Author's Note: I apologize for the lack of Rick/Daryl in this chapter, that'll change soon.
When Rick finally arrived back at his mansion he found that Lori still wasn't home. Not that he cared really. Their marriage had never really been what he'd call happy, but they had been a team, if nothing else, they were a team.
At least that's what he thought before he'd dug through her closet and found the same cloak that he'd seen her wear when she left the Golden Blade brothel.
And now?
Now he didn't know what to think. Maybe he just didn't want to think anything anymore.
Maybe that was why he stumbled into the brothel; because it would be simple, fast, and, most importantly, thoughtless.
At least, that's what he was hoping for.
Unfortunately, all Rick could do since he left the brothel was think.
About things he really shouldn't be thinking about.
Namely, Daryl Dixon.
Rick had never known himself to be attracted to men, he'd wondered, certainly, but ever since he'd seen Daryl by the bar that night, he couldn't get the image of the man's biceps and narrowed eyes out of his mind, and when he'd declared himself a customer to Merle he was all too thrilled when Daryl appeared at the top of the stairs.
Rick sat himself down on his living room sofa, he didn't have it in him to make it up the stairs and down the long hallway to their bedroom, he'd only think about Lori in there, anyway. And that was one thing he wasn't willing to do right now.
After a few minutes, Rick laid back and tried his best to get some rest, though that idea was short lived since the front door opened and shut quickly, and footsteps made their way up the stairs and down the hall, towards their bedroom.
From Rick's spot on the couch he couldn't see who it was, though it wasn't difficult to guess. Lori had finally managed to find her way home to bed. She'd glide through the house and up the stairs as she always did and expect to find Rick in the bed, reading in his wait for her to get home, and she'd give some line about where she'd been all night.
Only tonight she'd find something different waiting for her on their bed.
A long, dark, blue velvet cloak would be lying in her spot.
Rick wished he could see the look on her face when she saw it, but then he realized he'd be better off not seeing her face, at least not seeing it in the foreseeable future.
It had been a few days since the fire yet the Golden Blade had been closed down by the fire marshal for reasons that Merle had described as "Complete fuckin' bullshit, goddamned bullshit excuse, fuckers!"
Apparently the fire's smoke had been seen by someone outside the brothel and a report was made to the fire marshal who was all too happy to shut it down. Merle always said the authorities in this town had it out for him, and to some extent that was true.
When the fire marshal arrived it was discovered that he'd invited along a health inspector, who wasted no time picking the place apart and pissing Merle off.
The health inspector had given him a list of regulations that Merle needed to abide by before the Golden Blade could be reopened. It seemed that the inspector wasn't too partial to the vast dildo collection that was stored in the basement beside the old furnace as well as the entire closet dedicated to the housing of bottles of lube that was 'not stored at the right temperature and could compromise the health of the customers' and the chest of condoms that he considered 'idiotically preserved,' whatever that meant.
And so, Merle did the only thing that Merle does. He half-assed the cleanup.
He forced Dale to drag the massive chest of condom boxes down the hall and to the lube closet where he was then told to switch the two. Dale organized the condoms by size, color, and even flavor for the edible ones.
As for the lube, well, barely half of it fit into the chest, so Dale became the lube delivery boy and brought boxes of the bottles to each of his housemates, he even got a tip from Shane, who slid a dollar between the older man's butt cheeks when he bent over to set the box down.
From Daryl, Dale received a "What the fuck is that?"
To which he replied, "Your new toy box, enjoy."
Lastly, the dildo collection had to be moved into a new room.
"No, no, no, no Dale, no way, they're not going in my room," Glenn had protested loudly when Dale made the suggestion. Glenn looked side to side nervously before he leaned down and whispered, "Do you have any idea what the governor will do to me with those things just laying around?" his eyes were open wider than Dale had ever seen them and it made him extremely uneasy. After a moment, Glenn snapped out of it, "Just, uh, just find somewhere else for them,"
"Somewhere else for what?" Shane asked as he stepped into the living room and fell back in the armchair, kicking his boot up on the coffee table.
"I, um," Dale cleared his throat, "I need to find a place for the dildos." He said plainly.
Shane laughed inwardly at the thought of Dale dragging box after box of dildos up two flights of stairs, "Just throw 'em in Daryl's room, he's gotta get used to being around dicks, anyway," Shane said.
"Fuck no," Daryl's voice rang from upstairs, " 'sides, I'm around you dicks all day, they ain't goin' in my room."
Shane chuckled to himself, "Daryl's all dicked-out, boys."
Dale sat back against the sofa as Shane spoke, "So, they ain't going in your room," he pointed to Dale, "or yours," he motioned towards Glenn, "they ain't going in Daryl's and they sure as shit ain't going in mine," he looked between the two of them, "so that leaves one person."
Dale and Glenn nodded before Glenn spoke, "I'll distract him but you make it quick." He told Dale.
Later that night Tyreese walked up to his room and flipped on the light, only to find that on every surface in his room were rows and rows of dildos. He just stared at them for a minute before Daryl came up behind him, "Merle told Dale he had to move 'em, you weren't around for the decision." Is all Daryl said as he walked by him.
As he tried to sleep that night, Tyreese thought of all the ways he could possibly get back at the old man, and when he did, he plotted of all the ways he could get even with the old man, and he came up with the perfect plan.
The next day turned out to be quite entertaining to say the least.
As they were all gathered round having a late meal before the Golden Blade officially reopened, Merle barged into the kitchen and looked at Dale with a furious gleam in his eyes, "You think yer funny, don't ya?" he asked, his voice raspy and low.
Dale looked like a deer in headlights as he stuttered, "Um, n-no, what-why?"
Merle grabbed Dale by the collar of his Hawaiian shirt and dragged him out front to the massive wooden desk. Merle let go of his collar and pulled one of the drawers of the desk open. Inside the drawer, at least ten dildos were scattered. Merle opened another drawer, and another drawer; they all held the same contents.
"Glenn, get yo' skinny yello' ass out here!" Merle shouted. Moments later, Glenn was there in the doorway. Merle smiled vilely at him, "The governor 'as been missing you, boy, he already made his appointment for tonight." Glenn cringed. "But, I say we give ol' Dale here a turn with our friend, hmm?" Merle said in a hum.
Dale's face went pale. "Get this shit out of my desk or I swear to God I'll tell the governor to take your old ass home with 'im when he leaves." Merle took a deep breath and looked to Glenn, "Let Daryl know to get ready too. He's got a customer coming in."
Glenn practically bounced out of the room and Merle headed towards the bar, leaving Dale alone and stared into space with a look of horror.
When Glenn made it back into the kitchen he sat down and smiled at his sandwich, "Daryl you have a customer coming." he said, still smiling awkwardly as he bit into his food with a look of pure bliss on his face.
Tyreese sat on the other side of the table trying to hold in his laughter as he heard Dale shuffling up and down the stairs, delivering the dildos back to his room.
He'd hear from Dale about this later, but for now he couldn't care less.