Fortitude
Chapter: 4
Hotchner pushed the door of his room open and let Erin inside. He dropped two bags down on the edge of the bed. "Are you okay?"
Erin looked around the room. The layout was the exact opposite of the room she was sharing with David. She knew that no matter where she laid her head down the nightmare would find her. "I'm afraid to be alone." she answered. "I'm afraid to sleep."
Strong arms wrapped securely around her and she sank into his welcomed embrace. "It's okay." he whispered into blonde tresses. "You don't have to be alone. I'm going to stay with you the entire time."
"I almost lost him." her voice was soft and weak. "All because of something that I was a part of more than a decade ago."
"None of this was your fault, Erin." he gently stroked her hair. "This was all on Curtis. He's the one responsible."
"I wish that made it all better."
"Just breathe, Erin." he said, softly. "I know that your head is spinning right now but you just need to relax and take care of you."
Erin pulled back to look at him. "Thank you."
He brushed a stray tear off her cheek with the back of his finger. "I just want you to be okay."
She nodded. "I will be."
"I know you will." he smiled. "You're one of the strongest women I know. One of the best agents. No one can fire a gun like you can."
Erin arched an eyebrow.
"I haven't forgotten." he told her. "Why don't you take a shower and I'll order you something to eat."
"I grabbed something with Alex."
Hotch shook his head. "You picked over a fruit cup in the hospital cafeteria."
Erin rolled her eyes slightly annoyed that Alex had tipped Hotchner off.
"Come on." he encouraged. "I promised Dave I would take care of you. And you're not making it easy."
"Like you'd expect anything less." she opened one of the bags Hotchner had placed on the bed. Tucked in the inside zipper of David's bag her hand came in contact with a small smooth box. A little black box. "Did you know about this?" she asked him.
"Yes." Aaron replied, snatching it from her hand. "Don't ruin the surprise."
"I kind of already know."
He placed the box back in the bag and zipped it up. "You don't know what it looks like though."
"Do you?" she asked. Silence lingered. "Simple round solitaire?" she asked after a beat.
"Far from."
"Can you at least tell me how long he's been planning this?"
Aaron took her hand in his forcing her to look at him. "What's all this about?"
She shrugged. "Curiosity."
"No." he replied. "It's more than that. What's going on, Erin?"
She let go of his hand. "How can you ask me that?" she walked toward the window. "In the past twenty-four hours David was attacked and almost died. I killed a man. All because Curtis wanted me. Innocent people lost their lives because of what I did over a decade ago."
"And I told you this isn't your fault." he tried to reason with her. "Everything that happened, all that stuff that Curtis did, is on him. Not you."
"That still doesn't change anything that happened, Aaron." she said, tearfully. "It doesn't undo anything that happened and it sure as hell doesn't give me peace of mind. It just doesn't."
He moved toward her. "You need to rest." His hands came to rest on her shoulders. "I know how you feel. Your mind is racing right now. The very best thing to do is just get some rest."
Erin sighed, heavily. Completely defeated. "I'm exhausted." she confessed. "I just don't think I can sleep."
"Are you craving?"
Her eyes met his. The sincerity in them was undoubted. He was probably only one of a few people brave enough to ask her that question. "No." she breathed out. "Not that it hasn't crossed my mind then and again…makes a hell of a numbing agent. But I couldn't. I wouldn't. I've come too far."
Aaron smiled a bit. "That's excellent." he told her. "I'll order us some pasta. You'll take a shower and then I'll lay down with you and we'll both get some rest."
"Okay." she nodded. "Thank you, Aaron."
"What are friends for?"
"Oh, are we friends now?" she smirked.
"Well, I thought so."
"Because of David?"
Hotchner shook his head. "I've always liked you." he told her. "On some level."
"You do make a good sparring partner."
/
Sleep came easily for Erin. Within moments of her head hitting the pillow she was fast asleep. For Hotchner not so much. He laid there on the opposite side of the bed watching her sleep. His own demons were keeping him awake. It took a while to settle them and drift off.
He awoke to the sound of whimpering. Erin was battling something within her unconscious state. The last thing he wanted to do was startle her awake. He moved closer wrapping his arm around her sleeping form. Within moments she relaxed and he drifted back off to sleep.
When Erin opened her eyes she found Hotchner in her direct line of vision. His arm draped over her waist. Aaron felt her stir and was immediately awake. "You okay?" he asked, sleepily. "Something wrong?"
"No." she replied, brushing blonde locks away from her face. "What time is it?"
He rolled over, and away from her, picking his cell up off the nightstand. "Almost five." he told her. "Feeling better?"
"Not as tired." she rolled over onto her back. "I had a dream…nightmare really."
"About Curtis?" he asked, sitting up. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"I don't really remember it." she replied. "Just that he was there. Taunting me. And then I started dreaming about rollercoasters at Six Flags. You know the Batman one? David was on a case hunting down the Joker."
Hotchner chuckled. "You like rollercoasters?"
"Yeah." she sighed. "Don't you?"
"I just can't quite picture you on a rollercoaster, that's all."
Erin pushed herself up in the bed. "I can't quite picture you as a cuddler either but you've just proven me wrong."
"I was comforting you." he felt the need to explain. "You were having a nightmare."
"Relax, Aaron, I'm just giving you a hard time." she said. "That must have been the reason my dream shifted like it did. Which I'm thankful for so thank you, Aaron."
"You're quite welcome."
"Take me back to the hospital?"
Hotchner nodded. "Of course."
to be continued…