Twilight is not mine.
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Chapter 15
I can feel her breath on my neck…
She's right against me… I can feel her warmed; her scent is weakening my resolve.
Her hands trail down my abdomen, I feel the actions, but not what I would expect. The closeness of her is driving me mad. I'm hard, against my clothes. The dark pants I wear are tight around my groin area. I've never experienced so much lust –only with her. I feel her lips trailing down my clothed chest. Her warm breath dampening the cloth. Her hands move to the underside of my back. She is skin to what ever it is mine is as she pulls my shirt up. He lips touch me. She licks and nibbles. I'm in bliss.
I see the top of her hair and I brush my hands over her face when she looks up at me I see the whole of her eyes. Her smile is a sneer; her skin has turned gray, almost like if she was made of ash. As my pull back my hands abruptly from her. I see the color returning to her.
I close my eyes and take a deep breath and suddenly I feel the cold.
As I open my eyes I see her sitting outside still smoking...
I'm being punished.
I want it too much.
I know that I'm scared to do it. To leave her. To want her like I do.
I had been in this constant uncertainty for a long time now. I'm still undecided as to what to do.
I'm losing my mind, slowly but surely.
The clock marks midnight.
I see it in her eyes, as she glances inside.
She's been restless after that episode. I know something happened, I'm still not sure if she did it or almost.
I haven't tried again.
I'm stalling. I think that if I do it again she'll hurt herself.
The last time I actually got her to talk to me during that trance, the next morning she was so depressed that she tried to kill herself by cutting her wrights.
The only thing that saved her was the lady downstairs. The water started to filter thought the roof and she had a waterfall going down in her living room.
The supper had to replace the door, and she was rushed to the hospital.
They kept her for a month.
I couldn't see her.
Since I can never go into those places.
Those minds are too fragile, too accepting that it would become a mass suicidal wave.
So I stayed away.
Dreading the worse.
After a month, Alice came for her.
She knows not to touch her.
Her husband Jasper helped with the paper work and they lead my beautiful broken tainted girl to there home.
I had to only come to her during the night, since they have small children and several dogs and other pets.
I knew this before… I can be seen.
The mind has to be pure and good.
They accept me; they are open vassals to manipulate. I've never tried it. I don't think I can do it. I can barely touch her without having to take her.
So now that she's here, by herself. I see her looking over her shoulder to the new canvas on the corner. The corner where I usually sit while she sleeps. She's taken over it.
Is she trying to tell me something?
Am I not welcome anymore?