Sorry...
I don't know how many times I have said it nor how many times I have abused it. It is a word can I never give up because every time I say it, it is spoken true. I say in now because I said things I never meant to, shared things I don't share to anyone and now you are either dragged down with me or worried for me. Don't ... Don't worry for me... Don't get sad because of me... No, I don't like that at all. You try to cheer me up, give me motivation when you should be smiling instead of talking to worthless me. I am nothing compared. You should move on whereas I will stay here and cheer you on instead. I am sorry for everything I said really I am! You should have never heard! You most likely hate me fore being so complicated but I don't know how to stop it anymore! Please don't give me those words... don't say that my depression is taking over. I only get severe anxiety attacks thinking that I screwed everything up. And please for the love of god, don't say Sorry to me...! That would kill me as much as I feel like I failed you as a friend. I was the one happy and making you smile now I am not even chipper enough to know whether this self hate isn't working like the motivation speeches ringing through my head to urge me one. But I still can't move for some reason. No this isn't something you need to worry on... I'll recover...I think... Hopefully before this takes over again... I don't want you to worry about me anyway... I talk too much when really I want to hear everything you have to say... won't you please tell me? I want to hear your stories instead of mine that ruin the day and sometimes brighten things up. Can we go back to when I didn't tell you this useless stuff about me that didn't hurt you to when I stopped being happy? Can we please? Like it never happened and you can smile again? Don't worry about me I'll be fine I am so serious about this I will be! It will pass quickly, now tell me how are you?
What is this screaming back and forth? Wait am i screaming? What for?... It is like I am but you don't hear a single word. I am not as important as you as one of my greatest friends being happy. Don't loose that because of worthless me! Please don't! I am sorry! Can't you hear it! I am screaming!
...and it is like you don't hear a word past me trying to get rid if this sadness I have caused. I'm sorry... so sorry...