Chapter 22 (For real this time)
Ziad shifted on the hard mattress in the Russian barracks. He stared at the English-language newspaper, his picture plastered across the front. The headlines were as follows:
132 DEAD IN NEW DELHI ATTACK
PAKISTAN SUSPECTED
AT LEAST 200 INJURED
INDIAN AND PAKISTANI DIPLOMATS FURIOUS: IS WAR ON THE TABLE?
THE FACE OF TERROR: WHO IS THIS MAN?
Ziad wasn't exactly pleased with the photograph. His eyes were shut, it was blurry, and he had massive bags under his eyes. Oh, and the fact that it implicated him in a potentially war-inducing terrorist attack that killed over a hundred people.
He wasn't exactly pleased with that, either.
Ziad sighed and tossed the newspaper onto the ground. He lay back on the mattress and shut his eyes.
"Why can't my life be simple?" he groaned.
"Because it's more amusing this way." replied the raspy voice of the Mysterious Man In The Suit.
"And why do you just appear places? Are you a wizard?"
"Well, to make matters easier for you to understand, I shall say that yes, I am a wizard."
"Are you telling the truth?"
"In America they have an interesting thing called the Fifth Amendment, which means that if you 'plead the fifth,' you refuse to answer any question as the implicationsss of the an . . . swer would cause danger to the person involved. And so I 'plead the fifth.'"
Ziad opened his eyes and rolled over to face The Man.
"Why are you so mysterious?"
"It is rather . . . Fun."
"Do you have a reason to keep me from sleeping?" asked Ziad reproachfully.
"Yes."
Ziad waited.
"Well? What's the reason?"
"I have another job for you."
"Son of a bitch. Of course you do. What is it this time? Giving guns to neo-nazis? Murdering orphans? Committing genocide in Africa?"
"Nothing so obscene. No, I want you to investigate something. I can't get there through conventional means, so I want you to bring a trusted advisor to a certain place so you can . . . Observe."
"Who am I bringing, and where?"
The Man chuckled.
"You'll see in due course."
The Man turned to leave.
"Mr. Man? I'll only do it if I see that Shlomi is alive and well."
"Naturally."
Five minutes later, Shlomi was shoved into the room.
"Hey Ziad." he said, voice tired.
"Hey Shlomi. You alright?"
"Yeah."
Shlomi was then dragged out of the room.
The Man reentered.
"Your guest is here."
Another man entered the room. At least, Ziad assumed it was a man. His hair was his defining feature. Long, spiky, and hanging down his right side clearly supported by volumes of product.
The man wore robes. A wizard?
The new man turned to the Suited Man and said, "He looks better in person. That photograph really didn't do him justice."
"Thank you for that. I hate that bloody photo. Anyway, are you a wizard?" asked Ziad.
"In what sense, love?" replied the man in an English accent.
"Magic and stuff."
"Like you? No. In other ways? Yes."
"What other ways?"
The man sighed and glanced at the Man.
"Can I tell him my name?"
"Yes."
"My name is Pete Burns."
Ziad's face was blank.
"Nothing?" asked the man with the hair, somewhat crestfallen. "No reaction?"
"Nope?"
"Are you sure? Pete. Burns. Buuurnnnsss."
"I'm perfectly fluent in English, thank you."
"Fine. I'm the lead singer for Dead or Alive."
Ziad still remained blank.
"Sorry, still nothing."
The man rolled his eyes. His hips started gyrating and he snapped his hands back and forth.
"You spin me right round baby, like a record baby, right round round round..." he sang.
"Ooooohhh! Yeah! That song! You're that guy?"
"Yes. I'm that guy."
Ziad's face broke out into a smile.
"Shlomi loves that song!"
Pete Burns frowned, "Shlomi?"
"He's nobody." said the Man.
Pete Burns shrugged.
"So, are we going there or not?" Pete Burns said, with an exasperated flip of his voluminous hair.
"Where are we going?" asked Ziad.
"We're following Frankie." said Pete Burns with a malicious grin.
"Where's Frankie going?" asked Ziad.
"Frankie is going to Hollywood."
Author's Note:
I sincerely apologize for the lengthy hiatus. Work, holidays, work, exams, laziness, etc. You should understand. As such, I'm trying to ease myself back into Ziad's story.
Plus I think I'll take it for a turn to the ridiculous. It's been getting too serious on me and it shouldn't.
Anyway, cheers.