I know this update is late, but it's long, that's something right? :D

And also I got a review from ALittleFlower, since you're a guest I can't PM. I'd love to draw something but unfortunately I'm not a very good drawer, but feel free (And everyone else of course) To draw something about this story. I would be honored. And I would love to see a drawing from my own Story xD Feed the hungry writer ^^

~And I've completely lost myself, and I don't mind.
I can't say no to you~

Raph groaned slightly when he slowly drifted towards consciousness. And the first thing he remembered was the capture. His brothers being taken from him, and his beating. He whimpered slightly. He wanted to go home. He never felt so vulnerable and hurt.

He knew he still had to be there. His whole body was hurting. The wounds on his plastron were stinging and throbbing so badly, he just wanted to get rid of the pain he was feeling. And he hated himself for being so weak.

He didn't know how long he had been out. The last thing he remembered was slipping into his shell. The images of his plastron being cut open. Long scrapes and cuts along the hard armor. Blood seeping through the wounds.

"Raphael" Raph shot his eyes open when he heard the voice. It was hollow and sounded so far away. Someone was close by. Someone was near him and he was in no condition to protect himself. But that wouldn't stop him from trying. A cold hand was placed on his shoulder. White pain exploded behind his eyes and he shot up.

"G-Get away!" Raph screamed, his voice cracking from the pain. Everything was hurting around him but he could one think of one thing, get away from him.

"Calm down man!" Another voice screamed. Raph cowered slightly in fear upon hearing the loud voice but quickly recovered and lashed out. He could feel his fist connecting with something hard and he tossed the figure as hard as he could against the wall. He crunched as a searing pain shot right through his arm and he was just in time to avoid another punch.

Everything around him was a blur. Only dark shadows were surrounding him. He couldn't see anything, only the shadows of his captors. His legs were buckling under him but he would fight, save his brothers and go home.

He lashed out again and smirked slightly when his hands brushed along some glassed but seconds after that a strong arm wrapped around his body. Almost as it was trying to give him a hug. Raph let out a piercing scream and squirmed out of his hold. His heart was racing and his body was shaking so badly.

He screamed again when he felt the cold hand touching his shoulder again and with a quick jump he backed. His shell hardly hit the wall behind him and he cursed himself. He was cornered and the shadow was approaching him.

"S-stay away!" His voice sounded so hurt and he hated himself for that. More voices echoed through the room but he couldn't make them out. He was only focused on the shadow in front of him. Slowly approaching him. He let out a large growl and threw one of the glasses towards the shadows. The shadow ducked and Raph could hear the glass shatter behind the figure.

"My son, it is alright" It didn't seem right. His father was supposed to say this. Not this evil shadow. The shadow kneeled down and stretched out a hand. Raph whimpered slightly and pushed himself against the corner. He could feel the glass in his shivering hand, and he was ready to throw it if the creature would take one more step.

A gasp came from the left and from the corners of his eyes he saw another shadow appearing. This one was slightly smaller. But his eyes kept focusing on the shadow. He couldn't deny he was afraid but he kept looking at him. If you only dare to take another step. His hands were shivering so badly and his knees were about to give in.

"My son, please you are save" There it was again. The hollow voice. Raph growled slightly and tried to support himself against the wall. He felt so weak and his knees were about to give in any second now.

"Raphael, you are home. You have nothing to be afraid of" The hollow voice tried again but Raph just growled again. He bared his teeth and tightened the grip on the glass. Raph's eyes widened when the shadow started to approach him and then the glass shattered in his hands. He was barely aware of the glass entering his skin. The only thing he was seeing was the shadow. And then everything went black.

His eyes were still closed when he regained consciousness again. The soft fur of his father under his head. The chest slowly rising up again. He didn't want to ruin the moment. It had been so long since he had actually done this. When they were younger they would often sleep with their father because it gave them comfort and while they weren't, Splinter was always very warm.

And now, laying here, he realized how much he had missed it. He didn't want to ruin the moment, and he didn't want to wake.

He couldn't believe he had attacked Casey and his own father. He was sure they had to hate him, but his father was still here. An arm wrapped around his shoulder. Allowing Raph to sleep on his chest. The slowly rising and falling of his chest seemed to calm down the distressed turtle.

He wanted to wake up, he really did but somehow he couldn't. Something was holding him back and he just continued to listen to his father's steady heartbeat.

"My son" Splinter said in a calm tone. Almost immediately Raph cracked his eyes open. He winced slightly when a bright light entered his eyes. He groaned in protest and shifted slightly. Wincing at the pain it caused him. And when he looked down on his plastron he saw it was heavily bandaged.

"What happened?" His voice was still so weak and he hated it. He hated being injured. It made him think he was weak. And the thing he didn't want to be was being weak.

"You are home. We rescued you last night and brought you here." Splinter said in a calm tone and handed Raph a glass of water. Raph gratefully accepted the water and allowed his father to help him while sitting straight up. He bit his lip slightly and tried to ignore the pain it caused him and drank the glass of water.

"A-and… and my brothers?" He almost whispered and dropped his head slightly. Releasing the glass on his bed. Splinter sighed and took away the empty glass. His warm hand grabbed Raphael's cold one and slowly began to stroke it.

"They are all here and alive." Splinter assured him and planted a kiss on Raph's temple. The red banded turtle snorted weakly. He liked his father treating him with so much care but at the same time he didn't. He was never the sentimental type but he felt comfortable being with his father.

"Don't gimme that" Raph huffed. "I saw what they did ta Donnie and Leo. And I know what they did ta Mikey. So jus' tell ma"

Splinter sighed again. "Leonardo has woken up but he locks himself inside his room. He thinks it was his fault and he has failed you" Splinter said truthfully. Raph shivered slightly and dropped his head again. He had seen the way Leo was looking at him while he was on the table. The hurt expression on his face. The pleads for them to stop.

"Michelangelo is out of his room. He was the first one to come out. He is physically fine but his mind has been damaged. His hands were duct-taped, he was branded and the collar is still around his neck" Splinter continued and looked towards his second oldest son. Guilt and hurt flashed through his eyes as he slowly took in all the information about his brothers.

"Why is he still wearing the collar?" Raph whispered silently.

"We don't have the right tools to do so. Casey and April are out for supplies and they will help to find something to free Michelangelo from the collar" Splinter said. Raph kept his eyes fixed on the wall in front of him. It was just too much. Hearing how his brothers were doing. And somehow he was hoping his father wouldn't tell how Donnie was doing, but he did.

"Donatello is also out of his room and is currently occupying the couch. But he is very distressed about what happened to him and he blames himself." Raph swallowed heavily upon hearing that. He could still see Donnie writhing in pain, electricity cursing through his body. And it should've been him.

Raph frowned slightly. Donnie was distressed, yes. But after he managed to calm him down he was taking it fairly well. "Why?" Raph whispered and looked towards his father. Donnie wasn't so devastated by the incident. And he certainly did not blame himself.

Splinter wasn't actually surprised Raphael didn't know what has happened to Donatello. From the few things Michelangelo and Donatello had told him he knew they were separated from each other. And only saw each other rarely.

Splinter reached out for Raph's hand again and held it close to himself. "Donatello was…. " Splinter swallowed heavily. It pained himself to say this. "He was raped my son"

TMNT

Mikey was still sitting on the same table. Lost in his own thoughts and trying to ignore the itchy feeling around his neck. He knew they were trying to get it off but he just hoped they would be quick. He couldn't stand feeling the iron around his neck. It reminded him how he was owned. And he could still feel Thorn tugging him like some trained dog.

The words that were thrown towards him. He shivered slightly as he intentionally touched the burn mark on his arm again. He sighed and dropped his hands again. Splinter had said it would never go away. It pained him to say but he knew he had to be honest with his son.

And somehow Mikey was glad he was honest with him, but it still hurt knowing it would never go away. And he would forever be reminded of what happened.

He knew Donnie was sleeping in the living room and somehow he couldn't stand having his brother. Just hours before he had seen him once and he just completely froze. And he knew Donnie was feeling the same thing. He didn't hate his brother, he wasn't afraid of him. It was just that he saw everything that has happened.

They forced him to watch as they touched Donnie everywhere. Some parts that shouldn't even be touched. He remember the things that were said. And the things he was forced to do. He just couldn't. He couldn't relive that, and he couldn't let Donnie relive that too.

A few silent footsteps were approaching him and he looked up to see his father walking towards him. Carrying Raph. Mikey shifted uneasily on his chair and he looked towards his older brother. "Raph?" He whispered.

Raph also noticed him and looked into the eyes of his baby brother. "Hey" Raph said in a low tone and tried to avoid Mikey's eyes. He was ashamed of himself. Being carried around by his father like a helpless turtle. But somehow he knew he was. He couldn't even properly walk on his own. Which he would've done otherwise.

"You both must be hungry, I will make you something to eat" Splinter said as he carefully lowered Raph onto the chair. Raph gritted his teeth slightly but didn't make a sound. His plastron was hurting so badly but he wasn't about to show it.

"I'm not hungry" Mikey whispered as he tried to keep the hurt out of his voice and slowly stood up, running out of the kitchen. And as fast as he could past the sleeping Donatello. Memories continuously flashing in front of him.

"I know you love it ugly mutant"

"You like it don't you?"

"Don't hold back, it'll be easier if you don't"

He had no idea why he was remembering this now. It shouldn't be. This wasn't Donnie he was facing. It was Raph. He wasn't the one being raped, so why did he get all those flashbacks? He ran and only dared to stop when he was sure he was far away from everyone. He sniffled slightly and looked around. Only then he saw he was in the lab.

More tears made their way down his cheek as he saw where he was. This was always the place he would go to when he was sad or hurt. Donnie would always be here and would always cheer him up again when he was feeling sad. He fell to the ground and curled himself up into a ball. His small hands encircled the collar and he shivered slightly. He buried his head into his knees and continued to cry.

TMNT

~Alright mostly I don't do this but since Playtime2017 wanted me to go into Donnie something more I'll make an exception. So mature items here!~

Cold air was all around him. Sounds were echoing through the room and shadows were hovering over him. Mikey was crying in the corner and he desperately tried to block it out. But it wasn't working, and he was forced to listen to Mikey's pleads and the things that were said to him.

"You can't deny your body. I know you love it" Thorn whispered in his ear as he continued to stroke up and down Donnie's member. Donnie whimpered slightly and squeezed his eyes. Thorn's hands were rough and his whole body was shivering from the treatment.

Donnie's eyes widened in shock when he felt his tongue slowly trailing over his lower plastron. He whimpered and tried to close his legs but they were still strapped, spread wide apart. Hands were massaging his inner thighs while Thorn continued his way downwards. Enclosing on his member.

"Just let it all out, don't hold back" Nighwatch whispered in his ear as Thorn continued with his member.

"F-Fuck you!" Mikey screamed as Donnie tried to squirm out of his position which made Thorn grab his member only harder.

"Not yet turtle, not yet" Thorn snickered as he stood right upwards again, looking over to Mikey. With a sinister smile he reached for his belt and slowly began to take it off. Mikey's eyes widened when he realized what he was about to do.

Thorn lowered his pants and then his underwear. Showing his own member proudly to the young turtle. Donnie whimpered from the table as Nighwatch started to wrap around his tail. Slowly pulling and pinching it.

Thorn gave a wink to the small turtle and then turned back to Donnie. Climbing on top of him. Donnie only whimpered behind the tape as he realized what Thorn was about to do. He squeezed his eyes further shut and just prayed for it to be over soon before Thorn slowly slit in.

TMNT

"Master Splinter" April said when she entered the kitchen together with Casey. He was still a bit weak from Raph's attack but it wasn't a very serious wound so he was able to walk around again. They were both carrying a lot of supplies for their mutated friends. A lot of pizza, new medical stuff, aspirins and a lot of things to comfort them as much as they could.

"Hello April" Master Splinter said calmly and took another sip of his tea. April walked over to the table and placed the bags on the table with a smile.

"I brought everything you requested. We couldn't find something to help Mikey. I'm sorry" April said slightly disappointed as she began to unpack the bags.

"Do not fret April. We will find a way. I am already glad you are willing to help us so much, I cannot thank you enough" Splinter said softly and placed the cup of tea in front of him. Also standing up to help April unpack everything.

"How's Raph?" April asked after a while. When they entered the lair they discovered Raph had passed out on the couch, on the other side of where Donnie was sleeping. And while Donnie was still curled up into a ball, desperately clutching his blanket. Raph was completely still and lying flat on his shell.

"he has woken up an hour ago. He is fine April. He is just tired. And his body and his mind needs to heal" Splinter said with grief in his voice. He then turned to Casey. Who was now sitting on the chair. "Casey, Raphael is feeling guilty for what he has done. I am sorry to ask you but I think it would be best if you would talk to him"

Casey perked up slightly upon the request and frowned slightly. He didn't want his best friend to feel guilty because of the incident. He knew Raph was scared and he didn't blame him.

"Of course I will. I'm jus' not very good with talking y'know?" Casey said as he slowly stood up.

"Do not worry. Words won't always solve problems. Being there for him will most likely be enough for him. To know you don't blame him for what he has done." Splinter said in a calm tone as he put away the last can of food and continued to the other supplies. Casey rubbed the bump on his head and grinned sheepishly before walking out of the kitchen.

"How is the rest? Where are Mikey and Leo?" April asked as she filled the basic aid-kit with some aspirins and some light sedatives. Splinter sighed again and took a seat.

"Michelangelo has run out when I entered with Raphael, he's taking all of this very hard, and Leonardo is still in his room. He hasn't come out yet" April's face switched slightly. Poor guys. She knew how hard Leo and Mikey were taking all of this. Unlike Raph and Donnie they weren't hurt physically. But mostly mentally. Leo was hurt physically too but the most damage was mentally.

And she knew how Leo could blame himself when something would happen to any of his brothers. But this was just ridiculous. Even after talking to April he wouldn't come out of his room. Saying he couldn't possibly face his brothers. That he had failed them and they would certainly hate him. Even though April said this wasn't true.

"I'll go see if he needs something" April said after an uncomfortable silence and stood up. Walking silently passed the living room, carrying a plate of food. Donnie was still curled up on the couch and Raph was still motionless sleeping on his shell. Casey holding his hand. She'd never seen Casey with such care but she knew that under all the muscles and the taunts Casey could be –and was- a very sentimental boy.

Who cared deeply for his father and his little sister. But also for Raph. And April couldn't help but to smile slightly seeing Casey like this. It was a side of him she rarely saw but nice to look at.

Making sure she wouldn't wake up the sleeping turtles she continued to walk towards Leo's room and shortly knocked on his door.

No answer. April frowned slightly and knocked again. Again there was no answer. She frowned again and slowly pushed open the door. It was dark in his room and she blindly reached for the light. When the light was turned on she froze in place. The plate shattered on the ground and opened her mouth but no sound came out.

She turned around and ran as fast as she could back to the kitchen. Splinter curiously looked up when he saw April running towards him.

"Leo's gone!"

TMNT

I know Raph is a bit out of character here but just remember he is petrified by what happened and devastated by the news of his brothers so yea….

And I can't believe I just wrote that flashback of Donnie. And Leo's gone? :0

Reviews are highly appreciated :D