~The tragedy of this world is that no one is happy, whether stuck in a time of pain or of joy. Alan Lightman~

"It is alright my sons" Splinter soothed as he pulled out of the hug. He gave a shallow laugh and wiped the tears from Donatello's face, but more came. Everyone was staring at Donnie, expecting him to talk but he didn't. He couldn't talk about what happened after he had to relive it already. When Mikey told the story.

"I was led to a large room by Nighwatch' clone and then began beating me" Raph decided to help him out. Everyone turned to Raph, who was just staring towards the ceiling, still unable to stand or sit up. "It hurt and then they strapped me down on some table, and then they brought in Donnie" Raph said, trying to keep the hurt out of his voice.

"Apparently I blacked out cus when I woke up, Donnie was there. And then…. they brought in Leo" He took a deep breath while telling the story, it still hurt him to think about it. The mixed feelings he had right there. He hated Leo, he really did hate him for choosing Donnie, but on the other hand he didn't. It was so weird to explain.

"We were c-connected with these wires….. and Leo had to choose, me or Don" Raph explained and looked up towards Leo, who was now facing the ground again, guilt written all over his face. "He choose Donnie" He said after that. You could just feel the tension rising in the whole room when Raph told what Leo had to do.

"I hated you Leo, I really did. But on the other hand I didn't. I didn't know what to feel. We promised ta protect them Leo, so why?" Raph growled and managed to sit up completely and looked Leo directly in the eyes. He felt so much anger towards Leo when he remembered what he did, but he also knew he couldn't blame Leo. And he didn't.

"I-I don't know what to think Leo!" He practically screamed and hid his face in his hands.

"It's okay that you hate me" Leo whispered and looked down again. He was defeated. He already knew that Raph hated him so this wasn't new to him. He knew Raph was blaming him, he knew he had made the wrong decision, every choice would be the wrong one. Raph or Donnie, every choice was wrong.

"I don't" Raph whispered. "I said it hated you but…. aargh I'm just so confused Leo! I hate you but at the same time I don't. I just…. Why? Why did you do it?" Raph ranted and leaned back slightly, feeling the familiar pain in his chest again. Leo looked up with confusion.

"I had to choose Raph. But I couldn't" Leo whispered and allowed his tears to drop. "I couldn't favor any of you…. I love you three so very much" Leo continued while his shoulders began to shook. Raph frowned, he had never thought about this. How much it had hurt him, having to choose between his brothers. Donnie or Mikey, he would've never made a choice. He couldn't.

"Y-you were injured and the electricity c-could kill you" Leo continued and angrily wiped away his tears. "I never wanted to. Why couldn't they just hurt me!" But before Leo could continue Raph had already wrapped his arms around his older brother.

"Ya didn't hurt Don. Those freaks did. I don't hate ya" Raph whispered and pressed Leo's head against his sore plastron. He winced slightly but didn't pull his head away. It was worth it. Leo allowed it and hid his face in Raph's plastron. Something they had done so long ago. They were always close, even if they fought. And they could always comfort each other.

"Thanks Raph" Leo smiled as he pulled out of the hug. Raph gave a sarcastic snort but smiled afterwards. He was never the type that would hug often, and he would never admit it felt good hugging Leo. Finally able to comfort him again, and be comforted.

"No problem" Raph gestured and then turned to the rest of his family, realizing he still had to continue the story. "Like Mikey said, we were then brought together and the next day we had to come with this crazy woman, otherwise they would hurt Mikey and Don." Raph exclaimed. The two youngest frowned as Raph explained. Splinter just signed for his son to continue.

"I was strapped down on ta table and Leo was paralyzed or something" Raph explained and glanced over to Leo. Seeing his face shifting. He knew how Leo must be feeling. Guilty. He felt guilty for not being able to protect his family, and on top of all, he wasn't even strapped down. He could just walk away but they paralyzed him, and he hated it.

"T-they injected ma with this c-chemical. It burned, it b-burned so badly" Raph said as the first tears also stained his cheeks. He rarely cried but it was just too painful to remember. The pain he felt, the feeling of weakness. "I screamed, t-they continued to inject m-me and it h-hurt so much" Raph squeezed his eyes shut for a second before he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder. He looked up and saw it was Leo, Raph nodded slightly before turning to his family again.

"Then s-she began to cut m-my plastron. And I screamed!" He shouted the last part and angrily punched into the couch. Tears staining his cheeks.

"My son, nobody blames you for it" Splinter said in a calm tone. He knew his sons very well, and one thing about Raph, he barely screamed. He barely cried and more important, he barely showed any emotion. And hearing he screamed pained him. Raph was blaming himself for being weak, while none of them blamed him.

"Yea…" Raph breathed out. He knew nobody blamed him, he just couldn't help it but to blame himself. "A-after that I was taken away and…. I s-slipped in ma shell" Raph told with slight embarrassment. He knew there was no reason to. Everyone had hid in his shell numerous times, but still. They never stayed in their shells for a whole days, mostly it was just a few minutes, an hourat most.

"The next moment I-I woke up at home" He finished his story and looked over to Casey. "And I'm sorry man, fer hurting ya" He whispered the last part. He was never good with apologizing. But he felt so guilty, he had hurt Casey, thrown him against the wall. Of course he had already said sorry but he still couldn't forgive himself.

"Like I said. Don't mention it, really" Casey shrugged it off and smiled, but Raph couldn't help but to wince at the sight of the large bruise on his cheek, and probably the wound on his head. "Besides ya did worse when I first met ya" He joked, and despite everything they went through, Raph smiled slightly.

Alright my chapters are getting worse xD I'm just not good with the sentimental talk and all ^^