Chapter 58

There have been flyers and posters informing the town of Jacob's disappearance, but no one knows anything about it.

That's what prompted me to tell Alice the story. She's been processing it since 5th period this morning. We are sited at the play-house that Mr. Whitlock bought Rosalie –Alice's foster sister, for her 8th birthday 11 years ago.

I hear Jasper- Alice's other foster sibling, he's been bouncing a basketball over at the hoop installed over the garage door. He's been too observant these past days. He stares at Alice a lot, he's been friendly but still brotherly, he used to tease her a lot, but now seams to be more considerate, and very appreciative of her, yesterday he baked cookies with us and then took us to the video store, and let us pick what ever we wanted.

Yeah, for a guy he is not very subtle.

He's only 2 years older then us and for an 16 year old to be spending so much time with his younger sister and best friend when he could be hanging out with his friends and hot girls his age is quite odd.

Alice hands me a paintbrush and some blue paint. I've been painting here in this little play-house for almost 3 years now. She is the best friend a girl could have, she knows about my obsession with painting and creating, I used to rip the pages out of the books and make collages; the walls in my room are still covered in images of my past.

Charlie and Renee don't like this, they're very conservative about this, they want me to appear as a normal girl, but, what's normal?

So my walls look like a prison since I used to keep time by marking the walls or draw eyes and hands that where always appearing in my dreams while I was younger.

I hadn't had bad dreams in a really long time, of course I suffer from insomnia, but I used to be able to sleep at leased 2 to 3 hours straight. But now, after what happen with Jacob, I haven't had a wink of sleep in 2 weeks.

I feel Alice's hesitation as she hands me the other plastic plate with the different blobs of colors, she seams afraid to touch me, we used to hug and kiss each other's checks in greeting but now she's even afraid to graze my hand while she hands me the plate.

I know what she feels. I'm afraid to touch her too.

The afternoon passes quickly; Alice goes inside and brings out a plate with food for me. I've stayed here since we got back from school. I'm not hungry, I fell sick, and my stomach feels full but tender.

Hours later it's almost 8 and Renee has called Esme –Alice's sweet mom, asking for me, she wants me to stay over here, so that she can go out to her bridge night with her friends. I hear Esme tell her that it's fine, that I can stay, she comes closer to the play-house and picks inside, she smiles at me and hands me a glass of milk and a plate of cookies. –"Don't stay out here too long Bella, it's getting chilly tonight, won't want you to get sick, sweetie"-she smiles at me, brushing her soft fingers over my checks. She's always been so nice and caring; I feel jealous and wish that she'd be my mom. But I'm stuck with Renee, she's cold and indifferent of me, and since I don't make an effort to be liked by her, she thinks me difficult and odd.

I eat the cookies and drink the milk and stare at the pink walls, I get an idea and start painting again.

It's almost midnight when Alice comes to the little door and knocks, she heads in and stares at the canvas I've been working on. I don't turn to her, I just look at the gray figure. It's frighteningly accurate and the intensity of his expression makes my body quiver in disgust.

-"We should go to sleep"- she whispers near me.

I nod but still don't turn. I feel her warm hand on mine and the flood gates open and I sob. I hadn't been able to let go of this, I hadn't had the time or the space to let my emotions flow. I cry, and cry, she holds me in her strong but small frame, I burry my face against her shoulder and she strokes my hair and shushes me, I feel her understanding and her love.

After we take the canvas outside close to the woods in the back of her house' fence and burn it, I promise myself to never think of this and tell Alice to help me forget, and never talk about it again.