Chapter 3

Ziad began gathering a posse of first-years from his Defense Against the Dark Arts class. It was, at least at first, a "study-group." As part of the curriculum for this study-group, Ziad had his followers-er... friends read The Communist Manifesto, Quotations from Chairman Mao Tse-tung, and the Quran. They met daily for an hour in the library.

"Now... Let's begin our meeting. None of your parents work for the ministry. Most of you are muggle-born or half-blood. You are learning nothing from Umbridge. You have read the books. Now... We shall become a group worthy of the history books. As of now, we are no longer a group of friends studying for a worthless class. We are henceforth... Tehrik-i-Taliban Hogwarts- The Student Movement of Hogwarts. You will refer to me as The Director. Our goal is the annihilation of any infidel Ministry of magic influence on this great institution of learning. We will not shy away from extreme mischief and misinformation. Inshallah, we shall smite our foe off the face of... ah... the school. Sorry, I got a little carried away right there."

The first-years- Taliban- students... They stared at him. Ziad knew he had chosen right when their jaws clenched, the foreheads creased, and they nodded. One slammed his fist against his chest and shouted "Allahu Akbar!"

A group of third year Ravenclaws hushed him angrily.

"Allahu Akbar!" he whispered, somewhat sheepishly.

"From now you will not speak to each other of this business. When I plan a mission, I will give it to one or two of you. I will give you the briefing orally. Nothing will be written down as evidence. You will speak to nobody about this mission- you will simply carry it out. Meeting adjourned."

Ziad left the library in the most ostentatiously stealthy way possible, because it was awesome. He whistled and walked rather jauntily- he was sort of understanding why his father had done what he did. Minus the killing and hatred of an entire race, of course. The stealthy organization bit was indeed rather fun. Ziad just hoped there wouldn't be any airstrikes, car-bombings, or invasions in this case.

He wasn't really paying attention when he bumped into somebody.

"Sorry, pardon me." He began moving past.

"Excuse me, you filthy paki mudblood."

Ziad stopped and turned around. A blond little rat fifth-year Slytherin was sneering at him.

"I'm Arab, you ignorant twat. I won't contest the mudblood bit, but never call me a paki."

Damn this stuck-up elitist for ruining his satisfaction!

"You must be that Malfoy kid everyone hates. Must be fun, you know. Being so universally despised."

"Like you even know. You may be older than me, but I know more magic than you ever will."

Ziad punched him in the gut and turned away.

"Sure seemed to help you there, didn't it?"

He chuckled and began walking away.

"Stupefy!"

"Dammit."

For the second time, the world went black.

"Who's he? I think I've seen him in a couple of DA meetings. He's... Kind of cute, wouldn't you say?"

"Ssshh! I think he's waking up!"

Ziad ran a systems diagnostic. It turned up surprisingly well, considering the fall he had undoubtedly suffered. He wiggled his feet and hands to make sure he wasn't paralyzed. He wasn't.

That's a relief.

Ok... Eyes. Hmm... Ok, yeah, they work.

There were two dark-skinned girls peering down at him like a scientist would look at a specimen under a microscope.

"Hi..." he croaked, "Now, could you tell me if I have any major visible injuries? Like, I don't look Pakistani, do I?"

"Oooh no I wouldn't say so. Not Indian either. We should know."

"Allahu akbar... I don't suppose one of you could, you know, help me up?"

"Oooh sorry. Yeah."

He stood up and brushed dust off his robes. "Thanks. I'm Ziad Jarrah, I think I've seen you in a DA meeting?"

"Yeah, I think so. I'm Parvati Patil and this is my sister Padma."

"Mhmm... Well... I suppose I should get back to... Wherever it was I was going. Crap. I forgot where that is."

"Uh huh.." The two girls smirked and walked away, whispering madly to each other.

Ziad sighed, and decided he was probably going to the common room to read, which he did.

When Valentine's Day rolled around, Ziad decided to figure out what all the fuss was about. After all, according to the Imam at his mosque in Beirut (who was later found dead next to an AK-47 in Afghanistan in 2003), it seemed to be just about the most blasphemous and decadent of Western infidel holidays, which meant it was probably a lot of fun.

Since everyone was leaving for Hogsmeade (whatever that was), Ziad decided he would follow the crowd. Unfortunately, he saw each student being checked for papers. He hung back and watched. The system seemed remarkably similar to the system used at Hezbollah or Israeli Army checkpoints, which Ziad had bluffed or cheated his way through many times.

He saw the two girls, Parvati and Padma, making their way towards the one-Filch checkpoint. He joined them and engaged them in conversation as they handed their papers to Filch. Ziad just sort of looked confident, never looked at Filch, and maintained his conversation.

The cleared the checkpoint, no questions.

Parvati laughed, "That was smooth, Ziad. You look like you've done that before."

"Yeah, back when I was in Lebanon, there were Hezbollah or militia checkpoints all over the place. When I visited my Father in the Gaza strip, there were dozens of Israeli army checkpoints. I'm a pro."

They continued talking about checkpoints until the subject drew itself to a close, which was rather quickly, as it is a rather limiting subject. The two girls began gossiping, as girls are wont to do, it seems. Ziad sighed, and zoned out, because he honestly didn't know enough people to effectively gossip.

"... So Harry and Cho are going to Madam Puddifoots, did you hear?"

Ziad zoned back in. Harry and Cho was something he was actively encouraging, because he still felt exceedingly guilty about interrupting them that one time before Christmas, and had been trying to make it up to the both of them ever since.

"Where's Madam Puddifoots? I need to make sure this works. I owe them a big one." he said emphatically. The twins looked at him with surprise, before grinning and saying, "Follow us."

Ten minutes later, Ziad was staring at the strangest cafe he'd ever seen. It was... ahem... pink. And definitely feminine. Very much so. Inside, he could see Harry and Cho somewhat awkwardly staring at each other, Cho clearly on the verge of tears. Crap. Time for some drastic action to save the day. Ziad rooted through his bag, and found what he was looking for.

Parvati and Padma shivered in the doorway of the tea shop.

"What'd he say he was going to do?"

"He didn't."

"Oh."

After a few more painful minutes, Cho mentioned Umbridge. Harry seized on the subject with relief and they passed a few happy moments abusing her, but the subject had already been so thoroughly canvassed during DA meetings it did not last very long. Silence fell again. Harry was very conscious of the slurping noises coming from the table next door and cast wildly around for something else to say.

"Er... Listen, d'you want to come with me to the-..."

At that moment, a figure wearing a ski mask and a camouflage jacket burst into the tea shop, jumped on to Harry and Cho's table, and fired sparks into the air.

"I am The Director! I represent Tehrik-i-Taliban Hogwarts! I am here to declare our Jihad against the imperialist crusaders of the Ministry of Magic and their agents at our glorious school! Only a few among the student body have braved the wrath of the great satan Umbridge! I declare Tehrik-i-Taliban's allegiance with Harry Potter! Allahu Akbar!"

The masked figure grabbed Harry's hand and lifted into the air like a boxer who had just knocked down his opponent.

"Together we shall eliminate the great satan! Thank you, Harry Potter! Thank you, Cho Chang, for standing by him in this great struggle!"

Cho blushed, all tears and awkwardness forgotten.

The waitress just stared at the masked figure, who smashed his chest with his fist before running out the back door.

Parvati and Padma were still shivering when Ziad appeared from behind the tea shop, chuckling to himself.

"I always wanted to do that!"

"Do what?"

"I'm sure you'll find out soon enough. Now, somebody said something about a candy shop...?"

The three of them walked off through the snow.

Author's Note:

I'm starting to get the feel of this. I wrote ch. 2 while in class, and this when I got home.

I hope to update with at least a short chapter daily, at least for a little while.