell burned or mutilated at all.

Opening the door I saw her by the stove. Turning, she flashed me with a blinding smile. I blinked and hesitantly returned it. Waving to a chair with one hand she laughed. "I know. But trust me, breakfast is one thing I'm good at. Sit!"

Something about this felt so wrong. I stared at her as she turned away and started working on the pancakes once more. In a pan on the side was some sizzling bacon. Something about her seemed almost contrived, like a show, but I was probably reading too far into it. After all, this was only my love, cooking breakfast.

For me.

So I silently made my way across the kitchen and sat down. No sooner had my shell touched the chair than a plate of pancakes and bacon was set before me, melting butter pooling on the surface of it. It smelled amazing. I couldn't help but steal another glance at Sophia as she turned to make herself a plate.

She as positively bubbly. "I called in sick at work. Wanted to spend the day with you!" Another blinding smile as she sat down across from me. "How do you like breakfast? I wanted to do something special, you know, as a symbol of our building relationship, right? After today things are going to be different." Reaching across the table she touched my hand and squeezed it, her eyes becoming serious. "I just wanted to tell you that I'm so glad that you agreed yesterday. I don't know what I would've done if you decided to end our relationship. I really do love you, Donatello. More than anything else."

Suddenly I felt sick. Not because of what she said. That, indeed, made me happy, elated, ecstatic. But the facts weighed heavily on me, only made worse by the situation. We were eating pancakes, declaring love, and celebrating over the future death of my brothers.

I couldn't let her see that I hadn't truly decided, of course.

Turning up my lips, I returned the smile.

Of course she saw right through it.

Her expression darkened. "What is it? Are you having second thoughts?" The words were sharp, demanding. I winced at them.

My brain worked over to think of something. In times like this, it was always best to lean on the truth, at least part of it. "No, of course not Sophia! I just…it's just going to be hard. Their trained ninjas." Another thought hit me even as I was speaking it. After all, what would I do in their situation? "What if they end up killing me instead? Or you?"

I stared at her for a second. Her expression was completely blank. Why was I having such a hard time reading her today?

Then she gave a slight smile. Her eyes left mine, staring off into the distance. "It won't happen, Donatello. We're just too good together. I believe that we were meant to be. Why would fate put us together only to have that happen?"

Shit. This was going to be harder than I thought. It would be easier if I wasn't such a dumbass that I could decide which way to go with this. That I had some sort of direction. Was I even going to go through with it? Yes! Of course. You had to. Maybe I just needed time…

I cleared my throat. "Yes, of course, Sophia. You're right." I smiled and squeezed her hand. "You always are." Now a smile spread on her face. I said the right thing. It was always better to go with at least part truth. Leave the other part out.

Now time for the tricky part. Buying for time.

My expression turned serious. "This will take more planning, though. I'll need more time." Her expression turned slightly dark once more, a hint of speculation in there. Before she could say anything I pushed forward. "Not only are they very skilled, not at all like the people we've gone after, but the training that they've had is the same that I've had. I know I've earned more skills since knowing you, but it still makes it harder. That and for the most part they know how I process things. Both from living with me and following news stories to see how we've been killing our targets. They know our usual strategies. I'll need to try a completely different tactic, one that they won't expect."

I could see her thinking about it, perhaps trying to decide whether I was trying to avoid the entire thing or not. But in truth, even when I vocalized it, it started to come together in my brain. Everything that I said was true, and it seemed to me like a unique challenge. A brain teaser. Something to combat and solve.

Maybe if I thought about it in a way like that, it would be easier. As long as I didn't try to think of the end result.

That was when my brain process completely fell apart.

Yes. Just think of the task at hand. We can handle that part when we come to it.

Across from me, Sophia's face finally broke in a wide smile. "Of course, Donatello. You're right, we do need to be more careful with this." Her eyes fixed on mine. They seemed to be accusatory, loving and suspicious all at the same time. I could do nothing but stare. How lucky I was to have her. I was probably just reading too much into her expression anyway. She loved me. Her smile broadened. "But don't worry. I'll be with you EVERY single step of the way."

She wasn't going to let me out of her sight. There was still distrust. Of course. I deserved it after all that I did. After all one night of reconciliation didn't immediately build back all the burned bridges. That took time. But it did mean that I couldn't purposely take my time with it. I needed to focus on the task at hand.

After all, it was becoming obvious that there was no getting away from this.

lllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

The week seemed to crawl by. After much sitting, writing, sketching and research, I would formulate a plan, then sit and do my best to pick it apart. It was necessary because it needed to be foolproof. Yet no matter how solid I thought that I built it, I always found some crucial flaw that made it all fall apart. Some of them seemed obvious once I uncovered them. It made me wonder if I put it there on purpose, just to waste another day, delay it one more time.

Turns out that the last thing Sophia did was help. If anything she was a hindrance. She had no patience for real planning, which is one reason why she was never involved in it to begin with. Even if she did have the patience for it, she suspected the same thing that I secretly did each time the flaw was discovered, only, of course, she was more vocal about it. More accusatory. I did my best to deflect them, but that's hard when you secretly suspect the same thing. Normally this would end up with her storming out for a few hours, which gave me a few hours to plan in peace. Naturally this was always fruitless as I was so keyed up that nothing would formulate in my brain. Or maybe that was just my excuse. Then it would start all over again when she came home and saw how little I had done in her absence.

It was like a roller coaster ride in hell. The up and down of emotions was tearing me up. Wearing me out. Even when I got a plan that I thought would work before I tore it apart, I couldn't bring myself to be happy or excited about it. Part of it was because of how far I had emotionally removed myself from it. I even changed the names of my brothers in my mind to A, B and C, to keep from picturing their faces with their names. The other part…I don't know. I didn't like to look too closely into that. For one thing, it would ruin the first reasoning point. The other part…well, I didn't really want to look into that either. I was too cowardly, obviously.

Most of the time my very soul was in despair. I was sure that I wasn't going to be able to do it, that I would lose Sophia forever and die alone and bereft of everything that I ever cared for. Surely it was the least that I deserved after putting her through this. A person only had so much patience, after all.

During what little free time I had to take a break, I found myself staring off into the distance at nothing at all. Sometimes my brain was a blank and I sat there like a maniquin, unmoving. After all my brain felt fried from forcing it to think of a strategy that my heart didn't seem to be into. Then I would chastise myself for such thoughts. I was only doing what was right. It was my own stupid fault that it was happening like this. Maybe I hadn't gotten over my little rebellion over Sophia and this was my own punishment. Or it could be a result of my brother's manipulations. I didn't know.

On one such occasion, after Sophia left in a huff, admitting out loud for the first time that perhaps a break was needed, I found myself looking at my phone. Turning it over in my hand, touching the familiar surface, trying to resist the memories that wanted to bubble to the surface. The turtle shell pattern on the back was meant as a joke, a jab at our situation in the sewers. But everyone turned out loving it. It was a reminder of our identity. Like a team logo. It was another thing that brought us together. The tracking system that I installed in the bulkier shell design of each phone for everyone was just an added bonus.

Together…

Tracking…

Something clicked within my brain and I froze.

Maybe that was the key.

I sat there, immobile, leaning on the kitchen table as the idea trickled into my brain, filling in the empty spaces. It was a risky idea. There was just as big a chance that I could be discovered, if they still paid attention to it. Yet the idea seemed to be so juicy that I was having a hard time resisting.

Turning on the tracker. It seemed so simple.

Then I could see their locations, a definitive advantage. All the flaws of the plans I had come up with thus far seemed to be somehow related to my not knowing what they would be doing, where they were. But the nature of the tracker, is that since it was off, they couldn't see me and I couldn't see them. If it was on, then the reverse was true for both of us. But did they even look at it? They already knew that I turned it off, but if they still tried it from time to time, then they would be able to see me as clearly as I could them as soon as I flipped the hidden mechanism.

It was like exposing yourself to the prey, hoping that they didn't see you in plain sight. In a lot of ways it seemed incredibly stupid.

Oh, but Donatello…There were so many things I could do if I knew where they were.

Frowning, I turned the phone over in my hand, stroking my thick fingers over the metal scute where the mechanism was hidden under. It seemed so obvious, so easy. So risky.

I shook my head, closing my eyes. My fingers tightened on the phone.

Surely they didn't look at it.

After all, when I lived with them, I was the one to use it the most.

And they knew that I turned it off.

They had no reason to think that I would ever turn it on.

Or maybe this idea was so tempting because, secretly, I wanted to get caught.

Immediately I dismissed the idea. Of course not. Why would I want that? Then I would be separated from Sophia, surely. And I knew for sure that that was the LAST thing that I wanted.

That thought couldn't be doubted. After all, she was my everything.

I was just doubting myself for stupid reasons. Yes. That had to be it. I had so many plans fail in this process, I was just lacking confidence. They didn't look at it. This would work. I looked at the clock. Sophia was due back in fifteen minutes, and I knew that despite what she said about taking a break, that she would likely be expecting me to have something else pulled together.

Before I could change my mind, I grabbed my screwdriver, popped open the back, and within a minute I turned the tracker back on.

There. It was done.

Why, when I did this, did I feel so giddy and guilty at the same time?

llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

A/N: I would like to extend a HUGE thank you to sleepingseeker for soothing rattled nerves and helping me hash out how this chapter was going to go. It wasn't an easy process as I could see Don going either way with this. If you like dark stuff, check her out as well, she's the queen of it. The next chapter will be of his brothers. It is one that I've been planning for a bit and hope you like it. Please leave a review and let me know what you think of this chapter! Reviews are SUCH an inspiration!

PS: If any of you have ever read my Hangover: TMNT Edition comedy fic, and would like to see more of it, please feel free to send me a pm on it! I would like to get going on it again, but for some reason am having a hard time getting the motivation to put my ideas down on the keys. Thank you!