I've been sitting on this chapter, but decided to go ahead and put it up. I'm not sure how I feel about it. There is a little too much angst, then what I originally wanted in this story.

Chapter 11

Veronica drove them out of Neptune and down the coast. Not far outside Balboa County, she pulled into a small run down motel with an attached diner. Mac sat silently throughout the whole ride.

"Okay, we're here. This is where Wallace used to come in college to study when he needed out of the dorms. Why don't you get us a room and I'll get the comfort food?"

Mac looked over at Veronica for the first time and nodded. They got out of the car and Mac heard the trunk pop open.

"I have a go bag in the trunk with some clothes. I think there is a pair of sweats and pjs in it."

Mac took her time gathering the bag and walking to the lobby. When she got to the front desk her cell phone started to vibrate. She looked down and saw Dick's picture flash on the screen. Mac stared at the screen until the call was pushed over to voicemail. Dick had called a few times during the drive and Mac had stared at it each time trying to decide on whether or not to answer, but she could never decide.

"Can I help you?" The man behind the front desk eyed her up and down.

Mac looked up from her phone that had just pinged with a voicemail to the man behind the counter. "Um…yes. I need a room please."

The man checked her into a room and gave her two keys. Mac left the office and walked up to the room. She texted Veronica the room number. When she opened the door and found an outdated room with a large king sized bed covered in a tacky flowered comforter along with walls in another flower pattern.

Mac entered the room and dropped the bag on the bed. She opened it and pulled out a pair of pajama pants that she quickly changed into. The vintage t-shirt she was already wearing was plenty comfortable so she didn't feel the need to change out of it. Mac pulled the covers back and crawled into the bed.

She heard her phone vibrating again and sat up to pull it out of her purse that was sitting on the end of the bed. Dick's face was on the screen again. She watched as it rang until sending him to voicemail. After another minute the phone pinged with another message.

Mac decided to listen to what Dick had left and clicked on the first voicemail to play.

Hey babe. You mom called me. She's worried because you and Ronnie bolted out of the dress shop today. Call me and let me know what's going on. I love you.

She clicked on the second voicemail.

It's me again. Just a little worried because I haven't heard from you yet. Love you.

She clicked on the third.

Okay, so it's been over an hour since your mom called me and I'm worried. Remember you promised to always tell me before putting yourself in danger. Just give me a sign that you're okay. I love you.

She clicked on the fourth, which was the one he just left.

So Logan just called me. Apparently he talked to Ronnie and she says you are both okay, but something happened. He wouldn't tell me what. I'm worried that you didn't call me yourself. What's going on? Please call me. I love you.

Mac felt tears well in her eyes. She doesn't doubt that she loves Dick, but she realized that she had been living in some sort of dream state for the past six months and worried that there are issues they as a couple haven't addressed. It was making her doubt about the stability of their relationship.

A knock sounded on the door and Mac stood up to let Veronica in.

"Hey Q. I brought comfort food and booze. So let's talk."

Mac shut the door. "Shouldn't we be doing the girl thing where we braid each other's hair and eat ice cream?"

"Nope. We're independent adult women." She pulled a bottle out of one of the bags. "We drink whiskey."

They sat down at the table and Mac opened a container to find veggie nachos. She started digging in, while Veronica poured out two shots and pushed one to Mac.

"Bottoms up." They clinked glasses and downed the shots.

Mac felt Veronica eyes staring at her while they ate and took two more shots apiece. She knew Veronica was giving her space to talk when she was ready. Mac had heard her phone vibrate once during their meal and now it was vibrating again from where it was sitting on the bed. Mac stared at it and noticed Veronica look at the phone too from her peripheral vision.

"My bubble popped." Mac picked up the whiskey and poured another shot.

Veronica's head turned back to her. "What?"

Mac downed the shot and gestured in a circle with the empty glass. "The happy, love bubble that I've been living in, it's popped and now reality is setting in. Let's be honest. Dick was a man-whore and I'm going to constantly run into other women that he's had sex with. That bridal consultant today was the same girl who threw herself at Dick during the Fourth of July party."

"If I had known that, then she would have met Mr. Sparky."

Mac smiled at her friend before sighing and pouring another shot. "People think he's only marrying me because I'm knocked up."

"Well, I must say that I'm glad your not or else I would feel really bad about buying you that bottle of liquor."

Mac placed her chin on the table and stared at the shot she had just poured. "Should I marry Dick?"

Veronica sighed and laid her hands on the table then placed her chin on top of them to look Mac in the eye. "I can't answer that. It's your decision."

"What if he gets bored with me one day? He's used to having a constant stream of women. I don't know how I've kept him interested this long. Charles believes he's going to eventually cheat. What if he does? I don't think I could survive that." Mac wiped at the tear that had fallen.

"I can't promise that he won't, I mean we all know I'm not Dick's biggest fan. But I will tell you not to let Charles Sinclair effect your decision."

"Why do you hate him? I know it's more than just letting the air out of your tires in high school."

Veronica closed her eyes. "I don't hate him. At least not anymore."

Mac sat up. "Fine, then why did you hate him?"

Veronica stood up and walked over to the bed where she picked up Mac's phone. "You have two new voicemails. He's probably worried sick." She sat down on the end of the bed.

"Stop dodging the question. I need to know." Mac was staring at her hands in her lap.

"Are you sure you want to know?"

Mac looked her directly in the eye. "Positive." She wasn't sure if she wanted to know, but knew that she needed to.

"Okay." Veronica took a few deep breaths. "The night I was raped." She took another breath to steady herself.

"Cassidy." Mac whispered.

Veronica nodded. "Dick was the one who put GHB in a drink and gave it to Madison. She spit in the drink and gave it to me. Then Dick feed me shots after I was drugged."

"Yeah. You told me that a long time ago."

"Dick's also the one who put me in the room. He carried me in there and told…told his brother to do it."

"WHAT?!"

"Mac." Veronica had a soothing tone. "I don't believe he thought that his brother would ever touch me. In fact, I think Dick thought he was helping me by putting me in that room to sleep."

Mac's chin was quivering. "How can I be with a man who did that? He instigated my best friend's rape." She had tears start pouring down your face.

"Because you aren't with the man who did that. For starters, he was a stupid 16 year old boy when that happened."

Mac folded her arms on the table and laid her head down to cry. "I know he isn't the same person he was back then. Why didn't he ever mention this to me?"

"Because he doesn't know about it."

Mac looked up at Veronica. "What do you mean, he doesn't know?"

"After his brother died, Dick was a mess. Logan couldn't tell him and I wasn't about to, so he doesn't know." Veronica picked at a loose thread on the comforter.

"Why would you tell me that? How am I not going to tell him? I can't keep that a secret." Mac started rubbing her face in frustration. She stood up and carried the bottle of whiskey with her as she crawled into the bed and back under the covers.

"You asked." Veronica stood up from where she was sitting at the end of the bed and laid down on the other side from Mac. They were facing each other and Veronica placed her hand in Mac's. "I don't expect you to keep it a secret. Eventually, the truth comes out." She set Mac's phone between them.

"I already listened to the first four he left."

"Well, let's hear five and six." She pressed play.

Mac. Babe. I'm not going to stop calling until I hear from you. Just let me know you're okay. Please. I love you.

Veronica played the most recent one.

I've been trying to get a hold of you for over two hours. Veronica isn't answering her phone either. I'm freaking out of here. What's going on? Call me. Please.

Mac could hear the worry in his voice. She took a swig from the bottle. She picked up the phone and contemplated calling him before opening her text messages and composing one to Dick.

I'm okay.

Less than a minute later Dick's picture appeared on her phone as it started to vibrate.

Veronica laughed. "He's persistent." Her smile faded and she looked at Mac with a serious expression. "He loves you, Mac. Of that I'm sure."

Mac hit ignore. "But I'm not ready to talk to him yet." She looked back at Veronica. "You never mention Cassidy to me."

Veronica let go of Mac's hand and rolled on to her back. "It's not really something I talk about to anyone. Do you ever talk about him?"

"I went with Dick to his grave this summer on the anniversary." Mac sighed. "I guess I'm not surprised to find out he doesn't know about…about your rape." Her voice broke. "He didn't know about how you and Logan found me either. I told him."

Veronica turned her head to make eye contact with Mac. "How did he take it?"

"He was upset. Told me that he never would have asked me to go there with him if he had known."

The phone started to vibrate again. Veronica picked it up and held it to Mac who shook her head.

"Do you want me to answer it? Maybe that will get him to stop for a while."

Mac nodded and Veronica clicked to answer the phone.

"Hey Dick…She can't come to the phone right now…Um…Not really…I can't tell you…I'm sorry Dick, but I'm not going to tell you. You're going to have to wait until she's ready to talk to you…Well stop calling so she and I can talk through this…Okay."

Mac took a long chug from the whiskey bottle. Veronica used her free hand to pull the bottle from Mac. "Give me the whiskey."

Veronica realized the phone was still against her ear. "Oh…Yes she's been drinking…I know that makes her honest, which is why I gave it to her…I'm not putting her on the phone…I know you're worried…Okay…Bye." Veronica hung up the phone.

"He says he loves you. He's really worried and scared right now because he doesn't know what's going on."

Mac started to cry again and Veronica moved closer to her and enveloped her in a hug. After Mac was able to calm down, Veronica pulled away from her and brushed her hair back.

"Okay. So I want you to answer me quickly and without thinking. Picture yourself ten years from now, tell me what you see."

Mac closed her eyes and saw the most wonderful picture of her and Dick waking up to two little children bouncing on their bed. "Dick and I with a couple of kids."

"After learning about Dick, do you still love him?"

"Yes." Mac opened her eyes.

"Does Dick make you happy?"

Mac started to laugh. "Does dick make you happy? Did you hear yourself?"

"Oh shut up!" Veronica swatted at her. "Does being with Dick, the person, make you happy?"

"Yes." Mac was still trying to control her laugh.

"Do you want to marry Dick?"

She stopped laughing and looked at Veronica. "Yes."

"Then that's what you should do. Damn other people's opinions. This is about you and him."

"Freaking out is exhausting. I need to go to sleep."

Veronica rubbed her hand over Mac's hair. "Okay. I'm going to go call Logan."

Mac closed her eyes and drifted off when she quickly woke up to hear Veronica speaking to Logan on the phone.

"I think you need to go tell Dick about what happened to me…Yeah, I told Mac about Dick's role…Well she asked why I didn't like Dick and wasn't taking no for an answer…We'll be back around noon tomorrow…Okay…I love you too…Bye."

Mac was watching Veronica who was staring out the window as she felt sleep pull her back down.

Mac and Veronica arrived in front of Mars Investigation around eleven. Mac got out of Veronica's SUV and thanked her for all her support the previous day. She got into her own car and drove home to see Dick.

When she arrived at the beach house, she entered and crossed the foyer to find Dick sitting on the couch staring into a glass of scotch.

"Hey." She knew Logan had spoken to Dick the night before and that Dick hadn't taken the news of his part in Veronica's rape well.

He sat the glass down on the coffee table with a thud. Dick closed his eyes and placed his face in his hands. "Can you just quickly rip the bandaid off? I don't want a long drawn out speech about how you're going to leave me." His voice was a little slurred.

Mac crossed the room and sat down next to him on the couch. She placed her hand on his cheek and pulled his face to look at her, but his eyes remained closed. "Look at me." He opened his eyes. "I'm not leaving you." She gave him a brief kiss before crawling into his lap and wrapping her arms around him. "I love you."

His arms encircled her and Dick began to cry into her shoulder. "How can you stay with me after what I did? I caused Veronica to be raped. I'm a horrible person. You should be disgusted with me. I am."

She pulled back to look at him. Her heart broke for the pain and remorse he was feeling. "Cassidy raped Veronica, well and Duncan in my honest opinion." Dick looked up at her confused. "Not the point. You are not the person who raped her. You made a really bad joke when you were teasing him, but I know you didn't think he would ever touch her. I also know that you aren't the same person you were back then. That teenage boy isn't the man I fell in love with."

Dick was rubbing Mac's back. "How can you trust someone who tried to drug his ex-girlfriend?"

"Oh. That part I've always known and that you feed her shots. Veronica told me about that senior year of high school, so it wasn't news to me."

"What? You knew about that this whole time."

"Yes."

"And you were still with me?"

"I told you that I know you aren't the same stupid kid who did that. The part that I didn't know was that you put her in that room and told Cassidy to do her."

Dick hung his head. "She was passed out. We used to be friends before Lilly died. I thought it would be better to let her sleep it off, so I carried her into an empty bedroom. I never thought Cassidy was going to touch her. I always thought he would fall head over heels for a girl and lose his v card to her. I was just ragging on him."

Mac didn't know what to say to make him feel better, so she lifted his face and gave him a kiss on the lips before hugging him tightly.

"After Logan told me everything, I figured Veronica convinced you to leave me."

"Actually." Mac pulled back. "Veronica didn't push me one way or the other. She got me drunk and then asked me a bunch of questions until I came to my own decision. Who would have thought that psych degree of hers would come in handy?" Mac looked down at Dick's shirt and thumbed a button. "I should also tell you, that wasn't the reason I freaked out. Veronica told me all of that after I demanded to know why she used to hate you."

"Used to? She still hates me."

"No she doesn't. She knows who deserves the blame and it isn't you."

"So why did you freak out?"

"Amy was my bridal consultant at the dress shop."

Dick looked confused. "Who's Amy?"

"The girl who threw herself at you back on July Fourth."

"Oh." Dick's face dropped.

She nodded her head. "Yeah. And she wanted to show me maternity gowns."

Dick arched an eyebrow. "Um. Is there something you need to tell me? Because if you are pregnant, I'm not okay with Ronnie getting you drunk yesterday."

Mac rolled her eyes at Dick. "Seriously?"

He gave her a small laugh. Mac was pleased to see that his melancholia was better.

"Actually, it wasn't just Amy. There were three women at the party who asked me when I was due. They were sure that you would only want to marry me if I was pregnant. And then to have them all say that slept with you bothered me."

Dick was confused again. "What women? Other than you, there was no one at my party who I have had sex with."

"One was a tall, curvy redhead and then there was…"

He held his hand up. "I'll stop you there. I knew who you're talking about. Those three are always trying to get different rich guys to sleep with them. One of them got knocked up once and thought she had hit pay dirt until it turned out she wasn't. I have NEVER slept with any of them. They are just looking for a rich baby daddy, which is not a job description I want."

"Do you want kids?" Mac realized that they had never discussed the possibility of children.

"A year ago, I would have said no. But then you turned my world upside down and I kind of like the idea of having kids with you."

Mac smiled. "Good."

Let me know what you think of this chapter.