And here we go! Going to be a little Angst-y fyi.

Harry stood outside Dumbledore's office, but didn't move to go inside. He didn't want to face the man and his wrath over what Harry had done. He also didn't want to stay out here and try to deal with his emotions because he didn't want to even feel right now.

Sunday, he had dodged around the entire castle avoiding everyone and now Monday he had been spending all of that day barely concentrating on his school work. He had been unable to perform to his best of ability in Defense and Snape had started to call Harry to his desk to discuss this when Harry had bolted from him and hidden in the Owlry. In Potions, he had made several mistakes and asked to go to the Infirmary as he was feeling off that day. Slughorn, looking very concerned, had permitted him, but he hadn't gone to the Infirmary, but instead had gone into Moaning Myrtle's bathroom to sulk.

A large part of him didn't want to be alone right now, but there was a smaller, stronger part of him that forced him into isolation. He couldn't work out his feelings. So many warred within him: fear, anger, uncertainty, concern, sorrow, and an anxiety he had never felt before in his entire life. He didn't know what to do and his mind kept replaying in his head, not the Gryffindor girl being cursed and not him being attacked by the Marauders and their friends, but Theodore's bloodied and bandaged wrist. He had been sick every time he thought about that instance and he crouched on the floor trying to ease the churning of his stomach. Why was guilt mingling into all of this? It wasn't his fault this was happening!

Or was it?

This was another thought that tailed him throughout the two days. Had he been that terrible a friend? Had he not said or done the right things? Had he not been there enough for Theodore? Then he had started feeling accusatory because the guilt was too much to handle. This was Theodore's fault! This was his problem! Why did have to go and let Harry see it? Why couldn't he have let Harry remain blind to it? This wasn't something Harry wanted to see! He didn't need to feel or think like this! Guilt washed over himself again at these thoughts and he hit his fist into the door hard, anger lashing out.

This wasn't fair. Theodore was being selfish. He had to have known how Harry would react to this. He had to have known it would hurt Harry as much as taking the knife and using it on Harry's own skin. This wasn't fair.

It wasn't fair to Theo either, though, was it? What had driven him to this point? Why was he doing it?

Harry gulped in breath, shaking. He needed to get into Dumbledore's office before he thought about it too much again, but he couldn't move. He didn't want to go inside. He didn't want Dumbledore to be mad at him right now. He didn't want him to suspect Harry was upset either because then he'd wonder why and Harry couldn't answer. It'd be a betrayal to Theodore because it wasn't his place to say...but he wanted to tell someone and who better was there to tell than Dumbledore? He couldn't keep this to himself! He couldn't tell anyone either...

The door opened and he looked up, startled, to see Dumbledore standing there staring down at him over his glasses. "Come inside, Harry."

Not arguing, Harry walked inside and went straight to sit in the chair without bothering to ask or think about what it was they would be doing. Harry didn't want to look through memories today. He could care less about Voldemort's past right now.

"Butterbeer, Harry?" Dumbledore offered and Harry, not questioning why, took the beverage, but didn't drink it.

Dumbledore took his seat in the throne behind his desk and sipped at his own drink while giving Harry a long stare. He eventually sighed and set his drink down and folded his hands on his desk.

"Harry..."

"I didn't mean to." Harry blurted quickly. "It just slipped out!"

"Well, to be honest, Harry, I don't think it really did." Dumbledore gave a smile, but the emotion did not reach his eyes.

"I...it...being in...in Slytherin..."

Dumbledore held up his hand. "Professor Snape has already told me what he believes to be the reason and I quite agree with him. Being in Slytherin means use of this term is inevitable, but this does not mean it should go unpunished."

"I already have two weeks' worth of detention and I've lost two Hogsmeade visits and lost sixty points for Slytherin! There isn't much more that I can be punished with!"

"I wasn't going to punish you more, Harry."

Harry swallowed, but didn't say anything.

"I have actually talked with both Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape and they quite agree they were too harsh on you, considering you were just attacked and accused of something you did not do."

"You believe me?"

"All of the staff believes you."

"Oh..."

"I have reduced your detention to two days to be spent with Hagrid, who could use this time to talk to you as I know he, like many of us, really wants to talk to you and likely you will not give him the chance." Harry didn't complain as he was glad he had lost so much detention time. "I have also returned the fifty points McGonagall took as I thought it was unfair."

"It was unfair!" Harry cut in. "She didn't punish the Gryffindors who attacked me at all!"

"She did, actually." Dumbledore corrected him calmly. "She took from each of them twenty points, which totaled to about 140. Of course, she did the same to the Slytherins as they were still hexing and jinxing fellow students. These points I returned."

"You gave us our points back?"

"I didn't give them all back." Dumbledore explained. "As they were indeed still hexing and jinxing other students, but they did something incredibly admirable and so incredibly admirable that I believed they deserved to be rewarded for it instead."

Harry straightened in his chair. "What?"

"You said you lost two Hogsmeade visits?"

"Yes."

"I am only giving you one of those visits back, the one that Professor Snape took, but I have a special treat for your Slytherin class. You will all be given a Hogsmeade visit none of the other students will be able to attend. I think this is a just reward."

Harry's mouth was open in awe and respect and shock.

"Now, I hear you will be taking Occlumency lessons again with Professor Snape?"

"I don't know what he's thinking!" Harry fidgeted. "There's no way I can keep up with my school work, lessons with him, Quidditch practice, and these lessons with you."

"I thought the same." Dumbledore nodded. "But I also think Professor Snape has a good point. You are good at Occlumency and Legilimency and these are good skills to learn. While it would be conflicting with schoolwork and lessons and practice, I think you should still attend them. I have already spoken with him about these lessons and made arrangements for you to begin them every other week instead of every week as I believe this would be too much. They will be on Wednesday nights, no exceptions. Your first lesson will be next week. Understood, Harry?"

Harry sighed, feeling his energy being sapped from him. "Yes. Understood."

"Finally, we are coming to the subject that I had wanted to begin when I first began this conversation, Harry." Dumbledore gave a small smile, but Harry's gut lurched inside him. "Both Professor Snape and Professor Slughorn have told me you were acting very odd today, unable to concentrate and unwilling to talk about it. Professor Slughorn sent you to the Infirmary, but when he went to check on you, found you were not there and you hadn't even bothered to go."

"I started to feel better as I walked there, so I went to work on homework in the library."

"Ah, yes, both professors thought perhaps you were in the library, hiding from them, but they talked to Madam Pince and she said she hadn't seen you all day."

"She must have been somewhere else in the library at the time." Harry muttered, ears reddening.

"So they thought, but then Professor Snape was contacted by a particular ghost who seemed quite devastated because you were crying in her bathroom."

Harry didn't respond, too angry at Moaning Myrtle to think of anything to say.

"This brings us to the question, 'What is wrong, Harry?'"

This was exactly where Harry didn't want to be. He would have preferred for them to have made it through the above and then moved on to his lesson, but apparently Dumbledore had other plans. Squirming uncomfortably in his chair, Harry finally brought the butterbeer to his lips and drank it all in two gulps. A dizzy sensation filled his head as what felt like a punch hit his stomach. He slouched and put the empty tankard on the counter.

"I'm just a bit overwhelmed with...what happened on Saturday." Harry wasn't exactly lying, but he was definitely avoiding Dumbledore's eyes and trying his hardest to clear out all of his emotions.

"Well, I'm sure Miss Bell being cursed and you getting the blame and being attacked by so many students would be a bit overwhelming even without the punishments added on top of it all." Dumbledore gave a pleasant smile. "But we both know that isn't the only reason why you were overwhelmed."

Harry closed his eyes, willing away his emotions and thoughts and hoping against all hope that he didn't start blurting away what was on his mind.

"Things are just...stressful right now."

"In what way?"

"I'm...it's just...Theo and I aren't always on good terms." Harry, eyes open again, decided it was best to tell at least some of the truth. "And we got in a fight Saturday before...that happened."

"But he still came to your defense." Dumbledore put in. "In fact, he led the resistance. He was the one firing off the most hexes and jinxes and commanding the other Slytherins. I know you were a bit preoccupied with bats around your face..."

"How do you know this?"

"Each student involved has given testimony to what happened that day. As there were many people involved, we were able to piece together a good picture, that is, Minerva, Severus, and I."

"Great..."

"And it was Theodore who came to your aid."

"He..." Harry didn't know what he was going to say, but he stopped, trying to reorganize his thoughts. "I don't know what to think. There's too much."

"There's too much?"

"Yes." Harry crossed his arms. "There's too much going on."

"What's going on?"

"I don't know."

"But than how do you know it is going on?"

Harry opened his mouth then shut it.

"Harry, you do know you can tell me anything and I will do my best to assist you?"

"I don't think you can help me with this."

"You won't know until you tell me."

Harry stood. "Are we going to have a lesson or not? Because if we're not then I'd like to go. I have a lot of homework to catch up on."

Dumbledore's eyes watched Harry for a long moment and then he nodded. "We will begin our lesson now, but only if you promise me that you will tell me what is wrong afterwards."

Hesitation took over Harry and he stood there, quivering and uncertain. He needed to learn these things about Voldemort so he could fight him better, but what about betraying Theodore? He couldn't do that to his friend.

"I'm sorry, Professor." Harry whispered. "I can't."

And he left the office without further word.

Harry was asked to Dumbledore's office the following night and he complied. He had managed to put his emotions into the back of his mind, unwilling to deal with them now. Theo hadn't even tried to converse with him today, for which Harry was grateful. When he arrived in Dumbledore's office, he was fully prepared to leave if he had to, but found that Dumbledore merely wanted to show him the memory of when he first met Tom Riddle. Afterwards, he let Harry go, reminding him that he had detention tomorrow night and the following night with Hagrid.

Detention with Hagrid turned out to be exactly as Dumbledore had said it would be: the man wanted to talk to Harry about what had happened, in particular about his use of the word "Mudblood". He didn't seem mad, but concerned and he did his best to be understanding as Harry explained the story for another time. By the end, he was apologizing for the Marauders' behavior (Harry said it wasn't his place to apologize for them) and telling Harry that he was glad he had such devoted friends in Slytherin. Being reminded about what the Slytherins had done for him, Harry realized he'd been a bit of a prat to them and the following day set about thanking each of them personally, even Theodore.

"Surprised you're talking to me." Theo responded coolly as they stood alone in a corridor. "Thought you were mad at me."

"I am." Harry whispered. "I am a lot of things at you right now."

"Well, considering your emotions tend to rule your thinking..."

"And what's this then?" Harry motioned towards Theo's wrist, which was hidden beneath his the sleeve of his robe. "That can't be logic."

Theodore stiffened and drew his arm a fraction back. "Now you want to talk about it?"

"To be honest, I don't ever want to talk about it." Harry couldn't keep the emotion from entering his voice. "I never thought I'd have to talk about something like this. I'd much rather face a dragon or...or You-Know-Who than deal with this!"

"If it means so little..."

"It means too much." Harry snapped. "I don't know how...I don't know what to feel right now. I don't know how to handle this. You have no idea...I...this is ridiculous."

"Is it really?" Theo's tone had been cold.

"Not in that sense!" Harry amended with a gasp. "How did you think I'd react to seeing that? Did you think I was going to be okay with it? Did you think I was going to say, 'Oh, well, that's your choice. Keep h-hur...keep doing it. It doesn't bother me.' What kind of a heartless..."

"Didn't think you'd see, to be honest. Didn't want you to."

"If you didn't want me to see it than you shouldn't have done it!"

Theodore's eyes glinted with sudden malice. "Selfish as always, Potter."

"Oh, you think I'm being selfish?" Harry gaped at his friend. "That me not wanting you to...to do that to yourself is me being selfish?"

"Are acting as if this is against you."

"You think it isn't?" His voice had risen and with it the anxiety began to show. "You think that doing that isn't an act against me? What the bloody HELL?"

"Harry..."

"YOU DON'T GET IT, DO YOU?" Harry shouted. "I LOVE YOU AND YOU THINK THAT DOING SOMETHING LIKE THAT WILL JUST ROLL OFF MY SHOULDERS? I AM NOT YOUR FATHER!"

Theo was staring at the ground and Harry was about to start talking again when they were interrupted.

"For the love of peace and quiet, what is this shouting about?" Snape was walking down the corridor towards them, looking incensed, but this look disappeared the moment he saw them. "Oh, fantastic. You two are fighting again."

"Will take it someplace else." Theodore replied calmly.

"Please, do." Snape snarled and with his wand spelled a door open. They slipped inside and the door shut.

Silence rang between them and Harry was nervous to break it, but knew it'd have to be him who spoke first.

"Why?" He croaked.

"You wouldn't understand."

"You don't know that."

"Maybe I do." Theodore's look was chilling. "It's not something you'd understand."

"Than at least tell me why, so I know."

"I can't." Theodore shrugged. "Wouldn't know how to explain it."

Harry sat down, legs numb and head spinning. "This isn't fair."

"To whom?"

"To either of us." Harry croaked. "Is it my fault?"

"No."

"Than whose?"

"Does it have to be anyone's?"

Harry looked at Theodore suddenly at a complete loss. Theo, initially startled by the look he was given, composed himself and moved to sit beside Harry on the bench, an arm resting around the shorter Slytherin in what Harry was sure meant to in comfort, even though it still felt oddly cold.

"It won't happen again." Theodore whispered in what sounded like his first promise. "Was a mistake. I'm sorry."

So much relief flooded Harry that he could feel the tears edging over his eyelids before he even knew he was about to cry. Not wanting Theodore to see, he turned into the other boy's chest and hid his face there. Theodore, awkwardly, embraced him, stroking his back reassuringly. They stayed like this for an immeasurable amount of time, Harry feeling weaker and more helpless than he had ever felt in his whole life.

When they broke from the embrace, they didn't say anything, just gave insecure smiles and left the classroom to continue their day.

A few days later, Theodore's bandage disappeared, replaced by tight long sleeves, no doubt to cover up the remnants of what he'd done. Harry didn't bring it up again.

And this took a really long time to write. I was distracted...by puppies :D I might be getting one! Wish me luck!