As she returned to her office, she cursed the fact that the proximal tubal occlusion had not had the wished-for impact, especially when she had had sex with two different men over the space of 24 hours. Karma was laughing uncontrollably as it was staring at her.
She thought back to what Stephanie had said. At how lucky in the end, she had been to get pregnant that easily. She knew that if she terminated the pregnancy that her odds of having more children were close to none, at least not without venturing out on a warrior's path to conception. If this child was Conrad's and he wanted kids with her, she would have lost the most amazing chance of being a mother. But if it wasn't Conrad's… then what?
One way of determining the paternity before birth was an amniocentesis, but she was at least ten weeks away from that and by then she would be showing, and she'd have only a couple of weeks left if she wanted to abort. All of which would bring up obvious questions from friends and colleagues.
It was a cornelian choice, and she didn't have the answer as to which to choose. Technically, it was her body, and she could get an abortion without having to inform Conrad. Due to patient-doctor confidentiality, Stephanie would never mention the pregnancy to anyone, so technically her secret would be safe, but she was no fool. She knew that the truth always came out at some moment or another.
Luckily for her a three-car pile-up had occurred late in the evening and she had spent a couple of hours in surgery, more than happy to keep her mind off her predicament.
She sat in the sofa watching an episode of The Good Doctor when Conrad walked through the door. He put his bag down at the bottom of the stairs, took his leather jacket off and smiled seeing that she was still up. Much to his dismay, his flight had been delayed and it was almost 11pm.
"You look nice and relaxed over there with Dr. Murphy," he said jokingly as he walked toward the sofa.
"Well, Dr. Melendez died, and you weren't here so I had to find an alternative."
He plopped down on the sofa and within seconds had taken her into his arms to hug and kiss her.
As he did so, he searched around for the remote control with his hand and once he had found it, turned the tv off.
Julia pulled back. "Hey!" she said faking a pout on her face.
"I'm here now and I'm not only going to give you my undivided attention but I'm not going to share you with Murphy!"
"Your undivided attention? And what would that imply exactly?"
He smiled.
"You, me, upstairs, skin on skin for the rest of the night."
She wanted to talk about children and what he envisioned their future to be like, but she knew it wasn't the time to have that kind of conversation. She was happy he was home; she had missed him and wanted the same thing he did.
The following morning as she showered, he joined her and as he talked about the couple of days he had spent with his father, she took the opportunity of family talk to bring up the subject in a casual way.
"Did you like being an only child?"
"No, not really. I loved spending time at my friend's houses who had siblings. They argued a lot but as they got older, they were there for one another, and I always envied that. When you are an only child, you face everything alone."
She nodded. There had been so many times over the past two years when she would have loved to call Jeremy and get his opinion or advice, even if he was younger. But she couldn't anymore. In this instance, she could hear him telling her to fess up, that sooner or later it would all come out in the open and living a life built on a lie was way worse than living a lonely life based on truth.
"I guess you want a bigger family than you had then."
"Oh absolutely. 3, maybe 4 kids."
She widened her eyes. That was a lot of kids, but at least it wasn't zero. Yet she felt an ache in her gut. Even if this baby was Conrad's and they decided to keep it, it could well be their only child, at least without going through medically assisted conception or adoption. And if none of those things worked out, would he be OK with just one?
"What about you?" he asked as he took the shampoo bottle in hand.
"Never really thought about a number but I know I want more than one. I may be old fashioned, but I'd like to think that mother nature somehow decides for you. I've known a few couples who wanted a lot of kids and never got pregnant and others who only wanted one and ended up with triplets."
He eyed her… no analyzed and scanned her, then tilted his head to the side and smiled.
"Do you want for us to have a family?"
She tried to play it cool and downplayed the situation, simply shrugging and hosing down the shampoo from her hair.
"We never really talked about it."
"No, you're right. After everything that happened and you working so hard on the trauma center certification, I didn't think it was the right to bring it up. I didn't want to add on more pressure."
She nodded. He was right, there had been a lot recently and work was busy, it wasn't the right timing for a baby, but then again with their career, would there ever be a good enough timing? She thanked him for having been so thoughtful.
"Having a baby together is a big decision," he continued. "We should make sure it's really what we want."
She narrowed her eyes.
"What are you saying exactly?"
"Starting a family together is a huge step in a relationship. It's not like we can have a child and then one of us can decide they're done, and we move on, apart. Which is why we need to make sure we are on the same page."
She bit her lower lip. Why was she getting the feeling that this whole discussion was a bad idea? If he doubted that much the next steps in their relationship, maybe they shouldn't be in one. Aside from the fact it was too early, she had always envisioned Conrad to be the father of her children. Maybe it wasn't reciprocated.
She was about to say something along that when her phone rang continuously. Whoever it was on the other side of the line, they were desperate. She grabbed the towel and wiped her hands as she leaned toward the bathroom counter to grab her phone and exit the shower completely.
"Talk to me Al."
She saw Conrad's face change in the mirror as she stood in front of it, holding the phone to her ear with one hand and drying off with the other. If Al was calling this intently and early on in the day, she knew it was important and work related. Hence why she cut to the chase immediately as she picked up the call. Conrad said nothing as he watched her, still listening to Nolan, exit the bathroom.
It hadn't been more than 5 minutes from the moment she had walked out and he in turn reached the bedroom, yet she was already fully dressed and putting her hair up in a messy bun.
She barely looked at him as he stood motionless a towel wrapped around his waist in the middle of the room.
"An emergency?" he asked.
"A small tourism plane has crashed, multiple victims. They are being flown in by helicopter and should be at the hospital in twenty minutes."
He walked over to the closet and grabbed his clothes.
"I'll drive you."
"It's OK. Al is waiting outside."
"That was quick."
"He was already here when he called," she said narrowing her eyes at his snappy remark.
Conrad frowned. "Why would Al be here already?"
"He was on the way to the hospital when Kit called him, and he wasn't far."
"Yeah, I get that, but I'm here."
She turned around realizing exactly where this conversation was headed, and she didn't like it. It always came back to Al, and it was slowly starting to sound like an old broken record. She wasn't stupid or masochist enough to spark things back up with Al. She had been there, done that and it had not ended well. In the end, Conrad was worried about Al, when it wasn't him, he should be worried about.
"Look, I don't give Al or anybody else an agenda as to where you are and when you get back. He knows you've been out of town, and I guess he wanted to spare me a drive to hospital."
"And an opportunity to drive you home!"
She closed her eyes then opened them angrily. "Conrad, enough! If you can't see past this, which is nothing, then it's not my problem. I have more important things to think and worry about than you constantly thinking that Al and I have a hidden agenda. And if it keeps being a problem then I think we need to reconsider where we are headed in this relationship."
With that she walked out of the room leaving him dumbfounded and speechless.