"Since when did we become escorts?" Tyreese asked in confusion as he stared down at the ticket in his hand that Merle had just handed to him and all the other housemates.

"Since our customers asked for 'em," Merle replied harshly. Tyreese swallowed his objections and looked back down at the ticket to avoid Merle's eyes. "Now y'all already have your dates lined up, tonight is strictly an escort, none of your customers wanted an overnight experience," Merle said as he focused on Shane, who had his finger stuck digging around in his ear. Merle rubbed his forehead, "Can't see why," he groaned as Shane picked something out of his ear and flicked it away.

Merle began walking towards the bar, "The ball is tomorrow night, now get yer ugly asses out of my face." He said just barely loud enough for them to hear him as he took a bottle off the shelf and grabbed a glass from under the bar.

Tonight there were no appointments, which was very rare. It wasn't for a lack of business, it was simply that as Shane had said, every blade needs a break to be sharpened. Or sheathed altogether, as it would be.

Even Merle understood this, so the Golden Blade was closed tonight, as it would also be tomorrow when all the housemates were off at the annual town ball, 'escorting' and what not.

The ball itself was nothing quite so grand, the venue was nice, certainly, with its ornate ballroom with marble floors and high ceilings painted intricately, but that was all that was nice about the ball. The people of the town showed up every year, mostly to appease tradition, but they stayed for the chance to gloat to their peers whilst consuming free food and drinks.

Of course, while the people all gloated of their perfect lives and their wealth and families and so on, there were always those who did not have much to say. The outsiders whom no one associated with, usually for good reason.

This year, instead of enduring the isolation, drinking in silence as well as abundance, and leaving at a premature hour, these outsiders decided to hire themselves escorts for the evening.

There were no repercussions that could sprout from their actions because anyone who exposed the escorts as male prostitutes would also be exposing themselves as patrons at the local whorehouse, and no one wanted that on their reputation. That was the entire reason Merle kept everything so confidential.

The appointments were made and details smoothed over.

It was official; the housemates were going to a ball.

The night before the ball some of the housemates found themselves quite busy, captivated with a plan they'd conjured up for a friend of theirs.

Tyreese, Glenn, and Dale all sat at the bar huddled closely together, whispering to one another. "Did you tell Daryl what time the meeting was?" Dale asked Glenn as he looked over to the stairs to see if Daryl was coming down the stairs.

Glenn nodded, "Yeah, I told him, he should be-" Glenn cut himself off when Shane stepped out of the kitchen and looked over at them.

"What the fuck are you pricks doin'?" Shane asked, more interested in the bottle of vodka they had opened than why they were sitting so closely together.

Glenn sat up straight almost immediately and avoided Shane's eyes suspiciously. Luckily for him, Shane's eyes were still locked on the bottle of vodka as he crossed the room towards the bar. "We're just, uh," Dale stammered, looking for an explanation, not that one was really necessary since Shane wrapped his hand around the bottle and turned away, "writing a grocery list." He finally spat out.

Shane laughed a bit to himself as he walked away with the bottle clutched in his hand, "Well, you might want to add some of this to your list 'cuz you won't be seeing it again." As he made his way upstairs, the remaining housemates glanced at each other with angry eyes.

Moments after Shane had left the room, Daryl stepped into it. He looked at the three faces staring at him and stopped in the entryway, wondering what the hell was going on.

Dale jumped up from his seat and rushed toward Daryl, who resisted his urge to punch the wide eyed old man who was rushing at him. "Daryl," the older housemate said in an enthusiastic whisper, "we have a plan!" He said as he clutched both of Daryl's arms on his hands.

Daryl squinted his eyes at the old man, "A plan for what?"

"To get back at Shane, of course!" Daryl looked between Tyreese and Glenn for a moment before he realized that all three of them were in agreement on this 'plan'.

Daryl turned and headed straight back up the stairs to his room.

Dale always came up with these little plans to get at Shane. Usually, they were just Dale's creations. Usually, Dale's plan backfired and ended up with him in some sort of trouble with Merle. Daryl didn't need another Merle encounter on his hands, so there was no way he'd be a part of this.

Dale was left standing in the middle of the room staring after Daryl. "So, should we…go ahead with the plan?" Glenn asked hesitantly.

Dale stood, staring up the staircase as Shane walked down the hall into one of the bathrooms. A dark glint came into Dale's eyes and he ground his teeth together. That slippery bastard Shane always found a way out of his plots, but not this time.

"Yes," he said in a darker voice than usual, "he needs a taste of our poison."

Glenn and Tyreese looked at each other as the both started cracking up laughing. Dale turned and looked at them defensively, "What?" he asked.

"Just," Glen said as he quieted, "don't do that again."

"Do what?" Dale pouted.

"Try to sound cool, just don't try." Glenn finished as he broke into another fit of laughter along with Tyreese.

"Shut up, let's just figure this out." Dale grumbled as he returned to his seat.

The next night turned out to be quite eventful for the housemates.

They were all dressed up in their best suits, which were rarely used, and as Merle put it, "All prettied up."

As promised, their dates arrived at their specified times. As anticipated, each of them was somewhat of an outsider. None of their names were terribly important, as they were not very prominent figures in the town.

Glenn's date arrived first, and it was immediately clear what made her an outsider. The aging woman, perhaps in her mid-forties was still quite beautiful. Glenn imagined that she might have been graceful, too, had she not already been completely falling down drunk.

As the two were departing from the Golden Blade, the woman tripped over her extravagant dress and ended up on the ground, where she proceeded to laugh uncontrollably and roll around until Glenn hoisted her drunken ass up.

Tyreese's date was the next to arrive, and at first it was a mystery to him why she would be considered an outsider. Then she broke down crying over her love of baboons. At one point she called them 'God's greatest creation'. By the time they had arrived at the ball, Tyreese was contemplating whether or not to find the bar and stick to it all night.

Dale's date was an adorable elderly woman, one with poise and grace. That is, until it was revealed that she began talking of her late husbands. All eleven of them. Who had all died in bed after a late night bottle of wine which the woman had insisted on having.

Dale made a mental note not to drink anything the woman handed him. Especially not wine.

Daryl's date was arguably the 'best' of them all. She was young and relatively attractive. She didn't burst out crying over primates or stumble through doorways, she was just…very affectionate. As the two were walking simply out the door, she decided that a good ol' ass grab was in order. Daryl once again resisted an urge to throw a fist.

There was no way it was a coincidence that he got the touchy feely one of the bunch; Merle set this one up on purpose. Daryl could already tell this was going to be a long night.

Shane's was the last to arrive, and once again it was apparent why the woman, who was maybe thirty or so, would be unable to find a date on her own. The woman's first words to him was an insult to his suit and tie, and then she broke out in a fit of curse words that spewed from her mouth uncontrollably.

Turns out that not only was the woman a rude shrew, she had terrets, too.

As they walked into the ballroom, she screamed, "BALL SHIT DICK LICK!" Shane's face reflexively fell into his hand as every single face in the place turned and looked at the woman. Glenn, Tyreese, and Daryl all tried to control their laughs as best they could.

Overall, the party was strange for the housemates. It was a welcome strangeness, because all of them appreciated a break from their usual nighttime activities, but the night was on the edge of going down as a good memory, or a horrible disaster that should never be discussed.

They each followed their dates around all night, and smiled quietly as they were introduced as boyfriends, husbands, and as Dale was introduced by his murderess quite jokingly, "my newest victim, oh, I mean husband." The other guests forced themselves to laugh with the woman, all while giving Dale pitiful looks.

The ballroom was full of people laughing, mingling, dancing, drinking, everything regular people do, and the housemates began to find it even more tiring than their usual nocturnal activities. At least with those there was an end in sight.

Eventually, Tyreese was able to sneak away from his date as she once again began discussing her passion for primates with some unfortunate partygoers. He gave her maybe two minutes until she broke into tears.

He ordered a whiskey at the bar and drank it quickly.

"Whiskey?" Glenn asked as he came to Tyreese's side at the bar. "I'll have one," he told the bartender quickly.

Tyreese looked up and noticed that Glenn was sweating. "Where's your date?" he asked.

Glenn looked at him and closed his eyes as he said as if it pained him, "She's taking a bath."

Tyreese's eyebrows shot up in disbelief, "A bath?" he echoed.

Glenn nodded and grabbed his whiskey as it was set before him, "That fountain beneath the staircase…?" Tyreese's eyes bulged and he looked toward the staircase.

The staircase was one that wound down in something of a curl, and the inside of the curl was decorated with a beautiful round fountain that fit perfectly into it. Tyreese began breathing heavily when he saw Glenn's middle aged date spinning uneasily in the water, her dress sopping wet as she drunkenly swayed to the music with a bottle in her hand.

The strange thing was, no one in the ballroom really seemed to care that there was a quite intoxicated woman dancing alone in the fountain, they made it seem like it was as normal as Tuesday following Monday.

"That's not the worst part," Glenn said after he'd chugged down his whiskey.

Tyreese looked back to him, "What could be worse than that?"

"The governor is here." Glenn didn't turn around, but pointed behind his back across the ballroom, "Right over there, standing with a woman who I assume is his wife." Tyreese followed Glenn's finger to see the governor staring blatantly.

Tyreese turned toward the bar as an unpleasant memory clouded his mind. "What the hell is he doing here?"

Glenn shrugged, "How should I know?"

"You don't think this will ruin the plan, do you?" Glenn shook his head and took the final sip of his drink.

"That guy never misses an appointment. He'll jump at the chance." Tyreese nodded.

"Well, that's comforting."

"What is?" Tyreese and Glenn turned to see Shane joining them at the bar. "I'll take the strongest thing you've got." He told the bartender as he rubbed his forehead.

"Nothing," Glenn said quickly.

Tyreese cleared his throat, "So, where's your date?"

Shane opened his mouth to say something along the lines of 'don't know, don't care,' but was interrupted by a woman's scream, "FUCK THE FUCKING FUCKERS!" He closed his mouth and pointed in the direction of the shriek.

"Right over there." He said tiredly.

"At least you'll never lose her." Daryl chimed in as he joined them.

"I wish I could lose mine," Dale mumbled as he, too, slipped in.

"Well, it seems like you have," Tyreese noted.

"Yes, but for how long?" Dale questioned. "This woman wants to kill me, I just know it."

For a few minutes the housemates reveled in having been rid of their dates. That is until Tyreese's gaze fell unto the fountain. He grabbed Glenn's shoulder and pointed towards it. "Glenn, your date-"

"Oh, shit!" he said as he ran off towards the staircase.

Glenn's date must've thought that the fountain would be the ideal place to take a nap, because she was passed out lying in the water, and no doubt drowning in her own stupidity.

Quite literally.

As Glenn ran over to his date, Shane pointed out to Shane that his own date had a man by the neck and was shaking him. All because he'd finally told her that no one wanted to hear about the mating rituals of baboons.

Tyreese ran off to stop his charge from murdering a man in the middle of the ballroom.

Speaking of murder, not a moment had passed since Tyreese left than Dale's had reappeared. She came to his side wide a glass of wine, no less. "Darling, there you are," she greeted warmly, "I brought you a drink." She pushed the drink into his hand and pulled him along towards the crowd.

Dale looked back at Shane and Daryl, begging for help. The two stared back without empathy.

Daryl and Shane watched as Glenn fished the drunk from the fountain, and Tyreese wrangled in his little monkey enthusiast as Dale tried to sneak dumping his wine in a plant.

By some miracle, the drunk was still alive and was giggling herself into a fit. The baboon lady was successfully thrown over Tyreese's shoulder and was now being forcibly removed from the room. Dale sadly, did not succeed in dumping his wine and had to drink it down.

"TIT PRICKS!" Shane's date screamed, "FUCKIN SHIT!" she screamed again.

Shane closed his eyes and regretfully crossed the room toward his date with the mouth of a sailor.

Daryl surveyed the crowd for a minute or two, wondering when his own date would act up or come to collect him to lie to everyone's faces some more, either that or grab his ass some more.

He didn't have to wait long, she was heading straight towards him now. She walked up to him with a wide smile and an overly friendly disposition. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss which he barely responded to.

When she pulled back she withdrew one of her hands from his neck and looked up at him questioningly, "Something wrong?" Something caught Daryl's eye, and he looked through the crowd to see a familiar pair of icy blue eyes staring back at him, watching as the woman that was draped over him reached down and cupped his crotch with her hand as she leaned into his neck.

Daryl jumped a bit and pulled the woman's hand away. "Why don't you stay here and have a drink," he said smoothly, "I need to use the bathroom." He moved her to the bar and left before she could respond.

When he looked back to the spot where Rick was, it was empty.

Luckily Daryl caught sight of him just as he slipped out one of the glass doors leading to the balcony. Daryl waded through the dance floor in pursuit of him.

Rick had never liked this damned ball, he hated it, in fact. Every year was the same, the people were the same, and the topics were the same; which yacht they took to which vacation spot, how well their businesses were doing, what investments they made, it never ended.

He hated coming to the damn thing, he really did. Usually, Lori was the one who insisted on them going. This year was different, though. Lori hadn't showed the least bit interest in going, and he couldn't say he much cared whether or not she was there.

When she'd officially told him she wasn't going was when he officially decided that he was. It was a good excuse to get away from the house as well as her without heading to the Golden Blade again. A good distraction was a welcome thing these days.

His solo arrival had mixed reactions from the partygoers.

The women were instantly set into predator mode. Rick was an influential, rich, attractive, charming, high ranking member of the community, of course they would salivate at any signs of discontent within his marriage.

The men were saddened by Lori's absence. She was quite a catch herself, at least where they were concerned. Lori usually had at least a half dozen men ask her for a dance, which she accepted because she loved to dance as well as the attention she got from the men she danced with.

The entire night had consisted of women asking where Lori was, then them showering him with halfhearted sympathy when he told them that things were not going well between them. All the while they each schemed of how to make themselves the next Mrs. Grimes, and the word 'divorce' had never even been mentioned.

When Rick had finally escaped from the near horde of women, he found himself amongst the crowd, mingling and remembering why he hated this ball. Rich pricks and spoiled women was all that was ever here.

That is, that's all that was ever here before tonight.

The first thing Rick noticed that was different was the woman who screamed obscenities as soon as she walked into the room. Rick nearly spat out his glass of champagne when he noticed it was none other than Shane escorting the woman down the staircase.

Minutes later, as he was still trying to hold in his laughter at his best friend being in such an unfortunate situation, he overheard a woman talking about how baboons' butt swell up when they've come into mating season.

Rick immediately recognized the woman, though he couldn't put a name to her. He knew her only as the woman who Lori called the ape lady, or something along those lines at least. It appeared not much had changed about the woman.

What was different though was the fact that she was not alone tonight. Rick stared at the tall, dark man she was with and chuckled when he made eye contact with Shane and shook his head at him.

At that point, Rick recognized the man as another attendant from the Golden Blade. Rick had seen him sometimes when he came to visit Shane.

After that, a small hope grew inside Rick that he'd see the man he'd been trying to avoid for a few night now. Not that he really wanted to be apart from him in the first place.

He must've circled the place two times, if not three, in search of Daryl. He came up empty for the most part. It was when he decided that a drink was in order that he finally found the man.

And then, he hated to admit it, he got spooked.

The whole 'careful what you wish for' is the only thing he could think of to try to explain it. Rick had wanted to see him here, but not with a woman, undoubtedly a client, kissing his neck and feeling him up in the middle of the bar.

So he turned away and headed to the only place he could think of to go; the balcony.

When he stepped outside, the cool night air calmed him a bit, but just a bit.

He walked to the stone railing and leaned on it as he thought. Daryl had other customers; that had been obvious from the beginning. Maybe he wouldn't feel so nauseous at the moment if she hadn't been so hands-on, but there it was.

Rick took a deep breath of the cool air and tried to clear his head. This was all just one big mistake. A massive, messy mis-

Rick heard the door open and close behind him and he turned to see Daryl walking slowly over to him.

Rick turned back to the lights of the town he was previously overlooking and tried to relax as the other man came to stand beside him.

Daryl made sure to keep a respectable distance, in an attempt to keep this as comfortable as possible, or really just anything but awkward.

"This party sucks," Daryl said, pulling a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and putting one between his lips.

Rick gave a huff of a laugh, "It's always like this." He said as Daryl lit his cigarette. Rick looked up the burning end.

"Want one?" Daryl asked.

Rick shook his head, "Nah," he said, "I quit a couple years ago." Rick bit his tongue for a few tense moments, trying to convince himself out of mentioning the woman from the bar. Obviously he failed because the next thing that came out of his mouth was, "Your date seems very friendly," he tried to make it sound like a joke, he even through in a short chuckle at the end of it and pretended to not much care for a response.

Daryl nearly cracked a smile; he saw right through that. "She's been being friendly with every man in there," he said before he took a long breath of his cigarette, "I'm surprised you haven't got felt up yet."

Rick genuinely chuckled at that. "Merle's got us on escort duty tonight," Daryl continued, feeling a sudden need to explain that he was not going to sleep with the sexual felon inside, "can't wait to drop her ass off and be done with this shit."

Daryl turned his back to the city below and leaned his lower back against the stone railing as he continued to smoke. "What, you're saying that woman in there had a handful of you in there and she's not planning on sleeping with you?"

"Nope," Daryl breathed out with a stream of smoke.

Rick lowered his head as he laughed. Daryl chuckled a bit; he hadn't thought about it like that.

All of a sudden, there was a screeching in the streets below. Daryl turned around and squinted his eyes as a screaming voice shattered the quiet of the night, "SLUTTY DICK WHORE!" Rick and Daryl could barely make out Shane's silhouette leading his date away from the building, but once they did, Rick couldn't breathe, he was so immersed in laughter.

Daryl laughed a bit, but thought of all the ways he could use this incident against Shane. "Was she calling him that or just shouting it out?" Rick asked as he regained himself.

"I think that time she was talking to him," Daryl said as he dropped his cigarette on the cement and crushed it under the sole of his shoe.

Rick and Daryl watched Shane and the woman until disappeared around the corner. Rick cleared his throat, "So, you're not working tonight?" he asked, kicking himself mentally for being so obvious about what he was really asking.

The tiniest of smirks tugged at Daryl's mouth. "You fixin' to make an appointment?" he asked.

Rick didn't say anything, he just smiled, mostly because he was trying to avoid saying it out loud. But it seemed that Daryl wasn't going to let him. "I was thinking about it." He admitted.

"You can come by and talk to Merle 'bout it, but," Rick's head turned quickly at the word 'but', "I wouldn't really consider that 'work'." With that, Daryl turned and headed back inside.

It took a minute of reviewing the words to realize what Daryl had meant, but when he did, he smiled widely.

Daryl made his way back inside just in time to see Glenn heading out with his date clinging to him as she tried to maneuver the stairs. Tyreese had most likely already left with his crazed ape lady and he'd just seen Shane depart, so that left only himself and Dale to account for.

Dale was on the far side of the room, and he looked like he was about to shit himself as he was handed another glass of wine by his homicidal faux wife.

Daryl spotted his date still at the bar. She cradled a champagne glass in her hand as she stared at a man's ass. He made it over to her just in time for a man to stand up in the middle of the room and tap a spoon against a glass to gather everyone's attention.

He cleared his throat as the room quieted. Daryl looked up to see none other than the 'governor' standing in the center of the dance floor. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen," he said, Daryl held in a laugh but couldn't stop the smirk from crossing his face, "if I could pull your attention away for a minute, Mayor Grimes will now give his annual toast."

Daryl's smirk fell as Rick waded through the crowd and took the place of the governor. He smiled at the people, and the people smiled back. He told a joke, of which Daryl heard none of, and the people laughed. He carried on and gave a speech, which Daryl again heard none of.

At the end of it, Rick raised a glass to another prosperous year with friends and family, or something like that, and the crowd applauded enthusiastically.

But the entire time, all Daryl could think was:

"I fucked the mayor."

Author's Note: Hope you all enjoyed! Thanks for the reviews/favs/follows!