Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is not my own, yadda yadda yadda. I'm not making any money off of this. (Though I wish I could.)
A/N: Thanks for the reviews guys! After not having written in a few years, I was surprised at how well received my story has been so far. It makes me want to write that much faster! If you guys have any constructive criticism, any suggestions, or just something you really want to see happen... Let me know! Thank you!
Thorins' voice was angry. His hand was on the hilt of an axe as he appraised me, his eye brows narrowing further the longer he looked at me. Gandalf rode a little closer and made a sweeping motion towards me with his hand.
"Thorin Oakenshield, son of Thrain, son of Thror, this is Sar-gent Conner, a friend of mine." Compared to Thorin's lengthy and impressive introduction, mine was lacking. I was momentarily bummed that Gandalf could not think of anything more impressive to say about me, but then realized that he had called me his friend. Whether or not he meant it, it was a sweet thing to say.
Thorin raised a brow ever so slightly and inclined his head towards me.
"Master Dwarf," I said, pitching my voice low and returning the gesture.
"What, may I ask, does a Man have to do with a company of dwarves?" He asked waspishly.
"Sar-gent Conner has uses, and I believe will be invaluable to this journey" Gandalf replied, rather vaguely. Thorin turned his attention to Gandalf.
"Such as your burglar?" He shook his head. "I allowed you to saddle us with a hobbit, of whom I doubt has his merits, despite your claims. I will not abide another stranger, particularly a man. They are just as untrustworthy as elves. The answer is no, Gandalf."
With that parting shot, he whipped his horses head around as if that was the end of the conversation and trotted towards the front of the company. I looked at Gandalf, who was frowning at the dwarfs back. After the untrustworthy comment, I made a choice that I hoped I would later not regret. I wracked my brain a moment to try and get my head around the syntax and vernacular of this time.
I nudged Grey-mane into a trot and quickly caught of with Thorin.
"Thorin…" He jerked his head at me and stopped his pony. I pulled Grey-mane to a halt next to him.
"Who are you that you address me so casually?" He snapped. I cleared my throat.
"Master Oakenshield," I corrected. His eyes narrowed and it seemed to occur to him that my voice was not as deep as it had been. I reached up and pushed back my hood. His eyes widened in surprise as he looked closer at the intricately painted pattern on my face.
"I am no man," I stated simply.
"By Durins' beard, it's a woman?" I heard someone gasp from behind us. Thorins jaw worked under his beard.
"And you think that would change my answer? Our company will not have dealings with you, friend of Gandalf's or no."
"I did not believe it would change your answer, sir. I was telling you the truth about who I am. You assumed I was male and I could have let you keep that assumption. I could also let you go on your merry way and part with you here and now, but I could not, in good conscious allow for that to happen. Not when I can offer my help."
Thorin regarded me silently for a moment.
"And how do you think, girl, that you could be of use to us?" He asked, emphasis put on girl. I grit my teeth at that. I knew he was stubborn and had his pride, but there was no reason to be rude.
"Now, look here, Sir Dwarf, I have been respectful to you and come to you offering my help. If you want to turn me down, that is fine. But you could at least do it with at least the smallest courtesy of addressing me in a more polite manner!"
His mouth snapped shut at that. I didn't know what dealings he had in the past with women, but I imagine he did not expect the little tirade that left my mouth.
"Very well, Sir-gent Conner," He said, his teeth clenched. As with Gandalf, he did not get the pronunciation quite right and I was too irritated to correct him. After all I had been through, I had no patience for it. "With all due respect, I would prefer not to have yet another complete stranger join our company. So, therefore, I *respectfully* decline you offer of assistance."
The 'with all due respect' part held so much sarcasm I was amazed he managed to keep a straight face. But not so much as a sneer graced his features, and I mentally applauded his sudden self control. Without waiting for an answer, he kicked his pony back into a walk and dismissed me. I clenched my jaw and looked at Gandalf. He was looking at me in askance, probably wondering why I had decided to reveal myself instead of remaining hidden. I shrugged my shoulders helplessly.
As the company passed me by yet again, I sighed heavily. Bilbo was the only one who offered a friendly, albeit confused, smile. Gandalf paused and I waved him on.
I waited a few moments before I started after them, keeping a dozen horse lengths between myself and them.
I caught many of the dwarves looking back at me, but I ignored the casual stares. After awhile, I could here soft conversation resume. Gandalf, after making sure that I was following, began to speak in soft tones to Bilbo.
I did not know how long we rode for. My attention span had been divided between studying the landscape and the dwarves. I took note of the way they rode and which weapons they carried. How they differed from their movie portrayals. One thing that surprise me was just how large they were. Okay, granted, they were short. But their builds were solid. Even Ori, who was rather slight in the movies, had broad shoulders and corded muscles.
By the time dusk had started to fall, Thorin had apparently grown tired of me trailing them. He called for his company to halt and break for camp, then rode back to me. He pulled up short and regarded me coldly.
"I believe I told you I did not want you apart of this company," He said in a low tone.
"I am not apart of your company, Master Dwarf. I haven't signed a contract, and I am not riding *with* you. I am merely riding in the same direction as you." I answered evasively.
"And where, Miss Conner, are you riding to?"
"Where ever Gandalf goes." I answered with a shrug. He narrowed his eyes and glared. It was something, I was finding out, he was very good at doing. His hand had moved to touch the hilt of his axe and I raised my hands.
"You would not hurt an innocent traveler who just happened to be following her only guide in this territory, would you?"
A mirthless laugh left his lips.
"Follow Gandalf at your peril, Lady Conner. I will not be held responsible for any misfortune that may fall upon you, nor will any of those in my company. You make camp on your own and you provide for yourself."
He stressed the word 'Lady', obviously assuming that I was weak, whether due to my gender or my race, I was not sure.
With that he headed back towards camp and I shook my head. I was becoming far too used to the sight of that dwarf's back already.
I childishly made a face at his back before heading a little father out. I dismounted and tugged off my bag as well as the saddle. I reached into my bag, grabbed my 550 cord after a moments search, and wrapped a noose around Grey-mane's neck. I tied it -securely this time- to a fallen tree. I didn't really think it would keep him from running off if he set his mind to it, but it would act like a deterrent, at any rate. I then removed his bridle and pat this neck. He lipped at my arm once the bit was out of his mouth and promptly started to graze. I smiled, already fond of the big beast.
I laid out my cloak and bag again, then began the never ending task of gathering firewood. Once I had some decent kindling and an armful of starter wood, I walked back to where Grey-mane stood, not surprised to find Gandalf standing there. He was stroking his beard thoughtfully.
"That did not go quite as I had expected," He said after a moment.
"Gee, you think?" I answered with a sarcastic laugh. "What did you think was going to happen?
"'Oh, gee, Thorin. I know how much you and your race distrust others, but here is this person who looks really weird. Let them join you on this sacred quest to regain your homeland.' I said, purposefully making myself sound old. Then I puffed up my chest as far as it would go and finished with as deep a voice as I could manage;
"'Oh, wise Gandalf. Of course I will take your council without question and I welcome this stranger I know nothing about into our company with open arms.'"
There was a moments pause where Gandalf frowned deeply.
"Well, Yes, actually." He answered simply.
"…..Oh."
He watched me after a moment before helping me start the fire. As with the night before, it appeared with little fuss the second I turned my attention from him.
"Why did you tell them you were a woman?" He asked after a moment.
"Because I am?" I asked, then shook my head. "He already has trust issues. If I let him believe I was a dude… er… a man… then I would be no better in his mind then any of the other 'untrustworthy' beings in the world." I answered honestly. Gandalf thought this over.
"How is Bilbo holding up?" I asked after a pause.
"He may be a Baggins, but he is also a Took. Part of him is absolutely terrified, the other is exhilarated."
It was funny, I had thought much the same earlier.
"He'll come around," I said softly. Gandalf nodded and brushed his hands off on his robe.
"Go on back to the dwarves. I'm just going to eat and turn in. Don't let the sneak bastards try to leave without me."
He chuckled softly at my words.
"Don't let Thorin hear you say that, my dear. I fear he has already taken a disliking to you."
"Was it that obvious?" I asked sarcastically under my breath. I watched the wizard walk back to camp before I plopped down. Using the baby wipes in my back, I began to carefully remove the makeup from my face. It was too much of a pain to keep fixing it, and every time I ate or drank, I could taste it. The dwarves knew I was a chick, now, anyways, so I guess it didn't matter. I did fix my hair, though, more out of habit because I was still in uniform then anything.
I took some time to eat another half of one of my MREs. I was down to three now and with Thorin's demand that I was to provide for myself, I wasn't really sure what I was going to do once they ran out. I knew some edible plants from home, but with my luck, I'd eat an innocuous looking berry and end up with the shits or dead. Given my present company, I was not sure which out come I preferred.
Dark was almost completely on us now. I decided I would gather a bit more wood before turning in. I stood up and brushed the crumbs off my lap before heading off in a likely looking area for firewood.
I had a small armload of wood in my hand when I heard rustling ahead of me. I crouched low, gently set the wood down and reached into my pocket. With a flick of my wrist, I unsnapped my knife sheath and pulled the k-bar from my pocket. I waited behind a bush, peering between branches in the direction the noise was coming from.
Two dwarves came from the brush, each carrying their own stacks of wood. I relaxed some and stood up slowly, slipping my knife back where it belonged. The two stopped short and starred, apparently not having expected me there. They cleared their throat. The taller one, who seemed even in the dark to have fairer hair, dropped his load of wood.
"Fili, at your service," He smiled winningly, bowing low. His darker haired brother immediately followed suit.
"And Kili," He followed, bowing just a touch lower than Fili. I smiled. Their light-hearted attitude had always made me laugh and I hoped that they would, at least, welcome me. If I could start with these two and work my way up, then maybe I could convince Thorin I would be worth keeping around.
"Talya Conner, at yours." I said, doing a brief bow with an exaggerated flourish. The two grinned back at me, their eyes roaming over my face and, occasionally, dropping a bit lower. Now that my face was clean, I was sure they were curious as to what I looked like. I wasn't sure how good their eye sight was in such dim light, so I didn't put their blatant stares against them.
"Tall-ya? I mean no offense, lady, but what happened to the Sir-gent bit?" Kili asked, curious.
"Its… just a title. Nothing of any real meaning."
"What sort of title, m'lady?" Fili asked, leaning down to re-gather the wood that they had hastily dropped to make introductions. I frowned, not really sure how to answer it without sounding evasive.
"Where I am from, I am a part of the military." They looked at me in confusion. "Ah, an army. Sergeant is just a title. A rank. And its Talya. 'My lady' makes me sound old and… Well, a lot more proper than I actually am."
They looked at each other. I had no doubt that they were dubious of my statement of me being in any sort of army.
"Well, Tayla it is, then," Fili said brightly. He cleared his throat a little, at a loss for what to say.
"Well…. Uh, sorry about our Uncle. He is a bit distrustful and blunt, but hes a good a dwarf as any I've ever met." Kili said suddenly. "If Gandalf trusts you, you can't be too bad, even for one of the race of Men."
Kili seemed to realize that this was a bit of a back handed compliment and he stammered for a moment. I laughed a little.
"Its alright, Ki…. Master Kili. I can understand your uncle's attitude. He doesn't know me from a hole in the ground."
"Fili, Kili. What in the blazes is taking you lads so long?" A sudden shout broke through the relative quiet of the evening. The two dwarves exchanged a look and re-situated their loads.
"Well, that'd be Dwalin bellowing." Fili said. "Good night, Lady Conner."
They inclined their heads to me and turned back towards their camp. I watched them a moment longer, then picked up my wood and headed back to my own space.
After tugging off my jacket and untwisting my hair, I set out my things for sleep and lay down, once again staring up at the nights' sky. I could hear the dwarves talking and moving around and, every once and awhile, laughing raucously. I felt terribly alone right then. At least at home in the army, I always had a battle, or a partner, with me, at the very least.
I glanced over at the dwarves' shadows and noticed Bilbos' lone figure off to the side of the camp. With a guilty sigh, I realized he probably felt just like I did. Alone and seriously out of place.
I stayed awake long into the night. When Gandalf had, at one point, come to check on me, I pretended to be asleep just so I could avoid talking. Long after the company had fallen silent and the wood began to burn low, I finally closed my eyes and slept.
I woke up drenched in sweat with the memories of the flood in my mind. I let out a few shaky breaths and took in my surroundings. It was early. Very early. The moon, which had started off fairly low in the horizon, was at the opposite end of the sky now. The soft thrum of crickets had not yet faded, and birds had not yet started to stir.
I knew I should try to get more sleep while I could, but after a few moments of lying back down with my eyes closed, I knew it was useless. I sat up and slowly set about pulling my hair back up. I tugged my jacket on and pulled my cloak around me, feeling a chill in the early spring air. I took a swig out of the canteen that was hanging off of my sack and stood.
I crouched down near the fire and began to poke at it, adding what was left of the bits of wood I had gathered later in the evening. Once I had coaxed a small flame to life, I stood again and stretched. I picked up the remnants of my meal last night and once again ate it cold.
After eating and drinking my fill, I headed a short way off to relieve myself. Once I was done with the call of nature, I headed back towards my camp. Feeling eyes on me, I paused and glanced up. I saw the shape of a dwarf on the outskirts of their camp and, in dim light of the moon, I could barely make out the features of Thorin. I hesitated for a brief moment before turning away and going back about my business.
It wasn't long before the dwarves were up. They, too, ate their breakfast and packed up their camp. Everyone remounted shortly before dawn, and we all began to pick our way through the wilderness.
The next few days passed much the same. I stayed off to myself, riding behind the company a decent distance. Gandalf made an effort to talk with me, and even Bilbo had offered a few words of greeting and pleasantries, much to the obvious distaste of a few of the older dwarves. Each night, I made my camp in the not too far distance, and each morning I gathered my things and headed out with them.
One the morning of the fifth, day, however, things changed. We all broke camp and headed out as usual, but that is where things changed. I heard Thorin speak, though with the distance between myself and them, I could not make out the words. I saw him glance at me, though, and I wondered what was going on.
It didn't take me long to figure it out. After walking a fair pace, the company broke out into a trot, then straight into a gallop.
"Alright, Grey-mane. Lets go," I said. It took me a moment to get him to comply, but soon we were headed off at a light gallop. With the horses legs longer than the ponies, it didn't take much for me to catch up with them, despite the small head start they had. After riding for days, my legs were sore and the constant bouncing was not helping matters. I was glad, at least, that my girl's were bound up. Having them bounce all over the place would have made the experience that much more frustrating.
The dwarves pushed their ponies faster and I realized something that had not occurred to me before. Grey-mane, even with his long legs, was a horse that Edmund had let his kids ride around on. He was not used to such a grueling pace and it was obvious all too soon that he was tiring. Even Dreysill, Gandalfs' horse, was holding up better, despite being a draft horse. His strong muscles were used to the workout. The dwarves ponies were short and stocky and while they did not move terribly fast compared to the full out stride of a horse, their stamina was impressive. Sweat had barely begun to break out on their sturdy little bodies long after Grey-mans speed began to flag.
We began to fall behind further and further. Gandalf turned back to us and slowed to a trot as he broke even with us. I let Grey-mane slow to a walk.
"Go on Gandalf," I said, winded. Anyone who thought horse-back riding was not exercise was seriously mistaken. I was out of breath and I could already feel the burn in my thighs.
"Nonsense. I will stay behind with you. I do not know what haste has suddenly been thrust upon Thorin, but no doubt he will slow soon."
"I'm pretty sure I know," I said, leaning over slightly and exhaling loudly. "He's being a jerk and trying to push me. He doesn't like that I'm still following, so he figures if he makes me uncomfortable and makes things difficult, I'll just leave."
"You sound like you know this from experience." Gandalf said thoughtfully.
"I do. I was in the army. Our uh… leaders did this all the time. They tried to push us to our breaking point. So go, Gandalf. I'll catch up. I'm not a tracker, but even a blind man could follow the trail they are making."
He watched me through slitted eyes and nodded a few times, as if deciding something. He turned Dreysill around and quickly urged the horse into a gallop.
I was sweating my ass off, as was poor Grey-mane. I grit my teeth as I watched Gandalf ride off towards the rapidly disappearing company. Even Bilbo was fairing better then me, it seemed, with his sturdy little pony, since I did not see him lag behind once.
"That jerk. We'll show him, right Grey-mane?" I dropped the reins momentarily and readjusted my things. I shifted and repositioned myself in the saddle before urging Grey-mane into a walk. Once I was sure he had recovered his wind, we broke out into a canter. It may not be as fast as a gallop, but at least Grey-mane wouldn't tire as quickly.
We caught up with the dwarves before they made camp and I saw Thorin turn back to glare. Fili and Kili tried to hide their smirks, while the rest, save for Balin, who offered a small smile, seemed less then impressed. Bilbo and Gandalf both smiled heartily upon my arrival and I smiled back, trying not to appear as tired as I was.
Once we broke camp, thankfully near a stream, I tugged off Grey-mane's tack and allowed him free rein. He promptly stepped into the river and stood, spread legged, as he gulped and blew at the water. I joined him and, out of sight of the dwarves, washed what I could easily reach quickly. I refilled my canteens which had began to run perilously low, and set about scavenging. I had spread my meals as thin as I could, but I had finished the last one that morning, save for a packet of crackers and some peanut butter.
"Those are edible," I heard a soft voice behind me as I looked critically at a berry bush. I turned to find Bilbo standing behind me. "They are a little bitter now, since they are not quite ripe, but they make a decent jam."
"Oh. Thank you." I said, not really sure what else to say. I popped one in my mouth to find that they were indeed bitter, but tolerable. I set about gathering some in my cover I had pulled out of my ruck and after a moment, Bilbo joined me.
"Are you alright on food?" He asked after a minute. Not wanting to admit that my rations were low, I forced a smile.
"Yes. I just get tired of eating the same thing all the time." I answered. He nodded.
"Understandable. We hobbits generally eat six or seven meals a day. Fruits, vegetables. Pork. Beef. Chicken. Sweet pies and pastries. Finely aged cheese…." He sighed wistfully. " However all the dwarves seem to eat in the wild is stews, salted pork, and dried meats and cheese."
I smiled and continued to pick until my cover was full. Bilbo spoke up suddenly.
"Those mushrooms there you can eat too. Very good served up hot with melted butter. Don't eat the ones with the black tips, though. They'll make you right sick. And there," He pointed at a small green shoot with very particular shaped leave "Is a wild carrot. Starchy, but not bad. The ones with the light green leaves tend to be a bit sweeter."
"Why are you helping me?" I asked, pausing to look at him curiously. "No doubt it will make sir Oakenshield pissy. Uh. Upset." I amended.
"Because… You seem to feel just as out of place as I do. Only difference is… Well… I'm a part of the company, whether they really like it or not. You are not. But still, you follow behind. You offered your help. And that… that deserves some sort of recognition." He shrugged and fell silent, seeming to have surprised himself with the words. He wasn't the only one. My chest was a little tighter than I cared to admit.
"Thank you, Master Baggins." He smiled at me brightly, and we continued on for awhile, him pointing out different edible objects. By the time night had truly fallen, I had myself a veritable buffet of wild food.
The next day was the same. Thorin broke the company out into a fast gallop shortly after we set out, and again we lagged behind. We managed to catch up just before dusk.
The third day, we managed to catch up as camp was being set.
The fourth day, it was well into night when Grey-mane and I trudged into camp. The dwarves had been laughing and eating merrily when one by one they fell silent. I was in a foul mood and did not bother to look at any of them as we passed by them. I was exhausted and beyond sore. The food I had gathered was gone and to top it all off, my stomach was in agony from the straight fruit and veggie based organic diet. My digestive system was revolting, and I had found myself stopping frequently on our ride to relieve the burning pain in my gut.
That night, I did not bother to set up camp. I tugged Grey-manes' gear off and promptly plopped myself on the ground where I quickly succumbed to exhaustion.