~I'm just trying to breathe, just trying to figure it out.
Because I built these walls to watch them crumbling down~

Donnie nervously twitched his fingers as everyone was watching him. He didn't like it but he wasn't as terrified as before. He could bear everyone staring at him, but it made him nervous. Raph had still some dried tears on his face and was lightly leaning against Leo for some comfort, while Donnie was still wrapped up in the blanket with Mikey.

"They did it for so long" Donnie whispered and glanced up, meeting their confused gazes. "The electrocution I mean" He added hesitantly and bit his lip when he saw the look on Leo's face. No matter how many times they'd told Leo not to blame himself, he kept doing it.

"I don't blame you Leo, I asked you to choose me. To spare Raph" Donnie explained when nobody said something. Leo just shrugged and looked away from Donnie and his family, biting his own lip to prevent his tears from falling down.

"After t-that they brought me to the r-rest." Donnie said softly and gestured to his brothers. Splinter nodded as an indicator he could continue and Donnie opened his mouth once again "W-when Mikey and I woke up…. Y-you guys weren't t-there. I was s-scared for you guys" Donnie whispered and clenched the blanket slightly tighter.

Nobody interrupted Donnie and just waited for him to continue. He quickly glanced over to Mikey who was sitting next to him, wrapped in the same blanket. His face was to the ground and he just stared with dull eyes, but there was also a hint of relief in it.

Raph was now fully leaning against Leo's plastron. Happily listening to the heartbeat of his older brother and leader. And Leo was fully welcoming his little brother to lean against him. An arm over Raph's shoulder, snuggling him close.

Splinter was patiently sitting and waiting for his second youngest to continue with his confession. He also knew this was hard for each one of them, and he was willing to wait as long as necessary if it meant his sons would heal in time. April and Casey were also listening, and they too were completely quiet, listening to the things their mutant friends endured. And it horrified them.

"A-and then t-they came f-for me and M-Mikey…" He stopped and swallowed a choked sob and breathed in slightly. "T-They strapped m-me d-down and… and…. t-then" Donnie tried but every attempt he made ended up in him crying so much he couldn't continue.

"T-they m-made Mikey w-watch when… " Donnie started again. "They r-raped me" He choked out and burst into tears. Mikey reached out for his older brother and drew him closed to his body. Nuzzling his own face in Donnie's shoulder.

Donnie was stunned for a few seconds but when Mikey wrapped his, relatively, short arms around his shivering body Donnie wiped away his tears and wrapped his own arm around Mikey's body and stared to his feet again. He could feel the breathing of his little brother in his neck and it calmed him down in some way.

"Why..?" Donnie whispered silently to his little brother, ignoring the shocked expressions of his family. Mikey shouldn't be here. He was forced to watch him getting raped. He shouldn't want to be around him.

"N-no matter what they do. Y-you'll always be m-my big brother" Mikey whispered, unable to hide his own tears and drew Donnie even closer. The tall turtle sighed and smiled slightly before facing his family again.

"That was very brave my son" Splinter approved and gave a shallow smile to his second youngest son. Donnie just shrugged slightly and wiped his tears away with the blanket, which was still tightly wrapped around his and Mikey's body.

"Leonardo, would you like to share your story with us?" Splinter said and turned to his oldest. Leo was still glancing to the side, completely ignoring his brothers and family. He shrugged slightly and slowly turned his face to his brother.

"Not much to tell" He whispered and swallowed deeply, trying to force back the tears which threatened to come. Splinter's face flushed when he heard the defeated voice of his oldest.

"My son…" He started and frowned slightly. Leo bit his lip and angrily wiped away his tears who slipped past his eyes. He didn't need to tell something, he didn't have something to tell. Nothing happened to him. He failed his family, and his family got hurt, not him. Not bad at least.

"What, nothing happened to me" Leo said under his breath and looked away again. Splinter wanted to say something but Leo spoke first. "I failed them Sensei, no matter what you say I still failed them! They got hurt, not me" Leo spoke up and wiped his new tears away.

Raph's plastron was cut and beaten, until he was so scared that he slipped into his shell for more than a day. Donnie was electrocuted because of him, and on top of that also raped. And Mikey had to watch when they raped him. And he was still stuck with the brand mark and the collar. He couldn't complain, he shouldn't be complaining.

"My Son, every one of you suffering the last couple of days, and that includes you. You may not be hurt physically" He said, gesturing to the bruises and his broken arm. Clearly adding some sarcasm. "But you are hurt mentally. What they did to you was mentally"

Leo frowned and looked up to his father. "I failed them" He whispered once again.

"Stop that" Raph growled and pulled away from his older brother. "Nobody is blaming ya fearless. Ya didn't fail us Leo. Never think that. Those creeps did dis ta us, not you. I though ya were off the guilt train" Raph hissed.

"Raph" Leo whispered. Despite the tone there was absolute no anger in his voice. It was concern. He was concerned for his older brother.

"No Leo, ya have to stop blaming yerself. None of this was yer fault. Nobody blames ya" Raph continued his ranting and glanced over to his father, who nodded to him. He glanced back to Leo. He was blaming himself, beating himself up so much for what has happened. So much he didn't even notice nobody was blaming him.

"But I failed you, I hurt Donnie, Mikey and you. I couldn't protect you …." Leo started but was cut off when Raph wrapped his arms around Leo and pulled him closer. Ignoring his chest in the meantime and just kept Leo closely to his plastron.

"Never Fearless, we could never blame ya" Raph whispered so nobody could hear it. Leo squeezed his eyes shut and forced his tears to fall past them. He wrapped his own arms around Raph's body and nuzzled his face in Raph's shoulder. Crying his heart out.

Donnie wiped away his own tears and brought Mikey closer to himself. Wrapping the blanket tighter around them. Mikey sighed in approval and leaned towards his older brother. Resting his head on Donnie's shoulder.

Splinter smiled at the sight of his sons. They were hurt, and broken but they were seeking comfort with each other. And that was something that would eventually bring them together again. And even Casey was smiling at the sight. Sure he may have some issues sometimes with Donnie but that didn't mean he hated him, he hated seeing him like this. He hated seeing any of his friends like this. Every single one of them.

April smiled as she looked at them. They weren't back to their old selves, and they would never be. That was something they all knew, but they were recovering. She frowned when she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. Without anyone noticing it she grabbed her phone and opened it.

Everything is set, the package is here. You can come over. Love you, Dad.

April's smile grew wider and she turned to her mutant friends again. It was time they finally put this behind them.

TMNT

Bad ending? ^^

And I'm so bad with the sentimental talk xD But at least I updated :D Test week started today and end next week. But I have two more days to study so I decided to update this one. It has been like 4-5 days I guess? I will try to write the last 2-3 chapters asap ^^ And thank you so much for all the reviews!