A/N: Well, my friends, here it is. At last. The long awaited Epilogue to Sandman!
I will not waste time here with idle talk, especially since I have an additional Authors Note planned for you all to read, merely to give credit where it is due^^ I will however say one thing:
It's taken me ridiculously long to write this chapter, mainly because I was concerned on how it would be received. After a few talks I had over on the fb page, I've decided to just write it the way I saw fit and brave the onslaught later on. I am fully aware that for some people, this Epilogue will be somewhat unsatisfactory, while others may like it. I've had enough time to worry about that kind of thing and I realized that it is pointless. All it does is give me a killer headache^^
So to all of you, read, review and overall enjoy^^ Or not... We'll see^^
Regards, Callie
Chapter 18
Wednesday, 29th September 2011
Midoridai Police Hospital
Conan POV
Of all the things he disliked about being in a hospital, it was the inaction he hated the most. He wasn't used to sitting still, never having been possessive of great patience anyway, so being forced to remain stationary for days at a stretch was sheer Hell to him. And right now, he had nothing to focus on except the TV-program (which wasn't good to begin with), since he'd already read through the four books Ran had brought over. The young woman was currently on a shopping spree with Kazuha and Sonoko, doubtless to get him some more books. Were he more mobile, he would have tried convincing one of the nurses to let him outside for a while, but as for now, movement still hurt quite a bit and he didn't really want to attempt it.
And that left the shrunken teenager where he was, in this gigantic hospital bed, idly flipping through crappy TV-stations and wondering what he should do to make the hours pass by faster. If Hattori were around, he could have needled the other detective just for the fun of it, but the tanned Osakan had left for Police Headquarters earlier to give an official statement.
Conan reckoned it wasn't too long until the cops would want his statement as well. And though he'd often given statements to the police, this time he found himself reluctant to do it. Mainly because the experience in that warehouse still had an effect on him, even after almost a week had passed since he'd been found.
He couldn't understand it and that annoyed the living daylights out of him. He could rationalize and compartmentalize with the best of them, but somehow what had transpired in those uncounted hours with that maniac had wormed its way past his carefully placed defences and refused to be stuffed in a mental box, safely out of sight. Personally, the small sleuth knew that it was only a matter of time until he'd find some way to reason himself out of the lingering twitch of nervousness, but as of now, he hadn't been able to do so. And the last thing he wanted was for someone else to find out what was happening with him, least of all Hattori. He still had his pride to consider after all.
Besides, it was just so ridiculous.
This hadn't been the first time he had been kidnapped, nor had it been the first time he'd almost been killed. And the Sandman hadn't been the first psychopath he'd crossed blades with. And yet, the combination of the three seemed to struck a chord within him that made him shudder.
Perhaps it was the obviously psychological torture that had been heaved on him. The music box was certainly part of it, given that he still couldn't get the damned tune out of his head. Physical pain could be dealt with easily, he had done so very often, but psychological scarring was something he wasn't so good at. Usually he merely stuffed the issue into a mental box and refused to think of it again. Or he simply reasoned it out, until nothing but the bare facts remained.
But though he tried to do either of those two, it somehow didn't work.
Every time he'd tried it, some little detail pushed itself to the forefront of his mind and he had trouble shoving it away again.
In the end, Conan decided to just wait it out. The memory would dull over time and other things would push the matter from his mind, especially when his injuries were healed. It was just the way his brain worked. He just had to distract himself until then.
Hence the crappy TV program.
After a while of searching, the mini-sleuth settled on a documentary again, since he didn't really have the patience to watch one of the hundreds of soap operas out there and his brain wanted a little exercise.
During the next hour or so, his mind remained blissfully engulfed in the topic of solar systems and the suchlike, ignorant of psychopaths and torture and music that still made him shudder. That was, until a knock at the door heralded a visitor. Switching the TV off, Conan turned his attention to the door, which opened to reveal his Osakan friend.
Conan had figured the tanned sleuth would show up after his meeting with the cops was done with, Hattori had spent quite some time keeping him company. And Conan was glad for that, at least with the Osakan detective he didn't have to play the kiddie act. But right now, Hattori looked pretty uncomfortable, which set the mini-tantei on alert. Whatever was going on, Conan had a feeling he wouldn't like it very much.
"What's going on?" Conan asked, curiously lifting an eyebrow. After a moment of hesitation, Hattori answered.
"Da police are 'ere. Dey wanna ask ya a couple o' questions, ya up fer it?" the tanned sleuth asked back, his eyes alone telling just how much he disliked the idea, which provoked only an eye-roll out of the non-child. Hattori had been showing a pretty protective streak lately that got on Conan's nerves. Soon he'd have to have a word with Hattori on the subject.
"I'm fine, Hattori." the mini detective replied, making sure his friend caught onto the annoyance in his statement. And though Hattori looked rather unconvinced, he entered the room fully, followed by Megure and Takagi.
"Conan-kun, it's nice to see you awake!" the Inspector announced, taking up a standing position directly at the foot of the bed. Takagi stood at his side, his expression carefully composed to give the impression of cheerfulness, yet Conan could plainly see the concern in both their gazes.
"It's good to see you, Conan-kun." the young detective added.
"It's nice to see you too, Keibu-san, Takagi-keiji." Conan answered conversationally. He never had been good with small-talk, especially not since he could already tell they were here on official business.
"Well... how are you feeling, Conan-kun?" Megure asked, throwing a quick look at the cast that immobilised his left arm and shoulder.
"I'm okay, Keibu-san. As I've been told, it could have been much worse," Conan replied, "You said, you wanted to speak to me?" the small sleuth continued, wanting them to finally get it over with.
He disliked that everyone suddenly felt the need to tread lightly around him.
Apparently his blunt shift of conversation worked (though it provoked a raised eye-brow from his Osakan counterpart) and Conan readied himself for the questioning that was sure to follow. Even though it seemed as if the officials still wanted to tread carefully around him, much to the chibi's annoyance.
"Well, yes, we need to ask you a few questions, if that's all right with you." Megure said quietly.
"But, if you get too tired or you don't feel up to it right now, you just tell us okay? You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." Takagi added with a concerned frown.
Slowly the careful skirting around the issue at hand irked the small detective. But he forced himself to remain calm, especially since they always acted like that when he managed to get himself into the hospital. He would just have to deal with it for now.
"It's all right, Takagi-keiji. Don't worry about it." Conan answered dismissively, nearly hearing Hattori rolling his eyes at him. He barely restrained the urge to glare at the tanned sleuth, who stood leaned against the wall to his right.
Clearing his throat, Megure began speaking again, though he was obviously uncomfortable with the topic at hand. Not that Conan could blame him, he was as well. But he would have to face questioning sooner or later and it was better to get it over with as soon as possible.
"Well, if you feel up to it, can you maybe detail to us what happened? We'll need to add that to the report. For starters, do you remember how the culprit apprehended you?" the portly official asked, falling silent as Conan nodded quietly.
"I was at school. I had talked to Heiji-niichan on the phone and I was standing outside the school doors. I wanted to get back inside when someone grabbed me from behind and injected me with something. I don't know what, but I blacked out really fast. When I woke up, I was in that warehouse. I could see the windows and that it was still raining, so I'm guessing it wasn't too long after he kidnapped me. I tried to get out of whatever he'd tied me with, but I couldn't move too much." the mini-sleuth explained, idly watching as Takagi wrote everything down. Slowly Conan started to suspect that the slender detective was the only one taking thorough notes.
"It was probably an after-effect of the drug. We know you'd have tried everything you could, Conan-kun." Takagi said with confidence.
Lifting a shoulder in a slight shrug, Conan continued, ignoring the brief twinge of pain that travelled through his body at the small movement.
"Maybe. Anyway, I... I looked through the room. I thought... maybe I could find something to cut my hands free with. But I didn't see anything. There was just a table and a shelf on the wall. There were lots of toys on the shelf and my glasses. Nothing else. Soon after, he came into the room." Slowly Conan could feel his control slipping. Recalling it just seemed to make it worse. Lots of small memories escaped the mental box and assaulted his senses, the smell of dried blood and dust, the discordant strings of eerie music floating through the stuffy air, the sudden realisation that he'd been taken captive by the child-killer he had hunted. It all suddenly came back, causing a shiver to travel down his spine.
"He said: 'I'm the Sandman. I'll make you sleep." the small sleuth continued, hardly aware that he was talking at all. It took a great deal of control to remind himself that he was not there any more, that he was merely recounting the events. Seemingly he hadn't been quite as successful in compartmentalizing it as he had previously thought.
Forcing himself to ignore the shocked silence that suddenly permeated the room, Conan continued speaking, wanting to wrap this up quickly.
"Then he started beating me up. I... kind of lost track of time then. I blacked out several times."
Suddenly another memory resurfaced, one he had desperately sought to bury as deeply as possible. The memory of the moment when he'd been painfully aware that he was choking to death. The moment when his thoughts ceased and shadows advanced on his mind, before he had been lost in the darkness of unconsciousness. Shaking himself out of the memory, the shrunken teen decided to leave that little detail out. It was enough that he knew of it.
"I... I don't really remember what happened after that." he said quickly, directing his gaze away from the two officials in front, though he could feel Hattori's stare on him. The tanned teen knew him too well, it seemed. He was the only one that was always able to tell when Conan was omitting details.
"That's okay, Conan-kun. I'm sure it must have been very scary for you." Megure said quietly, his voice suddenly gentle, as if he was trying to calm a skittish animal.
The comparison would have made Conan laugh, under any normal circumstances, but right then, he was bizarrely glad they saw a scared child in him, since he really didn't want to elaborate any further. The non-child took a few deep breaths to regain control of his composure again, hating the effect these memories were having on him. He prided himself of being in control of his emotions all the time, so he loathed the fact that he seemed to have lost the grip, in a manner of speaking.
Trying to busy his mind with something that did not involve him choking to death, Conan decided to satisfy his deductive curiosity. There were still some questions that needed to be answered.
"Nee, Keibu-san?" he asked and waited until the portly Inspector looked at him again, "There's something I don't understand though." he said, putting a conscious effort to sound more like a confused kid and less like a curious detective.
"What is it, Conan-kun?"
Seemingly it worked, now Conan just hoped he would get an answer to his next question. He was fully aware that they could simply refuse to answer, given that he was technically the victim here. But he needed to have a small detail cleared up, so he gave it a shot.
"Before I was kidnapped, 10 kids had been killed." he said, waiting until the official nodded for him to continue, "But on that shelf were 12 items, my glasses included. Why is that?"
Conan didn't really need to ask, he'd deduced the meaning of the mysterious 12th item when he'd first seen it, but even if he hadn't, that sudden uncomfortable silence in the room confirmed his theory.
"Conan-kun... I... I don't think you need to know that..." Megure tried to dissuade him, but the darker sheen in his gaze alone spoke volumes. Nevertheless, Conan had to know for sure, he wanted facts, not conjecture.
"There's another victim, isn't there?" he said, not really questioning it.
A bout of silence erupted in the room, doubtless the two officials tried to decide whether to share this bit of information with him or not. Strangely enough, even Hattori seemed reluctant to answer his query.
"Keibu-san?" Conan pressed quietly, catching the Inspector's gaze and holding it. For a moment the official looked as if he wanted to refuse the information, but then he sighed heavily and nodded.
"Yes, there is. We found him this morning. The boy had gone missing 6 months ago." Megure confirmed the suspicion Conan had harboured since the moment he had counted through the items on the shelf.
"Where?" Conan asked further, but this time the Inspector seemed as if he wanted to do anything but answer. Lucky for the shrunken teen, Hattori decided to come to his aid.
"Ya know 'e's gonna find out anyway. Ya might as well tell 'im now." the tanned sleuth said, even though he sounded more resigned than anything. For a moment, Conan wondered what could have provoked this reaction out of his Osakan friend, but as Megure; after a few tense seconds of silence; answered, Conan understood.
"He... the body was discovered in the warehouse."
"What?" Conan breathed out, his mind suddenly blanking completely.
This went outside of what he had suspected. The murderer had always left the bodies at some place they would be discovered. In a way, it didn't make sense. In another, it made complete sense, though in a very twisted way.
"The murderer... he'd... he'd kept him in an ice-box."
At that declaration, Conan actually stopped breathing for a moment or two.
Suddenly I wish I hadn't asked...
That little tid-bit of information seemed to add a whole new level of wrongness to it all. Luckily, Takagi spoke up, drawing Conan's mind back into the present.
"We think... the boy was actually the first victim, considering how long its been since he has vanished." the slender detective said, shooting an uncomfortable glance Conan's way.
"Makes sense if ya think 'bout it. Wrong kinda sense... but sense anyhow. 'E probably wanted ta keep da first one close by." Hattori added gravely, and the dark-skinned youth was right.
It was a twisted form of sense, but it did add up. At least as far as the psychology for the culprit went.
"You're probably right..." the shrunken teen agreed quietly.
A small silence reigned in the room once again, so long and heavy in fact that Conan silently wondered if the officials even had anything further to say. Or whether they tip-toed around him again.
"You shouldn't be thinking about that, Conan-kun. There's just one more question I'd like to ask, if you don't mind." Megure spoke up, his voice still as calm, still as gentle as before.
The small sleuth quickly banished the mental image of a small body in a freezer and concentrated on the Inspector again.
"Go ahead, Keibu-san." he encouraged the man, grateful for the chance to focus on something else.
"Well, about the table you mentioned before. Did you observe anything placed on it?" the portly man asked.
Wish he hadn't asked that...
Conan really wished the man hadn't asked that specific question. Once again a chord of that music filtered through his subconscious and he was hard pressed not to flinch at the fake sensation. Wouldn't they know what it was? Surely they must have found it.
"Why would you ask that?" Conan wondered aloud, averting his gaze to the bed.
"Well, you see... We had to resort to... offensive action when the suspect refused to stand down peacefully. As a result of it, he fell onto the table and destroyed it. We've found several pieces of a small machine there and though we have forensics working on it, I wondered if you'd noticed what it was. It would save us some time." Megure explained, but Conan only registered half (or less) of it.
He was much too busy ignoring the strands of music that suddenly sounded through his mind. Too busy repressing the shudder it dared to provoke. Takagi's voice made it through the confused haze that was his brain right then.
"It's all right if you can't remember, Conan-kun. We just wondered if you'd-..." the detective didn't get further than that, because Conan decided to interrupt the official. They were right, knowing what it was would save them some time; time which could be used piecing enough evidence together to get that monster into jail for the rest of his miserable life.
"It was a small wooden music-box." the mini-sleuth explained, focussing his gaze back on the Inspector in front of him, ignoring the imaginary chord of music.
"A music-box?" he heard Hattori ask from his side and spared the Osakan a brief look, before Conan nodded and continued speaking.
"Yeah. I noticed it when I first regained consciousness. It was playing some sort of music." the small sleuth explained to his friendly rival.
"What kind of music?" Takagi asked, once again writing in his notebook.
"I guess it was... like a lullaby or a kid's song or something like that. It was always playing when I woke up and when it wasn't, he'd soon come in to rewind the thing. It was always the same song too, but I didn't recognize the tune, I'm sorry." the non-child said.
"It's fine, don't worry about it." the Inspector assured him quietly.
"You're saying it got destroyed?" Conan asked, for some reason it suddenly seemed important.
For a moment the Inspector just looked at him, not saying a word, before the man answered his query.
"Yes, the suspect landed on it and smashed it to pieces." the official confirmed, drawing an empty chuckle out of the miniaturized detective.
"Well, I guess since it's evidence, I shouldn't be happy about that, but... I'm actually pretty glad it was destroyed. I don't think I want to hear that tune ever again." the small sleuth admitted quietly, unable to repress the shudder that travelled through his frame at the mere thought of that music.
Conan really hoped that reaction was a temporary one. He guessed he just needed time so he could stuff all this shit into one of his mental boxes and forget about it again. Closing his eyes, he focussed on shoving it all away again. Chances were, he'd soon be faced with a very curious Osakan and he was sure he wouldn't be able to outwit Hattori quite as easily as the police.
"That's completely understandable, Conan-kun. I suppose that's enough for now, we shouldn't trouble you right this time. You just concentrate on getting better, yes?" the Inspector advised him kindly.
"Sure, Keibu-san." Conan said quietly, trying to ignore the increased beating of his heart or the fact that he felt another shiver skitter down his spine.
He would just have to shove it all away again, then he'd feel better. It had worked with everything else, he just needed time to pack it all away. And so long as he could convince the majority of the people around him that he was fine, he'd have time enough to do just that.
Mirroring Takagi's slight wave at him, Conan forced himself to smile at the two officials, though he suspected it looked even worse than it felt.
"See you soon, Conan-kun. Hattori-kun, a word if you don't mind?" Megure asked the dark-skinned sleuth, who merely nodded and followed the two police-men out the door into the hall.
Taking a deep breath, Conan leaned back into the pillows propping him up. Despite the fact that he hadn't actually done anything, he felt drained. Diverting his gaze to the window next to the door, he could see Megure talking with Hattori, the portly Inspector wearing a concerned frown on his face.
Three guesses as to the subject...
Doubtless the official was worried about him, but it was unfounded. Conan knew how to deal with stuff like this, he wouldn't be such a good detective if he didn't. It would just take a few days to get it all under control again.
Closing his eyes, Conan picked each of his memories apart again and stuffed them back into one of his mental boxes. One after the other, the memories were filed away, being thoroughly analysed already and duly ignored. The only thing that refused to be silenced was that damned tune, but that would get quieter as time went by.
Besides, it wasn't the only tune that ghosted through his head and he had learned to live with that. He could live with the other one as well, one more wouldn't matter that much.
Saturday 8th October 2011
Mouri Detective Agency
11:48 PM
Heiji POV
He was startled out of his light slumber when a small body shocked awake merely an arm's length away. For a moment, Heiji could only listen to the panicked breathing, followed by harsh coughing because Kudo's bruised lungs weren't ready for great exertion yet and the tell-tale sound of someone groaning in pain. After a few tense seconds, the disconcerting wheezing sound produced by Kudo's lungs subsided as the non-child got his breathing back under control.
"Damn..." a muffled curse sounded off in the still room, coming from the shrunken form next to Heiji.
Knowing that Kudo's pride would most likely die instantly the moment the chibi discovered he was awake, Heiji stayed still and feigned to sleep. No need to freak the guy out even more.
He'd returned to Tokyo after a week back home (after all, he couldn't stay away from school forever, much as he would have liked it), merely to check on his favourite rival. Naturally Kazuha had tagged along and so both Osakan's had shown up at the Mouri Detective Agency, much to the mini-adult's surprise. For Heiji, he just wanted to see how the guy was doing, after all, the last case had been tough on the non-child. And to all appearances, Kudo seemed fine; the chibi had needled him just as he usually did, was just as annoyed when he was needled in return and overall had given the impression that everything was fine with him.
And though Heiji had seen that such was not entirely the truth, Kudo was almost back to his old self. So the Kansai detective had decided to accept it for what it was and chose to believe his shrunken friend.
Apparently he had been wrong.
Kudo was not fine if he shot awake like that.
Relying on his ears to tell him what was going on, Heiji deduced by the slight ruffling of clothes that the small detective in the room stood up. This was further confirmed by the quiet hiss that sounded through the darkened room; a controlled sound, almost repressed, but definitely there. Slowly Kudo's footsteps led past him and out the door to the living room of the Agency.
As soon as the chibi had vanished from the room, Heiji sat up.
He'd guessed that Kudo was plagued by nightmares and in all honesty, the not-kid had every reason to. It wasn't as if Heiji didn't know what it was like, he himself had more nightmares than he cared to count. The mind was a terrible weapon when turned against its owner, especially one as vivid as a detective's. And after what had happened, any person would have nightmares, even one like Kudo. Granted, he could compartmentalize himself out of it, but that didn't change the fact that he still had them.
This however, left the tanned teen with a problem.
He could either pretend this never happened in order to protect Kudo's pride (and his, given that he wasn't good at this stuff anyway) or at least check on the guy to make sure he wasn't completely freaking out. Okay, 'freaking out' seemed pretty darned unlikely with Kudo, but it wasn't impossible. It was highly improbable, but nothing was truly impossible.
Thinking back, Heiji remembered that his shrunken rival had displayed a few worrying traits however, especially during that little interview the cops had insisted on. He wondered if the Inspector had noticed it as well, how unlike himself Kudo had seemed then. At times, his eyes had almost glazed over, as if merely recalling it sent him back into that warehouse. His movements had been wooden (the few times he had actually moved) and sometimes a very faint shiver had travelled through the shrunken frame.
Heiji wondered if Kudo himself realized just how much off kilter he had seemed. Or if he did, whether he would deign to acknowledge it.
Considering Kudo's personality, the guy would never admit that he wasn't feeling well, just as he had been doing all day. He'd be brushing off any concerns with varying degrees of tolerance; pretending that everything was perfectly fine, even when backed into a corner. But the tanned sleuth had the advantage of knowing that and he also knew that the best way to deal with Kudo when he was displaying that particular trait would be either to be painfully blunt, or to wait it out and read through a truck-load of lines on the way.
He just had to decide on either course of action.
Thinking about his interactions with Kudo during the day, the Osakan teen had to admit that something had seemed off with his shrunken friend. But the chibi had made a conscious effort to appear unfazed, especially when talking to Heiji, so the Kansai tantei had decided to leave it at that and trust that the guy knew what he was doing.
Though, judging from that little display of disturbed sleep, it wasn't working so well.
Might as well take a look...
Standing up, Heiji made his way to the door and opened it as quietly as possible. His eyes roamed the sparingly lit room until his gaze found the form of his friend, sitting at the table. The non-child had only turned on a single light, so as to not wake Neechan and Kazuha next door and the small lamp cast long shadows throughout the silent living room. The shrunken detective didn't move, just sat there and literally stared into space.
Okay, that's not the norm...
For a small moment, the tanned sleuth debated with himself what to do once more. He was Kudo's friend and as such he knew how proud the mini-adult could get. But since he was Kudo's friend, he also felt it his duty to try and get his mind out of the shadows again. It was a real head-scratcher.
Ah, fuck it... Worst thing that could happen is that he's embarrassed... Not like that never happened before...
Fully entering the room, Heiji was surprised to discover that Kudo hadn't moved an inch. Usually any form of movement was immediately discovered by the shrunken detective (courtesy of Kudo's paranoia), so the fact that he continued to stare into space was rather unusual. The only movement the small form made was idly pushing a pawn from a discarded chessboard around.
They'd been playing chess earlier, merely to pass the time while Neechan and Kazuha had bustled through the kitchen. Kudo always got him to play chess, even though Heiji was more partial to card games. But Heiji didn't mind that, especially since his shrunken friend considered it his mission to con the tanned sleuth out of his money every time he played Poker with the guy. Therefore, Heiji was more than happy to play chess with the chibi, since they couldn't really place bets on that.
Looking at the shrunken form now though, one could see that he was only partially aware of the world around him. As if that empty stare could have given any doubts.
Kudo often was given to stare into space, especially when he was thinking, but he always knew what was going on around him. Now, it seemed as if he wasn't even aware that he was awake at all. And that was the weird thing about it.
After several tense moments, during which Heiji tried to decide on any course of action, the tanned sleuth chose to throw caution to the wind. He didn't need to pussy-foot around Kudo, not least because he knew how much the chibi hated that.
"What'cha doin'?" he asked into the silent room and was rewarded with THE most violent flinch he had ever seen, in particular from Kudo. Startled blue eyes bounded to him, before the small form nearly doubled over, once more hissing in pain.
Great job, Hattori... That must'a hurt...
"Geez, Hattori! Don't... sneak up on me like that!" Kudo hissed testily, his entire frame shuddering for a moment in pain, "I don't want to be the youngest person to ever suffer a heart-attack! Also... OW!"
Now, for Kudo to admit that his sudden motion had hurt, that was something new and provoked a sharp sting of regret from Heiji. He hadn't thought the guy would flinch that heavily, in part he had expected Kudo to just answer him without moving.
Damn... I really suck at this...
"Sorry, man..." Heiji began, making his way over to sit opposite his shrunken friend.
Behind Conan's glasses, Kudo's eyes followed every movement he made, rapidly deducing his every move and possible motivations. Kudo always did that, Heiji suspected the chibi didn't even realize it any more.
"But, what were ya doin'?" the tanned Osakan asked further, ignoring the inquisitive stare for a moment, as he leaned his elbows on the table.
"Nothing really." came the short answer, together with a not-so-subliminal message to 'back off'.
Not that Heiji had ever paid heed to Kudo's subliminal messages, at least not when it directly concerned the guy himself.
"Couldn't sleep, eh?" Heiji asked further, merely for the sake of appearance.
Only a dead-pan stare answered him and some moments passed away in silence once again. But even though Kudo had once more slipped on the mask that portrayed to the world that he was feeling fine, Heiji wasn't convinced. He'd always been able to see through most of Kudo's bullshit; now was no exception. And just because he hadn't seen it before, did not mean he missed it now as well. But he'd play along, if only for a while.
Therefore, in an effort to further distract the non-child, Heiji pulled the chessboard over and challenged his friend to another game. For a second or two, those blue eyes swept over his face again, deducing his motivation, before Kudo seemed to shrug mentally and accepted.
For a while, they talked about inconsequential things as they concentrated on the logical pattern of the game. After about twenty minutes, Heiji decided to just bite the bullet.
"Nee, Kudo... Are ya a'rite?" he asked quietly, shooting a sideways glance at his friend, determined to ignore the cast on his shoulder or the vanishing bruises on his face and neck. A quiet snort answered him, even as Kudo's gaze bored into the tanned sleuth once again. Slowly, this was becoming disconcerting.
"I'm fine, Hattori." came the standard answer.
Don't look 'fine' to me, Kudo...
"Yeah, sure." the dark-skinned youth answered with a slight scoff, "Sorry, wrong question. I shoulda asked: Wha's wrong?" he continued, watching as Kudo obviously decided that the chessboard was immensely interesting.
"Nothing."
Another of those standard answers...
Taking one of Kudo's Pawns out with his Bishop, Heiji shook his head. He was kicking Kudo's ass on the board there and usually it was the other way around. Further proof to the fact that the not-kid wasn't up to par.
"You know, I'm callin' 'bullshit' on tha' one." Heiji informed his friendly rival, tired of the pretence. For a second or two, Kudo was silent, still staring at the chessboard on the table, before he moved his Knight.
"Doesn't matter what you call it, it's still true." the shrunken teen replied quietly.
"Still bullshit." Heiji insisted, "An' I can prove it."
Determined to ignore the fact that his friend still avoided any form of eye-contact (not even to glare at him, which in itself was odd), the tanned sleuth decided to out-reason Kudo. That usually worked.
"Fact one: Ya always hear people walkin' up ta ya. Fact two: Yer usually not in da habit o' walkin' through da place in the middle of da night." Heiji began, quietly ticking off the things he had observed.
"Fact three: Yer never spacin' out dat far. I mean, ya were completely gone! Ya wouldn't 'ave even noticed me if I 'adn't said somethin'."
Finally, Kudo looked up, clearly uncomfortable with the topic, but at least he was listening. Even though the glare he gave could have frozen Hell over. Heiji held his friend's gaze, briefly contemplating whether or not to reveal the final clue that caused him to talk to his shrunken friend.
"An' finally... Ya didn't really expect me not ta notice when ya shot awake like dat? Yer not the only light sleeper 'round 'ere, ya know?" Heiji challenged the silent non-child in front of him, witnessing a brief look of shock flash through the blue gaze, "'Sides... I know ya, like it or not, so I can tell somethin's off. So, ya can either talk ta me now, or I'll tell Neechan tomorrow."
When all else fails, blackmail the guy into spilling...
Judging by the guilty look that flashed over Kudo's features, Heiji had really struck a nerve with that one. He knew that Neechan had no idea about this, else Kudo wouldn't have looked so startled. For a little while, the mini-tantei stared at the chessboard again, nearly glaring holes through the wooden figures.
Clearly Kudo was debating with himself what course to take now. It was clear he didn't want to talk about whatever was bugging him, especially not with Heiji, but for Neechan to find out; that was something he wanted even less.
Just when the not-child looked like he might actually spill the beans, he seemed to change his mind once again. Furiously, the small detective glared at Heiji.
"Just... drop it, Hattori." he warned, his entire frame visibly tensing.
Curse your pride, Kudo...
If the conversation slid downhill any further, they'd have a full-blown argument about this. Not necessarily something Heiji wanted, since it would result in Kudo not talking to him at all. The chibi was clearly uncomfortable with the whole situation and despised the fact that he'd been found out. Same thing always happened when Heiji managed to outwit the guy. Not that it had happened often to begin with, but the reaction had been the same every time.
The sensible thing would be to just leave it at that and trust that Kudo would compartmentalize himself out of that dark cloud that seemed to hang around his head. But Heiji had never been one to listen to any sensible choices.
"I aint droppin' anythin'." he informed his friend, leaning a bit more onto the table and lowered his voice, "Listen, Kudo. Yer my friend. No matter da size."
A brief flash of irritation was his reward for that comment, to which the tanned sleuth only grinned good-naturedly. But a bit of the tension seemed to ebb out of the small frame, so Heiji considered it a mild success.
"So, talk ta me, man. Wha's up?"
Once more there was a short silence in the room as Kudo seemed to consider everything. The chibi knew that Heiji was completely serious in ratting him out to Neechan, and then he'd never hear the end of it. At the same time, Kudo's pride wanted anything else but to talk about it. A motivation Heiji could understand, even if he disliked it.
After a small while though, the non-child's frame crumpled a little, losing the defensive hunch and even some of the glare. A heavy sigh followed the unconscious movement and the tanned teen knew he had achieved victory.
"It's... nothing serious really. I just...," once more Kudo started idly fiddling with a discarded chess-piece, "I keep hearing that melody. It's already gotten better and it'll probably vanish in a little bit, but..." the not-kid shrugged, still keeping his gaze on the table.
Heiji had suspected something like this, from the moment the chibi had told the Inspector about the music-box. Stuff like that was difficult to shake off, especially when one had heard it constantly. And Kudo was right, it would vanish over time, as other things would push the matter from his mind, but for now, it was apparently still quite vivid. It was a completely normal reaction that anyone could have. And with Kudo's ability to memorize everything at a glance and half a heart-beat, it came as no great surprise that something like a melody was seared into the small detective's memory.
"It puts ya on edge, don' it?" Heiji confirmed quietly, watching the small form shrug almost dismissively.
"Yeah." Kudo admitted, "Usually I can ignore it; after all, it's not the only melody I keep getting reminded of. But..." suddenly the non-child broke off, wearing an extremely uncomfortable look on the childish face.
For Heiji it was clear as to why Kudo had suddenly stopped talking. It was one thing to admit being reminded of a melody, but quite another to admit suffering from any repercussions due to that. So the tanned teen decided to make it easier on his friend. After all, he was a detective as well.
"Don' help dat much when yer tryin' ta sleep, eh?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, "So yer havin' nightmares 'bout it. An' knowin' ya, ya'd never admit ta it, but jus' try an' distract yerself long enough for ya ta keel over. Tha' 'bout right?"
Suddenly the tanned teen wished he'd have his cellphone on him, just for the utterly priceless look Kudo sported. Would have made great blackmail material. The mini-tantei looked completely stunned that Heiji had been able to figure it out.
Not like it was that well hidden to start with...
"How did you know that?" the chibi breathed, clearly stunned.
That however irked the Osakan, if only a little. Surely Kudo would have to be used to the fact that he wasn't the only detective around.
"Oy, yer fergettin' who yer talkin' ta." he dead-panned.
A small chuckle was his answer, followed by a headshake. But at least part of that dark cloud seemed to have dissolved, so Heiji would let the blow to his own pride slide. For now.
"Yeah, I suppose I did. Sorry, Hattori."
Shrugging easily, Heiji concentrated on the game again, if only for the sake of appearance. Thinking about everything, Heiji was suddenly reminded how often he himself shocked awake during the night, especially after tough cases. Nightmares were nothing new to a mind such as his, particularly since detectives (as well as cops) always expected the worst. One just couldn't joust with the netherdepths of humanity and not expect some form of retribution.
Feeling his friend's gaze on him, Heiji looked up. And sure enough, behind Conan's glasses Kudo's eyes were once more following his every move.
"Don't look a' me like dat. It ain't like I could blame ya fer havin' nightmares. Damn, I got 'em too..."
Now where had that come from?!
Judging from the surprise that flitted across the childish face opposite him, Kudo hadn't seen that coming either.
"What are you having nightmares about?" the not-kid asked quietly, clearly interested.
Well, guess I had it coming...
Breathing a quiet sigh, Heiji decided that sometimes one had to just forget pride and remind a stubborn friend that not even detectives were above the rules of nature.
"Remember dat mansion in Tottori?" the tanned sleuth asked and waited for his friend to remember the case.
"The spider mansion case? Yeah, I recall."
"When Kazuha was hung from da rafters? I dream dat... when we find 'er, she's dead," the dark-skinned youth admitted, not wanting to remember the details of that particular dream, "Or sometimes, dat we don' find 'er a' all. Or 'bout when ya came ta Osaka dat first time, ya know..." Heiji didn't need to elaborate on that one, Kudo knew full well which case the Osakan spoke off.
If Heiji hadn't given the non-child his Omamuri, that crazed guy would have skewered the chibi. It was a mere stroke of luck that could easily have ended in a thousand different ways, each one pretty horrible.
A grim sort of understanding dawned on the mini-sleuth's face, while he absently made another move. Neither of them were really concentrating on the chess game any more. They were just continuing for the sake of appearance.
"I see." was all Kudo said.
"What're yers about?" Heiji asked, knowing that now, as he had admitted to his nightly demons, Kudo would consider it only fair to return the favour.
A small hand raked trough Kudo's signature cowlick, before it moved to take the fake glasses off his eyes.
"I... It's always the same thing. At least since I got out of the hospital," the mini sleuth started, intently staring at the table, "I dream that... I wake up."
Confused Heiji frowned, but listened as his shrunken friend continued.
"I wake up in that damn warehouse. And Kazawa is there. And that music is still playing. And I realize... that I never really got out of there. That this...," Kudo tapped the table to emphasize his point, "this is the dream and you guys never found me at all. And I ... I just know that I'll die there. And when I wake up again, I can't decide which is the dream and which is reality. I know it's stupid..."
"Ain't stupid, man. Damn creepy... but it ain't stupid." Heiji reassured his favourite rival, suppressing the reflexive shudder daring to skitter through him.
Leave it to Kudo to dream something that scary. If their roles had been reversed, the tanned sleuth likely would have given up on sleep altogether.
"So, most of the time, I just sit out here for a bit, watch TV, or read. Or I just think it all through. After a while, it stops being weird and I try and sleep again. That's basically it." the chibi explained, actually seeming a lot less tense now than at the start of their conversation. And judging by the fact that the non-child had looked close to snapping with the sheer tension of it, that was a huge improvement.
Just as Heiji thought about what to say next, if only to keep the conversation from stagnating, the attention of both detectives was pulled away by a third voice sounding off.
"Conan-kun...? What are you still doing awake?" a sleepy Neechan asked, frowning disapprovingly. Behind her stood Kazuha, not any less tired or any less disapproving.
"Oy, 'ave ya been eavesdroppin'?" Heiji demanded to know, for some reason (that he was utterly oblivious to) not wanting the ahou to know that he occasionally had nightmares that involved her in some way. And also because he belatedly realized he'd called the chibi 'Kudo' several times tonight.
Well, it wasn't as if I suspected to be overheard...
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw his shrunken rival hurriedly place his glasses back onto his face.
"Ahou! We weren't eavesdroppin' on ya. Who'd want dat, anyway?" Kazuha shot back instantly.
"We just woke up and heard voices. I thought maybe Otou-san had come home. Is everything all right?" Neechan asked, walking to the table and seating herself on the chibi's side. Instantly the Conan-face returned (Heiji hated it when that happened) and the not-kid threw a cheery smile at the young woman.
"Everything's fine, Ran-neechan. Oji-san is still out, though."
That's right, the old man went out earlier...
Knowing that despite the fact that 'Conan' had Neechan literally wrapped around his little finger, the woman would want some sort of explanation as to their nocturnal chess game; Heiji decided to take the blame. Only this once.
After all, Kudo had actually talked to him, there was no reason to involve Neechan now.
"It's my fault, really. I couldn' sleep an' I guess I jus' woke da kid up."
Naturally, Kazuha took the opportunity to nag at him for that, annoying ahou that she was. And true to his own nature, he ignored most of what she said. That was, until Kudo decided to return the favour however. And damn him, but the guy pulled the puppy-look on Kazuha!
"Kazuha-neechan, don't be mad at Heiji-niichan. We've been playing chess, see?" the not-kid chirped and pulled off his brightest grin yet.
Amazingly, the ahou calmed down almost instantly. With a grin of his own, Heiji realized that his shrunken friend could probably get away with setting Neechan's room on fire after reading her diary with that look on his face.
Choosing to let it slide, the two girls sat down as well, now that they were all awake anyway. Over the chatter of the girls, Heiji caught his friend's gaze once more. The small detective nodded once, his face only serious for but a moment, but Heiji caught the meaning of that look. Grinning back, the tanned sleuth saw even more of the tension bleed out of Kudo's shrunken form, so that now (perhaps since this whole mess started) the chibi seemed at ease again.
But suddenly, the grateful look vanished and a wolfish grin spread on the small face. Heiji knew his friend long enough to know that a grin like that meant trouble. Particularly when it was aimed at him. Instantly he was suspicious, especially when his favourite rival directed his gaze back onto the chess board.
"What're ya grinnin' 'bout?!" Heiji demanded to know, also looking down. Though he had only paid sporadic attention to the game, he'd been pretty sure he could kick Kudo's butt this time. Glancing over the wooden surface, he saw the trap he had set, leaving his Queen in a prime position to checkmate Kudo's King in the next two moves.
But something ain't right here...
"Checkmate, Heiji-niichan!" Kudo's fake kiddie voice announced and the small hand moved his Bishop.
The chatter around them both subsided and three pairs of eyes looked onto the board.
It was then that Heiji realized his error. By moving his Rook, he'd given opportunity for Kudo to move his Knight and take out a Bishop. At the time, it had merely been an observation, but now he saw the cunning trap the chibi had lain for him. With the Bishop out of the way, Kudo had both Knights and his Queen lined on Heiji's King. There was no way out of that kind of trap.
"Awesome, Conan-kun!" Neechan cheered and clapped her hands excitedly, while 'Conan' merely grinned at Heiji.
Ahou...I'll get back at you for that...
6 months later
Hachioji Medical Prison
Room 370
Maximum Security Ward
To think; he had been so close. Merely a minute more, only one small precious minute; and the score would have been complete.
The number would have been fulfilled.
He could have crowned his victory with one last, final trophy.
But it had not happened.
He would have needed only a few more seconds, most likely. He had already felt it; the life leaving that boy. He'd felt the frantic, panicked heart-beat slowing down beneath his hands, had seen the defiant blue eyes glaze over in Death's embrace.
Only a few moments more, that was all he had needed.
But the foolish police had shown up. They shouldn't have been able to find him to begin with. But they had stormed in, swarming through the door like useless ants and had shot him down.
Literally.
Curse them!
Even after they had entered his sanctuary, he still could have triumphed. He'd seen the horror in their eyes as they beheld him, the fear over the small boy he held, their worry over a life at his hands. He could have killed the boy with them unable to stop him.
But Rokurou had intervened.
Had resisted.
Had pushed himself forward one last time and had allowed for the police to take him down.
Curse them all to Hell!
Rokurou had paid for that betrayal. Thankfully that no-good meddler was silenced now. He'd taken care of that.
Rokurou was no more, his control broken, his annoying voice forever silenced.
Now, he was finally who he was supposed to be. He was strongest, it was only natural that he had triumphed over Rokurou's weak will.
Survival of the fittest...
But even that final triumph was hollow now; it had availed him naught.
He was still doomed to a hideous existence, locked away behind steel and glass, trapped in a small room with only a tiny window to see the sky through.
The doctors here (though he usually called them other colourful phrases) had even restricted his contact to anyone but the staff. And though it was entertaining to see the interns shake in fear and the more experienced doctors stare at him in revulsion; being trapped in this room infuriated him.
To think that they would dare caging him, as if he were nothing but a wild animal. It was preposterous.
He was the ultimate hunter, the pinnacle of creation itself.
He was the apex predator.
A being completely free from danger, from pursuit; and these ... sheep wanted him caged!
Angrily, the man glared at the walls surrounding him.
The doctors claimed he suffered from a mental illness, a disease of the mind, but they were wrong. Rokurou had suffered, but he was quite sane. In fact, he was the only sane one left.
Everyone else had gone mad.
Yet still, the fact remained.
He had not succeeded.
The number was unfulfilled.
The last one had survived.
Because of the one he had taken to call 'host' and his damned meddling. Had Rokurou not released the boy, he could have twisted that little neck right in front of the cops. What fun that would have been!
Oh, to think of the flash of terror in eyes that had been so defiant before. Or that delicious scream of agony, as the sounds of bones breaking had filled his world.
It would have been perfect. HE would have been perfect.
"But it didn't work..." the man announced to the empty air around him, neither wanting nor expecting a reply.
If he concentrated though, he could go back to that moment just before the sheep had cornered him. Could go back and see it again.
See those defiant blue eyes again, so filled with rage and determination, yet only veiling the fear behind. And in one small moment, the fear had fully broken through, even as the heart-beat beneath his hands had begun to slow. Just before the defiant blue eyes clouded and closed.
He could stay in that moment forever, if he wanted to.
Stay forever like that; with him listening to the slowing heart-beat, watching fear cloud blue eyes.
Seeing the terror in the last one's gaze.
The one that got away.
Those sheep knew nothing! They couldn't understand him, could never comprehend his glory.
It hadn't been his fault that things had turned out this way. It was never his fault, he was flawless and therefore, beyond fault.
It was Rokurou.
That cursed goody-two-shoes had ruined it all! But thankfully, Rokurou was gone as well now and good riddance to him.
He did not need him.
He needed no one.
He needed nothing.
Nothing but the memory of fear in blue eyes.
Closing his eyes, the man leaned back against the sickeningly white wall behind him and lost himself in the memory. Quietly he began to hum.
A lullaby for the ones he had taken to the Dreamland, a sleep-song for the one that got away.
For he was the Sandman.
He would forever be the Sandman.
Through the corridors, the humming permeated the stark white hallways of the prison. The last echo of a beast that was caged here, more animal than human.
A monster for children to fear.
FINIS
The hospital bit was actually the easiest part to do, even though I veered quite heavily from what I had planned originally. Crimson would notice that I cut a specific interaction out, simply because I felt that I was pushing it already by showing aftereffects on out favourite mini-tantei. Overall, I like it as it is, but maybe one day I'll manage to improve it^^ For now, it is fine^^ At least for me *gg*
Heiji and Conan playing chess was just something I figured would be fun. Originally I wanted them to play Poker, but I can't quite remember all the rules and stuff, so I decided to have them play chess while our favourite Kansai detective tries to get the stubborn chibi to talk. Like I said, I'm sure some of you all will dislike it, especially since in the original Canon the chibi rarely talks seriously with Heiji and I had the whole 'pride' thing to consider, but in this case, I felt like it would work. Some of you may like, others may dislike, but honestly, DILLIGAFF... *lol*
That last scene literally jumped at me unawares, but I felt like it fit. After all, the first scene was the Sandman, I felt it natural to give him the last scene as well^^Of course, now that he's once again loose in my brain, my imaginary detectives will have a field day trying to catch him again *rofl*
Authors Note in next chapter. Already written and published along with this chapter^^