Disclaimer: Anything you recognize is not my own, yadda yadda yadda. I'm not making any money off of this. (Though I wish I could.)
A/N: So… Thorin was a huge asshole in the last chapter. Why? Well. He had no excuse, that's for damn sure. But I imagine that he is frustrated that he had to turn to the elves for help. Angry that Gandalf led them there. Doubting himself and whether or not he really will turn out like his grandfather. He has also seen how his company has come to care for Talya, and he is worried that maybe she'll become a distraction. Call it sexist, but males are generally more protective of females than each other. Thorin doesn't want anyone, including Talya, to end up hurt because of it. And maybe, just maybe, he got a little jealous when he saw Talya look at those elves, which confuses him to no end.
PS: You guys continue to astound me with your amazing reviews. Keep them coming! :)
I shamefully avoided the company the next day. I felt an empty bitterness within that should have scared me and it made me even angrier that Thorin's cutting words had hurt me so badly.
So, instead of going about the routine I had built over the last couple of weeks, I began to make preparations. The anger I felt towards Thorin burned in my gut and it was almost enough to say 'forget this' and leave them to their fates. But I had grown close to Kili and Fili, to kindly Balin, and sweet Ori. Traveling with them, fighting with them, and laughing with them every day for the past six weeks had forged a bond between myself and them, despite what Thorin would have me believe, and I could not let them continue on alone. The near death of Kili had unsettled me further, and I remembered the fact that Gandalf would not have made it back in time to save them from the Trolls, and that I had given Bilbo the idea to stall. I felt an uncomfortable tightness in my chest whenever I thought about it, and knew in my heart that when the company set out from Rivendell the next night, I would be with them.
The first thing I did was to go through my ruck sack. I was still wearing borrowed clothing, so my two sets of ACU's were clean and neatly folded next to it, along with both pairs of boots. I knew the elves had attempted to mend the set I had been wearing when I went through the flood and arrived here, but there was only so much they could do with a material they were unfamiliar with. I sighed and left them to the side, keeping the set that were basically untouched in the keep pile. Sithiel had generously replaced my socks and underwear that had been falling apart, so I had six sets of one, and three pairs of the other. My bra had been shot, too, and since I had been given that comfortable sports-bra type thing, I decided to toss that, too. My cover I tossed into the garbage pile. The cloak Becka had given me was packed, the cloak I had borrowed from Gandalf stayed out.
I still had two pairs of boots, and agonized over packing both. The boots I wore would hold up well under traveling and there really shouldn't need to take both with me. After debating for awhile, I tossed my lighter weight boots in the keep pile and tossed the winter boots off to the side. The tent cover I decided to keep, since it was small enough to really not be of notice, the same with my poncho. The two canteens were not debatable. I made a mental note to wash them out and fill them before tomorrow night. My 550 cord I kept, as well as my Swiss army knife. My ammo I set off to the side, deciding I would worry about it later.
The toilet paper I had had was long gone and I mentally lamented leaving Rivendell and having to start wiping with grass and leaves. The baby wipes were too few to bother packing. As much as I would have loved to keep the deodorant and toothpaste, I knew we would be set up against the wargs again and did not want the foreign sent to allow them to track us that much better.
I picked up the last thing to be packed and paused over it. It was my little baggie of photos and letters. I had taken them out now and again just to remind myself of home and I felt a wave of longing enter me. I opened the bag and spent a little time thumbing through the photos and pausing to read a few of the personal letters I had kept.
In the end, I placed everything back tenderly into its bag and packed that too in my ruck sack, not being able to part with it.
I pulled my cloak over my shoulders and grabbed the little purse of gold that Gandalf had given to me, the purse fuller now that I had added coin to it from the Trolls' horde. I looked down the ammo and, coming to a decision, I sought out Gandalf. I found him with Lord Elrond on a balcony and I debated interrupting them. In the end, I didn't have to.
"We were just speaking of you," Gandalf said, turning to face me. Lord Elrond smiled mildly at me and they waved me in.
"I apologize if I have interrupted, my lord," I bowed my head to Lord Elrond and he shook his head.
"No, not at all. We were merely discussing your presence within the company. It is I who feel as though I should offer an expression of regret. Rarely is it that we receive such guests here in Imladris, and it feels as though my hospitality has been remiss. I have yet to speak with you and welcome you here in my home and talk with you of yours, and how your relatives fare, and other such niceties that friendly strangers often find themselves discussing."
"You have been quite gracious, Lord Elrond, in your welcome already. Where I am from, there are few who would so openly welcome strangers into their midst, and yet you have done so freely, expecting nothing in return."
"Well said," Gandalf nodded his head to me. "Will you sit with us?"
"Actually, I am in middle of running some errands. I find that I have precious little in the way of supplies and I would like to be ready in advance for when we set out. If I may ask a favor?"
"What would you as of us?" Lord Elrond asked, curious now.
"I have something from my home. Something that could be quite dangerous if used wrongly, or if it fell into the wrong hands. I am sure you would be able to dispose of it properly."
I felt both of them eying me curiously, so I produced the two magazines full of ammo. I placed one on the table between Gandalf and Elrond and carefully slid a bullet out from its place.
"This is a bullet, and it is full of something called gun powder. If struck improperly or if heated up, it will explode." I explained simply. I wasn't sure how much they would really understand if I tried explaining the specifics, so I kept it simplified. Lord Elrond eyed it warily, then nodded.
"I will ensure that it is disposed of properly, and that no harm comes to those who handle it."
"Thank you, my lord," I bowed my head again. "I will take my leave now, if I may."
Lord Elrond watched me curiously again before smiling.
"Perhaps we will talk again, Lady Talya. Know that you shall ever be welcome here." I bowed low again and thanked him. I bid them both a farewell, and headed down to where I knew there were a few merchants. I picked up a new string for my bow, a whet stone of my own, a small satchel of healing herbs, and a few linen bandages. Every time I tried to pay with coins, the elves would shake their heads and merrily insist that I take what they had to offer freely.
I stopped off for lunch and decided I would make the stable my next stop. Bringing a few sweet fruits with me, I went to visit Grey-mane.
The horse was happy to see me, and happier still that I had brought him treats. I smiled sadly at him as he munched happily and brushed my hands off when the last piece of fruit was gone. He head-butted me and I scratched his neck.
"Thank you, Grey-mane. You've been a good friend." I said quietly. He blew air out softly and lipped at my arm. "Yeah, I'll miss you too."
I made my visit short, not sure if I could really stand a long goodbye, particularly since I wasn't sure I'd ever see him again. Grey-mane had been my first real friend in Middle-earth and I would miss him.
It was later then I expected when I got back to my rooms. Sithiel was there with a bundle of clothes and another two parcels that I couldn't identify.
"Good evening, Sithiel. How do you fare?" I had picked up the rhythm of their speech fairly well, if I said so myself.
"Well, Talya." She answered with a small smile.
"What do you have here?" I asked, coming to sit next to her on the bed.
"Forgive me if we seem overly bold in this, but my sister and I have taken it upon ourselves to have clothing made for you. Things that will hold up well in your future travels." I was touched at the gesture and watched wordlessly as she unfolded the clothes.
There were two pairs of leggings, one a charcoal grey, the other dark brown. Each one was simply made and tailored perfectly. Three shirts followed, one midnight blue one very similar to the one I had worn there the first night, a dark, forest green one that looked similar to what I had seen some of the males wearing around, but obviously cut for a females shape, and a brown one that was twin to the green. I touched them hesitantly and smiled.
"Thank you, Sithiel. That was very sweet and generous of you." She smiled warmly, then hesitated a second before tugging at a second, bulkier bag. She reached inside and pulled out two black leather arm bracers. They looked familiar, but I knew that they were not elvish in design. She put them on briefly to show me how they fit, and I wordlessly took them, looking at her with confusion and she only smiled as she then reached into the bag and tugged out a brand new sheath for the sword I was using, which she passed to me.
"I was approached by a dark haired, young looking dwarf and an older dwarf with white hair. They insisted I give these to you."
I felt my heart swell and I ran my fingers over the soft and supple leather. Both bracers and sheath were inlaid with dwarvish designs and the craftsmanship reminded me of Bifur's steady hand.
"And lastly, this." She picked up the last parcel and handed it to me. "Gandalf asked me to provide you with traveling provisions that would not quickly spoil. There is lembas, jerky, and some traveling cakes made of fruits and poured fat."
I nodded slowly and sat awkwardly with Sithiel. I didn't know how to thank her for her and her sisters kindness over the past few weeks and, now that I knew I was leaving soon, I was having a tough time coming up with words. She patted my arm.
"Come now, word of your departure has not yet been spoken of, and you may yet have a fortnight here in our elvenhome." If only she knew.
"Thank you, Sithiel, again, for everything." She smiled brightly and bid me a good evening.
That night I took a light supper brought to me by Maerwen. She had shyly asked me if I had received the clothes and I nodded, thanking her. While we sat and ate, we talked about her own brief travels. When she brought up Lothlorien, I smiled at the passion in which she discussed the Golden Wood. She told me, too, of an elf there that she had noticed, and how she planned to travel there in the autumn to visit him and his kin.
We bid each other goodnight when the moon rose in the sky, and I spent some time re-packing my bag. I was truly touched at the sisters' gesture of friendship and knew I would miss their companionship. As much as I had come to enjoy the company of Bilbo and the dwarves… Thorin excluded… being able to talk to another female was nice.
After lovingly running my hands over the bracers and admiring the sheath, I decided it would be best to make it an early night. I snuggled myself up under the blankets and hummed something softly as I drifted off to sleep. It wasn't until I was nearly asleep that I realized it was the song of the Lonely Mountain.
I woke up surprisingly late the next day. It was already mid-morning when I rolled out of bed. Maerwen or Sithiel must have come and gone, because a small bowl of something that looked suspiciously like a fruit parfait sat on small table in the corner. I ate slowly, enjoying what I figured to be my last taste of a good meal before setting out to the bath houses. I was determined to set off on the quest clean, dammit.
I scrubbed myself raw, shaved, trimmed my nails short, and washed my hair until it squeaked clean. I let myself relax and soak for awhile, trying to relieve the tension I felt as the departure of the company drew near.
Once I climbed out of the rapidly cooling tub, I pulled on a clean pair of underwear and the elven bra, then the charcoal colored leggings, the green tunic, and the second cloak, which was nearly the same shade of dark grey as the pants. My hair I twisted up into a towel, much to the endless amusement of many of the elves who saw me like that, and headed to my room. I opened my door and jumped in surprise when I saw Gandalf standing there.
"My apologizes for startling you, Talya," He said turning to look at me. He stared a moment, and attempted to hid a smile once he took in my towel-wrapped hair.
"Does no one else dry their hair likes this?" I asked, exasperated. I pulled the towel from my hair and let it drop to the floor.
"Ah, -ahem-, not that I have seen," He coughed back a chuckle and then regarded me quietly for a moment.
"Your presence has been missed, Talya. They know heated words were spoken between Thorin and yourself."
"Heard that, did they?"
"Indeed. Our dear hobbit fears that you will abandon the quest in favor of staying here."
"And of the rest? Do they even care?" I asked, wincing when the words came out harsher then I intended. Gandalf sighed softly.
"Do not let the words of a bitter and pained dwarf make you doubt yourself, or the loyalty of the dwarves with whom you have shared so much with, in so little time. Kili, Fili, Balin, Ori, and Bifur spent much time crafting those things," He said, gesturing to the bracers and sheath that I had laid carefully out on the foot of my bed. He picked up the bracers and handed them to me. I caressed them softly before slipping them on over my forearms. Gandalf helped me tie them in place, then spoke with a smile. "They traded gladly with the elves for the materials, and they spent most of last night carefully working the leather."
I closed my eyes and let out a long breath.
"I'm sorry, Gandalf. I know that most of them think of me as a friend. I am just so very… angry at what Thorin said. I have worked so damn hard to fit in here,"
"And you have done remarkable." He held out his hand to me, then pulled me over to the mirror. I hardly recognized myself. My hair was down around my face in wet locks. My skin was tanned from the weeks swimming and bathing in the pools. My shoulders were more broad, my legs and arms thicker. With the leggings, tunic, bracers and cloak, I looked liked I had stepped out of a story. Or, rather, into one. Even the thin chain of my dog tags did not look out of place.
"You are stronger then you were. More determined. There is a fire in your eyes that was not there when first we met."
I merely swallowed and nodded mutely.
"You have made quite the impression on not only the dwarves and Bilbo, but on many of the elves here. I have heard some speak of your love for animals. How they have caught you speaking with Grey-mane and the other horses stabled with him. They have found you petting and sneaking food to many of the dogs, birds, and small animals that make Rivendell their home. Others spoke of how well you carried yourself, particularly for a mortal woman. Lets not forget the sisters Sithiel and Maerwen. They have come to enjoy your company, and I know they will be sad when you leave here.
"Finally, you made an impression on the Lady Galadriel, for never would she have gifted you with this if you had not." With that, he reached into his robe and, with what must have been magic, he pulled out a shining bow of golden wood. My heart stopped and I reached out reverently, hesitating to touch it. "It is of the Galadhrim. Never before has a mortal been give one. You could not ask for a better bow."
Gandalf passed it of to me, and I picked it up, surprised at how light it was. I turned it over in my hands, afraid that I would break it.
"The Lady of Lorien, Lord Elrond, and myself…. We are the only three who know how you came to be here in Middle-earth, and know that you were taken from your old life and thrust into this one so very suddenly. Instead of passing into death and being allowed to take your rest in the halls of your for-bearers, you were made to carve out a life for yourself here. You have surprised us all, my dear. Whatever may come, know that you have done well and that you have made me proud."
I embraced him then, carefully holding the bow out to the side. I had so desperately needed to hear the words he spoke. He gently hugged me back, then dropped his arms as I stepped back. We stood there in silence for awhile as I looked over at my new bow in awe.
"When will the company depart?" Gandalf asked and I looked up at him startled. He gave me a knowing smile. I would have asked how he had figured it out, but I had a feeling I knew what his answer would be. He was a wizard, after all.
"Tonight, in the early hours." I answered after a moment. He nodded slowly, thoughtfully.
"You have your things packed, then?" I nodded in answer.
"Gandalf… in the mountains outside of Rivendell…." I chewed on my lip a second. "We will run into the King of Goblin town. Two days, maybe three. If you don't come…" I trailed off.
"Have no fear, Talya. I have no intention of abandoning this quest." He touched my shoulder. "I will see you in a few days time. Rest while you can. I daresay you will need it."