Chapter 69

Today I went to the local mall. I got some clothes. Alice thought that I was drowning in the ones I had, she thinks I'm too thin, I think so too. She wants me to do something with myself but still I don't know what.

I went in to a stationary story and got a journal, I also asked about a craft store, I think I know what I need; I've been itching to paint again. During my long stay on that fucking nut-house, all I ever thought about was the images on my walls and that I had wanted to make them real, I wanted them on canvas. And now that I have a chance to do it, I'll make it happen.

I went back to the little diner from last week.

I thought that if I came back that old intense woman would be here again, but I passed by where I had seen them camping out and the place was deserted. I even went inside the little house, it was clean but drafty, I looked in all the rooms and on the last one, I open the door and in side I found a large statue like figure for a moment I actually thought it was a real person, it frightened me so much that I fell back and hit my head on the hall wall. It was so life like, It stood regally beckoning me, it's face was skeletal and shaded by the large black hood covering it's head and the clock like clothing covered the body but leaving it's feet bear the bone like toes picking out of it.

It held a large scythe in it's boney hand, and on the other there was a thin long sheet of paper, when I came closer to it, I could see that inside against where the hart would be, in it's black clock it held a small picture frame, carefully and still reeling from the first impression, I hesitantly took it from it's place. And there carved on the little frame were the words "Isabella Indulgent" in the most beautiful script, inside the frame was a pencil drawn image of a woman with long hair and child like features. Her eyes where closed as if in sleep, her head lay on a boney chest partly covered in dark clothes. I shivered and accidentally dropped the picture making the little frame fall open. The image flew away from me from the draft coming from the broken windows and holes on the walls, the wind had picked up since I'd been standing there, I saw how it made it fly outside the boarded up window, trough a large crack were the light had been coming in.

I backed away from the large frightening figure and practically ran outside the door to the back yard.

I looked around and the only thing I could find was black trash bags, all lined up next to a large trashcan. I saw a large wooden frame with little figures carved into them, there little faces seam to be in pain, the quiet screams seamed daunting, I felt a shiver run down my back and a cool breeze whipped my hair against my face, as I dropped my bags on the floor to move it over my shoulder I see the small shinny object on the floor. I leaned down to take a better look, and there on the grown was a small locket in the shape of an oval engraved in the front where two letters an I and an E entwined in gothic-like script. When I stood up, I saw the sheet with the image from inside under a small rock, as if someone had found it and put the rock over it to save it for me.

I come closer to it, and picked it up, I moved back to where all my bags where and quickly move to get out of this place.

I walked the 3 blocks to the diner at a very quick pace that I was practically hyperventilating when I finally sat on the back booth from last time.

When I had finally calmed down, I opened the little journal and placed the image between the pages for safe keeping.

The blond rude waitress from last time, came to take my order and never looked in my direction, only scribbled down my order on her notepad.

I sat there looking out the window for a few minutes just looking back to the little house, I still felt frighten, so much so that when the waitress rudely and loudly placed my plate with the large hamburger and my cup of coffee on the table I practically jumped out of my skin. She smiled and smaked her lips in a cow like way. –"Jumpy are, we today?"- her smile was definitely not polite. I sneerd at her, she could forget about getting a tip, bitch.

I've been sitting here for the past hour. I've finished my food and been looking over at the supplies I've bought. I know I won't be able to get started right away like I would like. Alice doesn't have the space for my stuff, and I don't want them to have to make more room for me. I'm already imposing on there family routine. This is one of the reasons I told Alice that I'd rather walk the 25 blocks to the mall then to have her take me. Jasper leaves every morning at around 6, and the kids start arriving at 7 so I help her out with David and Dallas getting them ready and fed so that when they're ready they can join the older ones with Alice. Since today was a little cold and windy she had everyone downstairs in the dance studio/playroom/music room, and what ever else she calls it. She had been wanting for me to stay with her, she's seem me interact with her kids. I love them, and love helping her but it's not what I like to do. I can surely help her out these days, I mean it's the leased I can do after disturbing her life and making here worry about me. But I know I have to go back.

And besides, since I still feel it at night hovering around me inside her home, I'm afraid that anything could happen with the kids. I don't feel that I would be safe for them, I've had accidents and the type that I can't control and I would die first if I'd ever unintentionally hurt one of the kids or Alice and Jasper, I love them too much so I know I have to be away from them, They need to be safe, they are the only family I have left.

I still don't know when but I know it will be soon when I leave.

The day is passing and I'm still sitting here in the booth. They're getting ready for the dinner crowed and I'll have to move soon, I see that the blond rude waitress has left, I guess her shift ended. There's a tall dark skin man behind the counter, his long dreadlocks and his hippie style clothing make him stand out a bit. He's smile seams more genuine then the blond waitress did. I see how he talks to all the costumers and moves quickly between the tables refreshing coffee cups and cutlery, he looks young and happy. When he comes to my table he smiles and asks if I'm OK, and if he can get anything else for me. I smile back and tell him I'm OK.

He takes the dirty plates that the blond never came for. I pack up my things and put my coat back on, I feel cold and I haven't even gone outside yet.

I feel stiff too, since I've been sitting in the same booth for 5 hours.