**Sorry it took so long to update. I haven't found a lot of free time to write all week and then I couldn't get this chapter to come out right. I'm not completely happy with what came out, but I can't do any better right now. And a big thank you to you all for the awesome reviews of the last chapter. Glad you liked it. Hope you like his date day too. **

October 13…4pm

We're currently on our flight back to Trenton and I'll be honest, I was feeling kind of anxious about going home. We've only been gone for ten days, but in a way it feels like a lifetime. So much has happened to me since we left, that I'm not the same woman anymore. I don't think Ranger's the same man either. And we certainly aren't even close to being the same couple we had been. Everything has changed.

It was probably nerves or something, but I got a little nauseous thinking about settling back into the old routines. Not that they were bad routines, but it's been nice not to have all the added stress of the outside world imposing on us. There was no work, no phone calls, no doctor appointments, and no reminders of my nightmares. It was just us. Now we have to let that all back in and it's kind of scary.

I know being alone with Ranger has been the greatest experience of my life, but I wonder if it was sort of like living in denial again. I could pretend it was just the two of us out there, but now I have to face the rest of the world again. And I enjoyed our time away so much, I didn't allow myself to think about it ending. It was just suddenly over and it left me wishing we could go back and be together like that forever. Just us. No interruptions. No distractions. No reminders of the past. But we can't.

And maybe I still don't think I deserve him, his love, or this wonderful life we've started to carve out together? I just don't know. But all I could think about is Tank and the guys getting angry at me because Ranger wants to change his role in the company. I worried about my family's reaction to my news. I worried about telling Lula about last night. I wondered if she'd judge my decision. I even worried that Dr. Westin would tell us we're fools to think we could have more together.

I know, I spend too much of my time worrying about what other people think of me and my actions. At the cabin and to an extent in Boston I didn't have those worries. I lived for me, for what I wanted, and for what I needed. The only other person that mattered was Ranger. I liked that feeling. It was freeing. I want more than anything not to lose that. And I was going to try my best not to.

I know I was just second guessing things for no better reason than my own mental issues. And I know I can't expect them to go away overnight, but it's kind of frustrating when I want them to. But it'll get better. I'm still working through those things with Dr. Westin and I have Ranger to help me with it too. I know he won't give up on me no matter what. Plus, it's probably a good sign that the anxiety isn't overwhelming. I'm not even close to panicking. And I don't feel hopeless. Just uncertain.

And maybe that uncertainty will go away when we get home, just like my uncertainty about going to Boston did. I had a similar worries about leaving the cabin Saturday, but as soon as I got to Boston I found the worry was completely pointless.

Seeing the guys in Boston was fine. Being out in public was fine. We were still the same people that left the cabin. Ranger didn't close himself off or withdraw like I feared he would. And I didn't have that social anxiety of mine set in. No one seemed to judge us or intrude on us at all. I was comfortable in Boston, because we were together. I guess I just need to see for myself that Trenton will be okay too.

I have to believe it will. I can't let the worry pull me under any further. I don't want my own issues to ruin what we found together. I'm prepared to put the work in and fight my own demons for our future. And if by some chance the world really does go crazy over our relationship, then I'll just have to fight that too.

I'll be strong. I'll stand by my decisions. I'll go after what I want. I'll be with the man I love. There is no other acceptable option for me. There is no other life I want. Nothing will stand in my way. Nothing, not even this fear of being happy, of being afraid I'll lose everything and go back into that darkness alone. Nothing.

Ranger has shown me how strong he is. He's fought so long and hard for us. He's shown me everything he is. He's given me everything he has. He wants to share himself with me for the rest of his life. And I want to do the same. I'll never stop fighting the things inside me. I'll keep getting help. I'll take the medicine. I'll go to every help group I can find. I'll exercise ten hours a day if it'll help. I'll do anything but give up because of some worry or doubt. I can't, especially after yesterday. I made promises to him and I never intend to break them. Ever.

Yesterday. It was the best birthday I've ever had.

I was skeptical when he told me he wanted a day in the city to unwind before going back home, but I agreed. I was comfortable enough at the apartment in Boston last week that I didn't mind staying there again, plus I figured it'd delay our return to real life a little.

I wasn't expecting anything spectacular. I figured we'd just go out for dinner to celebrate my birthday or something while we were in town. And we did, sort of. But it turned out that he had the whole day planned for us and it was so much more than dinner.

From the time I got up the entire day was about me. He let me sleep really late, then woke me with brunch in bed. Unlike the one at the cabin, this one I ate. Then I got Ranger for dessert.

He really, really knows how to wake a woman properly.

After I was thoroughly awakened, we lounged in bed for a few more hours just enjoying each other. Then he sent me off to the shower, with a giant bottle of Bulgari that was wrapped with a bow. I'd complained about it missing last week. I guess it was just something Ella stocked in Trenton and he'd never thought about buying it himself before. Anyway…Boston has a bottle now and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

It was like shower bliss. The only way it would have gotten better was if he'd joined me, but he didn't. In fact, he wasn't even in the apartment when I came out of the shower.

When I returned to the bedroom, wrapped in my towel, I found a large gift box lying on the bed. I opened the attached card, it just read, This is for today. Since it was my birthday I tore into it excitedly. Inside was a soft, black sweater dress. It was a beautiful dress and by the looks of it, it meant he was taking me somewhere nice. Again, I figured dinner.

I took extra care with my hair, arranging it into a sexy, messy bun. Then I pulled the dress on. It looked even better on me than it did in the box. The flared skirt ended just above the knee, with the only adornment being the intricate stitch design that boarded the hem. The sleeves were three quarters length with little ruffles around the cuffs that matched the tiny ruffle around the slightly rounded neckline. It molded perfectly over my shoulders and breasts almost like a second skin, almost like it was made just for me.

It was simple and elegant, a style that I knew Ranger likes on me. I can tell he likes looking at my bare legs and seeing the skin on my back or my arms exposed more than he likes my cleavage hanging out. It was baffling at first, because I was used to guys like Joe. You know, guys who liked to look down my shirt, but couldn't tell me what I was actually wearing. Ranger was totally different, but I think I figured him out.

The turn on, at least for me, is all in the way his hands move over my skin when he touches me in those exposed spots. Just putting his hand on my back or my arm, caressing me in a socially accepted way, while in public, is totally erotic. It sends jolts of awareness through me and makes me want more skin on skin contact. It's like every little touch turns into foreplay. I was sure he knew that. I was sure that's why he did it. I was sure that's why he enjoyed the style dress he chose for me.

And boy, I love when he picks out my dresses. I love the way he looks at me when I wear them. I crave the way he touches me too, like the dress was all part of his seduction plan. They probably were. And so was the one last night, I knew it when I opened the box.

The sweater dress didn't have an open back or peek-a-boo slits in the sleeves like the other dresses I had at home. The only skin that would be revealed would be on my legs and my neck, which was why I pulled my hair up. I really wanted him to enjoy that dress. And I knew he loved my legs in heels, so I hoped there was something in my suitcase that'd work.

I went to the closet to see what I had for dress shoes and that's where I found a second box wrapped up with a bow, just sitting on the floor waiting for me. Another card read, These are also for tonight, you'll wear them with the dress…and without. My body instantly responded to that note. I liked that it wasn't a request. I'm not sure why, but I loved when he got a little controlling in bed. I liked it so much my panties were damp, and I hadn't even seen him yet.

Inside the box were a simple pair of black, sling back pumps with a nude colored bow at the back of the heel and a set of black thigh-high stockings. I slipped my legs into the stockings and lowered the skirt. I pouted to myself as I realized he'd covered the only skin he'd allowed me to show. But then it made me wonder what his fingers would feel like rubbing across that soft, silky material. Honestly, I had to fight the urge to touch my own thighs exactly how I imagined he'd do it later that night.

Then I slipped into the shoes and looked into the mirror. Even as covered up as I was, I still felt sexy. Maybe sexier than I ever had before. I turned my foot toward the mirror and appreciated the shiny shoes. They were hot. They got me hot, probably because I imagined he'd see them later without the dress. Maybe resting on his shoulders.

Yes, my mind was definitely on all the sex we'd been having and more importantly on all the sex we would be having. The man is seriously amazing in bed, and out of bed. Ugh. It's enough to make me wonder if I could get him to the back of the plane, alone. Right now. Crap, I think he caught me looking at him.

Anyway, after putting on the shoes I went out to the kitchen and found a third package waiting for me on the breakfast bar. The attached note on this one read, Meet me downstairs, maybe you'll get to drive again. That got me going even harder. He knew exactly what those words would do to me and my mind went right where he wanted it to go…to that first morning we made love.

So I tore open the gift, ready to go find the man and maybe jump him right here in the building. Inside was a beautiful, new black clutch with a bow that matched my shoes. That made me smile. He knew I only had my big carry-on bag along. I grab the carry-on and pulled out my lip gloss and my driver's license. I figured that'd be all I needed. I opened the bag and found a key inside. I took it out and put the other stuff inside.

Then I headed down to the parking garage. I figured the key looked like a car key, but with Ranger who knew. When I stepped out of the elevator he was standing about twenty feet in front of me, leaning back against a car in his usual Ranger pose: ankles crossed, arms crossed, sunglass on, smirk on his lips. Except this time he wasn't in his RangeMan gear and leather jacket, nope, he was in an exquisite black suit with a vanilla toned button up shirt beneath. The man looked like a damned model. He stole my breath.

Then he came forward, slipped his arms around my waist, and smiled down at me. "You look absolutely beautiful, Babe," he told me before kissing me quite senseless. I think I managed to mumble that he looked amazing too, but who knows what came out of my mouth. I was drunk on his kisses and didn't sober up until he moved me toward the car.

Black, sleek, beautiful, and expensive. Everything that I came to expect from Ranger's cars. It was a brand new BMW M4, and the thing was loaded. He let me check it out for a while, then asked if I wanted to drive it. I didn't think he could be serious, but he was. Even though I wanted to, I didn't. I didn't want to drive around in a city I wasn't familiar with.

He smiled at me and tucked me into the passenger seat before leaning in to kiss me again. When he broke the kiss he smiled again and shrugged. "Then we'll bring it home so you can drive it around Trenton," he said, then he shut my door and took his time coming around to the driver's side. As soon as he got in I told him he didn't have to bring the car home just so I could drive it, and he laughed at me. The he said, "Sure I do, this is your car. I bought it for you."

I think my eyes popped out of my head. "What?" I nearly screamed.

He shrugged again. "You're going to want to drive sooner or later and I figured this way you wouldn't steal my Turbo," he joked. He joked!

Everything inside of me wanted to argue with him, tell him he couldn't give me a car, point out all the reasons why it was a bad idea, and tell him no. But he gave me a look, and I knew. The BMW was safe, secure, and hooked to RangeMan. Driving that car was essentially what I promised him. I couldn't even argue about it. He got me good, using my own promise to make me take what he wanted to give me for five freaking years. But what could I do? Nothing. So I just shook my head and told him thank you, which earned me a thousand-watt grin. So I guess that's the story of how I got a new car for my birthday.

After that we drove my car around the city. He pointed out some historical sights and parks. He showed me some of the large buildings RangeMan serviced. We found some shops I'd love to check out when I had more money in my bank account. Then we drove through some residential areas before circling back toward the harbor.

I was stunned by the beauty of the city, then again, maybe we just missed the tour of their Stark Street equivalent. They had to have one, right? I was so lost in thought it took me a moment to notice we'd stopped moving.

Ranger told me we were having an early dinner, since we had plans afterward. He didn't share what those plans were and I knew better than to bother trying to ask. So he got out and spoke with the valet before coming around to open my door for me. He kissed my cheek and tucked me against his side. Then we headed inside L'Espalier, which was a fancy French restaurant.

There looked to be a few different rooms inside the restaurant, but we were taken all the way through to the back where the room was designed to look like a library. I giggled as we were seated at an angled table. The way the table was arranged in the corner gave both chairs the same view of the room and the same comfort of having a wall at their back. For once it wasn't obvious to me which chair was mine. So I waited until the chair was pulled out for me before choosing where to sit.

Given the choice I would have probably chosen the other chair, since the one I was given was near an entire wall of candles. I didn't want to ruin the night by starting a fire, accidently. Ranger laughed like he knew what I was thinking and took my hand in his. Then he whispered, "Relax, the only thing we'll set fire to tonight will be our bed sheets."

I about swallowed my own tongue. It was too nice a place to be talking dirty, but our surroundings didn't seem to faze him any. He extended his finger so it touched the inside of my wrist. There he traced little circles over my skin with just the barest of touch. My entire body was humming. I wanted him again and he knew it. He smiled at me and stared into my eyes. "Tonight is definitely going to be hot, Babe. You've got me boiling inside already," he whispered to me as he leaned in and kiss the skin just under my ear. Then he sat back, calm as can be, while I was visibly shaking with my desire.

I could barely say a word when we were asked to order. I hadn't even looked at a menu yet. Ranger just squeezed my hand for reassurance, then took care of the order. It didn't faze me at first. He'd done the ordering before. But after we were brought a cheese tray and some wine I began to worry about the restaurant. I'd never eaten at a French place before. What if all they had were snails or something? Ranger just smiled at me and told me to trust him. I told him I would, but if he fed me snails I'd use his own gun on him. That earned me a laugh. He knew I'd never hurt him and I suppose I knew he wouldn't feed me snails either.

What he did end up feeding me was a lettuce salad that had some melon and ham in it, roast chicken with some veggies, and a chocolate soufflé topped with ice cream. Obviously there was no need to shoot the man. In fact, after that dessert I leaned over and kissed him. Fancy place or not, he earned a kiss for ordering me that treat.

After dinner we drove down to a marina and walked over to a small yacht. "Is this yours?" I asked as he led me on board.

He shook his head no. "It belongs to a business associate. We're just going for a little ride," he assured me. Then he added quickly that Hal had driven my car up and was going to captain the boat for us since he was there.

For some reason knowing Hal was there helped me fully relax. I didn't realize how uptight I was being before that, but when the worry of being out alone melted away so did my nervousness. It wasn't that I was worried about being alone with Ranger. It was that part of me was worried about having to be on guard and having to be aware of our surroundings all the time. I was afraid I'd get lost in Ranger and miss something. With Hal there I knew he'd have our backs. We could enjoy ourselves without that worry.

Plus, I didn't want Ranger to have to fully slip back into Ranger mode. I wanted his attention on me. I knew things would have to change when we got home and I was alright with that, but I wanted last night to be different and special. Maybe I was being selfish, but I wanted to enjoy that birthday, that last night of vacation, without worry. With Hal there, neither of us had to worry. Ranger trusted Hal with his back, and with me. And I trusted him with Ranger.

Once on board, Hal greeted us, gave me a hug, and said he was ready to set sail whenever we were. Ranger agreed that we would be ready to go as soon as Hal could get the boat ready to depart. There were a few other guys that helped Hal get the boat out of its home in the Marina before departing. Once we were clear of the other boats and out into the harbor I felt a lot better.

Even though Ranger and I sat inside the main deck salon, watching what was happening through the large windows, I was still a little nervous. Me on a boat seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. I think Ranger sensed I was nervous too, because he started telling me about the yacht. Then, to show me, he ushered me through the interior of the main deck to the lower deck.

The lower deck was more than I ever expected. There were five bedrooms and bathrooms. Five. Of course Ranger said there were only four, because one was for the crew. Whatever, there were five. And the master was as big as my old apartment. Between the bedrooms down there and the full kitchen and living room on the main deck, you could live on that thing.

In fact, maybe someday when we're old and retired we can buy one of those and spend the winters on it somewhere warm, then spend the summer at the lake house. How perfect would that be? Ranger seemed to think it was a good idea too, because when I told him the plan he kissed me until my legs went to jelly and I stumbled against him.

The fact that there were five beds within a few feet of us was not lost on me, but to my dismay he didn't take me to any of them. He led me back to the main deck. While I was looking around the kitchen he reappeared with another gift box.

This one didn't have a card and he opened it himself. He slipped the lid off and pushed the tissue paper out of the way, revealing a gorgeous bright blue wool trench coat. He lifted it from the box and held it for me. "It's chilly on the water," he told me with a little smile.

I slipped it on and he buttoned me up while he kissed me again. If he's not careful he'll get me used to that treatment. Then he took me outside. There were bed sized loungers, a couple benches, and a table surrounded by more seating. You could have a party on it, it was so big. I looked out at the water, the city's skyline in the distance, and the beautiful sun, which was beginning to lower in the sky. It was beautiful out there.

Ranger pointed up to another deck, which he called the flybridge. That's where Hal captained from and Ranger said he planned to stay up there, which to me, meant we had some privacy.

He led me to one of the loungers. It was piled high with pillows and thick blankets. He crawled in, leaning back against the pillows so I crawled in next to him. I snuggled into his side while he pulled the blankets around us.

We didn't say much, we didn't have to, we were just enjoying the scenery and the quiet time together. Finally, I leaned up to kiss him and told him I loved him, which he returned wholeheartedly. I was stupid, giddy in love with the man. I didn't think I could smile any wider.

He was smiling back, but his grin turned slightly naughty as he found my knee under the blanket. He moved his finger back and forth across my knee before moving it higher to find the edge of the stockings. Then he traced the edge with his fingertip, just barely touching my skin. God. Just when I thought the teasing couldn't get worse, he leaned in and rubbed his nose against my neck, just under my ear. I was panting and moaning as I tried to rub myself against him, but he held me off. Just keeping his touch to a minimum. He was driving me crazy. Then he kissed my neck. It was just a whisper of a kiss, barely touching me at all. He knew he was driving me mad, but he continued his slow torture anyway.

Ugh, it was torture. I couldn't help but fight it. I wanted more of him. But just when I managed to get myself turned enough that I could grab him by his lapels so I could drag him down for a proper kiss, he lifted me and hopped off the lounger. I protested and pouted as he carried me to the front railing.

He positioned us so we were standing, looking over the water. The area was filled with other boats. They were all starting to turn on their lights, which reflected in the water, as the sun set on the edge of the horizon. It was amazingly beautiful, but I wasn't sure what we were seeing.

Then Ranger pointed toward a really old looking boat out ahead of us. To me it looked like a pirate ship. Apparently it wasn't. He explained that it was the oldest US Navy ship still in commission, the USS Constitution. The thing's been sailing for two hundred seventeen years. I really couldn't believe it still sat in the water, much less sailed.

He moved behind me, leaning in so his lips were near my ear. "This ship saw the birth of our country. It's fought for our freedom. And it's survived wars, attacks, and enemies, but it's never gone down. It stands there as proof that if something is cared for well enough it can survive anything," he whispered to me.

Just then the canon echoed over the water, making me jump and scream, but it didn't seem to faze Ranger at all. "The canon fires at sunset as they lower the flag. It marks another day that this ship survives to tell its tale," he told me. I watched in the distance as the flag was brought down. It occupied me enough that I didn't notice him move.

Then he took my hand and I looked at him. He smiled at me and kissed my fingers. "Babe, I lived through wars and attacks and more enemies than I care to think about, but I never felt like I could survive the scars they left behind, until I met you. Your care and love has healed me and has kept me standing strong. I hope mine has done the same for you," he told me. I told him it did, which earned me another kiss to my fingers. "I want to mark the end of every day by holding you in my arms, as proof our love is stronger than anything else," he told me.

He had me completely gooey on the inside. I couldn't think of a better way to end every day, so I told him I wanted that too. "I love you more than I ever imagined was possible. You're everything to me Steph. I can't imagine ever ending a day without you in my arms. And I never want you to doubt that in my arms is where you belong," he told me gently. Then he pulled a box from his pocket and opened it up.

I was staring directly at the most beautiful ring I've ever seen. It was a large round diamond set in a diamond beaded band. I think my mouth dropped open when I realized what he was doing. I looked up at him and he smiled. Then he dropped to one knee as he took my hand again. "Stephanie, I want to be your husband more than anything else in this world. I want to join my life to yours and spend my days showing you how much I love you." I was crying already at that point. I was just so overcome by happiness I could barely breathe. "Babe, say you'll be my wife? Please," he asked me with a nervous smile.

It only took me a second to say yes. Then the ring was on my finger and Ranger's lips were on mine. We stood there kissing as the darkness settled around us. Then he carried me back to the lounger and we kissed some more. Actually I think we kissed for hours, because it was close to eleven when the yacht sailed back into its slot in the marina.

Then we drove back to RangeMan and went up to our apartment. Once we were inside Ranger lifted me in his arms again and carried me to the bedroom. He lowered me to the floor next to the bed, then moved behind me and slid the zipper down my back. Neither of us pretended we wanted anything other than to get naked and in bed, so I allowed him to undress me until I was only in my stockings and shoes, then I watched in fascination as he slowly removed his own clothing.

He laid me back onto the bed and stood between my knees. He caressed up and down my legs, not touching my skin, only the stockings. I watched his body react to touching me and still couldn't believe he wanted me the way he did. He pulled down the first stocking, and kissed a trail down my leg all the way to my toes. Then he grasped my other leg and kissed his way up that one, over the stocking, past the stocking, until he was licking my aching center. I can't even describe what he was doing to me, but I can say he certainly knew what he was doing and he took his time with it.

He took his time as he slowly made love to me too. It was perfect, and then he brought me cake…in bed. The man is a god. And he's mine, really and truly forever mine.

I just stopped writing to look down at the brilliant ring on my finger and glance up at my fiancé. I was happy. I love him. And if anyone said boo about our engagement, then I didn't need them in my life. I wasn't going to let anyone or anything come between us again.

Bring it on Trenton. You're about to meet a whole new Stephanie.